Pity Me...Not!

By MAYS Latest Reply 2012-10-23 18:02:50 -0500
Started 2012-10-17 09:55:32 -0500

I know that a diagnosis of ANY chronic disease can be both confusing and draining on the individual.

I also know that it's also up to the individual to manage THEIR diabetes!

Diabetes care, ans management is not something that can be placed on the shoulders of others (unless you are a caregiver caring for another) it is YOUR responsibility.

It's nice to have a support system, but why complain about the size or the limit of your support system?
You have to be supportive of yourself when it comes to managing your diabetes, waiting for others to care MORE for you and YOUR condition is, simply put, SELFISH!

Am i being too hard?

As diabetics, maybe we want, or expect much more from outside sources than we should expect, that desire, dedication and commitment should come from within.
It is so easy to pity yourself, blame your doctors for NOT treating you as you feel you should be treated (actually most people want their doctors to "cure" their diabetes), expect others to feel what they feel, life just does not work that way!

Everyone has SOMETHING that they have to deal with, something that must be taken care of, something that moves higher up on the list of priority in their life.
For those of us who have been "blessed" with diabetes place that blessing where it belongs, in YOUR pocket!

In life, YOU do not pass YOUR blessings and gifts received along to others.
It's much more important for YOU to understand YOUR diabetes and to manage it, by doing so YOU will reap the benefits…"You reap what you sow" …pity excluded!

25 replies

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2012-10-23 13:25:51 -0500 Report

MAYS, you have an incredibily empowered attitude. I call this facing life on life's terms, and staying optimistic!

MAYS 2012-10-23 18:02:50 -0500 Report

Thank you, Dr. Gary, I believe that one should take control of a situation when it concerns one's health and well being, excuses are fine, comforting for some, but does it help with solving tha problem?, not at all, but it feels good although it isn't!

We all want what's best for us, but sometimes we have to make those wants turn into reality and it starts with personal ownership (good or bad) of that of which we either do, or don't do in our lives.
We can neither succeed, nor fail if we do not try, as much as it may hurt trying builds character and self esteem within people and as diabetics we know how hard it is at times to stay positive and focused on our health daily.

Once again, thanks for the compliment and keep the discussions and support coming!


Fefe12 2012-10-23 02:14:05 -0500 Report

Im new to this website. I was diagnosed a year ago. Im coming from an different angle and when i first joined this site i wondered how it would help me. Ive managed my diabetes from the beginning. The diagnosis saved my life. So my attitude about it has to be a good one. When i get to feeling down i have half a cookie. It dosnt take me long to get out of that mood. Have i shed tears, sure but not many. I have too much to live for. I really enjoy food and have fun searching for new tastes to try. I adjusted my amount of carbs and do just fine. I see my docs regularly and my diebetic educator keeps me on track. I no longer take insulin only pills. I keep my numbers between 70-140. I rarely go too high or low. I excersise and dont gain weight. I have to manage myself and own my disease. It belongs to me and i wont let it bully me or control my life. I control it. Life is good!

jigsaw 2012-10-22 09:27:53 -0500 Report

MAYS, you make a crucial point here that is sooo valuable !
By the way, I am on my way to a clinic to personally get a past pathololgy report from some past procedures that were performed on me. My primary care physician keeps putting it off , or forgetting. It concerns my health, so I'll get the records myself ! Why wait.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2012-10-18 11:19:23 -0500 Report

Excellent post Mays. People have to take control of their own diabetes. It is yours own it and accept it. Don't depend on you family, extended family, friends or anyone else to keep you in line or remind you to test, eat properly, exercise or take your medicine. No one can get you through your highs and lows but you.

Communicate with your doctor for medical advice. Friends, family members and strangers do not know or may know what medications you are taking. They may or may not know what to do if you blood sugars are low or high. Asking for advice about holistic medications, vitamins, diets including liquid diets, medications or anything involving your health could cause you great harm. Just because someone you know is doing these things or someone on this site is doing it does not mean it is good for you to attempt without first asking your doctor.

