Tuesday thoughts

luked
By luked Latest Reply 2012-11-24 03:39:24 -0600
Started 2012-11-20 08:32:23 -0600

Tuesday thoughts
There is nothing worse than being in a situation (work, relationship, etc…) when you've done all you can to make the situation better but you know it will never change. You are forced to walk on eggshells and can no longer be yourself. Smiling and/or joking around becomes a rare occasion. When you get to that point in your life it's time to make some serious decisions. Your life is important and you should never allow any situation to cause you to forget about self. Some people will try to destroy your self esteem and try to control you if you allow them to. We only have one life to live. You can never give you all if you are not truly happy. You can only fake it for so long. Never allow anyone or any situation to steal your joy. Happy Tuesday.

Tags: general

9 replies

Ms. DAT
Ms. DAT 2012-11-21 04:50:18 -0600 Report

I never could get with the saying,"Fake it til you make it and if you don't like it then act like you like it" Well I can see that if I have to be fake or pretend to like to something or someone then that is living a lie! It is not healthy in no way!!
Don't go around cutting others down due to personal misery! I say when heart to heart truthful communication is not accepted then it is the time to reconsider the nature of the relationship and let it go and leave the eggshells alone.

Some people use manipulation and bullying to get it all their way so they can win. It is very frustrating and can lead to other unwanted tactic, too! it is time to go to enjoy life.

There are situations that will bring tears but it is possible to recover lost joy and happiness as many here on DC is experiencing now!!

True that we can not give all if not happy, however, we must take a real good look in our lives to determine what or who determine true happiness. Is it people or things?!

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2012-11-21 11:40:58 -0600 Report

Very true words Ms. DAT. Fake people have no character or substance. These are the people who are so set on impressing others they have lost who they truly are. They find out they have no real friends because their friends are just like them. In most cases their family has them figured out and don't want to be around them.

Manipulating others is a waste of time. Sooner or later the person is going to get wise or someone will tell them they are being manipulated and all efforts of the manipulator will be lost. You can't be bullied if you stand up to the bully. Bullies are cowards trying to prove they aren't and to do this they bully others.

Communicating is very important however, the truth is real and it hurts. Some people are more acceptable of a lie than the truth. Especially when it comes to their own personal lives.

I have learned through years of working with the public, that people who are dependent on others are those who walk on eggshells. They do this because they need that persons support. These are the people who are not going to express their true feelings when communicating with those they depend on. I had a boss who thought being supportive was to pat employees on the back and say "good job". This is something I do not like. I told him I am not your pet. I pet my dog and say good boy or good job. If you ever pat me on my back, you will never use that hand again. How about simply saying you did a good job, great job or I really like your idea. Sends a better message and I would appreciate your compliment more than the pat on the back. He was upset at first but at Christmas he bought me an expensive box of chocolates and gave the rest of the staff a card. He told me he never thought about how his message was received prior to my calling him on the pats on the back. He was one of the best bosses I ever had.

Ms. DAT
Ms. DAT 2012-11-21 16:12:57 -0600 Report

Hi Joyce!!Yes I do understand about working in the eyes of the public and being a real!

Communication when done effectively and not condescending even when feedback is given.

Some times people bully people who exemplify humility or is shy to a degree and yes because of the reason you stated as well. I was told from a child that I was too nice by my MOM cause I would help anybody and I still posses that quality but know have more wisdom But somehow by God He send aid to my Defense on several events in life when I had to endure some things until the end came!

Haha!about loosing the hand as a result of pats on the back! I feel the same way about being patted on the head!!

I just read a good point, that people in Level 5 Leadership posses two types of qualities one of which is" humility" and the other is "will" who often seem shy and unpretentious,lack of ego and the will to do what is best for the organization!!

Gabby
GabbyPA 2012-11-20 18:00:30 -0600 Report

That smiling face should never have to be walking on eggshells. I know it's just a snap shot of a moment. Maybe your time of decision is close? It is sad when that happens, but as many members here know, I have a story that explains the coming and going of relationships as a tree. If you would like, I can send you that story. It helps me so much.

But anytime you are not yourself it's not how you should live.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2012-11-20 11:08:24 -0600 Report

Very wise words Luke, however, if you are a strong person, you really don't have to worry about much of what you said. I do not walk on eggshells for any reason. I cannot and will not be intimidated by any human being.

No one can steal your self esteem or self respect. You have to give that away. As long as you hold onto your self esteem and self respect, the person trying to steal them does not have a chance. On the other hand if you are dependent on others, if you need a pat on the back for everything you do, if you allow people to call you everything but your name, then you become a victim of the other people. It isn't what you are called, it is what you answer to.

People who have to control or bully others have absolutely nothing going on for them in their lives. All you have to do is take the control away from them and stop the bullying and these people will be like a fish out of water.

The key to being a strong person is to believe in self. This doesn't mean being selfish. It means that as long as you stand up for yourself, people will know you can't be controlled and they are not able to mess with your self esteem.

Ms. DAT
Ms. DAT 2012-11-21 05:05:12 -0600 Report

Joyce Very true!!

I learned from a pre-teen to stand up for myself cause I was taught not to fight at one time but when I told my mom( who is at Rest) she told me, " the next time somebody put their hands on you you do all you can to knock fire from them!!!
Well I am older now to be fighting cause I am short and some feel as though I will let them push me around so I have been called Mean!!

Yes one must believe in self worth!

Happy Thanksgiving Season/Harvest!

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2012-11-21 11:22:49 -0600 Report

Ms. DAT sometimes telling children not to fight can cause them to be bullied because the bullies know the child is not going to fight back. Our parents taught us to never start a fight but if someone hits you, hit them back.

I don't care what people call me, remember I said it isn't what you are called, it is what you answer to. I don't worry about what people say about me or what they call me. I let them wallow in their own ignorance. I have more important things to do. Although when people think you are mean, they tend to leave you alone.