Giving up hope

By restlessdiabetic Latest Reply 2012-07-21 21:56:05 -0500
Started 2012-04-17 20:55:05 -0500

So I have been on so many medications and have so many medical problems I seriously am giving up hope. I'm 34 yrs old and my body feels like I'm 80. I am including a shopping list of my medical conditions:

Type 2 diabetes
Chronic fatigue syndrome
Sleep apnea
Panic n anxiety attacks
Chronic pain
Kidney problems (had kidney failure 2x)
High cholesterol
Vitamin d deficiency

Now you tell me, at my age should this be? Why takes all these medications when I'm slowly losing my patience, my hope, my self esteem, and all my happiness :(. I don't know where to turn to, whom to talk to, or even if it's worth taking all these pills day after day. When I go to a new dr I feel like I'm being judged when I make my list of meds. I don't know if I'm just being paranoid. Anyway thanks for letting me vent and for reading this.

28 replies

Set apart
Set apart 2012-04-23 05:48:47 -0500 Report

Hi Restless, nice to meet you! I am so sorry for all of your pains and trials. Like you it seems as if my life has been constant challenges both personal and now these health issues that I face as a new T1, I face my life every day trying not to let IT or my other health issues get me down! Be strong and don't ever give up! Take one day at a t time and like Pixiedust said conquer one thing at a time. We must be diligent in fighting for our health every day!

restlessdiabetic 2012-04-23 05:34:13 -0500 Report

I haven't forgotten about u girls. It's been rainy n cold so it's been a bad weekend for me. The cold is so hard on my body :(. Everything hurts!! But i will follow u sometime today b4 I take my meds in the am. Hope all is well by u guys!!!

GabbyPA 2012-04-21 14:29:01 -0500 Report

I didn't know how to respond to your post here. It breaks my heart to see you struggling with so many things. I cannot even begin to understand the fight you have to face every day. Things like the vitamin D deficiency can be settled with some outdoor activity and supplements. I suffer from Asthma as well and find that deep breathing exercises help me and also train me to deal with an attack.

One thing that I am doing that has been helping me is turning my focus from the things that are "bad" to things that are "good". It takes some intense self talk some days, and I know with your list it will be more of a challenge. But here is what I do to help keep my mind forward focused.

There is a great book called "You Can Heal Your Life" and it has some practical self talk exercises to help you focus a good energy toward the trouble spots of your life. What I have done is focus on one a month and in the beginning I feel like I am almost lying to myself, but it is true that the what you say to your self you will believe. So why not believe good things instead of bad things?

So I take an index card and I choose the affirmation I am going to work on. I make a drawing on the front of the card that is how I feel about what the affirmation says. On the back I write the affirmation (she has many listed in her book) and I tape it to my bathroom mirror. I say them when I am in there and especially in the morning when I am showering. I recite them to my face in the mirror.

I am not saying that this will replace your doctors or support people. But it gives you a bit of self esteem to be working on things this way for yourself.

restlessdiabetic 2012-04-23 05:40:50 -0500 Report

Hey Gabby,
Thank u for taking the time to read my post and for responding. I will def try some of what you mentioned and I will let u know how the exercise is working. Also I love books so I may read the book u mentioned :). Anyway have a good day ttyl

pixsidust 2012-04-19 18:00:19 -0500 Report

Your plate is full
There is no question that you have suffered and it is hard!
Do what you can.
Take charge as much as you can, your sugar,
the cholesterol, vitamin D etc..
We have to learn to be our own best friends
I hurt more and more as time goes by and it is hard
Do your best and be your best
Know in the midst of it all…there is love
And there is friendship…Ours as well

restlessdiabetic 2012-04-20 22:08:35 -0500 Report

Thank u so much for taking the time to read my post n for ur inspiring words. I am trying my best to keep it together but can use friends along the way. Thx again for being so kind.

pixsidust 2012-04-20 22:38:48 -0500 Report

Together our shoulders are broad enough.
I will follow you, follow me back and we will be friends!

restlessdiabetic 2012-04-21 03:33:50 -0500 Report

Sure will. Tomorrow I will go on my laptop n follow u can't do it from my iPad . Thx again for responding n for offering ur friendship :)

Prprincess0923 2012-04-18 22:11:40 -0500 Report

Hi please don't give up,I have the same promble as well but what gives me hope is my husband and how he helps me in all ways and I think of my family as well. I know what u mean cause there times I feel the same way too. Best of luck and keep your head up high

restlessdiabetic 2012-04-20 22:12:26 -0500 Report

Hey :) thx for responding. I also have my husband who is very supportive and helps me in any way he can and god knows how grateful I am for him n all he does. Sometimes though I feel bad n guilty for putting him thru all this n feel like he deserves better than this n then I get depressed. My family has pretty much washed their hands of me. I get nothing but criticism from that end n absolutely no support :(
Anyway thx again for responding n best of luck to u as well.

jayabee52 2012-04-18 00:34:40 -0500 Report

Howdy restless!

