I screwed up - but will fix it

JoleneAL
By JoleneAL Latest Reply 2012-12-02 17:47:03 -0600
Started 2012-11-26 10:17:45 -0600

** Note: I need to vent. I need to get this off my chest to people who will understand me. Its my way of admitting failure and getting the guilt off my chest. Thank You. **

I'm a T2 and last year asked my doctor for fast insulin to help with my morning spikes. It is not your classic "dawn syndrome". I wake up around 85 every day. But, within one hour I'm over 250. Its just a morning spike. I usually take 2 units of fast after my 30 units of slow and as long as I eat correctly, I'm fine the rest of the day.

However - and this is the part of screwing up - I took the fast and used it to eat whatever I wanted.

And now - I'm 25 pounds heavier and miserable. I know I have to get back into the swing of things, eating being the biggest problem. I have a sweet tooth that would put Willy Wonka to shame. I could eat candy all day, every day if I could get away with it. Just this past weekend, I ate a piece of store bought pumpkin pie. Five to 8 units of fast later I finally go back down under 200. And you know what? I did it the next day too.

This is the worst time of the year to start cracking down, but it is what I have to do.

No, I don't exercise anymore either and that's another problem. We do not have the room for equipment and I refuse to walk in the dark, so that is out in the mornings and now at night. The local gym membership I had expired and I won't be going back. Half the equipment is broken and by the time I can get there, the pieces working are all taken. And for some stupid reason, my husband refuses to respect my wishes and leave me alone in the bedroom to do some exercises at home. So I have to sneak to work out at home when he's not there. (That is on the to-do list to fix also).

I feel better admitting it to myself and someone else and today starts one hour at a time.

Thanks for letting me vent!

One day at a time right?


14 replies

Katie Suvak
Katie Suvak 2012-12-02 17:15:16 -0600 Report

I'm trying to do 100 sit ups a day it worked for three days but then I never had time or even time alone. Its hard trying to lose weight since we haaave to eat

jayabee52
jayabee52 2012-12-02 17:47:03 -0600 Report

Yes, Katie, we all do have to eat to live, however, we can manage our meal plans to cut out most of the carbs and lose the fat.

2 yrs ago this Feb. I decided to cut out all the carbs from bread and grain products. I lost 65 lbs all told. Looking at a photo from that time a year after I looked really way too thin. I am told my family (who hadn't seen me in over a year before that) were worried that I was TOO thin, and looking at my photo from that time I have to agree.

And the thing of it, I was so focused on getting my need for insulin discontinued, I really didn't notice my weight loss until I had trouble keeping my pants up without a belt. And I eventually had to drill holes in my old belt to accomodate holding my pants up. I went from a waist size 46" to a 36' (currently 38 is comfortable.)

Sit ups are great, in fact any exercise is great, but one thing I've learned is I cannot "spot reduce". The fat went on and is distributed by one's bodily metabolism, It will come off like that too

Praying you have great success in your resolve to lose weight.

James

michael1314
michael1314 2012-11-30 20:21:22 -0600 Report

fine some workout dvd that you might enjoy check with your insurance company they may offer a paid membership for you, if you dont ask they sure wont volunteer the info without you asking

MoeGig
MoeGig 2012-11-28 19:48:36 -0600 Report

I know the problem well. Although I'm T1, (Lantus and Humalog), I found that the only way to lose weight was to try to get along on just the Lantus. This meant I was very low carb. I lost the weight, but now in maintenance mode I take humalog to cover the carbs (relatively few) I eat during the day. It's a pain, and sometime I just treat myself and get a pizza or Chinese food and end up having to take a lot of humalog to get my BG back down from the 300's. On a regular basis, I just try to minimize the carbs and test often. If I can stay between 80 and 180, I'm happy. Good luck.

Set apart
Set apart 2012-11-28 05:47:06 -0600 Report

Hi Jolene I think it's great that you've admitted all of this especially to yourself! Now you can get back on track, I workout with video tapes and also by myself, been doing so long can actually do my own workout with music! I am very cautious with fast acting insulin sometimes will eat hardly any carbs so not to take too much! Good luck and keep us updated, one day at a time, one meal at a
Time! :-)

JoleneAL
JoleneAL 2012-11-28 11:36:42 -0600 Report

The vertigo is a left over from Menaires (sp) I had a bought of it earlier in the year. I still have the ringing and mild cases of vertigo on occasion. But brain scans proved yes brain, no tumors or other causes. Also, I'm forcing my body to adjust to a lower glucose level and that could be it too.

arsmithsr
arsmithsr 2012-11-27 15:45:54 -0600 Report

You might try walking at work the building I work in is quite big and you see people walking laps all day to excercise.

JoleneAL
JoleneAL 2012-11-27 14:01:03 -0600 Report

Well day 2 and doing better than yesterday. Kept levels under 200 but man do I get a serious case of vertigo when I go below 80 … wow! And the effects seem to not go away long after the sugar is back up … oh well .. paying the piper!

Gabby
GabbyPA 2012-11-26 16:06:59 -0600 Report

Whew...now that is off your chest, you can move forward. We will all be rooting for your success. Share those with us as they come about. We are all ears.

Rileydoll2010
Rileydoll2010 2012-11-26 13:50:51 -0600 Report

Everyone makes mistakes right? :) I sometimes use my fast acting to eat a sweet or two. So we'll get on track together! :)

jayabee52
jayabee52 2012-11-26 10:51:30 -0600 Report

Absolutely, Jolene!

One day at a time, one hour at a time, one minuite at a time! You seem to have backed yourself into a corner, but that can be corrected!

If you are accepting suggestions, (if not ignore this) perhaps you could drive to a mall and do some mall walking for exercise. It wouldn't be dark, and it would be relatively comfortable.

Praying for your success!

James

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