I have a question....

By MAYS Latest Reply 2012-11-30 14:55:27 -0600
Started 2012-08-31 23:21:15 -0500

Are there any diabetics here who are living with a diabetic spouse, sibling, child or significant other?

If so, ow are you getting along with one another pertaining to diabetes?

Do you talk about diabetes care and management with one another?
Do you help one another deal with diabetes?
Or do you get on one another's nerves when it comes to diabetes?


45 replies

jayabee52 2012-11-27 13:08:37 -0600 Report

Just today I put my friend SuzyQ on the airplane to return to Milwaukee.

We had thought we could be in a romantic relationship together, but the hopes of that deflated like a helium balloon.

Suzy was Dx'd with t2 when I was with her in Milwaukee (in fact I suggested she get tested), and she did sometimes ask me about foods to eat. She, however found it difficult to eat veggies. She would only eat corn and sauerkraut, and veggies in beef vegetable soup (which I made for her from scratch) She was used to eating a lot of bread and other carbs and seemed to always be hungry. I tried to convince her that her tummy needed to shrink, and she wouldn't be quite as hungry all the time, but she wasn't willing to try.

Needless to say we got on one another's nerves. And since her high carb foods were available to me, I would indulge from time to time, so my control has slipped.

Our split was mutual, and without drama. We still remain friends, but with me being on the verge of returning to dialysis, I could not let her rely on my cooking and doing the heavier chores for her and then all of a sudden I would be disabled or died. She has to find someone else to rely on for those activities.


granniesophie 2012-11-27 18:57:11 -0600 Report

James, I'm sorry it didn't work out how you wanted, but you have a friend and that may be a better thing in the long run. Hugs to you :)

jayabee52 2012-11-28 00:37:01 -0600 Report

thanks Granniesophie!

Yes we continue to be friends and she called me to let me know she made it safely there and is looking forward to my call to her tomorrow evening.

MAYS 2012-11-27 17:39:19 -0600 Report

James, in life we must always do what is best for ourselves, our sadness can lead to happiness further down the road in life…Hugs, and the best that life has to offer you, my friend!


jayabee52 2012-11-28 00:41:53 -0600 Report

Thanks mays for all your good words and wishes. I may be a bit melancholy about the split, after all she was a focus of my life for about 4 + months. But sad, not really. We plan to be in touch as I told Granniesophie, so our friendship will continue.

Set apart
Set apart 2012-11-30 06:53:45 -0600 Report

James, I am so sorry about you and SuzyQ, I know from your responses, etc, how much this relationship growing would have meant to you, but it is better to find these out sooner than later! Please take care!

MAYS 2012-11-28 03:20:19 -0600 Report

I am sure that she values your friendship just as much as you value hers James, who knows what can, and what will happen in the future for the two of you.
Absence can make the heart grow fonder, maybe the time apart will bring you closer together…I will put that on my Christmas "Wish List"…Stay strong my friend!

Here is something just for the two of you:



cheetah1976 2012-11-27 10:13:48 -0600 Report

My husband was diagnosed a couple of weeks ago. I think it has helped us as he finally understands my struggles with diet and eating out. He finally understands my struggles an I think it is bringing us closer by getting healthy together.

Linda crutch
Linda crutch 2012-10-27 09:28:29 -0500 Report

I was with my mother for a year (taking care of her) but that was before I got my sugars under control more than a year later. She decided the menu I had to fix with lots of gravy and sauces. I figured out to only give her those and have my food (dry).

wauhillau 2012-10-24 10:48:38 -0500 Report

I'm sorry Jaybee I was trying to connect to recipes and you are right it wouldn't help sorry

jayabee52 2012-10-24 10:56:06 -0500 Report

not a problem.

but if there were something in recipes which could help with spousal relations in the n I would have been very interested to hear it.


Terit57 2012-10-21 09:23:38 -0500 Report

Yes I am. Both my husband and I have diabetes. We do it as a team. Sometimes he gets upset because he can't have something but he gets over it pretty quickly

Ms. DAT 2012-09-13 14:16:03 -0500 Report

Ooh! Yes me we and sometimes fuss as well as discuss the issues of diabetes that we deal with. Sometimes they look at me and say, "your eyes are red" even when I don't want to complain about how I feel sometimes and I ask how is your blood sugar? Because I notice certain changes I try to avoid brow beating!!

