Depression, Diabetes, and Neglect. Help?

Jade R
By Jade R Latest Reply 2013-06-17 20:55:22 -0500
Started 2012-06-16 23:45:23 -0500

I am 19 years old and about to go into my third year at college. I've have Type 1 diabetes since I was 6 years old. My most recent A1C was above 11 and this is obviously affecting my school performance. My grades from last semester were mostly C's and D's.
However my main problems is, I simply don't care. I want to be succesful in life and I don't want to develop complications, but I can't find the motivation to do my school work or care for my diabetes. In fact, its almost a regular practice of mine to be intentionally self destructive in that I will even get to the point of thinking, "oh hey, I should check my blood sugar," or "I should take insulin for this," but don't. Plus on top of this I binge eat.
I'm currently living at home for the summer and my mother is driving me up a wall trying to get me to take care of myself constantly asking me what my blood sugar is and catching me in my lies about checking my blood sugar.
I am not currently seeing a therapist or anything of the sort, but do have plans. My problem is that I feel like I have to be the one to take charge of my diabetes in full. I'm sick of my mom riding my ass and feel like even if I were to turn things around the section I start reporting good numbers to her she'll feel like its because of her and I'll get what feels like a congradulations to a child who pooped in the toilet, a pat on the head and a "good job." I know this isn't a game, but I can't seem to get over that. I feel like a need a support system to fall back on and trust when *I* feel like I need help after taking the reigns, but what I have is a militant authoritative figure looming over me 24/7.
Even this spring when I did have a little more independance because I was living at school, and I was having trouble in school, things had been okay with my and my mother for a while so I attemped going to her for help. I ended up crying and saying how hard school was and still, the responce I got from her was okay and supportive, but it didn't last long. It soon went back to threats of taking my car away and pulling me out of college (my parents are paying for my college in full). I don't need threats, I don't need constant reminders (I'm not forgetting anything, I just choose not to care [I always tell my mom mid-argument semi-humorously that I've been diabetic as long as she as, trying to make the point that she isn't diabetic but I am]), I need help.
Basically what I came here for was suggestions on dealing with my mother and my complete apathy towards my health.

104 replies

Stuart1966 2013-06-17 20:28:21 -0500 Report

Ok, a whole bunch of different issues here. And its going to require "on the ground" help, someone at school who can help you build some walls, and tear others down with you too. If not there, somebody local.

Your brain chemistry will change, and the parts of your brain which are fighting you will stop pretty soon. Now that being said while the message is right "cut it out", the messenger, her/their approach needs to be throttled, and put in her place one way or another re: the diabetes piece. It takes courage and skill, the first you have… the second you learn.

There is no connection at all between our education and our disease. Lows will interfere, highs make us feel icky, but either way, that does not change our study habits, our social interactions, whether we go to classes or not. How late we stay out, how hard we play (or not). Those issues are not diabetes. So the question becomes how do we juggle both chainsaws at the same time?

Binge eating, what does that mean exactly? And the fact you understand and realize you are pretending in lots of ways (e.g. diabetes, binge eating, etc.) is an excellent sign. There are no illusions, no pretending, you are aware!!!

So the question becomes what's the best technique to help you change what you are able and willing? Where are you based? There may be a Dr. Gary real near you, or someone with the experience re: diabetes you want.

Others may know someone nearby whether at your school or home?

HockeyGuy1990 2012-06-25 09:57:54 -0500 Report

I am 21 years old and feel I have a similar situation you are dealing with. I had an experience when I was 16 where I had woke up and my BG was so low and I was completely out of it, ended up going to the ER and ever since I have been really cautious with my sugars not goin low. For this reason my A1C's have been in the 8's, and I often test and am in the 300's+, I rarely bolus b/c im so fearful of goin that low again. My ma has constantly bugged me about the diabetes, but she can't change it, i am the only one that can change it and my attitude.

I was just wondering how other ppl around my age cope with and deal with these things, it is completely affecting my mood. At times its almost a struggle to get through the day, as a 21 year old with type 1 it is very hard b/c I don't know anyone my age that has it or that i can talk about it with.

Stuart1966 2013-06-17 20:44:37 -0500 Report

Hello HockeyGuy1990:

Ok, so I'm a little older than you… lol so what. The low you suffered is understandable. There is not a single one of us, here or on any other diabetic site, with any experience who has not had their head handed to them, by such lows. Its *(#&@#&(@ ugly, ugly, ugly stuff.

Now the 300 you wont go below is an entirely understandable position to take. The low scared you, and it should. However how long ago was that? Had any "evil lows" since then? Come on…

There are all kinds of ways to help. Things you can do to convince yourself another unit, two will not hurt you. Its a gradual thing… unless you take it on faith, that one single low which brought you to this headspace how many days ago, how many years??? That was a bad day…

How bout leaving it in the past? Any chance?

Traumatic experience, sounds like you could use someone with a degree to help put out that fire, carefully? You near any large diabetes clinics/centers? They can make recommendations…

300 wont kill you… but it wont help you either. How would 250 sound as a goal? How bout 225? What would be a number you could accept as your target…?

