It's been a while since I've been on this site. I'll be hanging out a bit more often. 2012 was the worst year of my life. My mom died last January. My brother-in-law, who was married to my sister for over 30 years committed suicide the end of April. My husband had what we thought was a stroke the first part of April. Turned out to be a brain tumor that blew up, basically. A PET scan and other tests showed he had malignant metestatic melanoma and it was in almost every vital organ. After months of fighting it, he passed away December 15. He was at home and I was holding his hand when he took his last breath. So my family lost 3 of our people in 2012. Not to mention a good friend who died 2 months before Jimmy of leukemia. He had battled it for 17 years. 2012 can burn in hell. Please God, let 2013 be better.
So needless to say, taking care of myself was not even on my to do list last year. I have an appointment next week with my GP. Going Thursday to the vampires so he can yell at me when I get to the appt. I'm sure my A1C is through the roof, but I really have no idea what it would be. We bought a new house in November and I'm still trying to get things out of the old house. Jimmy got too sick for me to go move things. Still living out of boxes and haven't seen my glucose meters in several months. Got a new one today, but haven't got any strips. Get them tomorrow, I guess.
The grief, at times, is unbearable. I'm starting to get to where I can make myself pay bills etc and with my daughter jumping my arse about my health I reckon I better start getting myself in shape. I'm all alone now so no one to look after me on a daily basis. I don't know where to start. My mind is still not clear and I'm the caretaker of others, not myself. I don't know how to take care of myself. Never did know how.
So here I am. Hoping to find some motivation and support and maybe shed a few tears and heal. I don't like feeling so damn pitiful.
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