What Are Your Greatest Fears About this Illness

By Latest Reply 2008-12-16 07:30:05 -0600
Started 2008-11-25 13:22:54 -0600

I really need an answer to this, I feel I like we are in a dream and do not really know what to expect from diabetes. Now all of a sudden, I am afraid, and need to ask. What can happen to you, esp, if you can not keep diabetes under control. Although, so far he is doing well; I need to know what we may be looking at in the future.

37 replies

John Crowley
John CrowleyCA 2008-12-15 10:27:20 -0600 Report

As a parent of a type 1 child, I have many fears. But the greatest fear is that I will either worry too much about my relationship with my son and not be aggressive enough in managing the diabetes OR I will push him so much on managing diabetes that I will damage our relationship.

Some days it feels like an impossible balancing act. That's my worry.

2008-12-15 20:47:10 -0600 Report

John; all you can do for your son, you are doing, and you are making him a better son for it. No matter what you think will happen to your relationship; keep in mind "Will only make you both stronger" and at the end of the day he will still be grateful and love you just as much, if not more. He knows how important he is to you; I am sure you have told him that. And I am also sure that he knows that you are only trying to help him survive this illness the best you know how. If he is angry at times, I am sure it is because of having to live with the illness. and not you. Chin up and keep doing what you have been. "luv lilmarm'

Debe Pendice
Debe Pendice 2008-12-16 06:37:20 -0600 Report

I know for a fact what I put my parents through as a child with diabetes. To this day even through the hard times as a teenager, I never told them I know they were doing everything for my health they could. Sometimes I blamed them for being born. I look back today and can't believe how hard I was on them. They only had my best interest in their eyes. But today, with my Mother still living, she is my best friend and I can't begine to thank her and my family for all they have been through. I actually put them through hell and back, but they never let me go through anything myself. Yours sons respect for you and your wife are way above your expectations. Its so hard being the diabetic when you as a parent don't have it. Many of times my parents would always say I wish I had it and you didn't, I have no clue what your going through. You are well respected and may not think so but deep down Your are probably your sons "HERO"…Debe

2008-12-16 07:30:05 -0600 Report

Debe, I totally agree, if Johns' son does not see it now, believe me he will; have patients John, and also I have to say I have the fear of the unknown as well, and often that keeps me from trying something new such as meds, drs. etc. Claudia

BarryE 2008-12-08 10:04:06 -0600 Report

I am afraid of what the complications of our illness may do even with good control. I fear going blind, losing a limb and such. The only thing keeping me sane and fighting is my wonderful wife and my strong belief in God. Right now it's scaring me that since being told by my doctor that I have neuropathy and being confirmed by my podiatrist, that it seems to be advancing to my hands now.


2008-12-09 05:06:42 -0600 Report

As the wife of someone who has this illness,() who also lost her mother to diabetes, I fear I will lose my husband the same way.

2008-12-15 07:13:19 -0600 Report

I fear not being accepted for who I am, and not judged by my illness.

2catty 2008-12-03 15:04:50 -0600 Report

Just leaving my baby. He is 3 and I need him very much. But at 3 he depends on my for everything. And he is very close to me. But at the same time he is my motivation for doing the right things in every aspect of my life.

Terbear 2008-12-08 09:58:06 -0600 Report

All four of my grandparents were diabetic - 2 of them insulin dependent and my grandmother died of complications from diabetes - she became septic after an above knee amputation. So - I always knew that diabetes was coming my way and have been watching out for it most of my life. Thank God that I don't crave sweets! I was diagnosed about 3 yrs ago &
had very little guidance from my doctor -changed docs in August & can not say enough wonderful things about my new doc - she has set me on the right path.
Diet, excercise (although I am not religious with it), an active life and a
positive attitude - I have lost 35 lbs - still need to lose about 20 more - but am working on it. My fear is that if I don't take an active part in controlling my diabetes that I will end up with all the complications that my grandmother did and when I think of that - it is enough to keep me motivated. I also refuse to let diabetes define who I am - I am still me - I am doing the driving here. Good luck everyone!

2008-12-08 16:52:19 -0600 Report

I SYMPATHIZE COMPLETELY; I lost my mom, it started with diabetes, then kidney, liver and 4 or so amputations after she broke her hip and once operated on could not get rid of the infection. It is oh so scary, everyday, so we do what we have to to survive, and now we have the help of friends, which is a lot different then a dozen years ago when my mom died. I did not even think of searching the web for info back then, so just imagine how far we have come, Good luck and keep up the good work. Claudia

GabbyPA 2008-12-03 13:44:03 -0600 Report

I think the unknown is what I fear the most.

I am resiliant and I know that I will deal with whatever comes my way. I might have a pitty party at first, but I will grind it down. So the wondering and the thought of things that MIGHT happen is what can keep me up at night. How in the world would my husband take care of me? I take care of him now...it would not be good.