There are paramedics who I knew by name, ER wards that should have my name. I'll help if I can

Jade R
Jade R 2012-06-29 22:34:50 -0500 Report

Yes! I'm so happy I came to this website just because I wanted to meet more people like you. Young people who struggle with type 1 diabetes. I understand the fear of going low. How low was your blood sugar that time did you bother testing? The lowest recorded time I was low I was in the teens, and one time I was getting fitted for a dress when I was in someones wedding and I almost passed out. I would suggest getting a Continuous Glucose Monitor. I assume you have a pump because you said bolus, I had one since I was 8 but got sick of it a while ago and went back to shots. I had the Minimed witch has a sensor incorporated but I wouldn't suggest it. It sucked! Just the way it was attached to your body it was flimsy and always fell off plus it always itched and I really hated it. But I started using a Dexcom and its one of best decisions every I love the Dexcom. It's comfortable and small.

I totally understand struggling to get through the day. And I'd love to be there to talk about things with you.

HockeyGuy1990 2012-06-30 18:38:51 -0500 Report

Well I was in summer school for driver's ed and I had woke up a little early feeling very out of it and went to hop in the shower upstairs (1st thing that was weird bc we all use the downstairs shower, upstairs is a tub) and i couldn't actually figure out how to turn the shower head on, I was frustrated and apparently kinda yelling nonsense so my dad knocked on the door. I tried to respond but my words were all garbled, I couldn't even speak.. He got me downstairs and I tested my meter said I was only in the low 60's, my parents thought I was high on something lol, they called the paramedics and I went to the ER. They did ct scans and MRI's while treating me for low BG. I was scared and telling my parents I just wanted to go home and not go thru the MRI after the ct scan. The Dr's said that my BG was probably in the low teens while I was asleep and my body started producing its own glucose. After the day in the ER everything returned to normal.

I have been on the pump for about 7-8 years, and I could have the Glucose monitor but I really don't feel like having the extra sight on my body, 1st pump was a Minimed 508 and the 2nd and 3rd Minimed Paradigm's, I have often thought about switching back to shots but don't want to lose the conveniece of the pump. What is the Dexcom I don't know much about it?

Jade R
Jade R 2012-07-01 20:12:53 -0500 Report

Its just a CGM, no pump. It's super small and like I said soooo much better than the option they have for a CGM with the Paradigm. vs.

The CGM for the pump has the option for this big ugly, ill-fitting tape you can put over it, that gets all kinds of lint and junk stuck on it over the course of having it on and isnt very flexible or easy to put on so its very uncomfortable. If you don't use the tape, the needle goes in at the very right of the picture i sent and the white park is all flappy and it would constantly end up getting ripped out of me. Plus it itched like hell and the site was just so exposed.

The Dexcom has a longer range, its so so so comfortable you forget you have it on and its small. But since you want to stay on the pump I guess I wouldn't recommend it because you'd end up carrying two devices around.

Shots worked out really well for me as far as getting myself back in control for a while. The shots are as convenient, but you get used to it again real fast, plus they have the pens which we didn't have the option for before we both got our first pumps. I had all the same pumps you did. It forces you to watch what your eating more. And you'll feel so FREE. I felt like I could take on the world those first couple months without the pump. You get so used to having this thing on you 24/7 its unbelievable how great it felt having it off when it never really felt like a burden in the first place. It's a nice break. At least at first, as the original discussion proves, I did go back downhill and I might actually start using my pump again. But if I do, I will definitely sacrifice and still use the Dexcom over the CGM for the Paradigm.

dietcherry 2012-06-25 10:30:32 -0500 Report

We are here to help! Its important to get your numbers down; alot of damage is being done by staying that high.
I know the lows are scary; I lost the ability to detect them after so many years with T1 and have had numerous seizures as a result. Dont want to scare you, but it can happen. On the other hand, the highs cause most of the complications of D.
Maybe try working on bringing your numbers lower slowly, so your body has time to adjust and reset itself.
Running high all the time DEFINITELY affects our state of mind, depression and irritability probably being the 2 biggest factors. Once you start getting and staying lower, you will start feeling a whole lot better and you and those around you will notice the difference. Plus you will have energy like you are supposed to have.

NadiaJohnson 2012-06-24 22:31:29 -0500 Report

When I read this it sounded exactly like me I'm 21 and for a while now my sugars have been sitting High my a1c has been sitting around 9 and like u for the longest time I didn't care I just didn't care. I wasnt testing wasn't taking insulin like I should and just not caring. The other day I went and got my yearly test and the dr found that my liver is passing protein. The dr. Told me its a sign of my liver isn't working properly because of my high blood sugars he told me that it should go back to normal when my sugars are back in control but it really scared me. Im trying to get it back in control and I know it's me and only me that can make that choice my mom was also very concerned when I lived at home but I think I'm worse now because she wasn't there to constantly push me but then again it almost made me feel like I was being controlled and I hated that. Anyways Im new to this site, it just makes me feel so much better that there's other people like me out there going threw the same thing and I'm not alone

Jade R
Jade R 2012-06-29 22:28:49 -0500 Report

I felt the same way! This was my very first post ever and although all these responses have been great I love the ones like yours the most. Younger people who have gone through similar things. We should keep in touch. :)

NadiaJohnson 2012-06-30 22:57:53 -0500 Report

We should for sure! its just nice to know that there's other people out there that can relate and know what i'm going through definitely helps!

