Do you ever feel like avoiding the dr?

By MOMMY_OF_AN_ANGEL Latest Reply 2017-01-22 09:43:43 -0600
Started 2012-05-15 13:08:10 -0500

Do you ever feel like avoiding the dr because you feel they either yell at you or talk to you like a kid because you have not been taking care of yourself? I feel that way a lot. I wanna scream at them that I am here for help! Not to be treated like a child and spoken to like Im completely clueless. I mean, if your going there for their help, they should be more compassionate. Just sayin…

41 replies

Kittiebitty 2017-01-22 09:43:43 -0600 Report

I've had this problem. My diabetes just isn't easy to control and I feel like I will be scolded for the zillionth time as though it's all my fault. I fell into a spell of not wanting to do anything because my diabetes felt so uncontrollable. I'm afraid of seeing my new endocrinologist for fear of what she will say to me. I agree that compassion is necessary rather than getting yelled at. What if they had diabetes? I feel they don't get it.

Anonymous 2015-04-27 22:54:47 -0500 Report

I have not seen my Dr in a little over a year but had to make an appointment to get my labs done so he will renew the few meds I take. I have cut out more than half of what I was taking and am doing fine. I do a lot of research on my own and some of the meds I was taking in my opinion could do more harm than good. It is MY health and MY decisions although he can suggest it doesn't mean I am required to do it. Also if I try to talk about a problem I have he cuts me off and changes the subject. I tried to tell him last time I saw him that I have what they call trigger finger but he cut me off, said there was no safe pain meds I could take considering my health problems and never did let me finish what I was trying to tell him. To put it simply, I would find a different Dr if I wasn't in an area with limited choices and my insurance would allow me to see someone else (it's like an HMO and they have to be on THEIR list". Since I can't do my own labs I guess I will have to keep the appointment so I can get my meds refilled.

Jesse's derby
Jesse's derby 2013-08-12 20:46:47 -0500 Report

I, too, have had problems with a doctor…although not diabetes related. He was a condescending jerk. Not only to me, but I overheard him talk down to other people as well. I finally stopped going. When I went to a specialist I see for other reasons, other Dr's name came up. (They know each other.) When I told specialist the names I was called by first Dr…he was appalled. Could not believe it! Next time I saw specialist, he had found a new Dr. for me! I have been seeing him ever since and I am so pleased! He keeps track of things, keeps me on my toes, listens to my questions…etc. So, there you go. 2 Great Doctors! They are only people. You wouldn't put up with this kind of abuse from other people…atleast I hope not! Don't take it from your doctor. Either tell him or get another doctor or both!!! It is up to you take charge of all aspects of your health!

AF Retired 462
AF Retired 462 2012-09-13 13:08:26 -0500 Report

I hate going to the doctor. I kept calling in my refills even though they were all used up…doctor redid them…did it again and again for 2 years. Not good to miss 2 years of seeing your doctor when you have diabetes.

gatp 2012-09-13 12:52:52 -0500 Report

Oh, yes, I want to avoid him when I gain weight. Or when I am retaining water. But I do follow my regimen religiously and have a 5.6 A1C but it hasn't helped me lose weight.

Roberlil 2012-09-12 17:39:44 -0500 Report

If your doc's office is not providing training/guidance, seek referral to specialist, referral to diabetes educator, also if you have insurance, call and ask if they ask a nurse or nutritionist on call trype of program. I think I felt the same (like no direction, no help) at first but, once I started seeing a specialist, those folks gave more education and spent more time because that was their only focus. In some communities, the local hospitals may sponsor free diabetes ed classes.

