My Emotional RollerCoaster

By TsalagiLenape Latest Reply 2012-07-03 07:10:42 -0500
Started 2012-06-24 08:14:35 -0500

Well I have found out something recently. It was not so amazing per se but cemented in me that I have to get the negative people away from me. They are so draining of my spirit and life. How their needs and wants should supercede mine. Daughter and husband have decided to visit overly long back at the house where I reside. Yet now daughter is gone again. Husband is here. Situation came up recently where he was asked to help me. I only will ask one time only. No more no less. Well his usual response was given aka a NO. Which left me fuming. Needless to say, after venting and digressing with others, I gave him a choice: do it or leave my house now. Well he has decided its in his best interests to do it. He has a new house, no job, no money no food but wants to "Visit" me cause of this while looking for a job. Ok fine for awhile. But for the long haul I want him out of my life and house by July 15. I dont need his crude or crap. I'd rather be alone than having to deal with his stupid nonsense that I could care less about. I dont care about nothing but my own agenda. He left me and forgot about his Dad who's prostate cancer is doing good now. He forgot the bills, and especially me who could use someone as back up. I am now used to having no back up but myself. I like it that way. I am much happier and thus freer to do as I please. I get things accomplished. Yet cause he is back I have messed up on my eating again. Being on the road I have to plan things out. Yet lately I just crave the sweets which is bad for me. So I think that sooner than later he has to go or I will. OH yes lets not forget he wants me to pay his bills at his house, which I have never lived there or used anything. I was there only once to reclaim my dogs after he neglected them and was picked up on his bench warrant on Mothers Day night. Right now I just want to get out and away or just sleep (cause I am tired). I dont trust him nor love him. I do care about him as a person but that is it. I am so done already. Thanks for letting me vent my spleen and any good replies are much welcomed. Hugs

13 replies

Dean0868 2012-06-25 09:07:47 -0500 Report

You go, girl! Sounds like you are moving in the right direction. Life is a learning experience. Take it one day at a time. You are going to be the happy, healthy person that you deserve to be.

Best wishes,

TsalagiLenape 2012-06-30 07:58:44 -0500 Report

Now he expects me to give him more money for his cell phone and If I do that I wont have enough to take me to work and etc ugh

pixsidust 2012-06-24 13:43:29 -0500 Report

Why wait until the 15th? He needs to go now. Let his new girlfriend support him and if she is gone, let him sit alone in the dark in his new house. You do not need him eating your food and breathing your air. Start asking him for money and that may get him to go

TsalagiLenape 2012-06-24 13:46:59 -0500 Report

LOL he has no gf money or whatever. Yet I need him to help me for a few days since I have to go out of town for work. One of our regular people is in the hospital and thus the choice of going is now null and voided. Hence he will earn what he gets or gets out. Easy choice I' say.

Caroltoo 2012-06-24 14:15:21 -0500 Report

Another way of looking at this is that it really is his job to look after his father.

Caroltoo 2012-06-30 08:18:21 -0500 Report

Not suggesting you do it, just saying that knowing it should be up to him can help you feel better about yourself for what you are doing for his dad. His choices are self centered any way you look at it, Temi. You and I are both caring for dying old men in our lives … I'm not willing to go the nursing home route either, so we are in agreement about doing what we need to do to acheive our goals.

old biker
old biker 2012-06-24 12:53:26 -0500 Report

" Remember if you ever need a helping hand, it's on the end of your arm. As you get older remember you have another hand. The first hand is to help yourself and the second is to help others" Audrey Hepburn… I tell annoying negative people " After me you come first"

Caroltoo 2012-06-24 08:50:55 -0500 Report

Venting is fine. Hope you feel better for having done so. It sounds to me like you have realized a number of things, Temi, especially where you say that you realize you don't love or trust him, but care about him as a person. That's a very balanced assessment. So is the idea: I want him out of my life and my house by July 15th. Sounds like you are ready to move on and are detaching from the baggage of your past. Good job learning how to take care of yourself.

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