Marriage

Anonymous
By Anonymous Latest Reply 2013-04-01 07:19:40 -0500
Started 2013-03-27 16:29:32 -0500

Well. Im new here.. but glad to see so many of ul here having nd facing the same issues… it hurts me the most when people who come to see you for marriage reject u for being s diabetic.. iv been type1 since 20 yerss .. with quite fluctuations in sugar levels. . But nothing major as such.. it depresses me evrytime worrying about the future.. marriage .. pregnancy. . And so many things.. why is that we have to face so much? ??


16 replies

tinkerbell54
tinkerbell54 2013-04-01 07:19:40 -0500 Report

diabetes should not be the issue . If the person loves U that is all that matters. I should knows I will be married 25 Yrs. This May 21 . I married my best friend John. who just had his 52 birthday on Easter Day. My problem was not my diabetes it was my weight I to had the same thought . Just pray to GOD & He will answer Ur Prayer . Tinkerbell54

missymoose13
missymoose13 2013-03-29 10:06:09 -0500 Report

Awwwww sweety if they love you they won't care. I'm married and my husband didn't really understand compleately until he saw a 46 low NOW he looks at everything. Stay the course take being diabetic off the website and find out if you like each other first , if your digging on each other THAN tell him your diabetic . A lot of people don't really understand about diabetics if you explain it like we just have to better and regularly it won't be scary

jayabee52
jayabee52 2013-03-28 19:08:47 -0500 Report

Babz(?)

After I was divorced out of a 25 yr relationship I felt I had been passed over by a lot of ladies on dating websites for much the same reason. I am sure there were other reasons (like my recent divorce) which put them off me.

But for me just the right one came along, and it was a fantastic relationship even though way too brief for me. We were involved for about 3.5 yrs, married for about 2 of those yrs.

She had many more "medical challenges" (as she laughingly would refer to them) than did I. Even though I was pretty sure our marriage would not set any longevity records, I loved her and she me, and it was the main point of being involved. We both believed that God had put us together for a great purpose and to love one another.

I had hoped to have at least 10 yrs with her. Unfortunately for me she passed in July 2010. And I am not sad it is over, I am smiling because it happened at all!

I am of course open for another lady to come along side of me to share the remainder of my life on this earth. But I am not in a frantic search for someone right NOW(!). I found that when I backed off of frantically looking, often someone would eventually present herself as a good possibility.

So my counsel to you Anon (Babz ?) is relax. When the time and the person is right it will just happen!

My first marriage was good, but in some ways I think it was a bit (looking for the right word here) artificial. I feel sometimes that I manipulated her into a relationship with me because of my presence in her life and her mother's hatred of her current boyfriend at the time. The first time I saw her I was smitten, but I don't think it was mutual. So I set about to win her heart. That is what I mean by "artificial". It wasn't mutual attraction right away, but it had to be built and maintained over time. Compared to my 2nd marriage, and the courtship preceeding it, it seemed artificial.

Blessings and I pray someone good happens to you soon!

James

Tony5657
Tony5657 2013-03-30 13:05:07 -0500 Report

Ahhhh the wisdom of James (Jayabee52), … truer words have never been spoken. Thanks for your postings. You've blessed me and I'm sure countless others. :o) And here's some wisdom from me: as we say here, "Don't let impatience get your shorts in a wad." It's not comfortable, it's sort of like a wedgie…:o(

ol' Tony5657 in New Braunfels, TX

babz02
babz02 2013-03-29 00:57:43 -0500 Report

I totally agree jayabee.. that all will fall into place at the right time. .. :)

tinkerbell54
tinkerbell54 2013-03-29 03:45:42 -0500 Report

when I first met my husband I feeling love at first sight. I know only in the fairy tales but it happens. he picked me up from work I was a nurse aid at the time. he took me home from my job since I don't drive. He met my dad I was sure he would jolt.but he did not. my husband is my best friend. we will be married for 25 yrs this May. he is my help mate & he is my support team with my diabetes. We have 1 super teenager she wants to be a teacher. I know how it is looking for the perfect mate. its hard job but GOD will help u find the right person. I married my best friend. Tinkerbell54

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2013-03-28 12:58:49 -0500 Report

When you look at something as an obstacle, it becomes just that, an obstacle. You have no idea what your future holds so you really can't worry about it. I have a cousin who has been diabetic for years and her husband now has Parkinsons. There are paraplegics who get married and are happy people.

