Is it wrong what I'm feeling?

Ambrosia Malfoy
By Ambrosia Malfoy Latest Reply 2012-12-12 21:33:27 -0600
Started 2012-11-15 21:12:58 -0600

Hi, um I kind of nervous being new here and all but I need to get this out. I was diagnosed with diabetes when i was only 2. I have type 1 and I'm fine with that! Problem is, i've been slacking off! I really want to get back and i am doing good with all the help i'm getting but does anybody else ever feel like giving up? Am I the only one? Because half of the time I feel like I'm the only loser person with diabetes that is not taking care of their diabetes, even though I try!


23 replies

Bfbacon
Bfbacon 2012-12-12 21:33:27 -0600 Report

Wow, that is pretty much your whole life! I got it at 13 and thought that was young.
I went ten years not testing, living off the $&@ wall, craziness, many ER visits…lucky I made it really. Those were years 17 to 27, college plus…no surprise. Now I am mid-40s w/wife, kids and I am a control freak with my life, cannot imagine losing control. So, you may be going thru a certain let-loose stage of immaturity. Yes, it is wrong that you feel like giving up and you should fight that urge! Hopefully you will regain control shortly!

Paul Bow
Paul Bow 2012-11-20 20:01:46 -0600 Report

I was diagnosed July 5th 2012 I'm 23 and I'm the only person I know with type1 too! It's frustrating. Had a minor rebel moment and whacked out a bowl of cereal, flipping the bird to diabetes if you will. Man I felt a fool after, your post shows your aware and that you are not giving up! Nice one!

sloane
sloane 2012-11-20 08:53:00 -0600 Report

I have two sons with diabetes, one diagnosed at the age of 17 months. Now he will be graduating Duke Medical School in May!! These feeling are perfectly normal whether you have diabetes or not. Frustration and feelings of defeat always come into our lives sometimes. We just need to understand that these are normal feelings that hit us from time to time and that with the help from family, friends and those great people on this site, you will defeat these negative emotions and move forward to a happy and prosperous life. My son Jason has said numerous times that diabetes helps him empathize with his patients and they love him for sharing his personal story. Share yours and help someone else overcome obstacles. You will then feel empowered!

Jan8
Jan8 2012-11-19 08:44:58 -0600 Report

There are many times I feel like throwing my hands up in the air and feel like just throw in the towel but I know I will get back on tract because I've done it before. I have to do this for my family. i can't get away with even a minor slip because my body puts the brakes on.

MrsCDogg
MrsCDogg 2012-11-19 06:21:31 -0600 Report

You are not alone in your feelings! There are many times each day that I feel like just giving up. Then I remember the people who love me…and if I don't feel like doing things for myself I do it for them.

jellyroll$
jellyroll$ 2012-11-18 11:59:56 -0600 Report

We all know diabetes health is a marathon not a sprint… Don't beat yourself up for a bad day here or there, but don't forget that you can gift that to yourself only if you're are full other days. Not military style, but try easy good stuff, like putting sf jelly is plain yogurt with healthy cereal instead of a muffin or bagel.
I weighs on me too… It really does… So just try and be good most of the time so the other times don't become the norm.
Good luck!

Jeremyz mom
Jeremyz mom 2012-11-18 08:54:35 -0600 Report

I think the people on here that say they haven't had a "slack off" day are kidding themselves…i think there is no perfect diabetic patient…but even if these folks are doing a perfect job, there are plenty of us who understand!

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2012-11-17 22:33:53 -0600 Report

HI Ambrosia,

Nice to be in touch with you. And I am glad that you are here.

It's not easy to live day to day with diabetes. It can feel like a lot of work to stay on top of your self-care. You are certainly not a loser to feel this way. As you can see, lots of people here understand what you are going through.

Here is a link to an article that you might find helpful:

http://www.diabeticconnect.com/discussions/15402-i-m-sick-of-this-what-to-do-when-you-are-facing-burnout

Sounds like you have been doing an incredible job of taking care of yourself so far. I hope you are able to get back on track soon. Would this be a good discussion to have with your doctor?

Stay in touch!

Gary

Ambrosia Malfoy
Ambrosia Malfoy 2012-11-17 22:31:42 -0600 Report

Thank you all so much for your help! I really appreciate it! I feel like I have my own different family that can really connect with me and for that I thank you all! I have actually started taking better care for myself or at least trying to but I can tell by my blood sugars that I am doing better. Thank you all!

