"Sharing a Hug! When is the best time to give a hug?

By Ms. DAT Latest Reply 2012-10-08 20:18:41 -0500
Started 2012-09-27 11:36:51 -0500

Hugging is an expression of showing empathy, compassion, support, concern, however, giving a hug out of sympathy is not an positive expression.

What do you think about giving and receiving hugs?

I have experienced reaching out to give a hug and was pushed away or given a quick handshake of which accepted. What about you?

Is it true that in some cultures it is offensive to give someone a hug?

So what would you do if you had such an experience even in everyday life with other diabetics?
Here in the DC community/family it is just like you and I being present in person to give and receive hugs!

120 replies

Ms. DAT 2012-10-08 20:18:41 -0500 Report

Speaking of sharing a hug!

Today I had a friend call who was in distress and I was too prior to the call, shedding tears I laid down to calm myself. However I left my distress behind to meet a friend stranded on the side of freeway so I walked to her rescue.

I reached out to another friend who called her son to help my friend stranded on the freeway. When my friend looked up and saw me walking up the freeway ramp and when I got up close she gave me a hug on the side of the freeway( oh no funny stuff) Haha!!! I said to myself now this is a new experience right here but it didn't matter as long as I was safe and ensured my friends safety. I also hugged the guys who I met for the first time saying.Thank You!! along with some compensation.

Oh by the way this friend also have diabetes so I looked at friend and said, "you need something to drink"! I refused to buy soda so I bought tea for both of us. We had a moment of laughter about the thought of us two being out here and diabetics thirsty and hungry in the hot sun and stranded!!!!

God made away and everything worked out well for my friend who's home getting rested and preparing to eat. The guys was happy to help and feeling blessed to have been available.

Often times the right time to give a hug is in distress and being a comfort and being proactive to get the ball rolling until results happen.

That call helped lift my spirit and I gave out and received friendly hugs!!

MAYS 2012-10-08 14:01:25 -0500 Report

Yes, in some cultures hugs are offensive, yet in others they are a very acceptable form of greeting, even when giving a "virtual hug" one should try to be very observant about the culture of the individual to whom you would like to give the hug to.
Something as simple as a hug can have a different meaning among individuals.

Ms. DAT 2012-10-08 19:52:04 -0500 Report

Mays Well said !! It is true what you say about hugs, even "virtual hugs" because some people interpret the wrong way. I really do my best to be culturally oriented.

Set apart
Set apart 2012-10-06 07:47:18 -0500 Report

I love hugs and love to give them to others; however, I am cautious about some individuals who are not huggers. Sometimes I feel like maybe they weren't hugged enough growing up and although they may really need a hug they'll never admit it! I always need hugs and especially since D, so hugs to all here on DC.

Libra1969 2012-10-02 11:20:37 -0500 Report

I am a hugger myself and do understand that there are some that are not, so if I get a vibe from someone that they may night like to hug or have you in their personal space, I ask them if I can give them a hug. If not then a simple hand shake will suffice, it is still the act of human touch, and to me, that is an awesome thing. Hug on…

Ms. DAT 2012-10-02 03:23:11 -0500 Report

I like Jo K's expression about how this conversation about" hugging" has turned into talking about food we once loved to eat such as Hot German Potato Salad which is another way to support one another which warms the heart as well, especially since we are diabetics!
I have laughed so much in this one hour so know I can rest because we have showed different expressions of empathy, compassion, support and concern.
I know many of you have laughed as well!!

jaf76 2012-09-30 14:01:54 -0500 Report

I am a very emotional type of person. I think hugs are good and can warm the heart when someone is low. I send hug out to you. It is true that in some cultures that a hug is disrespectful. I think it also depends on the person who is about to receive the hug and the situation. God bless

Ms. DAT 2012-10-02 02:06:33 -0500 Report

Thank You Jaf!
It's never too late to receive a hug!! Yes I agree with Jaf and Red Flower lady that it depends on the person giving and receiving as well as the situation.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2012-09-27 20:51:32 -0500 Report

Ms DAT there is a book Kiss Bow or Shake Hands, it has do's and don'ts for all cultures. My sister said the book is consistently updated every year or two. She worked with students from all countries and they often sat around her office or their work area and discussed customs from all cultures. I do not hug people I don't know nor do I offer to hug them. You do not hug in China or show public displays of affection.

Not everyone wants to be hugged and if they pushed you away, they more than likely thought you were out of line or overbearing. I find that people who are not friendly, are not huggers. If you aren't sure, don't offer a hug offer a handshake and if they by pass the handshake and hug you, then you will know this is what they wanted. There are also people who don't want to be hugged as a sign of sympathy. They don't want people feeling sorry for them.

The third time I was in the presence of our Police Commander, the officers at the meeting all came and hugged me and he asked me why I didn't give him one. So now he hugs me every time he sees me.