Valliboo 2012-06-23 17:19:37 -0500 Report

Your attitude is unfortunate although I understand since u r so young. You HAVE to make a conscious decision that your life is valuable and u want to live it healthy by just making a few changes. 1 you cannot binge and you that 2/ you must eat at intervals and test ur levels before u do.3 / u must at least do a little exercise if only a medium pace walk as it does go a long way in helping to regulate the sugar level. 4/ do not allow ur mom to affect u negatively as stress will mak it worst.5/ set a routine and live by it for a little while and it will grow on u and it gets easier. Just start it and good luck… Remember ur attitude determines ur altitude and if u want to get ur degree and make a good life for yourself then ur attitude must be a positive one…

Jade R
Jade R 2012-06-29 22:30:33 -0500 Report

Thank you, I really do need to establish a routine. That's very important but just seems to be so impossible for me.

Stuart1966 2013-06-17 20:51:01 -0500 Report

"Impossible"… is defined until you do something for the first time. After that its not impossible -brief smile- anymore, right?

Discipline is not a PILL. It takes a long time to establish new habits. But the first time you take that Zumba class… the first time you test when you normally would never have done so, you took the excellent first step.

The second, is much *(@#$&@#&@ easier! What would you like to try? 2012-06-23 00:22:07 -0500 Report

I'm a medical professional and i've been dealing with patients like you. I always suggest patients that support systems are very essential in maintaining your blood sugar levels to prevent complications from diabetes. Maybe it's your age that makes you think otherwise about your mother, but if there is a person that is most concerned about your health, that;s her. It's would also be best to talk to her about your concern that you need help from her and not someone who would tell you things over and over again. Maybe it's just her way of checking you to know your condition. Or it may be that she does not see effort from you in managing your condition that's why she keeps on reminding you things. If you want your mother to stay far behind you, then you should show her that you are really managing your condition. Mothers knows best and she is just doing that for you. I hope this opens your mind about the situation.

Jade R
Jade R 2012-06-29 22:22:18 -0500 Report

Thank you. These responses have helped greatly. I do see that my mother is just looking out for me, and I guess I knew that before, but it just took all these people telling me for it to really sink in.

Stuart1966 2013-06-17 20:55:22 -0500 Report

Just because we are FAMILY does not mean we can't be wrong too… ; D

They mean well, but use the dead-wrong channels to get their message(s) across quite often. Doesn't mean we don't love them, just means they are using the wrong approach to get through…

wrmjw1 2012-06-22 22:19:48 -0500 Report

Im about 20 years older than you and Im having the same problem with my diabetes. The depression sets in and then you have this I dont care attitude. You really need to listen to those people who care about you like youre parents, maybe take a few months off from school, it might help.

Jade R
Jade R 2012-06-29 22:20:45 -0500 Report

Yeah, I was actually half considering switching schools because I think I just feel sort of generally lost. I have a real passion for baking and might switch over to a Culinary school. I am currently at a school without such a program and majoring in Business and feel very indifferent about it.

mackwhite 2012-06-22 04:42:54 -0500 Report

Yes it will surely help. we get number of problems just because we think about them too much. But its very difficult to neglect them…I lost my father because of high blood pressure..

Dana Jean
Dana Jean 2012-06-20 23:08:24 -0500 Report

I think the only real problem you have is a nagging mother, but she wouldn't nag if she didn't care! My mother still nags all the time but I learned to tune out the nagging and listen only to the good advice she has to give… and I'm 42! Don't take it all to heart or you will rebel against her but at the same time you will only hurt yourself. Be true to you and listen only to good advice from those who know what you are going through…there are people here who can help you a lot. So far I have gotten plenty of unbiased good advice since I joined this happy family and I am totally grateful to them all! They have helped me so much and they can help you too! Just don't listen to negative feedback from people who have no understanding of what you have to deal with day to day…my son doesn't let negative people near our family and he's been my best teacher through all of this since I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. My son happens to be the same age as you. What you need to do is learn all you can to take care of yourself without any interference from mom! She means well but she sounds a lot like my mother…tune out the negative and take in the useful! And don't beat yourself up over it, things will work themselves out just fine if you have faith in yourself to make the changes you need! Be strong and Good Luck to you!!! ;0)

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2012-06-20 15:48:31 -0500 Report

Hi Jade,

i read your discussion with concern, and I see that many others did as well. I really appreciate your honesty, as I am sure that others did.

I posted a discussion recently about compliance burnout that you might want to check out. Here is a link:

I did notice something in your discussion that I wanted to mention. I am not trying to be your therapist or to tell you what you should do. But I can say that I have clients in similar situations.

In general -- Individuals in your age group are going through a time in their lives when they are establishing their independence. Sometimes that process can lead to some tension with their parents, in the form of a power struggle, with parents trying to parent and their young adult children trying to be independent adults. This is normal.

Parents may appear to nag at their young adult children because they are worried about them. Their young adult children may resent this, and want to show them that they can do what they want to do. Your mom may be worried that you are ignoring your diabetes as a way of showing her that you can do whatever you want. And so more nagging...

I know that you want to be a successful person. And I know that you know that staying healthy will help you to be more successful, and that diabetic self-care is an important part of that. As you said, this is your choice and your responsiblity. You have the power here.

It might help to talk to a counselor about what's going on, to get a perspective on how you're feeling and help you to understand what's going on with you and your diabetic self-care. I would really encourage you to talk about your feelings of depression. I hope you will consider giving this a try.

