By TsalagiLenape Latest Reply 2012-06-14 19:41:10 -0500
Started 2012-05-31 11:01:10 -0500

If you are on here, not being a positive person, then please leave. There is a lot of negativity in the World. We dont really need it here. We are here to help, learn, grow, support each other. I mean do we really need the drama, childish, ignorant nonsense coming here? I have been a monitor per se for another website for over ten years. Those few who come there, do these things and they get warned. If it continues or stagnates then keeps on going, those persons get banned from the website. So even if their names are blocked when its banned its using their computer I.D. number. Which I know that the higher ups can get and ban.
My Mother always said if you cant say something nice, then dont say anything.
I believe if you are going to point out something towars a negative degree then have a positive one on hand as well.
If you agree with this please speak up and well. Leave the nonsense behind.
I am here to help, learn, grow, support others as well as myself.
If this offended you, I apologize yet I am looking out for the best interests of those who come here for the same reasons I did. I believe you are one of them as well.

45 replies

suziesgirl 2012-06-04 20:51:46 -0500 Report

Easy girl, this is a free sight you know. No one wants to hurt anyone, if it happens its not intentional. Everyone doesn't agree with everyone all the time, thats what makes it so educational. Everyone is asking, sharing and mostly caring.

TsalagiLenape 2012-06-12 23:42:38 -0500 Report

Not when they attack you! Hence I was and thus on the point of leaving this website. Thanks to those who care and understand, I didnt leave. Yet if you want to disagree fine do it where EVERYONE can see it not in an inbox message. Stand up and post it where the ones in charge of the website can see it. I have hosted a women's chat room and etc for over ten years. This kind of behavior that I was subjected to and etc would of gotten the person banned. I do mutual respect. Yet if you lash out at me behind the curtain so to speak be ready for I will bring it public and thus I have no shame what so ever. I speak the truth, I dont lie nor like liars. I dont do negativity I have enough to deal with as it is. I come here to get the support I dont have at home in my life but thru here. Great friends who are like family means the world to me. Hence respecting each other's views is good. Thus we all can learn. Not meant to offend whatsoever.

suziesgirl 2012-06-13 18:36:33 -0500 Report

I've been attacked and it was upsetting, but like I said, everyone doesn't agree. Who cares what others think. If someone is really attackingf someone else or targeting them, they should be banned and by all means don't threat, report! Let the people who manage this site deceide. Negativity is everywhere and no one is left out. We all face negative from day to day, just listen to the news. No denies whether you speak the truth or not. So much anger, I don't know that I have ever disagreed with you. Sorry to hear you don't have family to support you at home, not everyone does. We do what we need to do, and it sounds like you do. We all have issues, if we didn't we wouldn't be human. I have learned that people who are hurting tend to strike out and hurt others, and really they don't mean to, they just don't know how to vent the anger in the right direction.

jayabee52 2012-06-13 00:14:33 -0500 Report

If someone bothers you in an inbox message you could do one of two things to remedy the problem:

#1 copy the inbox message and then paste it to an email to one or several of the Administrators here, and tell them how it has bothered you for that person to say that. (this is my preferred method — and I have done it before, but not a lot)

#2 copy the inbox message and post it in a new discussion so that everyone could see it. That might be embarassing to you however, and perhaps it might get folks to fighting, so I'd really think long and hard about doing something like that.

pixsidust 2012-06-11 14:27:57 -0500 Report

Hi Sandra. What you are unaware of is that we have a person here who has been extremely rude, arrogant who could not talk with out much name calling and put downs…in private via the inbox. She now has attacked three people we know of myself included.

People have wanted to leave because of her. She is a know it all and often tries to dominate conversations arguing as if everyone should feel as she does. I have never seen her start her own discussion. She feeds off everyone else.

