struggling --have lost motivation

By aeh Latest Reply 2008-12-17 19:51:10 -0600
Started 2008-12-01 19:06:35 -0600

i was diagnosed typeII nov 07, i immediately came home gave away 9 mt.dews to a neighbor kid, stayed in bed all the next day depressed then met my bro, his wife and youngest child with my parents at cracker barrel. my brother told me what i could order as he was diagnosed a few yrs earlier. (he's 9 yrs older than me. you see i was very active growing up but had a back injury in 1998?from a fall. i have a numb rt leg since 1990 and was still active until the fall. mind you i'm tough ,never missed a day of work but my life was very limited and i took not one pain pill and made it through with a wonderful chiropractor.2bulging discs degeneration and artritis in my back now with a vertebrae tilted 7mm. i can deal with physical pain for the most part its the emotions that are getting the best of me, the holiday blues, no money to buy what i want for others and in debt up to %$^$i sure wish santa would drop about $10,000 my way then i'd get out of debt, buy the gifts, help the needy and join a gym. It always seems to happen to others..i just struggle alone to make ends meet.i went to college for this, helping others at a non-profit agency?i love what i do now but when will i be happy and when will my non-diabetics quit nagging me about my weight gain and eating recently. im like a child i don't like to be told no when it comes to food.or should you eat that?argh..i need some help and support right now.

23 replies

Sparrow - 16557
Sparrow - 16557 2008-12-17 19:45:28 -0600 Report

I definitely understand your feelings! Diabetes isn't easy, but it also doesn't have to control you. YOU control IT. the more you learn about your own body metabolism, carbs, and how the carbs and your medications (if you're on any) affect your body and blood sugar, the more you can master this disease and feel better about it all. Keep going! Don't hold back. Keep learning and gain control!

Sharyll 2008-12-06 15:19:56 -0600 Report

If you've lost insurance, try vanadyl sulfate (I get it from's low cost. If you have neuropathy in feet and legs, also try alpha lipoic acid-amazing! I took myself off metformin and insulin and still good A1c at 5.9 or 6.0! Of course exercise like walking is free and boosts mental health!
Just smile at the "food police" or tell them directly and get them to understand. Good luck!

GabbyPA 2008-12-06 15:22:01 -0600 Report

What is vanadyl sulfate? What does it do to help you. Very interesting...please fill me in.

2008-12-04 07:52:59 -0600 Report

I feel for you; we are all struggling; do not feel bad if you can't buy the gifts you want; try to make them, in quantity, like an ornament, it is so much cheaper. And if you can't do that, don't fret cause others' may be obligated too. Or, have a big get together, and everyone can bring a dish, or even a grab bag for 20 dollar gifts; everyone put one in. There are all kinds of ways to cut corners; If I can help, let me know; I will be glad to give you some more advice or answer a question, that is what we are here for; lilmarm

Two painful feet
Two painful feet 2008-12-02 14:44:18 -0600 Report

Dear Friend, I was diagnosed October 8th. I felt numb and came home very depressed. I have a number of serious health problems and I'm in pain 24/7. I thought that I just couldn't have diabetis a well. You see I already have some of the complacations of diabetis. Just that they are caused from polio. Once I realized that I just laughed and decided to do what I have to. I started reading everything I could about type 2 diabetes and join this big family. My husband can not work because he has had 3 heart attacks. He is the proud owner of 8 stents. I received $345. ssi but when James started receiving his social security disability they took my ssi away. I have nebver been able to work so that little check made me feel like I was helping out a bit. Now we live on a very small amount of money. So our Christmas are all very small. It hurts that we can't give nice gifts to our Grand kids. We buy gifts at Goodwill and other used out lets. Our little angels love our gifts. You can find happines in the season you just have to look for it. You are part of big family that cares about you. I will pray for you.

Your Friend

John Crowley
John CrowleyCA 2008-12-02 10:08:14 -0600 Report

It's very understandable that during the holidays, you may feel very discouraged. This time of year can be the very hardest time to eat healthy and follow your plan. Then add on top of that the difficult economy we're all dealing with and the stress level can go through the roof.

I think you've received some great advice here. Be sure to stay focused on what really matters most in the long run. Every effort you make now to maintain blood sugar control will pay off huge in the long run as you avoid serious complications.

Similarly, our relationships can be strengthened whether or not we have money to spend on gifts. Do things with your family and friends to make memories. Memories last much longer than gifts.

Hang in there. And feel free to come here any time and share your feelings and frustrations. Talking through them sometimes is all you need to get a fresh perspective.

GabbyPA 2008-12-02 13:29:55 -0600 Report

You know John, you reminded me of a great giving idea that I am going to implement this year for my family. No money required.

