Can't seem to get out of this funk...

KG66
By KG66 Latest Reply 2013-02-21 00:56:20 -0600
Started 2013-02-15 11:59:41 -0600

I can't seem to feel happy at all lately. I try and do hobbies that I loved before I got diagnosed with Diabetes and Depression but I just don't enjoy them. The only little piece of happiness I seem to get is when I'm out with my boyfriend. My parents don't seem to listen and understand how I feel. I've been on a leave of absence for about 4 months and every time I find something I want to do (work or school) my parents don't seem to encourage. They seem more concerned about my nephew and his parents. I can't stand this anymore. I just want to give up but I know that will just make things worse for everyone. Has anyone ever felt so alone even in a room full of people? That's how I feel everyday. I'm really starting to lose all hope…


30 replies

Starwalker
Starwalker 2013-02-21 00:56:20 -0600 Report

Hi KG66, How are you doing? I'm hoping that your not being able to feel happy at all lately has eased up. I understand what you are saying. . . . I have Type II diabetes & depression and as I saw in one of the other posts this time of year I have SAD, too. I am finally on an anti depression med that is helping me but it has taken my doc awhile to find one that works for me. So hang on and continue to work with your doc till your find the one that works for you. My other best help is my faith and my relationship with Jesus. Don't ever loose hope. . . our Lord Jesus is always there for you and He will bring the people that can help you into your life, just ask Him and trust that He will. He has already brought you to this site and put you in touch with a lot of caring and helpful people. I'm new here myself but in my short time I have already found friends and help. So keep trying and keep reaching out to the people here and to Jesus and enjoy your time with your boyfriend. It may take time but it will get better. . . . . .I know as I've been there. I still have "bad" days from time to time but they aren't as bad as they were or as frequent. It just takes time and yes I know it is hard but, we're all here to help you. If i don't have an answer for you someone else here will. . . . just ask, OK? Starwalker

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2013-02-19 13:45:45 -0600 Report

I am guessing you are in your late teens? If you are, then sometimes you need to take steps inspite of your parents. If you are younger, that becomes more difficult I am 58. I know now that I have had depression all my life as well as SAD. Of course back then, my parents didn't have a clue, neither did I. I was about 38 when I was Rxed with depression and SAD. The doctor was surprised that I was not upset. I told him, "No, actually I am very happy to hear that. For the first time in my life my mental condition has been identified. Before this I just thought that I (or everyone else) was just off the beaten path. I see below you are 18! I have done well on meds, but it took 5 years to find out which one worked and which ones didn't. Mom & Dad obviously know about your diabetes. How about your depression? sometimes that word scares people away, even parents. It isn't like a cold where you wait it out or treat it and it is all better. You will be dealing with both of these for a lifetime, more than likely, and I am glad to see you addressing tthe stuff now. I missed out on a lot of my life just because I was spending my time and energy trying to survive it mentally. I am reasonably happy with my life now. 2 grown daughters (you and my oldest look like twins!), 2 grand children. Stay plugged into your life and always chose healing. Jim

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2013-02-19 11:47:43 -0600 Report

Hey girl, we belong to the same clubs! D & D. I do not have time right now for a long post, but remember, this time of year triggers SAD, very often a partner with depression and depending where you live it "attacks" in October-Novemeber and leaves in April-May. It is not there all the time, but when it is, I know it. I mostly try to ride it out. Oh, and remmber, I do not think parents have ever understood their teen age kids! That mutual understanding may start about 25! Of course, I was the exception, the perfect parent! Go ahead, laugh, I am sure my kids would! They say I did pretty good, which brings me delight. Take care.

Tony5657
Tony5657 2013-02-19 06:37:22 -0600 Report

KG66, you have received some monumental postings of encouragement here from wonderful people. Hey, I have been encouraged and blessed in reading them. I can't really add anything to what's already been said except for this one phrase that continues to return to me, “It is easier to act yourself into a new way of thinking, than it is to think yourself into a new way of acting.” That tells me to "Get myself off "me arse" and DO something rather than wallowing in negative thoughts, which only takes me deeper into dark depression.

Please understand that in my comments here, I'm not accusing you of anything negative nor am I criticizing you in any way. I've had more than my share of depression and the following is what's working in my life. I simply want to share some things I've experienced, hoping I might help you. :o)

I exercise, I tackle and complete a dreaded, challenging task (like my income tax). I pray and ask God to bring to my mind something I can DO to help me overcome my "blah" feeling and He always does. I also read self help, motivational, inspirational books like the following ones:

1. A modern English version of the Bible (New International Version) starting with the New Testament - Matthew.
2. "The Tools" by Phil Stutz & Barry Michels
3. "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise L. Hay.