In a conversation with a woman I know, she bragged about how her husband takes care of her. He pays the bills, takes the car to the shop, has repairs to their home taken care of, helps clean and cook. I looked at her and smiled and said oh how sweet. Should he drop dead today, who is going to take care of you tomorrow? She looked at me totally shocked and to this day can't answer the question. I absolutely refuse to be a helpless woman who relies on anyone to take care of me.

I have a support system in place should I need it. If my blood sugar is low or high, what are they going to do about it? Nothing. If I forgot to take my medicine or test, what are they going to do about it? Nothing. If I eat the wrong things or don't exercise, there is nothing they can physically do about it. When I talk to members of my support team which is on a regular basis, we talk about trying a recipe or someone might ask if a food caused my blood sugar to rise. Other than that we basically don't talk about diabetes.

When it comes to your health you are the only one responsible for it. Your support system may care but it isn't them and your health may not be at the top of their list of priorities. When I cared for my parents, I did what it took to keep them as healthy as possible. Their health was at the top of my list of priorities. It was tiresome but I did it. This is your life, not mine, your husbands, your children's or your freinds. Like Smokey the Bear says "Only you can prevent forest fires" well only you and no one but you can take care of you health and your life.

Set apart
Set apart 2012-10-18 05:50:19 -0500 Report

I totally agree Mays, sometimes I think self pity leads to wanting that attention. People with diabetes are lucky to some extent upon diagnosis we can either choose to try to control it and stay on top of it! My D belongs to me not my husband, family,or friends. I do what I have to to take care of it, I choose to live and make it my responsibiliy. I don't lay in bed wondering if my husband is going to tell me it's time for my shot, I get up take to take care of it! if I would depend on others I am not sure they would know what to do! I try to educate those around to learn about D, and I do get a lot of people that say, "I never knew so much about D, till you.". That's a good thing, hopefully they'll never have to live with it! Thanks again!

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2012-10-18 11:25:17 -0500 Report

I totally agree with you Set. I am not one to attend the self pity party. I totally agree that those in self pity over times are only wanting attention. You also have those seeking sympathy. I don't buy into that either because this is all that they want and too many people are sympathy seekers. Every little thing in life bothers them and they thrive only after their sob story brings them tons of attention. When that attention wanes, they move on to the next thing. It is like a drug their highs and lows are based on the amount of attention they get.

I certainly am not going to lay in bed wondering if my sister is going to ask me if I am going to eat or take my medicine. I get up and do what I need to do. This is my health, my life and I am responsible for it.

Nick1962 2012-10-17 18:01:57 -0500 Report

Excellent points there Mays. The only thing I would add would be to take a "reality check". For so many of us T2's, this is very easily controlled, but for some reason, we just can't seem to bring ourselves to the point where we will actually give up many of the foods or habits that prevent us from getting control.

Jordan Belfort said it best "The only thing standing between you and your goal is the BS (and I don't mean blood sugar) stories you keep telling yourself as to why you can't achieve it."

Sure there are many different types of diabetes, and it's not always a simple case of "don't put that in your mouth", but living in a comfort zone to make yourself feel better does nothing to insure you'll keep doing it. I get there is a mental aspect we all have to overcome, but if you cut yourself and are bleeding, would you refuse to use a bandage just because you don't like the way it feels when you take it off? Of course not. You'd use one to stop the bleeding, prevent infection, and to avoid a nasty scar.

The reality check comes in when you're diagnosed. How bad is it? Are you just a little out of "normal" range or is it life threatening? Like you say, any diagnosis of a chronic condition is a shock, and especially when there is so little explanation about it like we see here. Ten points out of normal range is no gaurantee you'll lose a leg. In fact, it usually just means cutting out a few slices of bread or reining in the portion sizes of a few things. However, an A1c of 9 or better, yes, now it's time to get a whole lot more serous. Diabetes is to be taken seriously, but not always taken to heart, so we need to react accordingly.

Last, your daily numbers. Lets just assume that they're off right from the start. I mean you're only testing one drop out of an average of 10 pints of blood. If you don't like the number, test again and I gaurantee it will change. It is only a guide to show you trends, and your A1c will tell the real story. If you ate something, and hit 200, don't eat that again, or eat less of it. Not the end of the world unless you stay there for 3 hours or more or drop like a stone afterward. One raindrop doesn't ruin a picnic, don't let one drop of blood ruin your attitude toward control.

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