14 year old daughter type 1

By briannamom Latest Reply 2013-07-09 08:15:06 -0500
Started 2013-06-19 21:56:06 -0500

my daughter was dx with type 1 when she was 13, she has always never wanted to talk about her diabetes with anyone or even come on here for support. She always says she is fine. She just recently switched to the pump and its been down hill with her attitude since, she won't check her sugar as often and she should, won't eat regularly and always fights about checking her sugar, she has started to lie about eating and doing sugar checks when she is at friends houses to. How do I give her her independence as a teenager without sounding like a nagging mom all the time, it's seems everyday is a fight and I am close to a mental break down. She never really gets high readings, if anything she gets alot of low readings

5 replies

BroadwayGirl 2013-07-09 08:15:06 -0500 Report

I went through this same phase. I can honestly say I regret it, and I'm going to be honest. The ONLY thing that made me wise up and take care of myself if when my doctors threatened to take away my insulin pump. Maybe you need talk to her doctors about this, or treat her like a child again and restrict how much she goes to friends and watch over her closely when it is time to check her blood sugar and when it's time to eat.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2013-06-21 12:28:49 -0500 Report

HI briannamom,

Nice to see you here. It seems like I am reading a lot of posts lately from parents who are concerned about their teen's self-care.

I don't know your daughter, of course, but I can tell you about what I have experienced with parents and teens in this situation. There are many reasons why teens become lax about taking care of themselves. Here a few ideas to consider.

With the move to the new pump, her routine has changed. She may be resisting having to make changes how she manages her diabetes day to day, even if these changes will result in better, and easier, control. Making the switch to the pump may feel like a lot of work, and more time spent on thinking about diabetes when she doesn't want to think about it. And she may be assuming that the pump requires less diligence on her part, so a little denial mixed in Some additional education might be in order.

On the other hand, your daughter may be experiencing diabetes burnout -- that "I am sick of dealing with this" feeling that many diabetics experience at times. Again, having to focus so much on her diabetes with the move to the pump, and the changes in her routine, she may leaving her feeling like its all too much work. Can't I just ignore this and make it go away?

Her age may be a factor here. Teens often have control issues with their parents. With the move to the pump, you may have become more involved in her diabetic self-care as you made this transition. She may be feeling micromanaged, and consequently be resisting taking care of herself as a way of asserting her independence.

Teens don't like to feel like outsiders. The new pump may be making her feel like her diabetes is more evident to her peers, or be worried that it might, especially if she has had comments or questions.

Lack of compliance can related to depression.

It might help to sit down and have a talk with her about your concerns. Be calm and supportive, avoid sounding accusatory. Let her know what you have observed, and why you are concerned. Ask her how you can help. Suggest that you work on a plan that you can both commit to and work together on, with incentives for staying on track.

It could also help to meet with her doctor or a diabetic educator and talk about how she is doing with her self-care, with the healthcare professional reinforcing the importance of self-care, reviewing how to best manage her diabetes with pump, and maybe making some suggestions to integrate her self-care routine into her lifestyle.

If you suspect your daughter is depressed, you might encourage her to talk to a counselor.

You mentioned that you were close to a mental breakdown. I can only begin to imagine how stressful it must be to see your daughter, who you love so much, not taking care of herself, and how helpless that makes you feel. I hope you are getting support. You might want to talk to her doctor on your own, to get some advice. You might also want to sit down with a counselor and get some help on coping with your frustration, and improving your communication with your daughter.

I am glad you are here. I hope you will stay in touch with us!


briannamom 2013-06-21 17:51:06 -0500 Report

Thank you so much for all your wonderful advice Dr. Gary. I will def try all your suggestions, some days are better then others with her, one day at a time is all I tell her.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2013-06-21 21:59:46 -0500 Report

Hi briannamom, you are very welcome. I know this must be a very hard time for you. Yes, one day at a time. Please keep us posted on how you are doing. My thoughts are with you. Gary

cass VANDERENT 2013-06-20 03:40:52 -0500 Report

Sounds alot like me!! Except mine always sat high. I was constantly fighting with my mum and she just gave up and let me figure it out on my own. I was diagnosed at 14 I'm now almost 22