You can overcome depression or any other negative emotion. These comments you've received, are giving you some valuable "tools" that you can use in defeating depression. Keep them sharpened and ready for use. You can do this.

Tony5657 in New Braunfels, TX

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2013-02-18 19:29:54 -0600 Report

Hi KG66,

It is always sad for me to read discussions from members who don't seem to be getting much support from their families. Living with a chronic condition like diabetes can feel like a lonely road when the other people in your house aren't teaming up with you.

But you also said that you have been diagnosed with depression. It is not uncommon for people living with diabetes to also be diagnosed with depression. And in your discussion, you mentioned some classic symptoms of depression -- not enjoying things you used to enjoy, feeling sad instead of happy, feeling isolated from other people. Depression is a treatable condition.

I am wondering now if you are receiving any treatment for depression. I am assuming your doctor diagnosed you. If so, did he/she recommend a treatment? Medication? A referral to a therapist? I had the impression from reading your post that you are not getting any treatment.

Have you talked to your doctor about treatment for depression?

I would really encourage you to also reach out to a mental health professional if you haven't already. Talking to a counselor could help you to get some perspective on what's going on with you and your family, and learn some new ways to cope with the challenges in your life. You might ask your doctor if he/she has a counselor they would recommend. If you have insurance, then see who is covered by your insurance company. Or look into community resources. Again, depression is a treatable condition.

It's hard when our families don't seem to understand us, and don't seem to try. One of the facts of life is that we can't control how other people choose to think or behave, we can't force people to be supportive, as much as we would like them to be.

What you do have control over is taking the best possible care of yourself. Get support. Spend time with the people in your life who can be supportive. Set some small self-care goals for yourself. Ask your boyfriend to give you encouragement to take positive steps in your life. Reach out to other people who can be on your team. And again, get some help with your depression.

You sound like a great person, with a great future ahead of you. Don't go thorugh this alone.

Stay in touch with us. Let us know what's going on with you.

Gary

KG66
KG66 2013-02-18 20:29:18 -0600 Report

My doctor had tried me with 2 medications that both made me feel sick

KG66
KG66 2013-02-18 20:30:30 -0600 Report

I have also been seeing a counselor about once a month, sometimes more often depending on how bad things have been.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2013-02-19 12:57:30 -0600 Report

Hi KG, it's good to know that you are seeing a counselor. Some people have better luck tolerating the medications than others. But I am glad you are getting some counseling. And I hope you are getting a lot of emotional support from people who can be there for you. We all need support. I hope you will stay in touch with us. Gary

Linda crutch
Linda crutch 2013-02-17 10:43:16 -0600 Report

Keep up the activity and don't give up. I can tell you this from experience. You can't let the depression get you down. Try a variation of your crafts/hobbies. Join a group with your hobbies. I make jewelry and the local shop lets you work on projects there, so check into that. Good luck and be positive.

Blueheeler
Blueheeler 2013-02-16 13:03:49 -0600 Report

Please call me. John ***-***-****

jayabee52
jayabee52 2013-02-16 13:11:29 -0600 Report

for your own safety and security, John, it is recommended you do not put your email address or your phone number or your address into an online forum such as this. People from outside DC can read whatever we put here on the discussion boards.

If you want to exchange phone numbers or addresses, you could invite KG to be a friend and once KG accepts, you can use the Private mail system to exchange info without fear of someone else intercepting it.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2013-02-15 17:55:44 -0600 Report

Hi KG, I agree with Gabby. Do what you want to do. Become what you want to become. You may be very successful. However, I also think you have put yourself in competition with your nephew and his parents. I learned a long time ago not to expect too much encouragement from my parents. If my sister got an "A" in school she was praised. If I got an "A" they simply said "good". One day towards the end of High School, my guidance counselor told me to never depend on the encouragement or approval of others because if you do, you will be working hard to please others instead of yourself. He was correct. Took almost a decade for that to sink in.

If there is something you want to do, sometimes all you have to do is, just do it. Don't wait for someone to say it is okay or expect praises for accomplishing something. As long as you know you were successful that is the most important thing. This teaches you that you don't need approval to be all that you choose to be in life

Go out and buy a journal and start writing about your day, your hobbies, your feelings, or anything you choose. List all of you good qualities and your bad ones. You will find the good list is longer.

