Help from others

By BrookeLauren Latest Reply 2012-07-25 14:21:44 -0500
Started 2012-07-23 23:47:02 -0500

Hey guys! It's almost been a year now since I've been diagnosed and the constant problem I have had is help from others. It may sound weird but when my family or friends remind me to test or tell me I need to test and bring me my testing supplies I get very mad. I know I shouldn't because they are just trying to help but for some reason it gets on my last nerve! Does anyone else have issues with others trying to help them with this stuff?

16 replies

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2012-07-25 14:21:44 -0500 Report

Hey Brooke,

Here is a link to an article that I posted awhile back on dealing with micromanagers. It might be helpful:

I think that family members often feel kind of helpless. They worry, they want to do something so that they won't feel so helpfless. It's all about managing their own feelings of helplessness by trying to manage you. Annoying, right?

Maybe using these micromanaging moments as "teachable" moments, and letting then know that you appreciate their concern, but that you want to take responsibility for yourself, might help. They might have to hear it over and over, reassuring, gently but firmly, before it sinks in.

Hope this helps!


swlinda 2012-07-25 10:25:49 -0500 Report

You could have my family who offer you sweets all the time. They think because my father, aunt and uncle have diabetes and have no ill effects that I will too. I am trying to watch what I eat and to be honest the more they offer me, the less I eat sweets. I guess I am glad they don't nag but it would be nice if they just didn't offer things I shouldn't have either.

techguy87114 2012-07-25 09:54:48 -0500 Report

I understand the frustration of being reminded about something, especially your testing supplies.. we are adults and should have it "all together". I have noticed for me, since my T2 diag, I forget things I didnt used to.. wether it be that I have other things on my mind or what..

Here is how I look at it as attitude is everything.. Would you rather have someone remind you and make sure you have the stuff you need to stay healthy,safe and alive or no?

I try to use perspective.. if I forget my tesing supplies and I am with someone else and there is a problem wtih my BGL, it not only puts me in danger, but now I have worried and inconvieneced the other party.. and it could get worse from there.

You are a smart, beautiful woman.. I myself would hate to see you get into a situation like that. People love you and just genuinely care.. and ultimately want you around for many years to come..

You are lucky to have people around to remind you.. you could have no one. and no testing supplies..

Its all in how you look at it.

All the best,

mityjoe67 2012-07-25 07:41:11 -0500 Report

I can't say that I really have had that problem, I was 8 when I got diabetes, so I had to be reminded. I do know though about the feelings you have about being reminded about things, it is very frustrating and as some of the comments stated can be frustrating. The one thing I will mention to you, is as big of a change as this is for you, it is also also a big change for them and I bet they are still learning how to help you deal with it. No matter how frustrated you get with them, remember they care and love you nad have your best interest at heart, so just politely tell them Thank you and that you were just about to test. It's tough but after a while, they will adjust just as you continue to do so.I hope this helps a little and Good Luck.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2012-07-24 12:12:08 -0500 Report

Thankfully I don't have that problem. However, children can tend to not take illnesses seriously. I think what your family is doing is teaching you to be responsible if you are not testing as you should. Instead of taking issue with it be thankful they care enough about you to look out for you. This disease is not to be taken lightly. If you don't take care of yourself now, in the end you will be the one paying the price and someone in your family just might be bold enough to tell you four words you won't want to hear "I told you so".

There are thousands of kids who are neglected by parents who are too busy to take time out of their busy schedule to remember they have kids, parents who have pawned them off on grandparents because of their addictions or having to serve time, a parent who gave up a child because they can't care for them. Any of those kids would be glad to have the attention you are getting. I would simply do as they ask and not complain. Growing up isn't easy but with parents and family members who love and care about you makes growing much better and happier.

