new to the group

By wifemotherngrannie Latest Reply 2013-04-09 22:08:45 -0500
Started 2013-04-07 16:51:22 -0500

is there a support group? my husband is diabetic and he's not taking very good care of himself and i need to find out how best to help him get on track. he was doing so good and now he just doesn't seem to care. is there anyone who can provide me with a little guidance?

Tags: diabetes

6 replies

Harlen 2013-04-08 06:05:39 -0500 Report

Hello and welcome
Tell him you wish him to be with you for as long as he can and not taking care of him self is cutting that time short.
I wish to see the grand kids grow up and I can't do that without my eyes D will mess them up if I don't take care of it.
Best wishes

jayabee52 2013-04-07 18:25:50 -0500 Report

Howdy Wifemotherngrannie

When first diagnosed (Dx'd) I didn't take my diabetes mellitus (DM) seriously enough. My wife had to get me in our pastor's office and tell me in front of him that she would divorce me if I did not take care of myself. I treasured my marriage and so I started taking care of myself. Depending on your relationship with your hubby this may or may not work.

Another thing which has worked with me on another occasion when I got a bit lax on my DM care was she got really amorous, sat on my lap and started huggin and kissing on me and whispered in my ear that she'd really miss this if I got worse and we couldn't do this again.

On another issue I had been neglecting, not DM related, she confronted me with an "I message" which she stated I am scared (or other feeling) when you (do something, or don't do something) because (speak of a non accusatory or non blaming condequence to you) . When my first wife did that I took care of the problem right away because I didn't want her to be scared, sad or whatever emotion she used. Guys generally want to defend and protect their ladies from worry, sadness ect.

The I messages do tend to get tricky when first trying them and you may wish to practice what you will say to hubby (perhaps with a trusted friend or clergy person) You can find more about this in this article here ~ http://www.only-effective-communication-skill...

I will be praying that you can effectively comminicate to him his importance to you and that taking care of himself regarding his DM is a way to live and love a long life with you and your children and grandchildren!

James Baker

adamr1989 2013-04-07 18:03:45 -0500 Report

What type Diabetes does he have? I'm sort of the same way. I've been a diabetic since I was 9 years old and pretty much just wanted to give up. My family is my biggest support and help me. So as long as you and the rest of the family support and help him then he will come back. Go to some of his endocrinology appointments and tell them about your concerns also. I created a Facebook page for support if he'd like to check that out.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2013-04-07 17:21:14 -0500 Report

Hi and welcome to the DC family. Depending on how long your husband has been diabetic may be the reason he seems to no longer care. He has fallen off the wagon and it may be hard for him to get back on it.

He may need motivation to do so. Diabetics can get depressed because they have to eat certain foods, eat more often, test regularly and take medications. He could be mildly depressed. Keep the lines of communication open. Let him know you are willing to listen and keep an open mind. If you are frustrated because of this he could be reacting to that.

You have to find a way to motivate him and be supportive without being the food/test your blood/take your medication police. If you do any of those things you have to stop. That isn't motivation that is trying to force him to take better care of himself. You cannot force anyone to take better care of him/herself. The one thing you can't do is nag him to take care of himself. The more you nag the less likely he is to pay attention to you.

He may need a diabetic refresher course. Find a diabetes education class. Tell him you want to learn whats new with diabetes and ask him if he would go with you. If he doesn't go alone. Find a diabetic support group in your area. Some large cities have them.

Let him know that he can count on you to help him. Show him that you care. Listen and make suggestions and don't say you need to do this or that. If you are making healthy low carb meals and have low carb snacks, continue to do so. He may also be bored with the food he is eating. Try new recipes and enlist his help. If you like to walk, suggest a stroll after dinner. Find interesting things the two of you will enjoy doing together. I do hope things work out for the both of you. Good luck.