By KE5ICS Latest Reply 2013-02-27 04:10:21 -0600
Started 2013-01-25 14:07:05 -0600

How do you handle not getting support from your spouse having T1 or T2. I have a pump that my spouse did not want to discuss with me nor did she want to me to have it.

6 replies

Fefe12 2013-02-27 04:10:21 -0600 Report

I'm so sorry. I've been blessed with a husband who goes to every doc trip. every hospital visit. Make sure she knows just how serious this is and how much you need her by your side. She could be afraid. Take her to a doc visit ,let her ask questions. Is she afriad of intimacy? Of future children? A pump is an everyday reminder of your disease. Shooting insulin can be done in private and she can't see. You need to talk to her, gently as possible and find answers to your questions. Good luck.

ShellyLargent 2013-01-25 15:29:43 -0600 Report

Did she give a reason as to why she was opposed to you having a pump? My husband and I just had a major blow-up over getting my new pump. I had been on an older Animas pump and he wanted me to stay on it, since it would cost less. I wanted the Omni Pod system. We went back and forth for a little while until it finally just exploded. He's always looked at my diabetes care and supplies from the monetary POV. Never even thought about what I wanted, needed, or was best for me. $$$ was all he could see. And he's never really been supportive in my diabetes. I used to go to classes/support group that was sponsered by Animas. He went to acouple with me, but then stopped because he was bored with it. I stopped going after a while because it hurt too much to see all the other people with their spouses and mine couldn't be bothered. I tried to get him to "act" diabetic for 1 week: test multiple times, inject saline (got OK from our family doc and even the supplies), and restrict his diet. He flat refused, stating just because I had to, didn't mean he needed to… Empathy for others was not his strongest trait… All this and all the hurt feelings and resentments finally came to the surface and I gave him the choice: start being supportive or I find someone else who will. He's much better now, still has his moments and I still have to nudge him in directions I want him to go in, but I finally was able to get him to see that having diabetes has an emotional aspect as well and it's also not just all about the $$$. I also got my Omni Pod…

jayabee52 2013-01-25 14:31:53 -0600 Report

I am wondering if your relationship with your spouse has been solid all this time.

I know my first wife found my dealing with diabetes difficult because of MY unwillingness to care for myself for my diabetes. She had to ask me to take care of my diabetes in front of our pastor at the time and threatened to divorce me if I didn't start taking my Met. I did and she backed off on the threat. HOWEVER, our relationship was shakey even before that due to some difficulties I experienced in my work life. I had to quit that line of work which meant she had to give up being a full time mom and "suzie homemaker".

I got back on the medication and we were OK on that for 3 or 4 yrs. Then there was some other issues that came up and she finally DID ask for the divorce. When friends asked why she used diabetes as one of the reasons. She said she was afraid I'd stop taking care of myself again, and that I would get complications and then she'd be stuck needing to care for me (like her mom had been stuck caring for her ailing dad).

So I wonder what is going on in her head which would cause her to oppose you getting a pump and taking care of yourself?

Type1Lou 2013-01-25 14:23:01 -0600 Report

I started using a pump in 2011. My husband wasn't really keen on my getting one despite having had to deal with my repeated low BG's but I went ahead with it anyway and haven't regretted it. My control is better and the hypoglycemic episodes have greatly diminished. While the total support of your spouse would be a boon, I would encourage you to continue to manage your diabetes as best you can. If your using a pump results in a better quality of life for you (and her?), she may be more amenable to discussing it later. I wish you both well.

KE5ICS 2013-01-25 14:29:44 -0600 Report

Well all I can really say is despite the negativity it has greatly improved so much in my life along with great control.

Next Discussion: Fillin weak sometime »