Have You Let Yourself Go?Lost Yourself: And Lost Self-Respect

By Latest Reply 2008-12-09 04:59:25 -0600
Started 2008-11-25 07:51:24 -0600

I have been asked these questions, and read them recently. I do understand. A lot of us feel alone with our disease, and loneliness leaves to loss of self-respect. Caring about ones' self, and how you look. I just recently realized that was something that I was doing to a degree that was even displeasing to me. I had stopped getting dressed, even skipped a shower once in a while, felt bad about it that day, but did not care enough to do it. I was very adiment about my weight and keeping under control all my life; would not go out wearing perfectly matching clothes, from top to bottom and (of course) never ever without makeup and clean hair. I've been wearing sleep clothes every day, cause they are comfy, but do nothing for your appearance; when I go out, bib overalls, oh, so girly. (remember now, I am a woman on this site for my husband who's picture is currently profiled-he hates me to show his pics, but he is so handsome and s****) so I was losing all my womanly looks and did not care. And Of course, my husband always wants me to feel comfortable. He never believed in make up, hair dye, etc. I am the one who never was pleased with my looks, now more than ever. Then—-
My daughters' Graduation and Party came up and I found myself doing all the prep I would do when I was going out or it was a special holiday. I looked good, again, and then I felt good, and that started a little day by day return from the lost. It is really not that hard to do, even if you just take a few minutes a day to do a little something for yourself to gain that self-respect back. Just try doing something that you have given up because of the affects of illness holding you back and go for it. Try to do it a little every day, fix your hair, if you are a man that applies to you as well as dressing up a bit. If you have let that go. Whatever you think will help you gain some self-respect. No one but you can do this, or feel this but yourself. So try to make yourself feel good

17 replies

2008-12-08 07:18:04 -0600 Report

I actually took it one step further; I colored and cut my own hair this weekend. I have been doing the families haircuts for years.

2008-12-08 17:59:03 -0600 Report

Tonite I made a terrific and healthy turkey pot pie for my husband. Cause i was so proud of his first doctor visit since diagnosed. What I wouldn't do for my man.

2008-12-09 04:59:25 -0600 Report

Yes, I am proud of him; but for some reason I do not feel proud of myself in any ways. I feel I have made a lot of mistakes lately, and I am sorry to all of you.

Anonymous 2008-11-26 13:13:33 -0600 Report

For all you women out there who let yourself go remember there are so many beautiful women out there on the prowl and temptation is always close!

Anonymous 2008-11-27 04:44:23 -0600 Report

Oh, I know, that is why I have always said, If you husband fell in love with you, at a certain time when you looked your best, don't let yourself go just because you have him. You should keep yourself and body healthy, and not let yourself go so he is ashamed of what you have become

vgarrison 2008-11-27 17:14:31 -0600 Report

Ok girls I agree with you on a certain level, but I also disagree to an extent as well. My husband has been here thru the birth of our child…gestational diabetes, now my type 1 diabetes, as well as my weight fluxing up and down. He is still here, and has no plans of going anywhere. Maybe I just got really lucky (I think I did anyway), but I have no issue walking around with flannel pj's on and not having shaved my legs in over a week…I can walk around with a mud mask on, or waxing my eyebrows or upper lip (part Italian, darn it, hehe). He takes me for me, and I take him for him. We are complete opposits, but the key word in there is complete…together we are perfect…

Just my take on it…


2008-11-28 06:49:26 -0600 Report

I agree about my husband, he has been there through some herendous care of problems with my health that no one should have to deal with. And he has no plans on going anywhere either. We take care of each other, and compliment each other very well, and I love him for that and for how he is as a father; He is loved; We all love him, and would not want him to change, he has his faults, but so do the rest of us. We are all willing to compromise.

LadyDi - 26259Miller
LadyDi - 26259Miller 2008-11-28 07:38:17 -0600 Report

You are so blessed to have that type of marriage/relationship, but unfortunately not everyone does or will. It is wonderful to become comfy and accustomed to each other to the point that looks are not that important. Out of love and respect for your partner, however, we should want to make an effort to be as attractive and well groomed as possible (when you feel up to it). Definitely important and necessary to use good hygiene. And I find it really lifts my spirits to get a shower and slap on a little makeup, and we can all use that now and then.

2008-11-28 08:05:26 -0600 Report

I am just so happy I found myself again, and my personal needs that always made me feel better about myself. I do care about how I reflect on others; but more important is how I feel about myself, and to take a few extra steps each day to do that is definitely worth it.

caspersmama 2008-11-28 10:15:27 -0600 Report

I have the same type of husband. Mine is great. I am usually in sleep clothes all the time unless I am going somewhere. I do not leave the house except on weedays when we go out to dinner or on weekends. I am in these clothes because when I am home most of the time I am in the bed or recliner with my laptop, heating pad and puupy and it is more comfortable. My hubby sleeps days and works night so he really does not care. I love him more for that. I do shower and fix my hair everyday. and brush my teeth. also I love my perfume so I put that on too.

2008-12-05 12:11:19 -0600 Report

I think even though we don't realize our own families passion; it is there, men are not always as vocal as women, but they doo feel things; good or bad. But they also feel our suffering and pain and want us to be as comfortable as possible.

2008-11-26 09:57:01 -0600 Report

Unfortunately; today I just feel like hiding somewhere in a closet, where no-one can find me; not just to see me, to ask me for help. I am talking about my family; they got me all stressed out.

LadyDi - 26259Miller
LadyDi - 26259Miller 2008-11-26 10:03:22 -0600 Report

Family can certainly do that to you. I speak from experience. I refused any sort of medication for stress and anxiety for many years, when I probably needed it. Speak to your doctor, if you have not already, about something to help you deal with the stress. Lexapro has helped me tremendously. I take a low dose (now only every other day), and I have found it to really help. God bless you. Take a deep breath, say a prayer and tell yourself you just cannot solve everyone's problems and you cannot be all things to all people. I hope you feel better and have a nice, calm, enjoyable Thanksgiving.

2008-11-27 04:42:21 -0600 Report

Yeah, I do take meds for mental illness problems; and other meds as well, thanks for your concern tho. I did not sleep well, have a turkey to finish thawing, and prepare to cook, but I feel better today. Miss the kids tho', none here this holiday season. :->)lilmarm

2008-11-25 11:37:43 -0600 Report

I actually spent the last 3/4 of an hour showering and washing my hair, and got fully dressed. It does feel better.

LadyDi - 26259Miller
LadyDi - 26259Miller 2008-11-25 10:34:55 -0600 Report

Congratulations on your comeback! Good for you! You make an excellent point about doing things for ourselves - something to lift us up and make us feel better about ourselves. There are a number of things that can cause us to fall into that "don't-give-a-damn" place - not just our health (finances, family problems, etc.). During those times it's extremely difficult to get excited, to get motivated and to treat ourselves well. It takes some work to get to that better place, doesn't it? But you are proof that one can do it. Keep up the good work! Hopefully others will see this and be inspired.