Set apart
Set apart 2012-11-17 06:55:05 -0600 Report

Hi Ambrosia, gotta agree that your name is beautiful. I've read everyone's responses, they all are saying the right things because we care! My life cannot compare to your I've been a Type 1 only 15 months now and I am 49 years old, so I lived my life differently until D. Initially I did feel cheated and the why me did kick in because I had worked out and watched my diet for over 20 years. People still say that I prepared myself for this, I think they're crazy there's no one who can say they're ready to live with D! Since I've had D I've really taken are of it and about two months ago I found out that now my kidneys are being attacked and they are showing damage like a person with D who hasn't taken care of themselves for like 5 years! All of this and it's not D that's causing it I may have another autoimmune disease and am lookin at a possible kidney biopsy during the holidays to see what the culprit is. Why do I tell you this Ambrosia because with all of this there was a day when I said "not me, not again, not something else!". That day was short and now I am back at it trying to be positive, I want to live and be happy! I want to see my grand children live out their dreams, I want to breathe and walk, run when I can, this is why I take care of myself! We are all human, so say goodbye to yesterday with no regrets and live for today! You have that right! Hug!

MoeGig
MoeGig 2012-11-16 15:10:54 -0600 Report

Congrats on your longevity. Been Type 1 for 46 years and I know, it gets to you after a while. I guess, the ultimate motivator that gets me back on the wagon is fear. We all know about the complications that once set in are miserable, don't get better, and really change your life. I really fear that outcome, and it's that motivation that keeps me testing, exercising, dieting, etc. It's paid off so far…at 68, I have an active life—running, skiing, etc. "Fear" of losing that keeps me on the wagon.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2012-11-16 12:35:11 -0600 Report

Ambrosia, I have read some of the comments and people are saying we all slack off at times or that when we were diagnosed at an older age it was hard for us to change the way we ate. I am wondering who all the "we" people are.

I was older when I was diagnosed. Was it hard for me? Absolutely not. Do I slack off and not take care of myself, no way on earth. Have I ever asked myself why me? Nope. I have diabetes, diabetes does not have me. I am not co-dependent. I don't need anyone to remind me to eat, take my meds or test my blood sugar. I have a support system in place that includes family and friends. We do not talk about diabetes. We have better things to do and are doing all kinds of interesting things that we choose to discuss. If I am too low or too high, what are they going to do if I call them other than tell me to eat or not to eat what I ate.

I am the one the devils says "OH CRAP, SHE'S UP!" when my feet hit the ground each morning. I choose to live and to live I have to take care of myself. Sure you fall down but its what you do after we have fallen that counts. What do you want me to tell you, take care of yourself. You know you have to do that and no matter what anyone says on this site, not one of us can force you to be more responsible and do what you know you need to do. I have not been diagnosed as long as you. You have had to deal with this your entire life an it may not have been easy for you. Believe me I can understand that.

When I was first diagnosed, people actually got on my nerves reminding me to test or about what I was eating. I had to put a stop to that. Being diabetic is not my main focus in life and is not one of my top ten problems. Being diabetic and the care of it is all routine to me. I know what I have to do so I do it. Half the time I don't realize I am doing what I should be doing.

Sure I could sit around wallowing in self pity, crying on friends shoulders about what I can no longer eat and not having people support me. That would be time I could be doing something that makes me feel good or to benefit someone else. No matter whether I moan and groan about being diabetic and not taking care of myself, at the end of the day I am only hurting myself.

So I am going to put this back on your shoulders because only you can decide to get back on the bus or stand there and let it go by. Do you want to continue to live a healthy and fruitful life or continue to slack off and risk losing vision, limbs or cause other medical problems. My guess is that you will get on that bus with the rest of us and live and dance like there is no tomorrow…Best of luck to you and I will say a prayer for you.

liquorish
liquorish 2012-11-16 11:54:44 -0600 Report

Hi Ambrosia. What a beautiful name. I am Liquorish. I chose this name because one of my 13 cats shares this name. A friend brought her to me when she was 2 weeks old, found under a bush. She is more human than cat. About your falling off the bandwagon. We all do. But, personally, you put ME to shame, because you have been dealing with this since you were 2, and I have only been dealing with it since I turned 40. A mere 18 years. And I am type 2. I have been told that type 1 is easier to handle, but I have known type 1's and that doesn't seem right. I don't think any of us have it easy. For those of us diagnosed when we were older, it was extremely hard to change the way we ate and exercised, and the way we looked at things. I used to fix beans and cornbread for an evening meal (mostly because it was cheap), but not anymore because it is nothing but carbs. I can't eat pinto beans as a side dish, like I would green beans, because the flavor just does not go with anything. My mother-in-law used to fix cornbread with everything: even spaghetti! Yuk!!! Diabetes is a hard thing to live with. Sometimes you have to be selfish, because somone wants to do something that you can't, and they get mad at you. Well, pooey on them. You HAVE to take care of your health. It's o.k. to be down and fall off the wagon once in a while. But make those times few, far apart, and short short short. Jayabee is 100 per cent right about damage being done and you don't know it, and it might not be reversible. The best thing: have something that you do ONLY at those times. Or have someone to call or visit. They won't mind that you are a little down when you call, they will want to cheer you up. In your picture you are young. But no matter how old you are, the Lord has a purpose for you in THIS life. Even if it is just to help others who are struggling with diabetes, which, in my humble opinion, is extremely important. We struggle not only with the don'ts, but with the do's, the have to's, depression, fear of failure, and on and on. So keep your head up, get back on track, find new recipes, find new things to do, join a group if you can, learn all you can, keep your doctors app.s, follow their advice, and join communities like this one. If it is o.k. with you, I would like to make you a "friend" (if I can figure out how to do it. I am very computer illiterate), and then we can talk whenever you need to. I will join Jayabee in prayer for you. The Lord says where two are joined together in any thing, He will hear from Heaven and answer. God Bless You! Liquorish

