I'm not diabetic but the woman I care about is, any tips for me?

By PrettyBoy24 Latest Reply 2012-11-26 11:22:19 -0600
Started 2012-11-21 23:14:17 -0600

I'm not diabetic, but the woman I love is. She is a type one, and I'm trying to learn everything I can to help her in any way I can, and try to understand more about diabetes. I want to be there for her in every way I can, and any tips, or bits of information I can get would help a lot, and be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

25 replies

Nana_anna 2012-11-26 11:22:19 -0600 Report

I think the best thing is your support. But don't over do it. Just you helping her by supporting her is good. Help her to stay on track, with all that she and the Dr. can do. Exercise and walking are good things to, and stay on meds, and a good diet of greens. Watch out for the potatoes and white rice, no to those. Juices are good, but makes the sugar go up. Best wishes to her!

PrettyBoy24 2012-11-25 15:20:38 -0600 Report

I'm definitely looking for that book, thank you maclover1524

Vigirl7 2012-11-25 17:46:09 -0600 Report

The book is awesome. I got it last night and it is really hard to put down. I have been type 1 for 23 years, but this is just spellbinding. I too, like malclover is on a run to learn as much as I can too. Books A Million has it online for $17.87 check to see if on Cyber Monday,you can get free shipping!!!

maclover1524 2012-11-25 12:52:32 -0600 Report

You sound like a very caring person. Do yourself and the woman in your life a favor and get the book, "Diabetes Solution" by Richard Bernstein, M.D. It changed our lives. My husband suffered with T2D for over 20 years before I read that book which set me on a course to learn all I could about diabetes. It's now 10 years of wellness for my husband. Off of insulin, off pain medication, off diuretics, off statins. Weight loss of 100 pounds!
God bless!

AnnRendon 2012-11-24 23:49:49 -0600 Report

I love that you care much.. I would just say don't push foods on her your not sure of.. My wife knows things I love and could eat before. So trying to be sweet she will say baby have some of this its great.. I'll go no thanks but I have to repeat it a few times only because I can't have it. But I think she forgets sometimes and is only trying to give me what I want.. But it makes it harder on me.. So I just remind her

PrettyBoy24 2012-11-23 19:21:35 -0600 Report

Baby there is nothing to be apologize for, and I'm willing to go through hell and back covered in fire and brimstone for you Jenn. I know you're worth it, and I'm in it to win it! I'll do what I have to to understand diabetes and what you're going through. I hope I can pick things up fast enough so it will be like breathing :)

Rileydoll2010 2012-11-23 14:36:03 -0600 Report

First off :) thank you for loving and caring enough about me to want to understand! It means the world to me. And yes, you've experienced my many mood swings and I apologize for it. I'm probably going to put you through hell :) but I promise I'm worth it! Just be patient with me. Once you're around me for so long it will be kinda like breathing. You'll pick up on it quickly! :)

Nick1962 2012-11-23 11:43:25 -0600 Report

One thing that hasn’t been mentioned yet, which may or may not impact you, is try to keep her in a healthy environment. By that I mean try to watch things like fairs and festivals and the like that may not have healthy eating options. Don’t give it up, but maybe look for other options. Try to stay with some of the better restaurants if you can afford it. Bear in mind that eating in general is a hassle for her, so having a nice clean space to test and inject really lessons the stress.
If you’re going on a day trip or outing, try to research the area a bit first to know what’s available in the area so you’re not depending on fast food for meals. Google Earth is a great help here. Plan things that will require some exercise if you can, maybe a trip to the zoo versus sitting at a movie.
You will need to follow her lead, but the diabetic lifestyle can work wonders for the non-diabetic as well. It says a lot about your character that you’re here. Many of us have had partners that were ambivalent to our conditions at best (I got a 3-1/2 lb bag of peanut M&M’s in my Christmas stocking my first year), so kudos to you!

AnnRendon 2012-11-24 23:55:00 -0600 Report

Omg nick… M&M now that's just mean.. What did you do with Them


Nick1962 2012-11-25 15:17:58 -0600 Report

I ate about 5 and put the rest out in a bowl at work. In her defense, I was still pretty new to it, so she really had no idea. I had to give her a pass on that one.

IronOre 2012-11-23 20:02:04 -0600 Report

and try your best to stay away from alcohol . . . occasionally is fine, but we all know how that can go

Nick1962 2012-11-24 15:58:42 -0600 Report

I'll second that. While social drinking can be entertainment and time with friends, too often the drinking takes priority. I know it probably ruined a good deal of what could have been good relationships for me.

