Sometimes I just want to.....

MAYS
By MAYS Latest Reply 2013-02-13 05:42:57 -0600
Started 2013-02-04 20:00:15 -0600

Scream and give it all up!

Maybe it's just me, but the repetition is beginning to bore me after all of these years, the constant testing, measuring, documenting, exercising, reading, etc…I liked things better when it was all automatic!

I know that ($#!*) happens, but did it really have to be this?
But then again, it could have been worse!

Now that that outburst is over with, it's back to the business of managing my diabetes and my life, but if you hear a loud noise, don't be alarmed, it's just me screaming at the top of my lungs!

Maybe it will make me feel a little bit better!
Maybe…


56 replies

Ms. DAT
Ms. DAT 2013-02-09 22:19:01 -0600 Report

I hope you are feeling better now that you got your holla out! Don't feel bad.

MAYS
MAYS 2013-02-11 15:15:39 -0600 Report

Thank you!
I am feeling rather well, just a little tired of the same old routine, but then again i don't get tired of breathing, do i?…lol.

Barbera
Barbera 2013-02-09 17:30:45 -0600 Report

I am new to the community but would like thank every one for developing a site where we can vent should the need arise. That said, I would like to add my two cents on the subject of screaming and giving up. First, I have been a diabetic for nearly 20 years and have felt many times the need to scream as I went from a diet controlled Type 2 diabetic through the stages to the point I require multiple insulin injections to keep my numbers where they need to be. But over the years, I have discovered that the only way to stay sane is to accept the inevitable, pick myself up and find the way to cope and make it work. I find I can not give up as I have family who depends on me to keep them all on track. I have a sister living with us who suffers from stage 4 lung disease, a daughter who is doing her best to raise 3 children despite having learning disabilities, and last but not least, a daughter who sufferers from stage 4 brain cancer. I know I am no better than anyone one else, but compared to them my illness is minute compared to what they go through. Thanks for letting me post.

MAYS
MAYS 2013-02-11 15:13:49 -0600 Report

The one "sweet" thing about diabetes is that it can be managed by the person who has it!

Lizardfan
Lizardfan 2013-02-07 12:58:34 -0600 Report

Funny I should find your post today! I too, am just a tad bit tired of all these things we have to do to take care of ourselves. It does get monotonous and I will scream it out with the rest of you!

Tony5657
Tony5657 2013-02-07 09:11:55 -0600 Report

Hey Mays,

I believe that fear, anxiety, worry, depression, physical and mental fatigue, stress, anger, negative thinking, un-forgiveness & wanting to give up are normal and OK for awhile, but just don't camp there too long. That can lead to nothing good. It leads to exactly the opposite, a worse situation, mentally & physically. Venting is also OK but again, staying there too long is a killer. I copied the following from the Johns Hopkins Health System site at http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/the_johns_hopk...

The article was about "cancer" treatments & prevention BUT we can substitute "diabetes" for "cancer" in the following. The parentheses are mine:

"Cancer (Diabetes) is a disease of the mind, body, and spirit.
A proactive and positive spirit will help the cancer (Diabetes) warrior
be a survivor. Anger, un-forgiveness and bitterness put
the body into a stressful and acidic environment. Learn to
have a loving and forgiving spirit. Learn to relax and enjoy life."

Hang in there, my friend, … live long & prosper! We can dooooooooo it! :o)

Tony5657 in New Braunfels, TX

Tony5657
Tony5657 2013-02-08 05:12:46 -0600 Report

Mays,

Thanks to John Crowley, I learned the above mentioned "cancer" update I found in the Johns Hopkins website is a hoax and was not published or endorsed by Johns Hopkins. Do not follow that link. Please see the following

Johns Hopkins link.
http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/news/media/rel...;
I'm new to their site and mistakenly thought they had stricter controls over postings that claimed to be from Johns Hopkins and appeared to be valid. I have learned otherwise and am VERY frustrated & disappointed. However, since sugar definitely can be physically harmful, just like being overweight, not exercising, having a negative mental state, being stressed out, etc., common sense tells me that we all should do our best to gain control in these areas. Lifestyle changes may well be necessary BUT many find those more difficult than trusting in some man-made "magic bullet", something artificial & possibly full of man-made chemicals. We should all use caution in consuming anything man-made /
"artificial."

Also, all of us, me especially, should do our best in researching things like this so we will accept and follow ONLY what is valid. I thought I did just that, but I was misled and hope I haven't misled others. Again, my thanks go to John Crowley who caught this erroneous posting of mine. :o)

MAYS
MAYS 2013-02-08 09:55:46 -0600 Report

Tony, don't take it so hard or persomal your intent was good and sincere and we appreciate it, together both you, and John, helped to uncover a hoax and bring that information forward to others thereby creating something "positive" out of something "negative" and that is such a good thing!

Thanks for the information as well as the update!

