have you ever had this happen to you were you hear what can only hear the bad things that can happen to you if you don't your diabetes under control? never any comments how your keeping under control

By berrykins0 Latest Reply 2012-08-01 18:48:03 -0500
Started 2012-07-30 08:53:37 -0500

i get the shaft at eye doctor every yr it really is quite the earfull and gets really old after while.i understand they tell these things you but really be nice hear something nice how well i'm doing. my doctor and nutritionist give me say good things to me how well i do.i go to the eye doctor at the clinic were i go for all my other medical needs. pretty tacky for one person to idiotic .

20 replies

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2012-08-01 18:48:03 -0500 Report

Hi berrykins,

Doctors are all over the place in terms of their bedside manner and approach to helping their patients to remain compliant. You probably know this already. And if you have had a few doctors who were gentle and supportive in their approach, it makes your eye doctor seem that much more nasty.

You might tell your eye doctor that you are doing the best you can and that you don't appreciate being talked to that way. Or, you can smile and say something like, "looks like you had another bad day today." Or you can decide that this is just once a year or so, and that you can stand it that often. People are who they are, it can be easier just to accept that it is going to be an unpleasant experience, that you are getting what you need, a check up by an expert, nothing more, nothing less. As they say, it is what it is. And you never know what somebody is dealing with in their life, and how that affects how they relate to others.

But sorry that you have to put up with this. I don't understand why we can't all just be nice to each other. I guess that is not for me to know. But it makes me appreciate nice people all that much more.


TsalagiLenape 2012-08-01 01:39:58 -0500 Report

Wow that is weird…I havent met any doctors who do this to me. Only the one doctor who flipped out cause I was asking questions wanting to understand. Go figure. Hugs to you berrykins!

dietcherry 2012-07-31 23:26:35 -0500 Report

Maybe he thinks your non-compliant and hes trying to scare you into compliance.

When I was 17 I was admitted to the hospital for DKA; an intern entered my room and proceeded to rip me a new one about non-compliance and the losses it would bring—-eyesight, kidneys, limbs, and life itself.
I listened intently cuz he was fine! lol He shamed me and I left there with a new attitude. Of course later I realized he was wanting to scare me into being a better diabetic and boy did it work.
If I could remember his name and find him again I would tell him exactly what his words and his concern for my health did for me that day :-)

JSJB 2012-08-01 04:22:06 -0500 Report

Sometiimes that is what it takes to wake some people up. The anathesioligist(?) jumped all over me about my blood pressure and blood sugar when I was getting my wrist repaired. I never bothered with doctors or my health. I figured as long as it doesn't hurt I'm ok but I was wrong and learned a lot from this site. Thank you everyone and that (however you spell it) guy.

dietcherry 2012-08-01 08:23:07 -0500 Report

Yep—-there are a few in the med field that really make a profound difference in patients lives.
Unlike the Drs who came in my room, never spoke, checked my chart and left, this intern actually sat on the bed and looked me in the eye and yelled at me for several minutes telling me he hoped I was happy with myself for the crappy job I was doing! lol

mystikfairy61 2012-07-31 21:37:10 -0500 Report

I went to Walmart's eye doctor in May and when he heard I am diabetic, he immediately launched into this. What do you eat? Do you eat bread, carbs, etc? You don't need to eat them, they are bad for you. You're drinking a diet soda, that thing will kill you. Let me give you a couple of websites to help you. And I got all this without even mentioning that I wanted his help. So I understand what you dealt with and can definately sympathize with you.

old biker
old biker 2012-07-31 17:16:22 -0500 Report

There is allways one jerk in every crowd, The bright side is you only have to deal with him once a year. Your doctor and nutritionist make up for his lack of encouragement..Two out of three aint bad :-)

red flower lady
red flower lady 2012-07-30 15:08:04 -0500 Report

Some drs are not saying that you are not doing well, but just trying to reinforce the information available and it is their job to make sure you are healthy. But, I would ask the eye dr if he/she see's something wrong for them to bring up the info. If you know for a fact that you have diabetes under control, then don't worry about it, if it is always said, then that tells you it is part of their diabetes eye exam. Unless you tell them your concerns it will always bother you. Remember, if seeing eye dr once a year, they don't remember last conversation.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2012-07-30 12:05:04 -0500 Report

The way to handle that is to ask the doctor about your progress. If you don't ask he/she will probably think you don't care. You can't expect him to remember you if you only see him/her once a year. He/she more than likely has not reviewed your chart since the last time you were in the office. Unless you speak up, this will always happen.

