Family support

By nanagramma Latest Reply 2012-11-10 17:59:26 -0600
Started 2012-11-04 15:30:57 -0600

I just want to say how lucky I feel to have a husband who is totally supportive in our battle against type 2 diabetes. He has become an avid label reader with me at the grocery store, and has learned what to look for when I'm too high or too low. I hope all of you have a strong support system at home as well.

13 replies

Harlen 2012-11-05 18:16:48 -0600 Report

I know what you mean my wife is the same way
It is nice to have some one stand with you .
Hope your day is a great one

nanagramma 2012-11-05 12:35:22 -0600 Report

JustJoyce: I am glad that you are self-sufficient and don't feel the need for a support system. I too have been self sufficient for the 20 years I have been diabetic, but knowing that my husband cares enough to keep an eye on my health and to learn how to support me. It's his battle too!

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2012-11-10 17:48:37 -0600 Report

I have a support system of friends and family members, I just don't use it unless I have to do so. My sister is not diabetic so this isn't her battle nor do I put it on her. It is good you have that support. There are people with no support at all which I think is sad. However, I look at it this way. If you keep leaning on people for support then they will avoid you at all cost because they want you to stand on your own. I am not very receptive to pats on the back and my support system knows this. I will gladly listen to them and help them when I can and if I need to beat some sense into them to get them to take care of themselves, and try to do it without daily help, I will do that also. You support system can vanish so you have to learn to stand on your own two feet.

Fefe12 2012-11-05 01:10:26 -0600 Report

I too am blessed with a husband who has stood beside me on this journey. He goes with me to my doc appts and is alway asking how I feel or if I need anything. Im very grateful. As the main cook in the family everyone eats what I eat so Im on top of that.

SandySilvers 2012-11-04 18:03:19 -0600 Report

I have the same kind of husband! He has thrown himself into this with me and has walked beside me every step of the way. He even eats all of the same things that I do…even though he doesn't need to. I feel so fortunate and blessed to have him right there beside me!!

tabby9146 2012-11-04 15:32:59 -0600 Report

you are very blessed indeed/ i have a good husband, but he doesn't really care about my diabetes. He did at first, and I was always doing pretty well, so over time, he just doesn't seem to care. I rarely ever talk about it anymore He is always saying, oh eat that, it won't hurt you, etc.. even after going to 2 classes with me, (this was nearly 4 yrs ago, the classes) so he knows the importance of eating right and all about it. You are very lucky.

nanagramma 2012-11-05 12:38:19 -0600 Report

Tabby9146: I am sorry that your husband doesn't understand how important his role as supporter to you is. Hang in there- don't let his attitude throw you off track. Let us, your new diabetes friends, be a support system for you!

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2012-11-10 17:59:26 -0600 Report

Nana unfortunately at times, family can be your worse enemy. Her husband may never support her in this. He could feel left out because she gets the attention, he may not accept her disease and he can't come to terms with it. Until he does, he may never support her. Which is why you have to learn to be your own support system. Never rely on anyone to support you in life because it doesn't always happen.

My father was that way. However, when mom was sick he was right there for her. When I had eye surgery, I woke up and he was holding my hand. When I had hand surgery, I told him he didn't have to go to the hospital with me but he came to pick me up and went into a panic because he couldn't find me.

People can also support you in ways you don't see. For all any of knows, he could be praying everyday that tabby will be ok. Tabby is going to be okay because she knows we will be supportive of her. At least I know I will be there if she needs me.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2012-11-05 10:28:44 -0600 Report

Tabby this is why I always say be your own support system. When you do that, you don't have to depend on anyone supporting you. It is good to have support however, when there isn't any support you do it yourself. Your husband my not have accepted the fact that you are diabetic. He may never accept it. You could very well be wasting your time waiting for him to become supportive. As long as he doesn't accept that you have diabetes the better it is for him. He has to work through this and the odds are he may never get through it. He has the "Head in the Sand" syndrome which means as long as he doesn't see it, hear it or say it, it isn't happening in his world. Just like you are doing what is best for you and your diabetes, he is doing what is best for his mental state. He could also fear that because you have it, it could happen to him.

Diabetes is your problem and he is making sure it isn't his problem. As long as it is your problem he chooses to not make it a problem the two of you can share. If he is telling you to eat something it won't hurt you, don't eat it and ignore he said it. Why not try fixing foods that only you can eat and see what he says to that? You could also ask him why he is doing this and why he isn't supportive of you. Don't be shocked or surprised if he doesn't have an answer because he may not have one. Don't be shocked or surprised by the answer he gives you. He could be blatantly honest with his feelings and his feelings are just that how he feels.

I am self sufficient, self motivating and self supportive when it comes to my diabetes and I have a support system that I almost never use. My friends and family members who are diabetic rarely talk about it because we all are self supporting and don't depend on anyone to remind us to take medicine, test, or to tell us what we can or cannot eat. We are happy diabetics.

Fefe12 2012-11-05 01:13:10 -0600 Report

Oh please remind him of the things that can happen to you if you dont watch you food intake. Tell him that if your bs goes out of wack that your health can be compromised and HE will be taking care of you. Better yet let him read some of these posts to see how important this is. Maybe he thought this would just end and things would get better. You have to remind him this is most likely forever.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2012-11-05 10:07:16 -0600 Report

Fefe you really can't make someone be supportive or care about you regardless of who that person is. Who says he is going to take care of her? Some people simply cannot handle another persons health problems and spouses have been known to divorce a sick spouse. A coworkers husband divorced her after a double mastectomy because he said he has not intention of ever being married to anyone who has any kind of disease.

Her husband may not have accepted she has a disease and he may never accept it. He has been to two classes with her and still telling her something won't hurt her. This says that until he comes to terms with how he feels about her diabetes, he is never going to be supportive.