** Note: I need to vent. I need to get this off my chest to people who will understand me. Its my way of admitting failure and getting the guilt off my chest. Thank You. **
I'm a T2 and last year asked my doctor for fast insulin to help with my morning spikes. It is not your classic "dawn syndrome". I wake up around 85 every day. But, within one hour I'm over 250. Its just a morning spike. I usually take 2 units of fast after my 30 units of slow and as long as I eat correctly, I'm fine the rest of the day.
However - and this is the part of screwing up - I took the fast and used it to eat whatever I wanted.
And now - I'm 25 pounds heavier and miserable. I know I have to get back into the swing of things, eating being the biggest problem. I have a sweet tooth that would put Willy Wonka to shame. I could eat candy all day, every day if I could get away with it. Just this past weekend, I ate a piece of store bought pumpkin pie. Five to 8 units of fast later I finally go back down under 200. And you know what? I did it the next day too.
This is the worst time of the year to start cracking down, but it is what I have to do.
No, I don't exercise anymore either and that's another problem. We do not have the room for equipment and I refuse to walk in the dark, so that is out in the mornings and now at night. The local gym membership I had expired and I won't be going back. Half the equipment is broken and by the time I can get there, the pieces working are all taken. And for some stupid reason, my husband refuses to respect my wishes and leave me alone in the bedroom to do some exercises at home. So I have to sneak to work out at home when he's not there. (That is on the to-do list to fix also).
I feel better admitting it to myself and someone else and today starts one hour at a time.
Thanks for letting me vent!
One day at a time right?
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