I found her stalking me and when I shared what works for me, she was right behind to tell me I was wrong because it did not work for her. I was replying to the person in the discussion, not her. I asked her to respect me enough not to pick me apart relentlessly. I do not object to a differing opinion but she was using my statement case in point to say I was wrong. I might add she said I did not deserve respect.

She called me a child, referred to my mother, psychotic and a drama queen. Found it impossible to carry on a conversation without it. All of this is out of the public eye. I have unfriended her and I thought she was a friend that I could come to her. I however see her for what she is and can not stand her. I am one of a least three I know of that she has dished the name calling on. Now she follows me around and parrots what I say whether its work background or a symptom.

She once offered to leave and I extended my hand to her which she has forgotten. If she offers again I can say that I will let her know, she finally did get it right.

You however are right most people are caring. Every once in a while there is another type in the mix that shows their true nature when no one else is looking

suziesgirl 2012-06-13 18:40:52 -0500 Report

So sorry to hear that, you are right, I wouldn't reply to any of that person's responses, sometimes these people are very lonley and really wants to be a part of something even if it is just an argument. I hope I never do that to anyone, I hate being hurt, but we all have to endure it at times.
Have a great day

pixsidust 2012-06-13 22:04:46 -0500 Report

Thanks Sandra. I think you have a moral compass. This person is not lonely but a person quite in the public light, has many answers per discussion and tries to take many over. Its behind the scenes she behaves in an ugly fashion. There is no reason really to find that would compel empathy for how she acts.

Welcome to the group, even with a few bumps in the road, most as you say mean well…very well. I know you do too

suziesgirl 2012-06-14 19:41:10 -0500 Report

Well, I guess you have to call evil, evil. It is everywhere, and I am just as surprised as most to see it eye to eye. I say, get out the garlic, and a long spike and we shall dispose of this imp. Just kidding! Glad I haven't heard from the little monster or have I?? If we don't respond it will soon go away.

Anonymous 2012-06-03 19:00:19 -0500 Report

I don't think you are right in asking some body to leave. It would be like telling you to leave if you don't like what is being posted, both wrong. We have the choice to not read/ignore what we don't like and should use it. Can flag it if there is a problem. I'm sure we have all posted something that others may have felt was negative or not the same view as us, and maybe was even angered by it. But that is what makes this a discussion site, we all have our personal thoughts, experiences, as well as how we feel about being diabetic and there are those who may be in a negative mind frame due to it and in need of our help. Isn't that one of the reasons we are here to help? I know that this is a DIABETIC site and yet, some feel free to start discussions on personal issues that have nothing what so ever to do with it, and yet we still offer help. We don't ask them/you to leave, so it is in the eye of the beholder as to how the response is taken.

That being said, I would hope that anyone writing here would watch their language and be respectful of other's opinions and accept help/suggestions in the way they are offered. Don't be in such a negative frame of mind that you refuse to bend, after all you did come to a site that is here to help. If a person is posting in an abusive way, then there should be no response to them so as to stop the attention they seek.

I would hate to think we are limiting a person's freedom to speak if it doens't contain only rainbows and smiles as diabetes surely doesn't contain only those.

TsalagiLenape 2012-06-12 23:49:52 -0500 Report

Well I can see you cant post unless its Anonymously. This has to deal with inbox messages where it starts at. Not where everyone can see it. I can read, write and talk without disrespecting the language or rules thereof. I am able to articulate what I am deailng with. I can also inspire, improve and thus learn to be better in myself. What affects us emotionally affects our BS aka Blood Sugars. To the point we end up in the hospital. For me that isnt working. Respect works both ways. I didnt ask anyone to leave just to stop the negativity. There is plenty out in the World for us to deal with. This should not be here. But alas it does happen. So I agree with the statement of : "IF a person is posting in an abusive way, then there should be no response to them so as to stop the attention they seek." Yet in an emotional upheaval it compounds it not alleviates. That is why we are here to "help each other" To alleviate the stress, burdens, and etc. To help us cope and learn to become posiitive and stay that way. Not meant to offend.