It might also help to sit down and have a talk with your mom about how you are relating to each other. She may need some help in understanding that you want to be a responsible adult and manage your own life. And she may need some reassurance that you are are committed to taking care of yourself, and that you are not neglecting your health to prove that you can live your own life. It seems that you both really care about each other. This is the starting place for seeing what you can do about your communication, and seeing if you can come to some kind of agreement. You might even think about bringing your mom along with you to talk with your counselor. My clients do that a lot.

There is so much to look forward to in life, you have so much potential, so much ahead of you. I hope that you will be on your own side and take the best possible care of yourself.

It's great to be in touch with you. I hope that you will keep us posted.


MetalCohen 2012-07-06 01:07:32 -0500 Report

TY for your experience with moods, unfortunately I have to deal with being Bi-Polar, I learned many of these coping functions many years Gago. I didn't know Diabetics had these modd probs too. TY =(^.^)= Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2012-07-07 21:00:16 -0500 Report

Hi! I got it, thanks for the clarification. Being bipplar means a lot more challenges, I know. I am glad you have been getting help with coping! Great to be in touch with you again. Take care!

Jade R
Jade R 2012-06-29 22:16:35 -0500 Report

Thank you so much I really appreciate your view on things. I would really appreciate getting some help and I did go see the Counselling and Psychological services at my school right before the end of the semester and they said they'd call me to make an appointment for the summer since I live in the area and said I could keep going but they never called so I am going to start going to get a hold of them and start going in the Fall.

till50 2012-06-19 12:20:43 -0500 Report

my mother die from diabetes and she did not care. now i have it ,and i care. i am 54 years old and i been diabete at the age of 6. my A1C is 6.9 just try it ok.
it is your not theres

cindygal1 2012-06-19 12:37:38 -0500 Report

Welcome to our little comminty where you can learn a lot, you learned the way about carrig that you have diabetes and I am sorry for thatl You have to care before you casn help yourself. We all share information on here, and listen to each other My A1c was 6.1 yesterday, my goog cholestol had come up 14 points, but the doctor wants to leave me on my medication because she wants to see if it will change some more, because I have only been on this medication for a month now. I am hoping that it will kick nnd work for me . I would like to be your friend and talk to each other. I will help you where I can, I like your attitude and you can understand that if you don't care of yourself that the diabetes will get worse. Stick with it and you make it. You can made a lot of friends on here. Would ;ove to hear from you again. bye for will write more latr on.

till50 2012-06-20 18:40:35 -0500 Report

thank you sooooooooooooooooooooooooo much for your kind words.that is very nice of you ,thank you.

Jade R
Jade R 2012-06-19 14:47:24 -0500 Report

That's great about your A1c and cholesterol. :) That's one thing about me I've always had very high levels of good cholesterol and low bad cholesterol.

Type1Lou 2012-06-19 12:18:13 -0500 Report

Have you had your vitamin B12 levels checked? I was diagnosed with depression last December and my doctor discovered that my B12 levels were seriously low which could be a major cause of your depression. Since then, I've been receiving a monthly B12 shot and taking a daily B12 sub-lingual supplement and I feel back to normal…more interested in things. It's worth getting checked. Hope you find the answers you need.

Jade R
Jade R 2012-06-19 14:36:19 -0500 Report

To be honest I'm not really sure if that is something they check when I go to my appointments, I will look into it thank you.

Samantha.Marie 2012-06-19 03:34:12 -0500 Report


You are obviously a smart girl who is in a destructive phase. Some part of you cares or you wouldn't be venting/seeking advice. I don't have any additional words of wisdom for you that hasn't already been posted except to say you will take care of you when the time is right, but please don't wait too long. You know the consequences. I know the stress being a 3rd year college student can bring. Maybe you need to stop being so hard on yourself. These destructive ways are often signs of self hatred. Lord knows we all have been there. Do what's right for you and give your mom a break she is just worried about you.

Jade R
Jade R 2012-06-19 14:45:27 -0500 Report

Yes its very discouraging and tough. I feel like I'm running out of time in school and I'm never going to find a real job like I want. I had two interviews this summer for professional type summer jobs but didn't get either position. :(

TsalagiLenape 2012-06-18 20:16:13 -0500 Report

Well if you want a better life then you have to work for it. Hence getting help for your depression and diabetes. So I know you can do this. If you want something more than anything in the world you'd work hard to get it. Well if you neglect yourself and health how can you achieve your goals? So make a date with yourself. Stop procastinating and simply DO IT! I guarantee you that you will be more optimistic and happier when you do. It will help you immensely taking the reigns. Dont need no big banner waving just DO IT! I know you can because the only support I get is from here. I want you to think of how much better your life will be. How much happier healthier you will be. The sky is the limit. You will get better grades that is a way to show your parents that you thank them for all they do for you. Take a walk. IF you need to vent or talk come on here, many of us will listen and help you but first HELP yourself, ok? Because when you graduate with those good grades the job offers will come in. Then we all can CELEBRATE together. So come on I have more hurdles than you do and I am working at making my life better. I know you can DO IT! Hugs

Jade R
Jade R 2012-06-19 14:34:34 -0500 Report

Thank you. :) This website and advice coming from all these responses have done wonders to really get me to shake out of it and get motivated.