What we are going to do for our daughter is leave special notes all thru the house. We will not be home for the holidays, so we are going to hide little encouragements in the funniest of places. Inside a loaf of bread, in the coffee maker, or an underwear drawer. We try to put them in places that you won't find all at once, that takes away the fun.

This is something of a family tradtion my mom taught us. She used to pack my dad's suitcase for his business trips and add little notes in his pockets or his shoes. He always found them all, and it is an adventure to do it when you have the whole house to hide them in.
It is kind of a "love" scavanger hunt.

Anyway, all it takes is a little time and some creativity. The cool thing about it is that you also get a chance to reflect on how much you love the person you are doing it for.

Try it, it is a lot of fun.

Avera 2008-12-01 22:33:16 -0600 Report

Hi Amy!

Glad that you came to the site. I agree with what someone else started out by saying,,,you have had more than your share of medical problems. It is an old saying but sometimes when it rains it pours.

I too, have quite a few medical problems and struggle to find someone who understands. It doesn't help to have two sons who are both health nuts! They are continually telling me what I "should" do. I finally realized it wasn't going to do any good to try and change them so I now just smile and pretend to listen to what they consider well meaning help.

There is this new list of Diabetic Dos and Don'ts or rather how to act around people who are diabetic the right way. I can't remember where that list is but maybe someone on here will read this and tell you where to find it. I lost the link and want to find it to give out to ALL my well meaning family and friends.

Meanwhile hang here with us as much as you like and I'm sure you will meet lots of friends to help you when you are down. I did. Don't be shy. Feel free to write some of us privately to exchange mails. That sometimes helps as well.

Recently I went online and did a search to find a diabetes support group near me. Now I have a few local frinds to exchange notes with and to just talk to on the phone.

Again, it is really nice to meet you.


2008-12-01 21:01:43 -0600 Report

Overwhelming? Diabetes? Life in general sometimes? You bet it is. As Gabby said, one thing at a time. Figure out the one thing that you can gain control over and work on it, one step at a time. Money probably isn't a good one to pick in this economy, so maybe your health would be a good choice. Only you can decide. Try to find one reason or several reasons that will make you want to get up and eat healthy, get some exercise even if it's walking around the house and smile for all the world to see. The food police can be a torture can't they? I had a woman at work once exclude me from a social gathering because they were having ice cream and she didn't think I should have it. 'punch in the gut'… I told her I was a big girl and can make my own decisions about what food I put in my mouth but I don't feel too good about being excluded from a social gathering because of having diabetes and I made sure that she understood what she did. She was trying to be helpful I know but she was going about it in a very hurtful way. So ignore the food police and pull yourself up by the bootstraps and take that first step toward a happier and healthier you!! We're here for you if you need support with your diabetes needs or just need a friend.


vgarrison 2008-12-01 20:57:22 -0600 Report

You have come to the right place for the motivation. Most everyong here will be there for a sholder to cry on or a hand to slap when you have done wonderful. Gabby is completely right, just do one thing at a time…When I was first diagnosed they told me to start excersing, eat better, and stop smoking, well I have gotten the eating part down, but the excersing and smoking are on my to do list. I know if I try to do everything at once, I WILL FAIL. I just know myself well enough…do what you can, focus on getting your numbers down, then add in the walking or whatever excersice you can do, then go from there.

When I first found this site, I read everything I could, still do. Go to your library and check our some diabetes books, they will have some great information for you as well…ask as many questions on here as you want…don't worry about whether or not someone else has already asked it…worry about if you need the answer or not…if it's something you find that you do not want to post publically then find someone that you connect with and ask them…(as to which I volunteer for is you need)

I have found diabetes to be something like an AA or NA program…just one day at a time…if you slip one day, guess what you can start over fresh the next day…its amazing how that works…

Good luck
Blessed Be

caragypsy 2008-12-01 19:58:17 -0600 Report

5 years ago I was diagnosed is a type 2 diabetic, I got in bed and cried for a very long time. I kept saying this is to much I had 3 painful uncurable disease's and now I have a 4th uncurable disease! I can not do this. It took a bit of time to stop bring upset. Cara

GabbyPA 2008-12-01 19:44:06 -0600 Report

It sounds like you are overwhelmed and I can relate. We sound like we are in a similar situation. I don't have the physical issues as bad, but totally understand the finances. It is hard to be motivated when all things around you seem to be failing and other people are doing fine and more than happy to tell you what you need to be doing.

Just take a moment, walk away and breathe deep....okay.

What I do when I am feeling like this is try to focus on one thing. Just one. I work it until I get it to become my nature. Then I can move on to another thing.