Nick1962 2012-07-30 11:00:54 -0500 Report

Well, I'll agree with you, acknowledging your success should be first and foremost to encourage you to continue doing a good job.
I had the opposite problem. My PCP never lectured me about my weight, eating/drinking habits or anything. I thought "cool, nice doctor".
However, my new chiropractor was quite blunt with me and told me most of my problems are weight related, and as such, she'd continue to treat me, however I'm making the payments on her boat. Like Gabby said, i needed that kick in the pants.
Next time you go, maybe make a game of it. Tell him you already have the speech memorized and ask him for some positive news for a change.

GabbyPA 2012-07-30 10:30:14 -0500 Report

My mom always said you can attract more flies with honey than vinegar (why we want to attract flies, I have no idea? LOL)

Sometimes we do need a kick in the but, a little reality check. But it is true, that when we are eager to see our doctor because they offer support and do admit that we are doing well, it is more encouraging. Bed side manner isn't reserved for those on a bed, but should be used for us as we are working on our treatments.

Graylin Bee
Graylin Bee 2012-07-31 17:27:15 -0500 Report

You want to lure the little pests into a trap to get rid of them, not draw more into your vicinity to annoy you more.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2012-07-30 12:17:18 -0500 Report

It isn't about attracting more flies with honey than with vinegar it is about communicating with your health care professionals. If you the patient are not doing what you should be doing then expect a kick in the butt. People complain about bedside manner to everyone but the doctor but that is a two way street. If you sit in the doctors office like a bump on a log and say nothing, you give the impression you don't care. If you give that impression the doctor probably thinks he/she is wasting time with you. If the doctor is totally rude or nasty then I would say he/she needs to work on their bedside manner.

On the flip side if you don't inquire about your own progress, again the doctor probably thinks you don't care enough to ask. If you see a doctor once a year, after the exam the first question that should be asked is, "compared to my last examination, what progress if any do you see?" If you don't ask that one question the doctor will probably make changes or tell you to continue with what you are currently doing.

The problem is too many people do not talk to their doctors about the medical problems they have or could result from their illness. The other side of that is people will ask everyone they encounter about symptoms they have or what causes a medical problem but won't ask their doctor. It is a simple solution, pick up the phone and ask the nurse about the problem and have him/her to have the doctor call you back or even the nurse with the answer. People including doctors will think if you don't ask a question you don't care so why should they.

Your doctor is a professional paid by you or your insurance company to provide a service for you. He/she is not the one you call to meet for lunch or a movie, isn't on the list to come to a dinner party and isn't the person you call because you are upset about something or happy because of something. In other words your doctor is not your parent or best friend.

When asked how you are doing, 99% of the time the question is about your health. Not about everything going on in your life unless the doctor is your psychiatrist or psychologist. They are not your life coach, and they are not your main source for encouragement. So if you are not an active participant in your own health care, you will at the end of the day catch more flies. You have become your own vinegar.

GabbyPA 2012-07-31 12:48:56 -0500 Report

You are right in that you must be your own advocate and you have to be working on your treatment plan. We do fall down from time to time and sometimes we do need help instead of a boot. I always talk straight with my doctor and he is usually pretty good with me. He lets me know when he's happy with my progress as well as lets me know when he has concerns. He doesn't nag me and I appreciate that. I don't respond well to nagging.

My doctor is paid by me, no insurance in-between, so I do expect that he take the time to answer my questions with more than just a curt "because I say so" kind of answer. I fired a NP for treating me that way. (meaning I told the office that I would not use her again, ever and they were to schedule my appointments with another doctor. And they did)

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2012-08-01 13:30:03 -0500 Report

I agree Gabby you do have to be your own advocate and you have to work with your doctor on your treatment plan. Sometimes it takes a boot kick to get people to motivate themselves to not only advocate for themselves but to take steps to help themselves. My doctor did the same prior to his retirement. He always told me how well I was doing and what I was doing wrong. If you are not treated correctly by your doctor or his staff, make him/her aware of this and if nothing changes find a new doctor.

However, if you are not communicating with your doctor, you are not doing what you should be doing because unless you ask about progress and tell him/her about any problems or questions you may have, the doctor won't know.

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