Harlen 2012-06-18 19:48:13 -0500 Report

Are you paying for school ? I would think not
I had my boys pay for school and after they where out I gave them the money
They asked me why if I was going to give them the money for it
It was to make them care
You dont pay for the things you need to take care of D .??
All things in life are only worth what you put into it .
Best wishes

Jade R
Jade R 2012-06-19 14:32:36 -0500 Report

I was blessed with a family that planned ahead and is very smart with their money and has very good insurance.

MoeGig 2012-06-18 18:39:38 -0500 Report

I can't add more than is shown below, except you might check two things: Thyroid and B12…both can cause severe depression and feeling of exhaustion. Both are easy fixes…Synthroid (a pill) and B12 pills you can buy at CVS.

Jade R
Jade R 2012-06-19 14:31:29 -0500 Report

My thyroid is fine I know that I go to my doctor appointments and get everything checked frequently. Thanks for the concern.

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2012-06-18 17:15:24 -0500 Report

I hope you don't mind, but i want to address very few words in your discussion. "I simply don't care." Don't think I am going to jump all over you for this, because I have a story to tell. I was 38 years old when my wife walked out on me and my girls. I knew I needed some help, some guidance, so I signed myself into the psych ward at the local hospital. Best decision I ever made. I was diagnosed with cliinical depression and sever SAD. All my life I thought I was normal and that everyone lived in their own little world of saddness. I know now that I suffered from depression since I was a child. I have been on medicine for it from that point until now, I am 58. So here you are at 19 and you know you suffer from depression. Deal with it now and a lot of other issues will fall by the wayside and you will want to be healthy. You are the only one that is fully in charge of your diabetes. Not your Mom or anyone else. Don't let your depression and your diabetes dictate to you who you are and what you will become. As a parent, if I had a child or a friend living in my house, I would probably do the same. "Good morning. How is your blood sugar? Did you remember to take your insulin?" It is one of the ways that a parent tells you that they love you and that they care about you. So how to deal with Mom..
1) How about giving her a hug and thanking her for caring about you so much?
2) then tell her you are an adult and that you, not her, needs to take full responsibility for your diabetes and depression.
3) if she cooks your meals, provide her with a few diabetic recipes. These will be good for her and anyone else that graces your table.
Then, commit yourself to getting long term professional help to deal with your depression. Long term being 18-24 months. When your depression is under control, you will want to care for yourself. I wish you the best, Jim
or "been down the path, but didn't know it needed addressed until a much later age than you are".

MAYS 2012-06-18 14:51:47 -0500 Report

Hello Jade,
This information on diabetes and depression may interest you:

Being a diabetic is not easy, not by a long shot, but then again life is what we make of it!
You are going to have your ups and downs, moments of joy, and moments of sadness.

The best way to manage your diabetes is to remind yourself daily that doing so will make your life easier in the long run, managing it will prevent the possibility of the complications associated with diabetes:

It's hard to fight, but easier to give up!
But which one is more rewarding?

I won't give you a song and dance, nor will I ever give you false hope, I want you to know that managing diabetes can be done, and that you can do it!
There will be moments when you may say,"Why bother?" and there will be moments when you will stand up and fight diabetes like a true champion, but understand this, diabetes has an effect on your endocrine system, thereby it affects your hormones which in turn influences the way your body deals with stress and depression.

Having diabetes is a lifelong learning experience, we must constantly teach ourselves, and others about diabetes, we must stay on top of things, keep up with the medical advances while holding onto what we know has been proven to work.

Meanwhile in spite of all of this, we must continue to live, not merely to survive but to live!
And that is what I want you to do, don't ever blame yourself, or anyone else because you have diabetes, look at having diabetes as a challenge.
The more you learn about diabetes, the more you will learn about yourself.
There is only one person in this world like you, you are unique, like no other.
I have learned to view depression as a tool for self improvement, when it comes I find something to do that will help me to better myself, I may read a book, listen to music or pick up my camera…something.

I do so too let depression know that I am in charge, take charge of yourself and be the best person that you can be at all times.
We are all spokespeople for diabetes whether or not we want to be, so spread the word, show everyone that you're o.k. and that you have everything under control!


Jade R
Jade R 2012-06-18 15:41:40 -0500 Report

Thank you for the links. I've actually done quite a bit of research on the subject of depression and depression among diabetics myself I was just sort of wondering if anyone on this forum could produce anything I haven't read. It's so alarming to hear statistics about how Type 1 diabetics are twice as likely to be depressed than non-diabetics and Type 2 diabetics and also that we only make up about 5 to 10 percent of the diabetic population.

Nick1962 2012-06-18 14:47:34 -0500 Report

Well, I’m not 19, female, or a T1, so I won’t even try to say I know what’s going through your head right now. But I’ll guess you’re at the “oh, just screw it I don’t want to deal with this anymore” point.
What I can offer is something about support. Since each of us are like snowflakes, different personalities, levels of need, levels of independence, etc., support for us is really a tricky thing. Unless your parents have diabetes, or have already had to deal with a child with diabetes, they have limited knowledge on how to support you. Try to be forgiving, they’re doing the best they can in the only way they know how. Your boyfriend has to be beside himself wanting to be the best boyfriend he can, and help any way he can, but since you’ve not figured out what you need yet, you can’t really tell him. That’s really all he wants – “just tell me what I should do”. I bet though if you sat down with him and told him “my doctor says I need to check my blood sugar X times a day, and I need to take X units of insulin…….” I’m sure he’d probably be very willing to make sure you did it. Sure, he’d be nagging, but you’d receive it better from him I think, and it would strengthen the bond between you (and your mother would get off your back a little).
What I can for sure tell you is that your life will be very different 10 years from now. No, I’m not a psychic, that’s just how it works, and the pressures you feel now will be gone and new ones will take their place. You need to prepare for those challenges (which is why you’re going to school right?) diabetic or not, so you’ll need to get around this obstacle and get it under control so you’re ready to face those times as a happier you.

