Mourning

NonnieCee
By NonnieCee Latest Reply 2013-04-09 22:15:41 -0500
Started 2013-03-24 20:59:49 -0500

I was only diagnosed a month ago even though I suspected something was up long before it was made official. I have diabetics in the family so I wasn't really surprised but I am finding my own journey much harder than I expected it to be. I want to cry because I feel like I have had two lives: the old one where I could eat what I wanted within reason and this new one where I feel deprived all the time. I am mourning being able to eat without panicking about carb counts. I want a small Blizzard or Molten Cake Sundae so bad I can taste them but they would be more than my entire daily limit of carbs! This is so overwhelming, like I am never going to feel 'normal' again. Is this 'mental' withdrawal?


16 replies

Gabby
GabbyPA 2013-03-27 19:17:16 -0500 Report

It's normal. There are steps of grieving when we are diagnosed. Once you see that eating the way "normal" people do is really not normal...you will have the ah ha moment and move forward a little bit.

Here is a good discussion on the steps of grieving that apply to chronic diagnosis. http://www.diabeticconnect.com/discussions/17627-grief-a-necessary-part-of-accepting-diabetes

NonnieCee
NonnieCee 2013-03-27 19:48:12 -0500 Report

Thanks. I recognized the signs of grieving but the. Brain knowing and the body knowing are two very different things. This place has been a Godsend where I can talk to others who know exactly what I'm saying and how I feel.

smurfysuzi
smurfysuzi 2013-03-27 19:09:40 -0500 Report

I am still going through this. Everytime I grab something to eat I have to stop and think about how many carbs are in it. It doesn't help that my husband and son are refusing to help me by eating better themselves. I come home to a fridge and pantry that are full of sweet sugary treats. I feel like I can't eat normal meals with them, because they eat so many carbs. It is very hard to make sometimes a completely seperate meal for myself from what they are eating.
Most of the time I feel better about how I'm doing, but this week it's been hard. My numbers are up from last week, my emotions are all over the place and I've felt like giving up, but I want to be around when my son has kids. I want to be as healthy as I can be for as long as I can be. I just want to be. The mental and emotional toll of diabetes is just as hard as the physical toll.
Good luck with your journey and know that you are not alone in this!

NonnieCee
NonnieCee 2013-03-27 19:44:05 -0500 Report

Thanks for the encouragement. I have the same problem with separate meals. I can eat lots of salads and green veggies but hubby is on blood thinners and can't eat those. He likes quick pasta meals and steak fries which I can't eat. It is enough to drive one silly.

Anonymous
Anonymous 2013-03-26 12:31:42 -0500 Report

A1c 8.8% to 6% in 3 months. I am a male 43, I am been Diagnosed in 1st week of Jan 2013, surfaced in my physicals,since it was 204 , Doc ordered for A1c it came up at 8.6%. The worst part is none of my previous 2 generations were diabetic. I was at a optimum weight 156 lbs/5.9 ht. I don't smoke , and a rare alcohol consumer. Anyways while i was put on Metformin 2000mg daily for last 50 days, changed my food habits, jog for 1mile a day. my new results last week revealed my levels are at 124 fasting with A1c 6% , I lost 15lbs. my waist size gone done from 34 to 30.
Need some opinion and advise, how am i doing? how can i regain some weight wile not shooting my glucose levels.

Kirk H
Kirk H 2013-03-26 10:06:29 -0500 Report

I think we all go through this. You will not only feel normal soon, you will start feeling a lot better when you change your diet. I used to get so tired around 2:00 or 3:00 in the afternoon ( after my daily hamburger and fries) I now have so much more energy and have lost a lot of weight, I dont miss things like I used to. I still have my occasional reward, but I dont indulge there often.

jam547
jam547 2013-03-25 18:01:29 -0500 Report

This is exactly how I am feeling right now! I was diagnosed about a month ago as well and even though I am trying my hardest to change my diet it gets so overwhelming right now when I can't even get something as simple as brown rice at a hibachi restaurant. Everyone keeps saying things will get better but I'm ready to feel normal again as well!

NonnieCee
NonnieCee 2013-03-25 12:25:22 -0500 Report

Thanks guys! This encouragement really helps. My husband's father is in the hospital with kidney complications from his diabetes so my husband has been like the Carb Cop! I know he means well but it just seems to make the transition to my new normal that much harder and in my face. I took Nick1962's advice and set myself a goal & reward up. With giving up the sugar and starting to walk, for every ten pounds I lose I'm getting a new and smaller outfit! Those Blizzard's cost me new outfits as I grew bigger so now they can earn me new ones as I leave them behind.

Nick1962
Nick1962 2013-03-25 10:08:50 -0500 Report

It certainly is. For many (myself strongly included), eating is as bad a habit as smoking, drinking or anything else addictive. Good news is you can beat it.
Used to be I had to have my certain before bed snacks every night or my day wasn’t complete. I had to convince myself to just give them up for just one night at first, and yes it was tough. Fast forward a few years and I’m no longer a night time snacker except what I need to keep my morning numbers in line – and sometimes I have to remind myself to do that.

You don’t have to give up that Blizzard forever (I haven’t), just maybe buy one and take a few spoonfulls to stop the craving, and put the rest in the freezer for next week. Maybe even make a game of it and do something to earn those few spoonfulls. In the end you’ll be surprised just how much you eat out of sheer habit rather than hunger or taste.

In my case, I started “mourning” my old life, but now I say good riddance. My new one is so much better!

raccoon mana
raccoon mana 2013-03-25 10:07:41 -0500 Report

youll feel normal again. im recently diagnosed type 2 and the diet change is pure torture! sooo hungry for a disgustingly sweet eclair. but you learn to make adjustments. hang in there. it does get easier. we all have our good days and bad days. go online to see what you can eat or check the app store for diabetic recipes, low carb foods etc. thats what i did. plus being here helps alot

jayabee52
jayabee52 2013-03-25 00:29:49 -0500 Report

It is like grieving in a way, Cee. We often mourn the "normal" way of life we used to know, even if it was unhealthy. It will take a while to get accustomed to our "new normal" but the sooner we do the better it will be.

James

Harlen
Harlen 2013-03-24 21:40:27 -0500 Report

Hello and welcome
It's carb withdraw lol
It's like every thing in life you never like it but live with it
Best wishes
Harlen

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