It is encouraging to know that somebody loves you even on days when not quit up for the challenge but for the most part of it we are an active family that have to be reminded that a good rest is needed in order to keep on ticking.

The important point is to learn to love one another even being diabetics!!

watson4042 2012-09-13 13:12:08 -0500 Report

hi, mays. my roommate is also diabetic and has been for many years. so she wasn't too surprised when i was diagnosed. i do get the occasional lecture about my eating habits and about how often i cheat. she does the cooking in our household so all the meals are good and balanced but we still need to control our portions. and i get tired of hearing her say it's about portion size and control! when i cheat i get that "mom" look she gave her children when they were little and misbehaving. i just roll my eyes. she cheats also so if we're cheating together i don't get the look.

MAYS 2012-09-16 12:19:47 -0500 Report

I like that line,"Cheating Together!"
It's great when you have someone there to remind you of what you should be doing, and doing it together makes is much more fun and meaningful, even cheating!

LouellaMarie 2012-09-13 01:20:29 -0500 Report

Carbs, carbs, carbs, if I never heard that word again… that is my spouses comment last night, I have type 2 and he is pre-diabetic, almost one? Its just food, I say, he says, "Well do we have to talk about it alllllllll the time?" Hard not to I say and I am the one who cooks for the two of us sooooo… Now its time for me to start saying, please, will you please go for a walk with me? Louella

MAYS 2012-09-16 12:22:08 -0500 Report

Do just that!
If you can do it together then do it, make learning all about diabetes a part of your lives together because it already is, just imagine the discussions,especially about meal planning!

GabbyPA 2012-09-11 15:55:53 -0500 Report

I used to. My mom and I worked together a lot on it. She has since moved to AZ, so we are long distance. She is doing great and I am not, so I guess I really needed her more than I thought.

Now, my step-daughter came home with lab work that screamed diabetic to me, but of course since the doctor didn't say anything about it, she thinks she's fine. So here we might have some issues until the doctor says something. You know how kids can be, even if they are adult kids.

MAYS 2012-09-11 16:32:57 -0500 Report

Your step daughter doesn't take your advice pertaining to diabetes?

GabbyPA 2012-09-11 16:39:48 -0500 Report

There is a huge chunk of denial going on right now. She has a 106 fasting and you know doctors don't do anything until it is 125 or so. She just feels it isn't that bad until the doctor says it is. We have talked about it and I have asked her for her A1c numbers, but those have not been forth coming.

GabbyPA 2012-09-12 22:01:11 -0500 Report

You know how family can be. Closest to you ignore you the most. Actually, the article links you posted in another discussion really broke the ice on things. We had a talk last night. She is still wanting to wait until her next doctor appointment...sigh....we keep trying.

roshy 2012-09-09 19:13:34 -0500 Report

this is a great question!! ill tell you my story!

My father has had type one for over 50 years and for all of my life. he never spoke about it to us when we were kids, all we knew was that daddy has to take a needle before eating and just accepted it as the norm. When i was dx at the age of 16 i tried my hardest to not make a big issue of it when i was struggling. Soon it became very obvious that i was struggling but the more everyone tried to help the more i pushed away esp my father. He used to say things like 'i know how you feel, i know it isnt easy.'But i used to feel like he didnt have a clue of how i felt. he wasnt a teenage girl and having to accept this diesase at the age of 16. I remembered what life was like before a needle and a meter came along. He used to demand to see my glucose diary every night which really irritated me. Looking back i now know that he did it because he was worried and loved me. I used to call him the 'perfect diabetic' ( now i know better; there is no such thing!!) he always tested his sugars and took his insulin. very rarely had highs and never ate cakes or sweets. Unlike me who used to loose her needles on purpose, test her sugars once a week and eat nothing but sweets. Well that soon caught up with me and i landed myself in a and e with a DKA. And the first person to arrive and hold my hand through the mess i got myself in was my dad. Since then i changed the way i treat diabetes and my relationship with my father. I moved to a pump and soon after so did he!! we share everything, including our highs lows and frustrations and best thing is i dont hide my condition anymore. When im having a bad day i feel great because i can share it with someone who has been there instead of pretending everything is fine. Im glad things have turned around and i have someone to aspire to and talk to about this particular aspect of my life!