Anonymous 2012-09-08 14:15:56 -0500 Report

Feel like avoiding the doctor? You bet I do! I'm very interested in what medical personnel can tell me, show me, teach me. But overall I fear the medical care here in New Mexico where diabetes is widespread. Doctors, nurses, whomever often say to me:
"Yeah diabetes, that's real common with that. Watch what you eat, get more exercise, NEXT!"
And yes, I've researched, found a different doctor, on and on, not to much avail. Actually I'm a retired medical social worker and I've worked in a number of places around the country. Overall, healthcare here is the worst I have encountered except for remote rural clinics, even worse than on isolated military bases around the world.
Btw, my numbers are extremely good. I do take care of myself, though I'm not perfect.
But damn, I could use some real HELP, something besides scare tactics and cliches.
I'm not at all interested in being responsible for the "teachable moments" of inadequately trained medical personnel. It is my turn to get some HELP. For 40 years I worked professionally and was responsible for my training, good conduct, patient care and high level of service. Similarly, I was responsible for all those issues with the staff I supervised.
New Mexico is 48th in the nation in K-12 education. I don't know of a similar rating for medical/diabetes care, but, if it is similar, that is a pretty strong local tide to be rowing against.

gatp 2012-09-12 05:56:37 -0500 Report

What really bugs me is that all the time before I was diagnosed, Drs. said, when asked, "oh, diabetes? There's a pill for that." No one ever talked about prevention.

kchapmans1 2012-09-08 16:09:41 -0500 Report

ME TOO! Newly diagnosed, in extreme SE New Mexico. NO help, NO information, nothing. I desperately need a dietician's help for me and my autistic daughter, got laughed at. I am so clueless on where to even begin to tackle this disease that broadsided me (I am active, diet is good, never really ate junkfood or ate much sugar, what the heck happened????) I've asked for help, but it is not forthcoming.

gatp 2012-09-12 05:59:54 -0500 Report

We had a specialist in Endcrinology here in rural Colorado but her own diabetes forced her to retire. I felt lost for a long time but now I have found nutritionists through hospitals and a good GP.

TJRAFUSE 2012-09-08 14:07:02 -0500 Report

As a Diabetic of 49 years and a medical proffesional I can't express strongly enough that if your Dr is treating you negatively in any way you need to get a new Dr. Your Dr should be spending a minimum of 15 mins with you unless you end the appt sooner. They should listen to ALL of your concerns and address them. If they are unable to take care of it they should refer you to someone that can. As far as the diabetes is concerned you need to listen to what your body is telling you. If you don't feel right go to someone that can help you figure it out. Please keep your eye appt and cardiac appts. They are so important. I have had quadruple bypass and numerous laser surgeries on my eyes and I have and always have had excellent control of my BS. My A1c is always around 6. I do have an insulin pump and it makes my life so much easier it is amazing. Please don't fool with your health because you will miss out on so much like being a grand parent and there is nothing better.. God Bless and be healthy…

DeanaG 2012-07-27 22:08:04 -0500 Report

I am very happy with all my doctors, primary care, endo, foot doctor, & eye doctor.
They listen and ask me questions and I have never felt rushed with any of them.
I always get nervous when getting my test results, but that is on me. ;-)

rayray215 2012-07-27 18:21:37 -0500 Report

i dont go to my doctors anymore cause im sick of her actin like ur parents let me live my own life **** an every time i use to go c her i had to worry about her admit me to the hispital cause my bs was 600 so ******* wat i can understand getin admited if i was dizzy or sumin was seriously wrong but i was just fine

2012-07-27 21:54:34 -0500 Report

I went to the Dr yesterday with a BG as high as 802. If I didn't go I probably wouldn't be sitting here now and responding to your post. I didn't get admitted but I got 2 full liters of saline solution shoved into me thru an IV. And yes because I did go 2 the Drs and went thru all that my BG went from an 802 down to a 182. Sure glad I went. But if anybody knows Jayabee knows. He's smart. I've already lost my part of my sight due to this damn disease. I have no peripheral & depth perceptions because of diabetes. And it really is scary when you can't go down a flight of stairs because you think that you might fall. (Going up is no problem. It's the coming down that always scares me.)