Jade R
Jade R 2012-06-18 14:56:09 -0500 Report

This is really good advice, and my boyfriend has definitely learned a lot since we started dating and has a pretty good understanding of what I should be doing. When I am around him, he does nag me, and I do receive it better. The only problem with this is that I can't be with him all the time. We don't live together and don't really have any plans to, I'm sure those are things that will be thought of after college. Also its the fact that I feel like I don't want to be a burden to him. My mother, yes, she's been taking care of me since I was born and keeps up to date on everything diabetes so has that inbred compulsion to take care of me. My boyfriend though, he's got other things on his mind. I know he worries about me but its not at the forefront of his mind nor do I wish it to be.

Nick1962 2012-06-18 15:17:38 -0500 Report

Let him decide what's a burden to him. Chances are you've got a long way to go before he considers you one, and the only way you'll stop being at the forefront of his mind is when he doesn't have to worry about you (in fact he probably enjoys it a bit). You taking the proper care of yourself, like the intelligent person you seem to be, will be the only way he'll stop worrying. It'll also boost you in his mind a bit knowing that you're a person that can handle things.
And yes, you'll always be mom's little girl. I still have a hard time believing I've got a kid with a master's, I mean it's just not possible, she's only 28. There too, once mom sees you taking things seriously, she'll see you differently too.
You seem to have your head on straight regarding everything else. This is just one thing you're stuck on right now. If you wrap your head around it, it can be just another little life annoyance like having to put in contacts daily (OK a little more serious, but you get it).

Sorayacharles 2012-06-18 13:29:22 -0500 Report

Hi Jade, I understand the feeling of apathy. I'm actually caring for my mother with diabetes and feel like its too much for me at times because I feel like my whole life has to stop revolve around her. But I'm learning to step back and pray and ask God to help me. So I would suggest praying. I agree with the person below regarding finding something to live for. I believe we were created for a purpose. Once you finds hat I think you'll begin to care for living each day. I'll pray for you. I know God answers prayer.

Set apart
Set apart 2012-06-18 12:29:16 -0500 Report

Hi Jade, wow you've been at this a lot longer than me that's for sure. I'm almost at 10 mos. as a TI, and am 49 years old. When I was first diagnosed I took total control of everything and was convinced I could do this without any problems. When the doctor asked if I needed anything for depression, I thought he was crazy. Me, I've been disciplined all my life, I could handle this! I have realized lately as my need for insulin increases and my pancreas has totally given out, that I am so glad I got this later in life. Not sure how I would have reacted as a child, or teenager. I had the chance to eat junk food when I wanted, to go to a barbecue and eat all the chips I wanted. I could go on vacation and eat and try all the foods I saw. Now I realize how lucky I was! I know that as disciplined as I am now, it upsets me when people ask me how my levels are, or ask me if I can eat certain foods. This is all easier said than done, now that I'm in your shoes I know the pain and hurt you feel. I don't like nagging even from my husband who loves me so much. He knows I don't fool around with this, but he doesn't know how hard it is to not have special treats without causing havoc on our bodies and especially how you feel. I completed my Master's Degree in the fall right after my diagnosis in August. I graduated with a 4.0, why do I tell you this because you can do this! Do it for yourself and along with taking care of yourself your moods will change for sure. I know when my BGs run high I get moody and cranky and the last thing I want is someone dictating to me, I know what's going on and I know how to fix it. I am in control for myself and so that I won't be blind like my father at 69 years old! Take care sweetie, for you!!!! Best of luck and keep us posted. I've asked you to be my friend!

GeorginaD 2012-06-18 12:00:05 -0500 Report

Hey. I was diagnosed when i was 4 and am now 40, i went through the same thing in my late teens to early 20's. What helped me through it was a help group for type 1 diabetics, i found talking about things that annoy you and trouble you with people who have the same problems really helps. I am absolutly fine now, still have down days but have a good happy life, a seven year old son and am now very close with my mum and dad. See if there is a group near you.

Jade R
Jade R 2012-06-18 15:25:26 -0500 Report

Thank you I think posting on this website was one of the better decisions I've made lately just to vent like you suggested and to hear from other people who are going through the same things I am. You know they say there are 285 million people with diabetes living on this earth but as long as I've lived I've only met a handful and no one I would go to for advice.

