Mz Tara
By Mz Tara Latest Reply 2013-05-13 03:43:31 -0500
Started 2013-05-11 12:48:12 -0500

By Tara Morgan

I never truly know what’s wrong with me
and on most days I strain to see
I wake and live and sleep with pain
managing my diet is a constant strain
I’m always tired and always weak
Especially during midday peak
They tell me it’s important to exercise
but I have no strength, that’s no surprise

Hey … I could really go for some steaming hot fries!

I try to stay upbeat despite my health
but most times end up feeling sorry for myself
through anger I ask, why’d this have to happen to me?
From this dreadful disease I wish to be free

I wish I could flee…
Dear God up above please hear my plea

And yet again I wake another day
to count, to hurt to kneel and to pray
to watch the healthy eat as they may
with cakes and cookies and pasta and ice cream
the memories of those days are all but a dream

I pray that someday there will be a cure
to again make my blood clean and pure
to clear my days of sugar load worries
and high blood glucose flurries, no more pain,
the exit of diet management strain, no more in and
out eyesight blurries

Dear God up above please hear my plea
of this dreadful disease I wish to be free …

I wish to once again be me

© 2013 TMMorgan

5 replies

Fefe12 2013-05-13 03:23:18 -0500 Report

Im so sorry you feel so sad. Im wondering if your mental state has something to do with your low energy or how you are eating. As a believer, church should be your number one priority, you should surround yourself with people who love and care for you. But I wonder why the prayer to be free of this issue. Would not good health and to bring your love of yourself and life be a better choice? When you think about it we all have some choices we need to make. Some of those choices mean we have to leave some things we love behind. But thats not the end of the world, its just a change. You are basiclly asking to go back to how you were before and resume eating as you did. From what it sounds like it sounds like you will go back to eating in the same unhealthy way you did before. Why? Think about it. All the things you mentioned eating, no one should be eating. We have such an epidemic of unhealthy heavy people in this country. Heart problems, high blood pressure and high cholesteral. None of that sounds like something that should be a goal to have. Im more healthy then I have ever been. All my friends tell me how good I look. Even strangers I meet on the street comment on how I look. I look and feel great and even though there are a few foods I miss.I dont deny myself, I just have a bite. I wouldnt go back to that way of life for anything. Please take care and let that anger go. Stop and smell the roses, hug a friend, watch a sunset. Life can be good.

Mz Tara
Mz Tara 2013-05-13 03:43:31 -0500 Report

Thank you Fefe12 However; I'm not unhappy or unhealthy nor have I ever had an unhealthy diet…not even before diabetes. I'm avid in the Church. I belong to a church choir and a gospel singing group. Of course I would want to be free of disease, who wouldn't? The most I have ever weighed was 158 lbs and at the time I was 9 months pregnant …the nutritionist pretty much forced me to eat ice cream at the time to gain weight for the sake of my baby. My diabetes was brought on my a blood pressure medication that my then doctor failed to monitor correctly despite my many calls, complaints of the diabetic symptoms and even an outright request to test me for diabetes. Because my fathers family is diabetic I was predisposed and the med HCTZ which causes hyperglycemia brought it on …not my diet, nor lack of exercise. Really, the only changes to my diet that I can really assert is that NOW I count carbs, even the cakes, cookies pasta and ice cream :) As for the poem. I am a published poet. I write music. It's hardly ever about me …but I can identify with it and I'm sure others can too… Thank you for taking the time to read my poem and take care of yourself.

Dr John
Dr John 2013-05-12 10:27:49 -0500 Report

Nice poem. Sounds like you need help. If you are not lactose intolerant or allergic to dairy, you can have ice cream. Weight it out to 36 grams of carb and take the appropriate amount of insulin. Also, I had adverse reactions to Humalog and Lantus because they are made with bacteria, which produce tyramine. I'm feeling much better on Novolog only and a pump. Novolog is made with yeast. Sorry I cannot mention my book on Diabetes. I will be thrown off this forum. But, you can ask me questions.

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