rayray215 2012-07-28 15:30:59 -0500 Report

the docs office i use go 2 dont do nun like that they just admit u to the hospital so **** that an seeing a doc is pointless they dont ******* help u at all they just say eat this but not that an u can have this but just a very lil bit like wtf thanks for pointin out the obv a 9 yr old daibetic would no that so yeah im done seeing the doctor i havent seen my doc since march i have takein one drop of insuln or takein ant meds or checked my bs in 2 months i just no it runs very high 600 mite be a lil exaggeration but at the least 450

jayabee52 2012-07-27 18:35:15 -0500 Report

With a Blood Glucose of 600 something IS seriously wrong (even if you don't think so). However, the only person you hurt with a BG that high, is you! I ignored my BG levels when first Dx'd too. My diabetes has created a lot of complications (see my profile for a list) because I didn't take care of myself early on. I pray your attitude about caring for your health will change soon.

rayray215 2012-07-27 21:44:39 -0500 Report

i already have a few problems but not cause of my high readin i was diagnosed at 18 im 23 now docs said i had it since 4 all those yrs untreatd so much damage was done my feet r really bad my the sun hurts my eyes badly i doubt my attitude will change i hope so but its so hard to eat propely an i have depression really bad which also mean i really wanna end my life so if everything goes rite ill be gone sooner then later

jayabee52 2012-07-27 23:29:46 -0500 Report

Ray, I also know what it is to suffer from depression. I wanted to end my life from about age 13 till I found something worth living for.

I was stricken in Nov 2006 with a kidney shutdown and had to undergo dialysis. I could have stopped my dialysis because at that time I had no one and nothing for which to live. I had been divorced from the mother of my 3 sons and had no significant other to take her place, I had been sidelined from working about a year before the kidney shutdown, so I had no income nor did I have medical insurance, and a lot of bills. So I had thought seriously about stopping dialysis treatments and letting the poisons in my system kill me.

I decided against that since I did not want to give my 3 sons a bad example of quitting when things got tough for them.

Had I stopped dialysis I would have missed the best part of my life. I got medicare insurance and disability income the next year. Then I found out that my kidney infection had cleared and I no longer needed dialysis. And to top it off I was contacted by a lady and fell in love with her. I got married to her and moved to be with her. So all my things I lost were replaced.

So you may wanna take care of yourself so that you are ready for good things when they come your way.

rayray215 2012-07-28 15:39:43 -0500 Report

im happy u found sumin worth liveing for i have for ***** sakes im 23 an caint work my hands feet an back r that bad i hope it will change but i doubt it an my pain it my hands back an feet aint my fault cause of high bs its from all those yrs unknown an so much damage was done i doubt ill ever find something to live for thanks for your concern means a lot that ppl idn care about me

jayabee52 2012-07-28 16:06:56 -0500 Report

I'm 60 and I thought that way before. You may regret later that you didn't take better care of yourself. I know that I do.

wrmjw1 2012-06-13 19:18:14 -0500 Report

I like my doctors but I get afraid that if I tell them that I havent been taking my insulin for a few days they may have me commited again.

jayabee52 2012-06-13 19:34:23 -0500 Report

Committed? Like in an institution?

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2012-05-24 22:17:45 -0500 Report

Hello my friend!

I am not sure if this is realistic or not in your doctor's case... But I was wondering if it might help to let him/her know when they are saying something in a patronizing manner. As others have said, doctors can get so busy that they forget to talk to people as fellow human beings and adults.

You don't have to give your doctor a lecture. Instead, you might wait until a "teachable moment" arises. For example, when he or she says something that makes you feel like a child, then you might say: "When you talk to me like that, I feel like you are treating me like a child instead of an adult." Or you might make a little joke out of it, e.g. "Wow, I suddenly felt myself turn into a four year old again. Do I look any different to you?"

This may not help, but you never know. I can certainly understand your frustration.