Ms. DAT 2012-10-02 02:22:25 -0500 Report

Just Joyce , Thank you for the information about that book on Kiss Bow and Shake Hands, I will look for it.
I have learned from experience to ask if it alright to even touch in any manner because Some people get violent if they are touched without notice or hugged inappropriately. I have seen some folks in action!!!
I have told some people, do not tip up from behind as in a hugging way and I am not aware of you!!
Also, you have to be careful about how you Shake another's hand as well which say a whole lot about you as a person.

I know you accept it as well, haha!!! Sometimes that's all one can do to show gratitude!

Ms. DAT 2012-09-27 16:55:45 -0500 Report

Like Carroll Burnette would say so I say too, "I so glad we had this time together" Hugs and High Fives to each of you!!

Ms. DAT 2012-09-27 16:08:23 -0500 Report

LOL!!! I wonder what do any of you think about hugging yourself?!!!!

Is hugging self a sign of emotional stability?!!

jayabee52 2012-09-27 16:29:46 -0500 Report

or conceit?

Ms. DAT 2012-09-27 16:40:38 -0500 Report

Jay that is a very interesting response OK!!! Of course if someone is really stuck on themselves and unbearable to be around. But some are conceited as well

Well I have really seen people who didn't love themselves until they came to excepting themselves to change what they can and let go of what they can not change such as past events, or deceased loved ones due to unforgiving others.
Once they except self then they are able to show love to themselves maybe for the first time by learning to hug self in compassion, support and self-love.

flipmom 2012-09-27 15:51:13 -0500 Report

wow! i really never thought this question. when someone hugs me, i will hug back. i dont know if its my culture, philippines, that i never really give hug when i was younger. we occationally kiss on cheeks… or for younger to older folks, we reach for their hand and place them on our forehead by means of hello and respect. so someties i get offguard when im gonna give them a kiss on cheek and they hugs me so i always end up kissing their neck!! awkward!!!

Ms. DAT 2012-09-27 16:00:05 -0500 Report

LOL!!! Yeah that kissing on the neck is awkward..Wow!!.
Thanks for explaining the meaning of placing hand on the forehead

Nick1962 2012-09-27 14:32:34 -0500 Report

I grew up in aq diluted German family. Old German custom was never to hug when greeting someone, especially for the first time. Any contact within arm’s length is considered an invasion of privacy even with someone you know well. Needless to say I’m not accustomed to giving or getting hugs. I will return the ones I get, but it is still awkward though. It’s not my “go to” gesture for anything, but if I feel someone needs it (and I’m the only one around) I will ask if they need a hug.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2012-09-27 20:54:05 -0500 Report

I never hug anyone I meet for the first time unless I have communicated with this person via phone or email. If I am meeting you for the first time with no previous communications or if you are not someone who seems to be the hugging typed, I offer my hand for a handshake.

Ms. DAT 2012-09-27 15:22:36 -0500 Report

Thanks for the private hugs which is important as well. "What the World need is Love,Sweet Love"" that's an old song I heard long ago.

Nick So what about a high five?! So what is the best way to show support other than a hug?

Nick1962 2012-09-27 15:28:56 -0500 Report

Oh I don't know, I'm not averse to hugs, but my one female T1 aquaintance and I punch each other in the arm (but then, she's kind of a tomboy).

Nick1962 2012-09-27 16:00:55 -0500 Report

Well, that is our special hug. It's kind of our private symbol of solidarity. It's kind of funny when we get together under "professional" circumstances (we work together every few months). Once we were following our group into a restaurant and kind of hung back to pop each other one. Well, we got caught just at the right time - an old guy punching a young(er) girl and her punching back. Kind of awkward, but no one asked, so we just smiled like school children. I'm sure there was gossip.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2012-09-28 11:50:21 -0500 Report

Well Nick if we sit on the deck of a cruise ship solving the worlds problems, I will expect a hug after it is all over :>)

Ms. DAT 2012-09-27 16:25:48 -0500 Report

Haha!!! It good to have fun when expressing friendship. It think it makes the heart pump stronger!

jayabee52 2012-09-27 13:26:05 -0500 Report

I love to hug! I like to hug both men and women. However since I am a guy and some folks (both men and women) seem uncomfortable with it because of perceived sexual connotations. I am sensitive to such discomfort and often when I sense it, I ask if it is OK.

I don't think hugging out of sympathy/empathy is negative, especially after a loss of a loved one. I believe it is VERY appropriate in such cases.

Ms. DAT 2012-09-27 15:25:20 -0500 Report

Yes that is true in this event in life. I was helped by hugs received at that time.
I have heard it said, I don't need people to feel sorry for me!

sweetlani 2012-09-27 13:11:31 -0500 Report

Where i live when we are introduced to people we will hug and kiss the person on the cheek. Whenever we see our friends and family we do the same. This is our custom and done out of respect. I also have not encountered a situation of refusal here or abroad. Hugs give off positive feelings just between humans. I love hugs. Sending one to u.

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