I'm starting over. I celebrated my 1 year anniversary with no major fan fair. Truth be told, only me and the hubby knew. Not that my kids wouldn't have been involved, but because I didn't make a big deal about it, they didn't either.
So there in lies the question, why didn't I make a big deal about it?
I guess you can all deduce the answer…I stopped.
Stopped testing, exercising, charting, even going to my appointments.
Okay, to be fair and not all of you knew this. But my computer was wiped out and I lost all of the BG and food data that I had on my computer. Replacing that, (the BG data anyways), was a mother., but I did it.
But then I made the mistake of asking myself, "why is this necessary?". It's a legitimate question but if you're not ready to answer the question honestly then the answer can be misleading, lacking, even stupid.
I say that I made the mistake because I also asked myself, "Do I really need to do this on a regular basis?". My answer to myself was "Nope". So for the past few months that I haven't been with you guys and gals, I've been allowing the "don't cares" to run my life.
I'll be honest, and the hubby strongly suggested that I do so with you guys, I almost gave up. No watching what I eat, no exercise, no reg checks with my doc, and no lvl check, or even shots…that last one was hard to admit but it is true. I did give up. I wish I knew why. The excuse I've given my husband the past few times that he's asked is that I'm on vacation from my ailment.
Truth is, I don't know why. While I'm not willing to succumb to this annoyance, I will admit to going through a phase of blissful ignorance. Sorry guys but it is what it was.
Then a couple of weeks ago I decided to test, 300+…yeah!!! Talk about a wake-up call!!! Since then I have been testing regularly and eating better. As a result, I'm finding myself at lvl 150-160 morning BG's. Could be worse, but certainly not even close to where I used to be.
I say all this to say, for those of you who find yourself in my shoes and thinking it will work itself out in the in…no!!
I will admit, I did become a bit obsessed with it all, but there is a middle ground. The tricky part is finding yours. I found myself at a disconnect, but stopping everything is not the answer either. Acquire as much information as you can get but then only apply what works for you, to your situation.
I actually found mine but allowed the breakdown of my computer to give me an excuse to basically give up.
THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS: This is not a disease that you can allow to get the better of you. It's sneaky, deceitful, and indiscriminating. Young. old, middle, no race, no creed, no lifestyle is safe. The only way to fight it is to not give it a fighting chance.
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