NOBODY should be troubled by all those things at ANY age.

My late bride "Jem" had many what she laughingly called "medical challenges".
I don't want to diminish or make small your suffering, just to let you know that there were others who had a lot of medical problems also, so you don't feel so alone.

Jem had total Blindness (retinitis pigmentosa) at age 14. Then she later developed endometriosis (adhesions in her reproductive organs) necessitating a hysterectomy, she had Congestive Heart failure (CHF arrythmia & tachycardiia) at about age 35, Diabetes (DM) type 2, resulting from her CHF. She also had Asthma and Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary disease (COPD), Gastro Esophogeal Reflux Disease (GERD), Chronic Kidney disease (CKD), Lupis (SLE). Rhumetoid Arthritis (RA). Fibromyalgia, and probably a couple more minor medical challenges which slips my mind at the moment.

She was a candidate for a triple transplant, but that was ruled out due to the SLE. She was a candidate for a pacemaker but that was ruled out too.

Yet you would be hard pressed to find a more sweet tempered, upbeat, and ray of sunshine lady than I found in my late bride Jem. She was truly a gem! When we were courting (long distance relationship) she wanted me to send her jokes, and wanted me to send certain jokes to her brother and to her friends. She would memorize the jokes she liked the best and would share them with her Drs at her appointments. She was really a ball of fun! And I was so blessed that God put us together for the short time we had.

She had a profound impact on my life and I no longer had the depression with which I suffered from my teens until I "met" her.

She had a lot of "medical challenges" but she didn't let that get her down too much (occasionally, yes, but she'd quickly rebound) Her medical challenges and the way she was most of the time indicate that life is 5% of what happened to her and 95% about her response to the 5%.

I pray you can find a good balance in your life despite your medical challenges.

James Baker

restlessdiabetic 2012-04-20 22:17:52 -0500 Report

Wow she sounds like she was an amazing woman. The way she took on life with that 95% thing, I might just try to do it that way. I guess some of us were just meant to fight these battles, it just gets exhausting n depressing at times esp when u feel like ur hitting dead ends:(. Anyway thx for ur story or rather ur bride's story it is very inspiring.

jayabee52 2012-04-20 22:37:16 -0500 Report

She was! I know that it gets exhausting, and she did have a few down times when she was having "flares" with her SLE or RA, but I saw that as relative to he intensity of the pain she had.

I also have multiple medical challenges (you can view them on the "about me" tab of mu profile) and so I know how it is.

And as far as the "95% thing" goes, it is a truism. And your 95% response to the 5% will be there no matter if you deal with it positively and proactively or freak out over a particular diagnosis (or many Dxs) and respond negatively in some way — like burning out or giving up one's hope. You have control over your response to it. I pray your response will be positive!

restlessdiabetic 2012-04-18 00:10:44 -0500 Report

Yes it's absolutely true. Thanks for the reminder

Caroltoo 2012-04-18 03:26:42 -0500 Report

Why don't you "follow" me back after you look at my profile and learn a little about me. Then we could talk a little by private message here on the site email.

restlessdiabetic 2012-04-20 22:19:17 -0500 Report

How do I "follow" you?? Would love to chat.

Caroltoo 2012-04-20 22:22:31 -0500 Report

You click on my picture here beside this posting. That takes you to my profile page. Then beside my picture on that page, you would select the word "following" and click on it. I thought I had done it earlier, but just found I had not "followed" you as I indicated. My side is done now. When you click on yours, it should send me an email, and then I can send you a brief one stating that it was completed. Then we can talk online.

restlessdiabetic 2012-04-20 22:25:41 -0500 Report

It appears to not be working on my iPad so I'm going to have to go on my laptop just to follow u. I will get on that in a few. Thx again :)

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