Create a bucket list of things you want to do and work towards scratching them off your list. Five years from now if you look back at that journal, you might say OMG was that really me? Good luck to you.

KG66
KG66 2013-02-15 19:42:55 -0600 Report

Thank you! I've been writing in a journal off and on since I was about 15. I can almost see where I started to fall. I like the bucket list Idea. I think I might work on that now! :)

Gabby
GabbyPA 2013-02-18 08:47:50 -0600 Report

I have a bucket list and it keeps changing as I cross things off. It's a lot of fun and when you look back and all the cool things you have done, no one can take those memories away. They are yours forever and will get you through some dark times.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2013-02-16 17:46:30 -0600 Report

Great if you know where you started to fall, you can work towards solving some of the problems. You can also see what you need to do to get past this and move on to bigger and brighter things.

My bucket list has St. Pertersburg and the Kremlin on it as well as buying something from Harrods an Alaskan Cruise and a return trip to Hawaii.

Set apart
Set apart 2013-02-15 16:27:55 -0600 Report

Hi there, well as you'll notice my name on DC is Set Apart, when I was first diagnoed with D, I felt exactly like that suddenly I felt like I didn't belong, like everyone was there and I had suddenly been placed apart from the rest of the world. Not so, since then I took the bull by the horns, having T1 has been the roughest time of my life, but I live and I live every day. Yeah I still have days where I just want to give up, where's the hope. The hope is in living a happy life, a healthy life, enjoying life! I love to sew, read, listen to music, watch chick flicks, watch the snow falling, listen to a thunderstorm and especially I love my faith and my relationship with my God. Take time to enjoy your life, find yourself, and although sometimes we are alone, we have to just do things by ourselves, because it's for US that we are fighting for! Don't ever lose hope!!!!

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2013-02-15 17:57:14 -0600 Report

I love reading your post Set. Very insightful. I agree the hope is to live a happy, healthy life. Sometimes when I do things by myself, I find I am my own best company.

Set apart
Set apart 2013-02-16 07:26:53 -0600 Report

Joyce I totally agree, I am around people all week, so usually weekends are for me and my husband. I love to be in my house even if it's cleaning, I have music on, write my lists of what I want to accomplish. At the end of the day I read over what I was able to complete. I've learned to relax a little about life, and no longer beat myself over what doesn't get done!

Gabby
GabbyPA 2013-02-15 13:20:37 -0600 Report

Perhaps a little rebellion is in order?
What I mean is this. If you want to do something and you don't seem to have the encouragement you seek, do it to spite them then. Anything to get you going and doing again. I know when I get down, I don't feel like doing anything and it takes a truck to get me going. But, if I have a lot to do and deadlines to meet, I am way more productive and I feel better and I will take on more things.

Dania224
Dania224 2013-02-15 12:43:27 -0600 Report

So sorry you are feeling this way! Perhaps we can be supportive to each other…I have been very depressed and then on top of the depression my father passed away 2 months ago driving me into a deeper place of sorrow

KG66
KG66 2013-02-15 12:46:45 -0600 Report

So sorry to here about your father! :( I can't even imagine going through that and depression! :(

Dania224
Dania224 2013-02-15 13:00:43 -0600 Report

Thanks, it has been tough but I know I need to climb my way out…what are your days looking like? what do you think would help you out of the funk?

KG66
KG66 2013-02-15 13:06:47 -0600 Report

I try and get out as often as I can. I get up at about 9am and try and go out but where I live there isn't much to do. I think what would help me would be to get a job or something. My doctor agrees however that working with customers isn't good for my stress levels. So I started looking at courses and I found 1 I am interested in but I'm not getting the kind of support I would like from my parents to get started.

Dania224
Dania224 2013-02-15 14:46:22 -0600 Report

What kind of course? It is tough when you seek the "outside" support. How old are you? I will be 37 on the 24th.
Yes, getting put of the house is helpful. Where do you live? I live on Long Island in NY

KG66
KG66 2013-02-15 19:39:36 -0600 Report

It's for dog grooming! :P Something I've always been interested in! I'm 18, I live just north of Barrie Ontario in Canada. I'm surrounded by cottages at my house and it get's pretty quiet here in the winter!

jayabee52
jayabee52 2013-02-15 12:18:32 -0600 Report

Yes I have been there, done that. I was depressed off and on throughout my early teens through my mid 50's. So sorry you are going through this

Next Discussion: Doctor Visit »