dealing with teeage daughters?

tinkerbell54
By tinkerbell54 Latest Reply 2014-04-04 01:44:51 -0500
Started 2013-03-13 11:16:34 -0500

I have 1 teeage daughter who is 16 on the national honor society . & she is learing to drive our family van. But my stress is my daughter Rain. When she was little we were best friends. Now she thinks she is parent & i am her child. She treats me like i am one that does not have a brain.there days she treats me with no respect. & iam to put as she say just put on my big girl pants and deal with. this my stress? I need help with any one who has teeage daughter ? tinkerbell54


9 replies

MrMonteno
MrMonteno 2014-04-04 01:44:51 -0500 Report

Tinkerbell, it sounds that like at some point boundaries were crossed, which led your daughter to continue to push you further until it became out of control. I would suggest to not allow her to manipulate you and limit her freedoms, such as driving the van until she straightens out. Enforce the rules and just shove back!

red flower lady
red flower lady 2013-03-18 00:37:07 -0500 Report

Well, all you can do is tell her you will not allow her to speak/treat you in a disrespectful way, but that you are willing to listen and talk to her. Are you the diabetic, if so, is she having to do alot for you? She may feel like she has to be in charge and is overwhelmed. If she is the diabetic, then she has that to add to all the other issues all teenagers go through and that isn't easy.

Teenagers try to make all parents crazy at times, it's their mission, haha. But, you will get through it. Take a deep breath and make sure she has guidelines to follow.

Anonymous
Anonymous 2013-03-13 14:22:12 -0500 Report

First, sorry your having troubles with your teenager, but we all have them as that IS what teenagers do. Second, this site is for diabetic support, not for info on how to raise children. Please feel free to ask any questions about diabetes, and please update your profile on you or family member who has it and what type. That way we can serve you better here. If you don't have it someone here can point you in the right direction to address your concerns.

jayabee52
jayabee52 2013-03-14 17:50:59 -0500 Report

I beg to differ Anon.

This site is about ALL of life with diabetes the good and the bad. Tink is being stressed by her daughter and Tink's Blood Glucose (BG) levels may be adversely affected by said stress.

In my 4+ yrs here, I have participated in many discussions on this site which were definitely not related to diabetes directly. Nobody complained, and the only complaint on this discussion post so far has been yours. So far all (except this one) has been sympathetic and trying to help her come to grips with her concern.

And since you are on Tink for lack of info on her profile, it seems incongrous that YOU are posting Anonymously. You can undo that by clicking on your edit link for the above post and uncheck the box which says "post anonymously"

James

jayabee52
jayabee52 2013-03-13 13:03:44 -0500 Report

I replied to your later posting and here is a copy of that reply:

Howdy Tink

Relationships with teenagers are usually troubled with the parental figures. Teens are in transition between the generally complient years before puberty to their adult selves into which they are growing.

I have heard psychologists refer to these years as being brain damaged, because the synaptic connections which have been made in the pre-teen years gets severed and rewired differently.

Do you remember your adolescent years? I kinda remember mine and I wouldn't want to go back to that time of confusing upheval in my life.

I suspect that Rain will challenge you and seek to get her autonomy as a person. The challenge for parents is to give them some structure for their lives so they don't get too messed up in their lives yet not hold on too tight so they have freedom to grow into the mature person they are becoming. Hold too tightly and a parent sets everyone up for frustration and anger.

It is a "3 steps forward, 2 steps back" process a lot of the time. It is said that the teenager becomes a mature person at approximately age 25 or so.

I pray you are able to give Rain "roots and wings" Roots to let Rain know that you love her more than life itself. Wings to give them the freedom to become the person into which they eventually will grow.

At the end I pray you will end up with a good child as well as a good friend.

James Baker

(raised 3 sons — only 1 is still under 25)

Nick1962
Nick1962 2013-03-13 12:36:58 -0500 Report

Well, mine’s 27 now and a stepdaughter to boot. Yup, they think because they’ve mastered everything up to their point in life, have no trouble adapting to what we call new technology, and know things we didn’t at their age they have the world by the tail. We have something called “experience”, and life still has to beat some of those lessons into them. Like their first job rejection, their first failed relationship or divorce, their first stint at life on a tight (or no) budget, age and lifestyle related illness, and everything else that made us get to where we are now.
Things will turn for the better, but right now it’s more out of your hands and in the hands of the rest of the world to teach those lessons we’ve already learned. Part of you will be feeling sorry for her having to suffer some of them, but another part will secretly be glad she is. It will change and one day she’ll realize you weren’t as dumb as she thought, but it’s going to be a while. All you can do now is just smile and think “one day you’ll have kids of your own honey”.

raccoon mana
raccoon mana 2013-03-13 11:26:50 -0500 Report

i dont have a teenager anymore. but when my son hit his teens… OMG! i wanted to sell him. talk about moody! just let her know you love her no matter what. there will come a time when she needs her mom to be there for her. just have faith.

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