MAYS 2012-09-11 16:31:57 -0500 Report

I am always pleased when i hear a successful diabetes management story such as yours.
I am glad that things have worked out well for both of you.

pandalays 2012-09-04 06:10:35 -0500 Report

My mom was a diabetic.now she is no more .My two brothers are diabetic.we do discuss a lot and support each other when we get desperate.We exchange alternative medicines we come along.my sister in law always says that my elder bro feels better once he talks to me about all his problems.

MAYS 2012-09-11 16:29:27 -0500 Report

I see that you are the comforter of the family!
How are you managing your diabetes personally?
Is it with alternative medicine and methods, or is it a combination of traditional diabetes management and alternative medicine?

Lil Bal
Lil Bal 2012-09-02 18:14:20 -0500 Report

Hey, my husband and i are both diabetic he is t1 i am t2. Sometimes we can get a bit temperamental when sugars are high but other than that we support each other, we have spent many evenings talking about diabetes, and what each of us would like if anything ever happened. It took a lot to get used to when we first met but it made coping much easier :)

red flower lady
red flower lady 2012-09-02 18:07:56 -0500 Report

Nope, I am the only person on both sides of the family to have ever had it. And lucky me, I developed type 1 at a very early age. I always joke that I must be adopted or found under a rock, as I have curly auburn hair and green eyes and I'm 5'8. My siblings have straight dark hair with blue eyes. Also, the females in the family are 5'1 max. My mother always said it was just more of my Irish showing and to be happy I had the height as she always wanted to be taller. I'm still going with being found under a rock:D

jayabee52 2012-09-02 02:08:59 -0500 Report

As you may remember Mays, my 2nd wife "Jem" was a Person with Diabetes, Type 2. as was her mother.

We had many conversations mainly concerning "Jem's" many "medical challenges" including her T2. Hers was much more severe than mine was as, I believe her other medical challenges greatly interfered with her managing her T2 well. She had to take MUCH higher doses of her NPH insulin than did I. Her diabetes was much more brittle, and she eventually ended up on multiple daily injections of a fast acting insulin ("R") and an even faster acting insulin ("Aspart") each on its own sliding scale.

Since she was blind it was necessary for me to draw up her insulin according to her Endo's orders and keep everything straight. I loved her deeply and it was a labor of love to do all I needed to do in order to try to keep her as healthy as we could.

Since she has passed from this life in July 2010, (they think it was something to do with her heart) I treasure those times, because I learned so much about diabetes and other medical issues.

It was also during that time I came across Diabetic Connect, which eventually gave me enough education and encouragement to get off insulin (NPH 17 AM and 15 PM) and manage my Diabetes through eating the right things and avoiding the rest.

If Jem were alive today I may not have done that, or may be having a bit of difficulty with disparity of the way we eat. (It is hard to tell at this point).

MAYS 2012-09-11 16:25:28 -0500 Report

Always a charm, as well as an inspiration hearing your story Jamws.
You have educated many of us here at Diabetic Connect mentally, morally, emotionally and spiritually and I, for one am truly grateful for our friendship here on Diabetic Connect.
I am glad that DC has helped you, as you in turn have helped myself and others!

Beata2 2012-09-01 17:42:32 -0500 Report

My husband is diabetic and I am pre-diabetic, doing everything I can not to go over that line in the sand.
I have a need to talk about health issues and read everything I can get my hands on. This gets to my husband at times. He says I can talk it to death.
When it comes to shopping and meal planning it's pretty much up to me so he's not aloud to complain! He will cook and do dishes so I'm not going to complain, much.
Anyway, you have to find what works for you and don't worry about what others do.
Good Luck!

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