So with those things in mind, I continue to strive to get control and do the things I know will help. That is all I can do. What fate deals me is what I have to accept. Worry, tears and anger will not change it.

Goddess 2008-12-03 13:57:01 -0600 Report

You have such a great attitude. I wish it could rub off on me.

GabbyPA 2008-12-03 14:49:57 -0600 Report

I have always been of the mind set that the things in life happen for a reason. It is not my job to complain about why it happened to me, but to learn why it happened to me and what I am supposed to do with it.

I find that the things I go thru in life are often the things I use to reach out to others. It gives me the ability to relate to their tribulations, though I myself may not have the same situations, I am still able to understand better.

I'm not always that way and there are people who I will never understand. But that is all part of what makes life interesting. If I udnderstood everything, there would be no adventure. If I knew everything...everyone would hate me. LOL.

Seriously, I am a believer in the seasons of life and all the wonders they hold. Some are horrific, but if we live to tell about them, then we are stronger. Some are touching and cultivate empathy. Some are down right stupid and I am not sure what I am supposed to do with those except put them on my "do NOT do list"...but it is all there for some reason, you just have to find the purpous. It is there, if you are willing to look for it.

Sometimes it is very revealing, and shows me that I am not such a nice person or that I did some terribly wrong thing to someone I love. The key is humility to know that and work thru it, make it right and move on. No regrets.

If you really want those things to rub off on you, hang out with people who are that way. Don't surround yourself with negative thinking or complaining people. That will rub off on you as well, so you just have to choose what you want to rub on.

Goddess 2008-12-03 15:01:30 -0600 Report

I want the positive not the negative. The negative just keeps you down. The positive makes you happy.

GabbyPA 2008-12-03 15:05:54 -0600 Report

See, there you are. You are going in the right direction...it will come. It takes a mind set, some changes in attitude, but it will come.

Goddess 2008-12-03 12:43:57 -0600 Report

Going blind, Not seeing my grand children grow up, amputation those are the one I can think of now. Might add more later on.

montainman 2008-12-03 13:06:47 -0600 Report

Going blind is my greatest fear although I am tested every year.

highlandcitygirl 2008-12-03 13:27:05 -0600 Report

just as soon not go blind! that would take away one of the things i enjoy most. looking at nature.

2catty 2008-12-03 15:00:09 -0600 Report

I know what you mean I love doing nature photography. If I went blind I don't think my pictures would turn out to good. Do you?

pink1985 2008-12-03 12:28:17 -0600 Report

I am afraid my mom will die before she can see her grandchildren grow up. I am afraid I will get the complications she has with the neuropathy and will not be able to get around. I try everyday to make better food choices and exercise and do all I can to be tighter in control.

DJ 2008-12-03 12:19:49 -0600 Report

My biggest fear…being alone!! It is just me and my Hubby, and he is not at the top health wise, but healthier than me..I can't invision myself dealing with this life all by myself..I have grown kids but they all have their own lives, and I taught them to be self relient,(hmmmm..wonder why I did that..LOL). I would never want to be a burden on anyone, and that thought scares me silly!!I have always been a strong self relient person, but I have come to rely on my Husband to be my rock, my foundation where this condition is concerned..and just can't wrap my head around a world with-out him..this is what scares me the most..not death, or blindness, or pain…I pray I go before him, just because I know he will be fine if I do, but if he goes before me I know I won't be able to cope with any of this Diabetes stuff.

kdroberts 2008-11-30 20:50:35 -0600 Report

There are lots of potential complications from diabetes. Some are well known, some are often overlooked. Cardiovascular problems, blindness/eye damage, kidney damage leading to dialysis, nerve damage commonly in fingers and toes but can be any nerves and can cause serious problems if it hits your digestive tract for instance, tooth problems (it can literally dissolve the bones in your jaw) to name a few. High blood sugar can and will mess with every part of your body since the blood flows to every part.

The good news is that it's never too late. Keeping tight control can stop the progression, stop it happening at all, maybe even reverse what's already happened. Just remember, things can always get worse but by controlling blood sugar you can control when it stops or how fast it progresses and regardless of what's happened, good control will always help in some way.

Just to add. You would be foolish not to be scared about complications. Diabetes isn't a joke and has very real consequences. You can accept and respect the consequences but being scared is not a bad thing.

Leigh Marsden
Leigh Marsden 2008-12-01 20:52:24 -0600 Report

Excellent feedback Robert!!!