Jade R
Jade R 2012-06-18 06:24:50 -0500 Report

Hey guys, these responses are all great. Problem is I'm finding most of them are focusing on my mother. When I wrote this I was upset about a confrontation I had with her so that could have been my main focus but now I'm really looking for advice about my depression and general apathy towards diabetes, school and life.

old biker
old biker 2012-06-18 08:27:42 -0500 Report

" if you want to accomplish anything in life. you can't sit back and hope it happens..You got to make it happen" Chuck Norris…With that said, It seems you still haven't comes to terms with your diabetes and that's a shame because you sound like an inteligent girl with your whole life ahead of you.
I don't have to remind you about what you already know will happen if you continue to ignore this..Why wait..You have the power to change this negative into a positive and make it work for you..That's a truism of life..
By dealing with D in a responsible way you will develope character traits that will seve you well all through your life..Control your diabetes and don't let it control you..I wish you much Joy, happiness and clear wheather on your journey through life

Jade R
Jade R 2012-06-18 15:28:22 -0500 Report

Hahah I love the fact that you quoted Chuck Norris. I know what you are talking about as far as developing character. Even if I've fallen off the wagon this last year or so my first 10 years as a diabetic definitely had an effect on how I developed as a person and I am proud of who I am because of it.

RC12 2012-06-18 00:02:37 -0500 Report

You have spite because your mother is being concerned, how would you feel if she didn't care? She isn't being a militant authoritative figure, she's being a mother. My mom didn't express too many concerns and pretty much led the "make your own choices" kind of life. That's also the type of parenting she did. I feel this is one of the reasons she died at 44.

A change in perspective is in order. Let her take credit for you taking care of yourself. If it means you being healthy, so what? Did she do something so horrible in the past that you think you'll accomplish some sort of revenge by letting yourself go? You can't do that to yourself, and that's what you have to think about. Separate the other issues you're having with them. If you want to be grumpy about them for the car and school thing, fine. That's perfectly normal! But embrace the fact that she cares enough to stay on you about your well being. Hug her and have a talk. It might help you if you tell her that you're going to change for YOU not her.

Nana_anna 2012-06-17 22:38:23 -0500 Report

The best way to beat this, is to just do it. You need to take better care of yourself now. Because when you get to be my age at 48 you will have more problems. I have type 11 diabetes. I also have neuropath, mellitus, uncontrolled diabetes. I have now learned that my thyroid is messed up and causing even futher complications. I was young and active at age 19. I was into sports, and keeping fit. I stopped though when I got married in 1993. I gained my weight. It has caused me allot of problems. I know the differences between type 1 and type 11 diabetes. I worked in the medical field for 25 years. I delt with allot of it and have seen allot of bad things to. I am not trying to scare you by no means. I am just saying take better control of your life now. You are blessed that your mother is there to help you. Mine isn't by her choice. I am older, but I still want her in my life. But she made the choice not to be involved. (Long story)…I would love my mother to be here right now with me, in other wards. Your mother doesn't mean to nag you. My husband does that to me to, because he loves me, and needs me. Your mother loves you, your her baby even at 19 years old. She has struggled with this to, that you have had this all your life. I am sure its been hard on her to see you in this pain. We have to just deal with it. It won't go away. But we can make the choice to get straight A's in school. If not then we can be all the best and keep working at our personal goals. It's the way we look at it. But mostly just take of yourself now, while you can. :)

Jade R
Jade R 2012-06-17 22:57:03 -0500 Report

Thank you. My mother actually works for social security and always tells me horror stories about people filing for disability because of diabetes complications in their 30's from not taking care of themselves. It's so easy to forget when your young that you won't live forever.

Anonymous 2012-06-17 21:16:24 -0500 Report

I feel so alone today my family is not speaking to me and others seen to have turned their back on me I just want a little company not apity party just someone to connect with

Jade R
Jade R 2012-06-18 15:30:17 -0500 Report

If you want someone to talk to don't post anonymously so we can friend you! Tell us more about whats going on in your life!

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2012-06-17 16:19:42 -0500 Report

I think you do care or you wouldn't want to take care of yourself. If you truly don't care, do nothing and this will cause you other problems with your body down the road. You want to be successful in life and manage your diabetes. The only one who is going to do that is you. Not one person on this site, your parents or your doctor can manage your health but YOU. If you choose not to care there is nothing anyone can do.

I think the reason you don't want to care is because you have parents paying your way through school and you are home with them during the summer. If they are paying for your education and your car, if you don't care enough to do well in school they should take you out and take the car and use the money for their retirement.

What I really think is happening is growing pains. You are still growing up and the hormones are doing what they do to most teenagers. You have an advantage a lot of kids your age don't have today. Parents who care. I worked at a college campus and saw kids struggling to work two jobs just to pay their tuition and living expenses. There were kids who went home with other kids over holidays because they had no home to go to. Staff took in students over the holiday so they would have somewhere to go. There ares student who don't have parents who could afford to buy them one book. If your parents didn't care, they would have kicked you out, not pay for your education let alone give you a car.

You said your mother is driving you up the wall with her nagging. You are driving her up the wall by not taking care of your self and not caring about being diabetic. Not taking care of it is only going to hurt you. She doesn't want to watch you go blind, lose a limb, have bad kidneys or suffer because you didn't care to take proper care of yourself. You should seek out a therapist and a nutritionist to help you. I would give anything if I could hear my mom or dad telling me what to do. Parents are going to do that as long as they are your parents. They do it not to nag but because they love you and want the best for you. The thing is you have to want to have the best for you too. Good luck and please take care of yourself.