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2012-11-16 14:30:32 -0600 Report

Liquorish, there isn't anything my friends can do that I can't do with them except eat and drink like them. Just because it was hard for you being diagnosed at 40 does not mean it was the same for those of us diagnosed at an older age. I certainly am not struggling with the do's and don'ts. Finally diabetes is hard to live with if you choose to make it that way. You can't say that "we" all have those problems. I choose to live my life not concern myself with what I can or cannot do. There isn't anything I can't do if I choose to do it. I absolutely refuse to use diabetes as a means of allowing myself to become psychologically disabled.

I am the president of a community organization that works closely with the police department and the police department. Since being diagnosed, I still go on ride alongs with the officers, attend and chair meetings, go on community walks and that is just the tip of the iceberg, I make and sell jewelry in two different venues. I visit friends and family, go to picnics and take a trip from time to time. I still dance, and have a lot of fun. The only thing diabetes has stopped me from doing is eating all the unhealthy foods I use to eat. If someone gets mad with you because you can't do something, do you really want to do anything with them? I don't.

You see liquorish, life is what you make it. If you choose to become the kind of person who can't do things when you are able to do them, what is going to happen should there come a time when you are unable to do them? My life didn't end when I was diagnosed, a new phase of it began.

You said if you feel down call someone because they won't mind cheering you up. There are times people do mind. People have lives and can't always be there for you when you need them. You have 3 times to call me to cheer you up then you are on your own. If you can't learn to stand on your own two feet, and go get the help you know you need, I am not going to be your crutch. I was depressed for years and got help. My friends didn't become my crutch but they were there when times got tough just like I am there for them. Thankfully, I have friends who are not dependent on others to help them with every little thing because we know how to take care of ourselves and not depend on others all the time. So you can say how hard it was for all of us, how we all struggled and how we can't do what we use to do. That is far from the truth for many people. I have been on cruises with diabetics, heart patients, paraplegics, quadriplegics and people confined to wheel chairs, are using walkers and oxygen and they had just as much fun as I did. When you limit yourself and your abilities, all you have done is shortened your abilities to be all you can be.

To friend Ambrosia or anyone else, click on their name. it will take you to their profile page. Beside her photo if she has one you will see a bar that says connect, click on it and you will get a drop down that says friend or follow. Click friend and a friend request will pop up. You can add a note then click send request. You will get an email when she accepts respond. You can also send a gift to someone the same way. Hope this helps you.

Harlen
Harlen 2012-11-16 11:32:31 -0600 Report

I feel that way too but my mom died from not doing what she needed to do to take care of her D I dont wish to die or have my feet cut off or go blined
Give your self a brake and just start over you know what to do and how to do it
Nothing left to do but the doing of it .
Best wishes
harlen

alanbossman
alanbossman 2012-11-16 11:18:20 -0600 Report

Hi and welcome to the DC family, no you are not alone everyone I know slack off on taking care of there diabetes once i awhile. Just get back on the wagon and full speed ahead.
Alan

Linda crutch
Linda crutch 2012-11-16 09:37:25 -0600 Report

You r not alone in your feelings. We all have time that we 'slack off', but we know to go back to what is right for our bodies and Diabetes. That's life for us!!

eristar
eristar 2012-11-16 06:01:15 -0600 Report

Glad to see you here, Ambrosia. And a big, resounding NO, you are not the only one who feels like giving up and has periods of not taking care of herself. Guilty here! There are times when I tell myself I just don't care, and eat whatever I want and lounge in front of the tv instead of taking the dog for a nice long walk or hopping on the exercise bike for awhile…then I get a big dose of the guiltys and work hard on taking the best care of myself that I can…Hang in there - we are all behind you and will help any way we can!

jayabee52
jayabee52 2012-11-16 05:21:35 -0600 Report

Howdy Ambrosia! WELCOME to the human race Ambrosia! I have slacked off on taking care myself on occasion. I suspect many who are regulars here here on DC have also. So welcome to the human race.

You know how far you have fallen and what you have to do. Me telling you what to do won't make you do it.

Praying for you to get back on your horse and start controlling your diabetes. I pray you haven't done too much damage to your body.

James Baker

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