This is very annoying to me!

By Nana_anna Latest Reply 2012-10-23 13:49:25 -0500
Started 2012-10-14 09:56:31 -0500

I wish that my husband would get educated along with me on Diabetes. That would sure solve allot of our misinformations and confusion. I have been educating myself, when I don't know what to do. I either call my Dr. office and they get back to me. I follow their advice. Then I let my husband know what they say. We both still struggle when it comes to a diabetics diet. He doesn't understand allot about carbs. I try to tell him, that he needs to buy more of this or that. Sometime's it gets so irritating with him. Because he tends to still buy unhealthy foods. Little of what healthy foods that I can eat. Its very discouraging to me. Often times I have to remind him that I am running low on insulin. That is a biggy. I need that. I can't go without it. I wish he would just understand that, and not find out from the the Dr. in a mean way, that I cannot be off of insulin at anytime. It gets down to the point where if my numbers are high enough that I have to go to the ER and be admitted. Then my husband is good about my insulin for a while. Than its back to the same thing. It is very annoying. This is partly why I wish I had a job, so I can keep up on my own meds. Its not easy. This isn't something that can be ignored.

34 replies

Nana_anna 2012-10-23 13:49:25 -0500 Report

Thanks everyone! You all crack me up lol! If I had the money/means to do it I would. I am stuck, and have no family here, that can help me. I have a plan B, believe u me. I am going to follow through on it. I wishe it was sooner than later. My life would be a whole lot better without this crap it in. I thank you for sharing your thoughts! I will keep you posted. I do believe there will be a hugh change in the future. For Mays,…house work doesn't do that trick lol!

Fefe12 2012-10-23 02:41:04 -0500 Report

Are you home bound? Why does he have the resposibility to do this all for you? If i can take it off his shoulders do it. If not, go to a diabetic educator instead of a doctor. Ask him why he is resisting listening to you. He may be grieving your loss of "good health" Shop together, fix dinner together, have fun together. Discovering new foods to enjoy and new recipes can be fun. Try holding his face in your hands and tell him how much you love him and how much you need him. This wasnt a planned journey but you can get thru it together. If he listens good, if not then you will have to take back your care and hope he follows

pontufex 2012-10-19 23:19:49 -0500 Report

I personally make it a habit not to rely an anyone but myself. People are the worst kind of beast, try and communicate with them and one might as well talk to a wall. Having been married, I made it a point to communicate nothing about my health to my wife. For one, it was my health not hers, and I wasn't going to have her dragging a rake through the muck and cloud up the water, and secondly I know how mind numbing it is to hear about someones health problems over and over again, having lived under the same roof as my mother for seventeen years. I can't talk to her for five minutes without her bring up her health, which is why we don't talk that often. Frankly I would rather torture myself with a spoon before listening to that day after day. That's one great thing about the internet, I can disconnect from it anytime I want and not have to think about the wrath of a person ticked off at me for not listening…People REALLY are the worst kind of beast.
Another point to make from my personal experience is that expecting someone else to live the same lifestyle as yourself is bomb ready to go off. If he buys unhealthy foods, let him, you need to focus on you first and foremost, not his expanding waist line. Also taking out your frustration on him isn't helping matters one bit, if anything it's creating a wedge that is being driven deeper and deeper every time you make a disparaging remark. If you need something do, you need to find a way to do it yourself and not lay the task before your husband, who from the sounds of it is getting tired of being molded to fit what you think he should be. My ex tried to mold me, and I fought back. I am who I am and that's all there is to it, and to try and shape someone in the image you think they should be is not just wrong, but in my opinion, criminal.
The day humanity understands the sexes are different, and realizes they think differently will be a great day, but until then we have to deal with the problems that come up one at a time, and forget about relying on others. I have no intentions ever to remarry, as far as I'm concerned marriage should be made illegal, but hey that's just me.

By the way, I have no problem with my communication skills. The venom flows just as freely as the honey.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2012-10-19 19:22:47 -0500 Report

Anna maybe he wants to help but really hasn't been able to understand all of your needs. You cannot force a person to educate themselves on anything. If you are able to do so, why not go shopping with him and show him what he should be buying for both of you to eat and things he likes to have. Make it enjoyable for both of you. Also check to see if the stores pharmacy has a diabetic walk in the store. Some of our stores have this. A dietitian takes diabetics on a tour of the store and discusses the kinds of foods you can or cannot eat. If so go and take him with you.

If he feels the food in the house is only for you he may resent that. He may also be tired of hearing what you and the doctor have discussed. Over time a person gets tired of hear about someone's illness. It doesn't mean they don't care it means simply stop talking about it all the time. This does not mean he doesn't support you, it means he is simply tired of hearing about your illness all the time. He very well could be thinking does she care about how I feel?

Your being irritated with him isn't helping either of you. I understand your frustration but are you understanding his. He may be feeling he can't do anything right for you. If you constantly berate him he will do the same as children will do, try to please you to no avail and this makes them feel like a failure. Put yourself in his shoes and think about how it would feel if it were him berating you for not doing what he needs for his health. Keep in mind men are not always concerned about health issues. Too many men do not go to the doctors unless you drag them kicking and screaming.

Set apart
Set apart 2012-10-17 05:53:16 -0500 Report

I can't believe I am doing this, but I am going to defend your husband and support you at the same time. Men are different when it comes to certain things, (nothing personal), but they are. The first thing I would do is set a schedule as to when he will need to get your insulin, maybe write it down. I wouldn't wait till I am almost out or have none altogether! Writing things down for me works maybe on a to do list or a calendar! This may avoid you becoming annoyed. I would do the same thing with list if things to buy, what is it that you need and not leave it up in the air! Not sure if he will ever understand about carbs, my husband still offers me a bite of "donut" once in a while. Hope this helps!

grandmacinda 2012-10-17 03:07:48 -0500 Report

Remember you not having insulin is a life or death matter, That is not a choice. He has to understand the importance of your medication.

cherylwillard 2012-10-15 10:49:44 -0500 Report

Sweetheart, you need to have a serious sit-down talk with your husband. If you rely on him that completely, you need to be assured that he's going to do his part. Either that, or make sure he's providing you with the ability to fend for yourself. Your best bet is to let him know in no uncertain terms that he is contributing to long term difficulties that arise from poorly controlled diabetes. Find some internet articles and print them out, leave them where he usually sits down to relax. Be firm but loving, appeal to his desire to support and provide, if possible. Good luck, dear, this is your life, not just a hobby, make sure he knows that. Again, firm but loving.

Next Discussion: BS dropped after eating »