Nana_anna 2012-05-21 11:12:16 -0500 Report

Yes! I do especially when I tell them I can't hear well, they get an attitude when I ask them to repeat or speak louder. When they don't it makes me want to get up and leave. I would walk out without paying the co pay, when I mistreated by anyone in the office. Especially when they know I had a specific request.

babysitting barb
babysitting barb 2012-05-21 10:10:30 -0500 Report

I agree! My doc spends about 7mins with me every 3 months and then charges me $126.00! Ive tried to tell her about some symptoms Ive been experincing but she just blows me off and only wants to refill my meds and spends hundreds of dollars on lab work(which she knows I have no insurance at all). Ive tried several docs in my area and they are all like take ur meds and lose 20lbs (like I dont take my meds or know that I need to lose 20lb!) I have never gotten more than 7 mins with her and Ive timed her! I also make my appts for 8am when the office opens and I wait on her for 45 mins minimum to even get there. Well by then her patients are all backed up. I feel your pain. Not that I want to whine to my dic but it would be nice if someone would listen to my concerns and new symptoms I'm having! And yes my doc is very rude too.

MOMMY_OF_AN_ANGEL 2012-05-21 17:01:53 -0500 Report

Wow! Im just afraid of getting yelled at,…but when your doc is not listening to your problems, thats NOT good. You need someone to listen. Have you tried finding a diff doc? And maybe researching reviews on himor her?

cindygal1 2012-05-18 20:43:40 -0500 Report

Maybe you give the impression that you don't care, you should try and talk to your doctor and tell her how you feel. I have a wonderful doctor she is caring and understanding. I wouldn't trade her for anything. She takes the time to answer my questions, and goes into detail. and goes over my results with me. Talk to her and tell how you feel and see if she changes and if she doesn't then I would avise looking for another doctor.

JSJB 2012-05-18 03:23:53 -0500 Report

Sometime doctors get carried away when the patients they are treating act like they know more than they do. If you feel you are being treated like a child, tell you doctor you are an adult and should be treated like one. Then if you are going to them for treatment and not following their instructions they get upset just like a parent would do with a child, so they raise their voices. Why go to them if you are not following the treatment. My doctor wants to run tests on whatever but I said to him that I am here for DB treatment and will consider his suggestions.

MOMMY_OF_AN_ANGEL 2012-05-21 17:05:38 -0500 Report

I agree. I have had this since I was 8 (so 19 yrs now) and I think sometimes, certain dr's get mad when I cut them off (i know its rude, but I dont want to be told what Ive known since i was 10) and basically finish their sentence. I know how many times to test, i know how insulin works, why i have diabetes, and the effects if I dont take care of myself will be. I know how to manage my pump and count carbs. So yes, forgive me if you want to sit here for 30 mins and tell me things Ive known for a while. (And maybe even ebtter ;)

cindygal1 2012-05-16 22:06:46 -0500 Report

I have run into this situations like this and I don't put up with it either. I told her that either she could help me or she couldn't, I made an appointment with her partner, and they called me at home and wanted to know why and I told her that she was not listening to me, after that I have not had a problem. She has been very helpful

jigsaw 2012-05-16 07:37:57 -0500 Report

I have run into similar situations! I don't put up with it. Keep in mind, you are paying a doctor to help you! The last time I saw a doctor that wouldn't let me get a word in edgewise, I fired him. I had his receptionist give me copies of my med records, and cancelled my followup appointment. He surprised me when he personally called me at home to find out what happened. After all, their human also, even if they don't know it!!!

MOMMY_OF_AN_ANGEL 2012-05-16 09:17:36 -0500 Report

Wow! Well, good for you! Im not so sure I could do that. I am on Meciaid (state insurance as I am not eligible for temp staffing insurance) and there are VERY few Endocrinologists that accept that insurance. Eventhe one I dod manage to find is about 45 minutes away :( What happened when he called you? Did he apologize?

jigsaw 2012-05-16 14:53:24 -0500 Report

He tried to explain it away and said he could only alot so much time to each patient. That's all well and good, but I never had the opportunity to say why I came to see him. He asked me 2 or 3 questions, listened to my heart, took me down the hallway to his nurse to have my blood taken and disappeared!
By the time he called, I already found an excellent doctor that not only listens, but he has diabetes also!!
In your situation, I guess you'll just have to utilize a great deal of diplomacy, and let your doc know that you need to have a talk with him. I hope you do, and there is probably a good chance that he'll hear you. I hope you solve the issue at hand!