Nick1962 2012-07-24 09:47:03 -0500 Report

I think maybe because you’re young yet you have people looking out for you. That’s not a bad thing, but I imagine it can get on a person’s nerves. I also think it helps those around you learn and understand as well, so you might just be educating them. It’ll probably taper off after a while, so it might just be worth it to just smile and thank them for their concern.
Being older, I had kind of the opposite reaction. I didn’t “hide” my diagnosis, but I didn’t have a grand coming out party about it either. I tested at work sometimes 8 times a day, and left a meter on my desk, but since I have a half dozen other meters and gizmos in pouches lying around no one noticed it. I watched people actually pick it up and open it looking for a salinity tester. It wasn’t until about 2 years in that someone questioned me when I went home after a hypo attack one afternoon.
Friends and family just sort of left me to do what I needed to do, and expected I’d just be taking care of things. But then that’s sort of my personality – just handle it and move on – so it was business as usual with really no emotional support. I think that helped me, strange as it may seem, to not over-obsess about it.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2012-07-24 12:21:16 -0500 Report

Nick I think they may not think she is responsible enough to remember to test. You are more than likely correct, it will taper off once they feel comfortable with her being responsible.

I didn't hide my diagnosis, all of my friends and family know I am diabetic. Since I was diagnosed because of a health screening at a gala for work, several of my coworker were diagnosed around the same time. We ended up helping each other. One coworker who is also my friend is an "authority" on everything and told us what we should be doing. When we told her we are learning what to do an that we can't do the exact same things because diabetes can effect each person differently she stopped her advice.

Like you, I simply handle the highs and lows and keep moving on. I don't want to sit back and worry about something. Takes up too much time.

Nick1962 2012-07-24 12:55:31 -0500 Report

You might be on to something there Joyce. I don’t really know how old BrookeLauren is, but if that is her profile pic, she’s a far, far sight younger than me. And like you say, I’m sure everyone and their brother has their own idea of when and how often she tests (sorry BL, don’t mean to be talking about you like you’re not here), but it is a pattern she needs to develop for herself. Once they see she’s mastered it, I’m sure they’ll lay off a bit.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2012-07-24 18:27:35 -0500 Report

Nick she is 17 years old. This is more than likely why they are on her about testing. Remember what 17 was like, very few responsibilities for some and a lot for others. At 17 a lot are not focused on any one particular thing and diabetes requires you to be responsible and focused when it comes to taking care of yourself. If she is going away from home for college, she won't have the family telling her to test. She has to learn to do that on her own and find ways to remember to test. She has to stop looking at it as nagging and pay attention to what they are helping her with (sorry brooke, not saying you really aren't paying attention or are not focused). She has to work with them until she has mastered her care on her own. Besides parents are going to nag you know matter how old you are, that is their job for the rest or your life and theirs.

Nick1962 2012-07-25 08:12:42 -0500 Report

Well, yes then, sorry Brooke, the nagging will probably continue for a while, but I’m sure it’s out of love.
One sure way to put an end to it though would be to jump in with both feet and really take ownership of your condition. Become a pro at it. Use your meter and any technology available to track your numbers and trends so you are absolutely in tune with what your body is doing. Get to the point where you can put a handful of goldfish crackers in your mouth and guess within 5 points what you BG will be in an hour. It can be a lot of work, but it can be fun also, and you’ll learn a lot along the way. We’re all here to help.

Harlen 2012-07-24 08:06:00 -0500 Report

I need to check myself for my first reaction is to bight lol
I don't think any of us like others to tell us what to do lol
Best wishes

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2012-07-24 12:23:31 -0500 Report

Harlen someone is always going to tell all of us what to do. The the thing is you have to decide whether or not you are going to listen. Most of the time I don't listen. Especially if it does not make sense. It drives the people telling what to do crazy and I love it…lol

CJ55 2012-07-24 00:52:25 -0500 Report

I feel the same way as jayabee. I welcome my husbands reminders & questions. He is all I have to help me. My family & friends never say or ask anything. It is like Diabetes is nothing to them. I dont think they all realize just how tough it is to live with diabetes or the struggles I endure everyday. No one else on my moms side have diabetes, only myself so they dont understand nor ask about diabetes. I have only my husband and the people here at DC and I thank God daily for that.

red flower lady
red flower lady 2012-07-24 00:51:51 -0500 Report

All you can do is just smile and say "I got this." Eventually they'll stop asking so much, but they will usually watch on the sly to make sure. Sometimes, we don't know we are acting different, but other's will see/hear it and we need to be thankful for that and remember that they just don't want us to be healthy. Look at it as a good support system.

jayabee52 2012-07-24 00:21:16 -0500 Report

I used to have that problem when first Dx'd. Today, about 16 yrs later, I welcome all the help I can get.

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