Like right now, this is my first holiday season as a diagnosed type 2, and my goal is to not gain weight and keep my numbers where they are or lower.

Somedays I have to kick myself out of bed to go for my 45 min walk. Sometimes I have to remind myself that one piece of something is just as good as two. Sometimes I have to realize that I am in it for the long haul, so I just have to take it one day at a time and make it a new adventure each day.

It is always my choice if I am going to have a great day or a bad day. I can't blame anyone else for a bad one, but at the same time when I do great, it is my efforts that did it. I love the way I feel when I have a great day and I try to keep feeling that way.

LadyDi - 26259Miller
LadyDi - 26259Miller 2008-12-01 19:50:23 -0600 Report

You are SO right, Gabby. I just hate myself when I get off track and misbehave, and that not only is unhealthy for my body, but only adds to any depression I might have going on (or start it). It is a good feeling to know that you're taking care of yourself. On the other hand, don't expect to be perfect. Ain't gonna happen - with any of us. Let it go and start again. Great post, Gabby.

LadyDi - 26259Miller
LadyDi - 26259Miller 2008-12-01 19:40:08 -0600 Report

Boy, it sounds like you've had more than your share of health issues, along with some other problems. I think many of us can relate to your financial issues. At least I know there have been many years of my life where I have felt overwhelmed and depressed during the holidays because of family and financial problems. I hate to think how many buckets of tears I've cried.

There have been times when I felt things would never be better…when it all seemed so hopeless. But you know what? It did eventually get better.

I don't have all the answers for you, of course, and I'm not even sure how I made it through. I just know I would not have made it if not for my faith in God and the love and support of family and friends. For many years I was a divorced mom raising 3 children. It was terrible not being able to do much for them at Christmas. I let bills go and went further in debt, which was probably not the smart thing to do. But then I have not always done the smart or "right" thing (LOL). How 'bout you?

The pain you have experienced is enough to depress you. I can't imagine living with the pain that some folks live with on a continuous basis. I do know that the immediate reaction when diagnosed with diabetes is to become overwhelmed and depressed…to feel like your life is over…to feel as though you'll never be able to eat anything yummy again. I hope you will work closely with your doctor, and perhaps get some psychological help, in order to get yourself on track with controlling your diabetes. I've found it's not nearly as difficult as some folks make it seem (altho there are different situations and levels of the illness). Don't give up. Your depression affects your physical wellbeing, and that, in turn, causes you to be depressed.You have to break the cycle.

Just try every day to do a little better. Continue to help others and focus on what you can do to keep busy and useful. I'm adding you to my prayer list, and I know others on here will as well. Talking with others and learning of what they have dealt with or are going through will help you see that you are not alone. God loves you!

highlandcitygirl 2008-12-01 19:21:48 -0600 Report

you hang in there. take a deep breath and then decide what comes first. i encourage you to take the best care of yourself that you can. don't rush your jumps,but take each day as it comes. wish you the very best!

NormaJean 2008-12-02 15:56:25 -0600 Report

We all have been down this road at one time or the other, you just have to take it one day at a time.
When I was first dx I was in denial,it took me at least 2 weeks before I was able to test my BG.I was depressed,frustrated and thought my life was at an end.Then I found this site and the wonderful people on here,I found the motivation, inspiration and support to live life once again.
We all support each other here.Ignore those people that bring you down,your health is most important to you,I know you've been through a lot and we all have but God is good don't give up.We all have good times and bad,but don't let the bad times get you down.
Recently I lost my job , I have no health insurance, no money to buy my meds ,it seemed like everything was just going down but I didn't give up ,always have faith ,God bless you and everyone on this site.

Goddess 2008-12-01 19:13:49 -0600 Report

I'm in the same boat as you. Let's try to help each other and support.

Goddess 2008-12-17 19:23:27 -0600 Report

Please don't take offense. Have you ever thought about seeing a therapist? I have been seeing one for 8 years now. It really helps.


caspersmama 2008-12-01 19:11:48 -0600 Report

I am not real sure what you are asking help for? Money, being alone, diet, what?

aeh 2008-12-17 18:56:35 -0600 Report

understanding and support and obviuosly you don't have anything to add since you didn't understand my ramblings

highlandcitygirl 2008-12-17 19:51:10 -0600 Report

well my friend, i guess i should take my own advice huh!! i understand, i still want to kick the cat because of being so overwhelmed! an overwhelmed is what your feeling! right now i'm just trying to go with the flow, kinda' hard though when the current is so strong! still i am throwing you the life line hang on,you are not alone! we are pulling for you! and i hope you are pulling for us. i need you! and i do care!

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