Dating a person with diabetes

keia83
By keia83 Latest Reply 2012-09-13 12:26:11 -0500
Started 2012-08-27 15:15:43 -0500

Hi recently started dating a guy and found out he has diabetes… He recently found out a year ago… I want to help him along this journey with cooking, and exercising with him, but he hardly eats and trying to get him to exercise more has been challenging, what can I do to help him but not feel like I care more about his health then he does…


4 replies

Lizardfan
Lizardfan 2012-09-13 12:26:11 -0500 Report

First of all it is not up to you to deal with his condition. It is wonderful to support him, educating yourself so that you can discuss it with him, but ultimately it his his responsibility. Clearly he is pushing back from taking care of himself. Perhaps backing away is the way to go here until he realizes what a mistake not caring for diabetes and the consequences of that decision will be. You can't make him see what he doesn't want to see and you really shouldn't try, he is an adult and as such will get there on his own.

Gabby
GabbyPA 2012-08-28 11:44:56 -0500 Report

Do what you do best. Be yourself. You date him for a reason, to see if he is the right guy for you. He is doing the same. If you set out to change him, then why date him?

So do the things you guys normally do, but keep an eye on what you do to make it better. Go for those walks on the beach (or in the park) and just have fun. Pack a picnic lunch for your date and make it good and healthy. You don't have to "tell" him you are doing it for his diabetes. Just do it, in the quiet of your mind, knowing that this will be good for both of you. Invite your friends over and cook a healthy meal, again, without the diabetes label, just good well planned meal. Play some badminton or volleyball. When you do things in a "natural' way, it isn't such a challenge.

In the end, you may care more for his health than he does. You cannot change that. If you are willing to accept that and just keep doing good for you both, then you have a chance at making a difference in his life. Time will bring about changes in you both as your relationship grows.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2012-08-28 11:24:46 -0500 Report

Hi Keia, I agree with Mays. You can educate him by learning about it. Slowly introduce what you have learned in your daily conversations. If you give him too much information at one time he will be overwhelmed and may stop listening. Do not make it a major topic of discussion.

Cooking with him and for him will be a help. Exercising with him is just as good however, one thing you must remember is that you cannot make him exercise. Walking is just as good as a full body workout. Ask him to go for a walk with him but don't treat it as exercise.

Be supportive but not overly supportive. As Mays says don't "Mother" him. He might end up resenting that. If you see him eating something you know isn't good for him, don't turn into the "Food Police" and tell him it isn't good for him and don't monitor everything he eats. That is very annoying to diabetics. At times many of us eat something we shouldn't. It isn't going to kill him but it might raise his blood sugar. Keep healthy snacks around. He is lucky he has a lady who cares about him. Too many people do not have supportive friends, spouses or family members who care. Good luck to both of you.

MAYS
MAYS 2012-08-27 17:08:41 -0500 Report

Tell him so!
Let him know, and see that you have an interest in him and his health condition, read up on diabetes so that he will see that you are serious about it.
Teach him about diabetes if you must, introduce him to this wonderful site!
But most of all don't "mother" him into managing his diabetes, his failure to do so may frustrate you, so place your arm around him and view this site together !