Jade R
Jade R 2012-06-17 19:17:52 -0500 Report

Thank you for giving me some perspective on having good parents, but I must say you are far off base saying that I don't care because my parents are paying for my college. I'm not some spoiled child who has everything handed to her. My parents may pay for my college, but I have had a job since I was old enough and have paid for everything else in life including my own gas, food while I'm at college, and anything else.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2012-06-18 12:29:51 -0500 Report

Sorry but I can only reply based on what you wrote. You came off as a spoiled brat. It is good that you take care of those things but you have to care about YOU. Jade did I really give you perspective on having good parents. Even with your moms "nagging" I think deep down you know this.

I took care of my mom when she got sick and died. I was helping her get ready for the doctors and she got on me because I was trying to get ready also. We fussed because she wasn't helping me help her. We were both tired but we laughed at the dogs antics also that morning. I told her I wanted to go with her that morning. We were struggling financially because of the cost of her medications. Her pain medications for her cancer was expensive and not fully covered by Medicare. I didn't tell her that I couldn't go because I was going to Social Services to see what help was available for her. She would have told me not to go and that God would see us through the rough parts. That was the last time I saw her alive. She died in my sisters truck in the parking garage at the hospital. Two complete strangers helped my sister get her into the ER where she was revive. She later died again. I would give my last breath to have her here to nag me again just once. I knew with all the nagging, arguments and pain and suffering that she love me unconditionally.

Your mom is nagging you to get you to open your eyes. Keep in mind that she is the only mom you have and as long as she is your mother she is going to nag you about something for the rest of your life. Every person on this site was 19 at one point in our lives. We each have had our own individual trials and tribulations throughout our lives but we made it through the turbulent years of growing up. One day you might be a mom and you are going to do the same thing to your daughter or son. Moms worry it is genetic and they worry out of love.

Go to your mom, give her a hug. Get a piece of paper and together the two of you sit down and list what you are going to do to take care of your diabetes. This includes eating the proper foods and exercising, checking your blood sugar and keeping a log of the results. The key words is "you". Ask her to go with you to a nutritionist so both of you will learn together what you can and cannot eat and how the two of you can prepare meals together that the family can enjoy. You can also take this time to list your goals. Just don't make the list too long with goals you may not accomplish.

It isn't easy at first and their will be trial and error and you are going to backslide from time to time. I think a lot of us do. Once you start caring about your health you will find that it really isn't that hard. Again good luck.

Jade R
Jade R 2012-06-18 15:34:40 -0500 Report

I'm sorry to hear about your mother that truly is a heart breaking story. The suggestion of listing goals is one that I think I can stand behind. Easy way to track progress. Also thank you for the "you are going to backslide from time to time" bit. I think that every once and a while when I get on a kick and I really do start putting some effort into my diabetes care, I get one random high blood sugar in there and I just give up hope. Its good to hear that it happens to everyone.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2012-06-18 20:46:09 -0500 Report

Don't ever give up if you do diabetes wins. I have random highs and lows from time to time. I just roll with it.

Once you list your goals and track your progress you will find that this isn't as hard or as bad as you thought it would be. You can also put them in your task manager in you phone. These could be things you can accomplish in an hour. So far I have scratched off things I know won't happen on mine. Trophy Wife, Bungee Jumping, Hiking the entire Appalachian Trail etc…:>) getting too old to do those things and I don't like the woods or hanging upside down by a rubber band.

We are humans, we are not perfect beings so somewhere, at sometime, mistakes will be made and backsliding will occur. The key is learning from the times we make mistakes or backslide. This means that as much as you may want a banana strawberry smoothie loaded down with sugar that if you drink it your sugar level will rise. It tasted good going down but in the end you pay for it.

I use to belong to a group that was for people who suffered from depression. The lady who ran the group had a daughter who made magnets. She made ones that said "Anticipate Miracles" I have it on my fridge. I anticipate a miracle every day. Doesn't always happen and when a miracle happens it is a small one. I am still waiting for the big one. Don't know what it will be but I will know it when it happens

Jade R
Jade R 2012-06-19 14:41:59 -0500 Report

Its funny that you should mention a smooth considering I just finished a milk shake. >.< My blood sugar was low for once, figured I'd treat it in style haha. About the task manager thing, the idea really appeals to me. Unfortunately, I'm one of the probably 2% of people my age without a smart phone. The applications they have for them look really helpful. But I do download my CGM and tester information onto their respective programs from time to time.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2012-06-19 15:18:36 -0500 Report

PLEASE PLEASE tell me you enjoyed that milkshake. I hope it was chocolate :<). There is nothing wrong with treating yourself from time to time if your sugar level permits it and as long as it isn't habit forming. You have got to be the only person under 30 that I know who doesn't have a smart phone. I just got a smartphone two weeks ago. My sister and I needed them for our small business. Now we don't have to pay for a credit card machine since we can use the square. I am learning how to use the apps and training it to recognize my voice. I love the fact that I don't have to type text messages and emails. I can say them and just go back and add words not in the dictionary to the dictionary to make it easier every time I use it. Alas there is a down side to my smart phone. I am now addicted to Angry Birds (I downloaded all of them), Temple Run and Words With Friends.

I have not downloaded any diabetes information to it as yet. I bought a new meter that I can do that but I don't know where I put the darn thing. I have added a few task to the phone and trying to figure out how to do a market list.

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