You are letting this become a negative obstacle because you are trying to predict your future. Keep in mind not everyone wants to be married to someone who is sick while others see the person instead of the illness.

The reality is that you are causing yourself to be depressed over something out of your control. You don't know if or when you will meet the right person for you and you can't predict when that will happen.

The one thing I have noticed with people especially those who are longing for marriage and children is that because they are so desperate to have these things, they settle for the first person who comes along and says all the things they want to hear. This includes both men and women. These people end up in unhappy relationships that often end in divorce or become abusive.

Be happy with who you are, what you have and what you can become. No one wants to date a depressed person who feels sorry for themselves. Be all you can be in life, be a positive person and the negatives won't matter because they don't count. Good luck to you.

Harlen
Harlen 2013-03-27 22:50:54 -0500 Report

We are strong and can take it lol that what I tell my self lol

Lentyl
Lentyl 2013-03-28 12:02:19 -0500 Report

Dwell on the positive things and the negative things will either disappear or resolve. Don't future vision. There is enough in a day to occupy you.

babz02
babz02 2013-03-27 23:05:47 -0500 Report

Thank you all soo much.. for the comments. . I feel quite positive .. iv alws felt that.. diabetes is so common today that it can happen to any1 of them in future even to the people who rejected me.. thn would they leave their wives cos thev got detected with diabetes. .I really feel better seeing all of u so positive. . Thanks a lot

Gabby
GabbyPA 2013-03-27 19:08:10 -0500 Report

I used to worry about my future. When I would get married, would I have kids. I worried, and I was not even diabetic at the time. What I found is that once I was happy with where I was in life, single, married, rich, poor, and so on, then is when I found I could be happiest.

We cannot let our worth or our value be based on what others see as our successes or failures. What many people see as a major failure in my life I see as an incredible opportunity to find out who I am and all that I am able to accomplish. Those same things are inside of you.

I cannot tell you that you will not worry, or even need to from time to time. But I can tell you that when you feel proud of where you are and the person you have grown to be, then you will find pieces fall into place. It's like looking for the lost car keys. You search frantically and get all upset. Once you give up and just "look"....there they are!

tinkerbell54
tinkerbell54 2013-03-27 19:17:06 -0500 Report

I was 28 yrs. old when I got married & I was not even diabetic as of yet. But I was were because I was over weight woman who was big busted . & all my friends were getting married . But good Christian friend of mine introduce me to my furture Husband. I was were that no one would ever marry. Because I was not one of the beauty blonde girls. But I prayed to GOD that I find a good Christian Man. & I did we will be married 25 yrs. this May 21. Tinkerbell54

natashar
natashar 2013-03-27 18:17:50 -0500 Report

If someone rejects you because you are diabetic, they are clearly cold-hearted and ignorant! Not the kind of person suitable for marriage, or at least in my opinion! I've been with my boyfriend for three years now and he is extremely supportive, accepting and understanding of my situation. I am also a type1 and worry a lot about the future, too. Sometimes I feel the same way, wondering what I ever did to deserve this disease. But negative thoughts won't change anything and will just add to your stress level! Stay positive and know that there are people out there who will support you through your daily battle! XO

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2013-03-28 11:29:01 -0500 Report

agree! There are so many other issues to be rejected on! Geez, there are so many more important things to consider in a relationship. I have found that having diabetes effect probably less than 5% of what I do. Jim

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