Mays

alanbossman
alanbossman 2013-02-06 06:17:15 -0600 Report

I agree Mays I think we all wish our diabetes would take a vacation and hope it never returns. But you know as well I do its just a wish and we all come back to realize its still there and every day we fight to try and kept our numbers normal. So scream out loud and I well also scream out loud.
Alan

teacherspet
teacherspet 2013-02-05 19:54:25 -0600 Report

My diabetic educator told me on our first visit about 6 months ago, that I was not diabetes, I should not define myself by my numbers, but as a woman, a wife, a mother, an artist, a writer and any other wonderful attributes I had. Success is not determined by a wonderful A1C or great numbers everyday, success is determined by the life you live, and how you live it. Somedays you are up and somedays you are down, somedays you laugh your way through the day and others, you cry or scream. But you are who you are, not what numbers you bring up.

MAYS
MAYS 2013-02-05 21:01:50 -0600 Report

Honestly, i have mastered my diabetes very well over the years with great results in spite of two surgeries and being a vegetarian, i was just a little annoyed at my high numbers throughout the day while battling a severe infection that was trying to mature into something else!
Other than that, i am fine, my diabetes just took advantage of a moment of weakness on my behalf!

teacherspet
teacherspet 2013-02-05 19:04:14 -0600 Report

I'm with you. Sometimes I want to scream, throw every thing that has anything to do with diabetes in the garbage and move along as it if didn't exist So I have my tantrum, think of where I could be if I did that, and come around on the brighter side of life,

MAYS
MAYS 2013-02-05 19:26:37 -0600 Report

I would be satisfied if it (my diabetes) would like to go on a long vacation without me!

Gabby
GabbyPA 2013-02-05 18:13:53 -0600 Report

may I scream with you? Maybe together we could make some good music? LOL

I get disgusted with my testing and trying to cut the carbs on a budget. I totally get your feeling. And then, like you we just have to get over that bump and press on.

MAYS
MAYS 2013-02-05 19:23:32 -0600 Report

Let's have a screaming contest, the winner becomes diabetes free!
On a good day, i don't mind the testing but on a bad day it reminds me of having teeth extracted, something i could live without!

Gabby
GabbyPA 2013-02-06 16:05:12 -0600 Report

I hear you on that one. Testing is one of my biggest let downs. I try to do the right things and take my meds and so on...and I still get high numbers. It makes me want to quit. But I don't, because I don't want to get worse, so I keep on trying. Screaming does help though.

Mair
Mair 2013-02-05 16:55:58 -0600 Report

Mays: Cheer up, believe me I feel like you do from time to time, diabetic burn out. then i count my blessings that there are som many people willing to help.
I also get out my frustration by taking a hammer to my insulin pod when the alarm doesn't shut off lol

jayabee52
jayabee52 2013-02-05 15:07:57 -0600 Report

I don't want to say "I am glad that happens to you too" but you seem so cool and unflappable in your life with diabetes. We humans all have those times when our diabetes regimen bugs us.

You are allowed to let your "mask" slip every now and again!

Just as long as you don't fall off the wagon too long! I would like to see you around for a long time!

MAYS
MAYS 2013-02-05 19:18:36 -0600 Report

Thanks for the kind words, and i hope to be around for a long time, God willing!
This discussion came about as a result of a blood glucose reading of 365 that stayed around for a few hours causing me a severe headache, it was all due to an infection that i was fighting off (a cold) and i didn't like how i was feeling and i didn't want to increase my insulin dosage, my physical activity was limited and i couldn't sleep, what a bad combination but i eventually got over it.

For all of the advice that i give to others, i couldn't convince myself to listen to me, but i am glad that i have you, and my "DC" family to pick me up when i am feeling down, and that means so much to me!
"Hugs"

Nana_anna
Nana_anna 2013-02-05 12:50:49 -0600 Report

That's allowed to happen! I have these ups and downs to. Best thing is to stay positive. Find an activity that boost your energy level, gives you hope, and something to look forward to. I do exercises, crocheting that keeps me preoccupied for hours. Reading a good romance novel helps. Do something inspiring for others. I know when I have these spouts, I have them, and then its done. But I have to do something, so it won't eat me alive! Hugs to you!

MAYS
MAYS 2013-02-05 19:10:42 -0600 Report

I always remain positive no matter what happens in life!
Most of my life has been spent helping others, and i have no complaints about doing so, sometimes i wish that me and my diabetes weren't such close companions, or that we could vacation apart from one another, but that would probably create a void in my life at this point..Lol…Hugs to you also!

Set apart
Set apart 2013-02-05 05:54:55 -0600 Report

I know exactly what you mean, for example yesterday BG reading 109 was stored we had traveled all ay went 2 hours away to purchase our foods at the military base. Exhausted made me a half sandwich with turkey low sodium, baby carrots, etc. No bread only carb chopper tortillas. An hour later I was really high 159, what happened! Times like these I just want to eat anything, seems like sometimes I can't control this monster!!!!!!! Okay venting, gotta exercise!

MAYS
MAYS 2013-02-05 19:06:23 -0600 Report

Please vent for me!
I know that feeling of doing everything right and having numbers that disappoint leaving questions that cannot be answered..I hope that the exercise session has brought you better numbers, if not let out a scream for all of us diabetics!…Lol.

JSJB
JSJB 2013-02-05 03:47:54 -0600 Report

I know just how you feel and I am only doing it for a little over a year. Like you said it could be worse. At least we can have some control over this condition.

Next Discussion: New »