I am having so many issues because of my diabetis. The one that scares me the most, is living the rest of my life blind. I just learned a few months ago, I have cataracts in both eyes. I have to go to optometry every 3 months now. I have neuropathy and kidney damage has been done. There are many things that can be scary. I think my concern is how my health and dependancy that awaits will have to be a burden on the people that I love the most in the world. I don't want to cause that much pain on any of them. Due to this, I am putting my best foot forward to rectify this situation to my best ability. Not to mention that I love me.

Being afraid is a great incentative tool to achieving control over your diabetis. Use that feeling as a way to direct your path.

Your Friend, Leigh

2008-12-01 21:10:39 -0600 Report

My biggest fear in the beginning was going blind so every time didn't want to go for a walk or get on the treadmill, I pictured myself walking with a white cane or a seeing eye dog… GOT ME MOVING IN A HURRY!!! Now, while I'm still fearful of complications, I know that it's up to me to avoid or at least delay them as best I can. So it's best foot forward every day at least every day is the goal, I'm by no means perfect. I'm still recovering from surgery so I'm chomping at the bit to get back to exercising and swimming. It's snowing here now and icy so I can't walk outside anymore for fear of slipping on the ice (doctors orders) so I'm lifting 2 lb weights and walking around the house all day. My cats think I've gone mad LOL

Debe Pendice
Debe Pendice 2008-12-01 21:22:36 -0600 Report

I myself have been more or less house bound this past 1 1/2 years. I too walking with a cane and assistance around the kitchen table. I been doing hand weights to. I was just wandering, if you cat thinks your crazy I can't even imagine what he would think of me! (LOL)…Debe

2008-12-01 23:34:23 -0600 Report

1 1/2 yrs? Oh my how do you keep your sanity? I've been home a month and I'm about to go insane… (hence the cats thinking I already have lol) I can't do anything that involves heavy lifting even vaccuuming and my favorite thing to do is cook and bake and I don't need that stuff hanging around when I'm bored, I'd eat it all!! So I watch tv, watch movies, read, come on here, walk in circles, talk to my cats, talk to my son when he'll listen to me lol Oh boy I truly have gone mad!!!
Happy days to you..

Debe Pendice
Debe Pendice 2008-12-02 03:30:24 -0600 Report

Judy, After my transplant I lapsed into a coma 44 days. I loss all the muscle mass in my body. After 3 months of hospitalization, I was sent to a rehabilitation hospital where it took me 8 weeks just to stand with the help of 2 people. I have been in physical therapy all this time. I have when through every stage of denial, but right now I getting back to the road to recovery. Hang in there. I am lucky I have a very good family and friends around to get me there. Sometimes I am surprised they all put up with me. Better days ahead…Debe

buttercup82401 2008-11-30 19:57:52 -0600 Report

It may silly to some and not to others, I am not afraid of dying. I'm really waiting for the day that my maker calls me home!!! However, I would miss my 8 kids and 4 grandbabies thus far. And not to mentioned my wonderful husband.

2008-11-26 08:27:06 -0600 Report

I guess I need for us to take a more serious control of our illnesses. I try hard, but I tend to put husbands health first; while mine is gradually dwindling. Thanks for all your input and help.:->0Claudia

2008-11-25 18:08:23 -0600 Report

I also have cardiac problems and some other problems; so I am scared, and I am scared of dying and leaving my daughter and husband. My parents both died early; one of cardiac arrest, The other from complications with her diabetes. I have both, that is really scary, He was 52 and she was 62 and I am 56; right about in the middle. I guess I should not look at that, and keep going onward

Magdalynn 2008-11-25 22:20:27 -0600 Report

Please take heart…Diabetes need'nt be the boogie man under the bed. Being afraid is quite normal.I don't know if it's the Diabetes we are afraid of or is it our feelings of lack of control?I know that when I was able to define what this disease was,my fears went away. I am not a Diabetic.. I am Magdalynn who happens to have Diabetes..I am so many other things.I refuse to define my self by a stupid auto-immune disease that I happened to get. Works for me..Doesn't make my control any better but helps my perspective

Bluebutterfly 2008-11-25 17:09:33 -0600 Report

I am most afraid of having a stroke and it leaving me to the point I can't take care of myself or my family.My Dad worked hard all his life and he did have diabetes . He died at sixty-two from so many strokes.I am sixty-two now.

sparkysmom 2008-11-25 13:29:50 -0600 Report

This sounds silly but I am afraid of dying. My Mom was type 1 all her life and died when she was 42. I'm 54 now and scared. My diabetes scaes me even more than my Heart.

Debe Pendice
Debe Pendice 2008-11-25 15:51:58 -0600 Report

One of my fears is not dying but leaving my mother home alone by herself. We just buried my niece, mu father and my brother in the last 10 years. thats not counting 2 of her brother too. I don't know how much more she can handle. She is my caretaker now since my condition became more compelled by complications. I wish I was taking care of her instead of her taking care of me…Debe