Newbie living in denial.

By vmdave Latest Reply 2013-03-28 11:49:47 -0500
Started 2013-03-21 17:19:30 -0500

I have type 2 and I have been trying to pretend my diabetes does not exist. I am over weight relatively unhealthy, and perhaps an equitable portion unhappy. I am depressed and lonely, I feel my wife does not understand what I am going through. She feels like I gave my self diabetes like it was a choice on a menu. I take my meds but I try my best not to go to the doctor even when things happen that make me think I should. I tried to lose some weight but ended up injuring my back. I don't know what to do. I I don't know where to start. I am asking for help anything is appreciated.


10 replies

change2013 2013-03-28 11:49:47 -0500 Report

Hello Newbie living in denial…As I was reading your post my heart began to grieve for you. Today I would like to encourage you to give yourself permission to see YOU. Never mind holding on to what is familiar for you (denial). The facts are you have diabetes. Fact two - you are alive and well enough to recognize that you are in denial. Fact three - YOU are NOT your situation. You have the ability to become an expert on your particular situation. Do not let another day go with you refusing to see YOU. One of the first steps you might want to take is: Change what you say about yourself. For example: On March 21st you described yourself as: Newbie living in denial. Today I am encouraging to say: Newbie living my best life. As you become more confident with learning about diabetes and living the best life you can your life will change.

Worrying or stressing about being depressed, over weight, unhappy and seeing yourself as you perceive others see you is unfair to YOU. When do you have time take care of you? Make a commitment with yourself to find one thing positive to say to yourself daily. It's alright if you do not feel like what you are saying. I think, I want, I feel is not always a welcome part of the process. Do it because YOU are worth the effort. Do not let your situation control you - YOU control your situation.

I wish you well…

Lakeland 2013-03-23 19:29:42 -0500 Report

When I was scared I watched every thing I ate & I walked & lost 40 pounds. now I cheat so much I gaiined much of my weight back so I need another wake up call.

when I behaved myself, I made it a science project & tried to have fun with it. I 'd eat then took my blood sugar 2 hours later, I wrote things down & seen what that food did to my numbers, then I'd take a walk & test again & seen what a short walk could do to my numbers. I learned so much & found out that a short walk could drop my numbers by 30= 40 points. I had 4 surgeries so I don't do any arobic exercise.

on thing that helped me was when the nutricionist told me to pick the carb first for meal planning, if you want dessert, then skip bread & pasta when eating. if you want the bread then skp dessert,pasta. if choosing a carb try to get on where the fiber number listed on the packaging is greater than 4. make sure you are eating protien & less low fiber carbs. I found "sandwich thins" some had higer fiber & that just makes the body work harder to turn those carbs into sugar. so it just won't spike your numbers. I used them for toast & breads for sandwiches. I did good on those.

after she explained that I realized how badly I was eating, i.e. cerial, milk, toast, juice. were all carbs no wonder I was so high after breakfast, now I do eggs, the small link sausage, thoese sandwich thins as my bread. I'm eating more with less calories & much less carbs.

my sugar was 550 now I'm rarely over 220.

I wish you luck. try to find something to help you dive into this & not be too scared of it. if you take charge you'll be able to do things about your numbers, but if you don't your numbers are there whether you like it or not & it will effect your eyesight, kidneys, and nerves. One thing nice with diabetes Is you can do something about it.

best wishes

vmdave 2013-03-23 17:12:02 -0500 Report

Thank you so much everyone after an incredible bad week of depression I saw a therapist she was actually very helpful. As was everyone's comments. I am starting to exercise slowly and I am trying to adjust what I eat a little bit at a time. My wife continues to tell me that I am doing it all wrong. But I know enough about me to know if I try to change everything cold turkey I will fail. I am making changes a little at a time. Thanks for your help.

Kirla 2013-03-23 08:44:09 -0500 Report

When diagnosed my fasting blood sugar was 366 and A1C was 14.1. I made lots of changes to my diet and my blood sugar came down close to normal numbers in less than 2 months. Over the first 4-5 months I lost 50 pounds.

Then over the next 3 years I gained a little weight every year. It wasn’t much but over 3-4 years I managed to gain the 50 pounds back. Last year my numbers started to slowly rise month after month. My fasting blood sugar went from an average of about 85 to over 100 most days. My after meal spikes used to stay less than 30 points from where they were before I ate, most of the time they were even less than that. But after gaining the weight I was getting spikes of 60 to 70 points after eating.