pixsidust 2012-06-04 15:18:24 -0500 Report

There are those who stalk, try to constantly prove someone else as having invalid feelings and then resort to name calling and belittlement when asked to stop. This individual knows who she is and knows she has done this more than once and recently. And there could be others where that shoe fits. We have the right to feel they should leave, just as you have the right to post anonymously. We are making the point. Play nicely in the sandbox

tabby9146 2012-06-06 11:51:19 -0500 Report

I always seem to miss these kind of people, which is good, but I wish I knew who they are, so I can stay away from them. I always miss the discussions that are heated. That's a good thing, don't want to see them, but curious as to what some of these people say and how they are being mean.

jayabee52 2012-06-06 18:03:22 -0500 Report

I have been in on several of these heated discussions, (sometimes in the middle of it) and believe me, you're better off missing them.

If you talk to the right people, they'd identify me as one of those people to avoid. I disagree, but sometimes I can be a bit snarky too.

red flower lady
red flower lady 2012-06-04 16:22:42 -0500 Report

I don't think a person should be allowed to do what you mentioned, hey maybe they can have their option to reply suspended for a short time, but be able to still view the discussions and if continue after restored, then be restricted for longer time periods?

Jan8 2012-05-31 16:07:00 -0500 Report

I simply don't read the negative. better to ignore it for me.

TsalagiLenape 2012-06-02 14:09:57 -0500 Report

I would love to but when its inboxed sometimes you cant unfortunately! So we do the best we can. Hugs

Caroltoo 2012-06-02 14:56:19 -0500 Report

You still have choices, Temi: you can stop them from emailing you and you can choose how you react to their email.

You can block the person from emailing by "unfriending them". Another option is to block them from the feeds you see by blocking on their profile.

If you choose to not block them, you still have the choice is to not open that message, or open and read to the first negative and then close it or delete it.

The trick is to not get hooked into their negatives and then argue or defend yourself because the comment is unfair or untrue. If they are negative, you have NO need to defend yourself cause it's their problem not yours. Let it go.

If it's a good friend who usually isn't negative, then it may be time to give them the benefit of the doubt and question what they mean.

A friend will explain; an angry attacker just pours more fuel on the fire.

Set apart
Set apart 2012-06-03 16:30:51 -0500 Report

Well said Carol, choices are often overlooked in some cases, we may make ourselves vulnerable! I refuse to be a victim been there, done that kind of thing! Life's too short to expend my energy on such issues! I have many acquaintences, but true friends I can count them on one hand with fingers leftover! It's a rarity, by choice!

locarbarbie 2012-05-31 14:09:07 -0500 Report

Temi, I agree that we all need to treat others with dignity and respect. I believe that from time to time we may have different opinions but we all deserve to be heard and should be able to agree to disagree…with kindness.

Controlled 2012-05-31 14:01:25 -0500 Report

Interesting. I actually left this site once because I couldn't get someone to leave me alone. He made presumptions regarding general comments made to the group and obsessed over them.

I came back but with a new screen name. So far my experience has been great. While healthy disagreements can be productive; merely being confrontational or negative should be reserved for the rest of the internet.

TsalagiLenape 2012-06-02 14:10:51 -0500 Report

That is why we need to remember we are here for ourselves but also for the many others who need the positive influence we can give freely! LOL Hugs

pixsidust 2012-05-31 13:26:53 -0500 Report

Recently a member felt she needed to prove wrong all the comments I was making as invalid. I came to her privately and as a friend. She told me I did not deserve respect and called me all kinds of names with arrogance. I unfriended her of course and blocked her. In it all I was amazed that someone could resort to such name calling all the while saying I was immature. That nastiness from her has prevailed before with other people. Her actions speak for her character.

I am not here to hear myself talk or inflate my self worth but to help and be helped humbly and with love.

FYI I did use the flag feature to no avail

Next Discussion: eating wheat bread. »