PrettyBoy24 2012-11-25 00:48:38 -0600 Report

I'm not much of a drinker anymore. I've gotten all the partying out of my system before this angel came into my life. I'm also sure that we won't have to worry about alcohol affecting us. When I'm around her, I don't even think about alcohol.

Nick1962 2012-11-25 15:13:36 -0600 Report

You don't know how refreshing it is to hear that. Wish I had your good sense back in the day. I'm sure more than one angel flew right past me.

PrettyBoy24 2012-11-23 08:56:05 -0600 Report

Thank you gabby for the information. You have given a lot of insight for me. I love her very much! She is the one that told me about this site, and I am more than happy to go through anything with her. She is the light of my life, and I want to be there for her every step of the way. I'm going to look into classes, and go with her if she'd like. Thanks again for the tips everyone.

IronOre 2012-11-23 11:25:24 -0600 Report

and it really helps if her doctor is an endocrinologist, associated with a diabetes clinic, because they have all the resources, including educated people, that you will need.

GabbyPA 2012-11-23 08:18:03 -0600 Report

Learning how to be there for her will come with time and experiencing some of the things she goes through.

Like Iron Ore mentioned, mood swings can be kind of brutal. Don't take them personally. I know I am out of control when it seems that everything my husband says pisses me off. I try to get a grip on it before I say some stupid things, but I am not always on top of things. I love my hubby, and I know he loves me when I get like that.

Something that helped me a lot and created a different level of bonding for my husband was including him in some diabetic education classes. It was good to have someone else explain things better than I could and sometimes hearing it from a third party makes us more open to the suggestions. It also gave us some talking points on our own, as I personalized the things I learned at home.

One of the most important things to know is what to do in an emergency. If she suffers a low, knowing what to do can save her life. Knowing what a meter says and what to do with the numbers it gives you is vital. Even if she has never suffered a low, you want to know what to do and make sure she and you are both equipped to deal with it.

Most of all, be yourself. Just love her. That will give her more than anything. Often diabetics can doubt true love because the illness is so consuming and it will take a special person to be able to deal with it every single day for the rest of your life like she has to. She doesn't have a choice, but you do. And to take that on requires a special love.

PrettyBoy24 2012-11-22 19:19:21 -0600 Report

I'm not going to need to trick her into eating or have to play any games with her. She's a grown woman, and knows what she needs to do for her levels. I'm just trying to get a better understanding and looking for any tips for what I can do to help.

IronOre 2012-11-22 21:31:07 -0600 Report

I was being a bit sarcastic, but my main point is that when a person's blood sugar goes low they just aren't themselves, and they really have no control over it. Their attitude, mood, and temper can change, so whether she is a grown woman or not she is not immune from any of it.
It CAN change, but it doesn't mean it will, so it is something that you need to watch out for.
Maybe do some Internet searches on that topic, and I think you'll see what I mean.

IronOre 2012-11-22 18:23:22 -0600 Report

I think the thing that will take the most getting used to is when her blood sugar gets low her attitude may change greatly.
So if she calls you a F*****g A**h**e then assume she needs something to eat, unless of course you really are a F*****g A**h**e (but it really doesn't sound like you are).
On top of that she may not think she will need something to eat and may resist you - then you may need to trick her into eating . . . like playing choo choo train with a spoon full of ice cream.
There will be a learning curve for the both of you - but eventually things will fit into place and T1 diabetes will just be a minor inconvienience in your lives.

PrettyBoy24 2012-11-22 10:19:34 -0600 Report

Thank you for the link, and the tips James. I need all the help I can get to understand and know about diabetes. Before this amazing woman came into my life, I didn't really give diabetes a second thought. I have a few family members that are diabetic, but I'm not so I really didn't think about it. I'm not trying to sound mean, or rude at all. I'm just being honest, and I really do appreciate all the help I can get to know how everyone deals with it everyday, and what she has to go through. Thanks again for the help.

jayabee52 2012-11-22 00:30:39 -0600 Report

Howdy PrettyBoy

You could go to the links at the left and find "Living with Diabetes". you'll find a link for type 1. ~ http://www.diabeticconnect.com/diabetes-artic...

Read the information there should give you an idea of what she and you need to know. Of course if she is willing, she could share with you what she faces as far as living with and controlling her Type 1.

I am happy you wish to be so proactive, not every person is. I would expect that this lady returns your love? Yes?

James Baker

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