For over 3 years my A1C stayed below 6. Last December I tested my A1C at 6.5. At this time I decided to lose some weight. I started to track my calories on the sparkpeople nutrient analyzer. I decided that eating between 1800 and 2200 calories a day is what I needed to eat. Most days it comes closer to the 2200 than the 1800, but I slowly started to lose a little weight. As I lost some weight my blood sugar readings started to come down. Now most days my fasting blood sugar is somewhere in the 90’s and my after meal spikes rarely goes above 140. I noticed when my BMI got below 30 my blood sugar control got a lot better.

I don’t even exercise. At work I got about a 10 minute walk from the parking lot to my classroom. That’s 10 minutes in and 10 minutes out. That’s about all the exercise I get. If your like me and overweight you might want to start out slow. I have read posts from lots and lots of people who have had great success with just walking. Many start out with a short walk and slowly over time add more and more distance to their walks.

This is what I believe helped me a lot in losing weight and gaining control of my blood sugar 4 years ago. I have read that lots of people have had great success with lower carb diets. They worked for me. They may or may not be right for you. But I believe cutting back on high carb starchy foods should help most people.

Feb 2009 I was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. Started to eat a salad every day at supper. Also started to eat lots of low carb vegetables like broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, cucumbers, spinach, pickles and sauerkraut. Started to drink 8+ glasses of water every day.

I then bought a meter and started to test my blood sugar before and after each meal. At first I was testing 2 hours after each meal and when my numbers dropped a lot I started testing 1 hour after meals. I was testing 5-7 times a day. I cut back or eliminated foods that spiked my blood sugar more than 50 points after eating.

By testing I found that foods like bread and most foods made of grains along with pasta, rice, corn, potatoes, oatmeal, cereals, chips, crackers, cakes, cookies, candy, soda, fruits, fruit juices, milk and most foods that contain more than 5-6 net carbs per serving as found on the package label all spiked my blood sugar. Some people can cut back on these foods and some people like me have to stop eating them.

After about 6-8 weeks my blood sugar readings were almost normal levels.

I found by reducing and eliminating high carb starchy foods helped me a lot. By adding small amounts of chicken, beef, pork or a hard boiled egg to my meals helped reduce blood sugar spikes also.

Good luck

Acousins 2013-03-22 14:52:29 -0500 Report

Face that you have diabetes and get educated about it… Fine support and get moving little by little dont give up on things… it takes a while for some to get it about diabetes… Good Luck

Gwen214 2013-03-21 23:12:11 -0500 Report

Well, the first step is to admit your in denial. Next, do something about it. I'm depress and have anxiety, but I hate being in this state. I want out, so taking baby steps, to move upward and forward. I'm a Type 1 and for 27 years. I've lost motivation somewhere. your not alone about being depress about having this disease. And yes, you will have people close to you who will not understand, especially when they don't have it. Communication is the key. Let her know, we women can't read minds, even though we claim to…LOL. When you go to the doctor or endocrinologist, ask her to come with you, and she can ask the doctor questions.

Harlen 2013-03-21 22:47:59 -0500 Report

Yep Ben there done that
With all that WILL go wrong if you don't take care of it ,All I had to do was think of my kids and grand kids do I wish to see them grow up???
It's hard and frustrating to keep D in check but its for them that I do.
First cut the carbs way back count carbs ,keep a old of your #s and what you eat as well as how much of each thing you eat this will help you and your doc to work with D
Best wishes

Harlen 2013-03-21 22:47:58 -0500 Report

Yep Ben there done that
With all that WILL go wrong if you don't take care of it ,All I had to do was think of my kids and grand kids do I wish to see them grow up???
It's hard and frustrating to keep D in check but its for them that I do.
First cut the carbs way back count carbs ,keep a old of your #s and what you eat as well as how much of each thing you eat this will help you and your doc to work with D
Best wishes

95ncountin 2013-03-21 22:10:15 -0500 Report

Wow. I know exactly how you are feeling. My daughter looks at me with that censuring look that says, "if only you hadn't eaten the M&Ms, you wouldn't have diabetes." I'm working really hard on staying true to what's important to me. But This whole thing is depressing. I don't have any answers for you. I just know that we need to keep on keeping on. Feel better soon.

DeeDee Bug
DeeDee Bug 2013-03-21 22:24:45 -0500 Report

I do understand what both of you are saying I am a 5th generation diabetic I use to watch my grandmother eat to understand more, she told me portion control is the key but don't starve your self and don't deny yourself, she use to take a bite of birthday cake just to fit in a spoon of ice cream or look at the sugar content in the m&m's and take out a few to enjoy not saying this is for everyone talk to your doctor of course but this is what my grandma did not all the time, but it kept her going and lived a long life till she got cancer. So good luck to everyone trust me when I tell you diabetes is not an easy disease to live with, I wish everyone luck and feel better, my prayers go out to you all…

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