Just an Update.........

By nanaellen Latest Reply 2012-04-03 12:20:03 -0500
Started 2012-03-17 11:27:54 -0500

Well, I STILL can't get this under control and have just been on an emtional rollercoaster lately! NOTHING is working!! On top of all the diabetes stuff going on I had a mole removed from the middle of my forehead and under my eyelid. I look like I got shot in the middle of my head!! And they frooze 2 other moles on my arm. I STILL have to go back and have the other eye done but because I almost passed out they want me to go into the hospital for the other eye. Just got the results back from my forehead and it came back positive for skin cancer cells…now they want me to come back so they can freeze more of the area around where the mole was! Can't begin to tell you how scared I am!! This will be the 3rd time for skin cancer on my face! The first time they removed the whole nostril from one side of my nose and did a skin graft to replace it! Just feel like I'm gonna lose it!! Is THIS how I'm supposed to go???? Taking a little piece of my face off each time???? I'm NOT a vain person and never thought I was beautiful but am I supposed to die UGLY??? So VERY VERY frustrated!! Got a LOT of stuff going on right now…can't take THIS on top of it!! Can't get my numbers under control either! Doesn't matter WHAT I eat or DON'T eat it still stays in the high 200's and I'm so tired of these God aweful shots!! Don't even know what else to say…SSSSOOOOOO discouraged!!

79 replies

troublemaker27 2012-03-22 12:05:56 -0500 Report

living with diabetes is a hellish nightmare i can't eat what i want and people worried about me too much.
i wish they would all stop worried about me.
just stop or i will kill myself

GabbyPA 2012-03-24 13:05:30 -0500 Report

Worry is a sign of love and though it can be miss placed, it is still that they care for you. I would take some time to sit down with them and talk about the limits of "oppressive worry" you can deal with and let them know you can take care of yourself. Tell them you will ask for help when you need it. Or give them little jobs to do for you so they can focus on one thing and not just worry.

Furdgs 2012-03-21 09:56:00 -0500 Report

Hi Nanaellen. I've been struggling with my diabetes for the past 13 years. It's the most horrible thing in the world when your doctors and nutritionist's look at you that you lie to them about what you eat. I followed all the rules. I exercised and even had gastric bypass to loss weight. About a year after dropping 120lbs, my numbers were back up. And when I say my numbers were high, I'm talking 400-500 range. I had no rhyme or reason. Ate everything that they told me to. I'd just look at a cookie and my sugars would spike. It's a horrible disease and I can't imagine also going through skin cancer on top of it.

I did have a saving grace to all of this. My saving grace is VICTOZA. I combine the Victoza with my Lantus (1x a day) and now a high sugar for me is 130! I'm not kidding. I know it's expensive, although a 3 month supply for me is only $14! It's not an insulin, but for some reason, combined with my insulin it has made the world of difference for me. Again, your talking to someone who has had about 6 "diabetic" hospital stays, been out of control for 13 years, and never…and I mean NEVER…had been able to control my sugar numbers.

Talk to your doctor and have them give you a sample. It took me about 3 days, but I couldn't believe it. In my book it's a miracle drug!

GabbyPA 2012-03-21 08:17:38 -0500 Report

Living in Florida, I get your worry about the cancer. My mom has had several spots on her face taken off. They were worst on her ears and one on her nose was pretty bad. But as long as she keeps up with them, she is fine, and so will you be. Just keep on top of it.

As for scars, I find them fascinating. My husband has several and loves to tell the tale of each one. I think that those of us with them have stories to tell of a life well lived. If we have not broken things or hurt things...we have not lived. So wear them proudly.

Jeanae 2012-03-20 19:48:55 -0500 Report

I am stunned at all that you are having to face right now. I am amazed that even though you are afraid that you have the umph to keep going! That tells me you are a very strong person. Your face does not define you. Your spirit, your heart your character that defines you. You are not an ugly person. I wish I could help but all I can do is say I am praying for you. Stay strong. Vent. Cry. Scream. But then draw upon your strength and press forward. I am facing issues that are leaving me scarred inside. I know this- every person that has lived has scars- some carry them outside, some carry them inside but we all have scars. We all have the power to overcome them as well. Focus on what is true- that you are a beautiful person. Look in the mirror and see what you have accomplished- being a good daughter, wife, mother, friend, what ever you know that is true about yourself and let THOS things define you. Look in the mirror and see that worthy person staring back. Hugs sweet lady.

nanaellen 2012-03-20 23:35:01 -0500 Report

I am SO NOT worried about the scars!! I've had skin cancer 3 times on my face and I had a major car accident where I got 143 stitches from my nose to the top of my head and I've had those scars since I was 21yrs. old!! It's NOT the scars I'm worried about…it's the whole cancer thing!! And I have SO many moles and the older I get the more of them I get!! I'm wondering WHY I'm getting cancer cause I avoid the sun cause of other meds and I burn easily!! Haven't even been to the beach in nearly 4 years! Thanks for being so sweet and supportive I truely appreciate that! Your friend, Ellen :)

TsalagiLenape 2012-03-20 08:36:31 -0500 Report

Nanaellen stressing out isnt helping anyone especially you. If you can delegate, as far as the health concerns tell your doctors how this is making you feel. I know about the scarring of removal of moles and etc. Just dont get a lot of sun and use sunscreen along with some Vitamin E. You think about getting a therapist or a counselor for yourself. Let your family know they need to help out. Take a bubble bath lock the door light some candles play some music to help destress yourself. Make a list of the things needed to do, delegate. It may not be the way you want it done, (I know this well) but it will get done. One day at a time is a good song to listen to. So do just that and I will pray for the best for you. Hugs

nanaellen 2012-03-20 23:53:24 -0500 Report

Hi hun, I am not so stressed out anymore thanks to all of the support I've gotten here!! I thought about counseling but I have privacy issues with them. :/ What I'm afraid of is the cancer itself because I don't understand where it's coming from!! I don't go in the sun at all because of other meds I'm on and I burn very easily! This will be the 3rd time on my face and I still have to go back for more tests. Are they gonna take ALL the moles off to test??? And everything I've read on skin cancer says it's directly related to the sun!! Just doesn't make sense to me!! Thanks for the prayers and hugs I really appreciate all my friends here! Your friend, Ellen :)

cindygal1 2012-04-03 12:20:03 -0500 Report

You are in my Prays, and I am hoping that you can overcome the cancer. No one needs it, my sister has been fighting cancer for 20 Years now and it is finally in her bone, so she doesn't have, much longer. I Pray for her also. Just keep a positive lookout and you will do fine, everyone on here is here for friendship and advice and help. Just keep all of that in mine, an you learn a lot about your disease. cindygal1

Caroltoo 2012-03-21 00:32:55 -0500 Report

We grew up in a time when the sun kissed our faces all summer without the benefit of protection. I've read that even one second degree burn can set you up to start the process of developing cancer cells. No, they don't test all the moles. Usually only the ones that are not symmetrical, black, or oddly colored. Why don't you have your dermatologist check you over thoroughly and be sure other spots are ok?

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2012-03-19 21:54:33 -0500 Report

Hi nanallen,

It has been a long time since we have been in touch. It sounds like you are facing a lot of challenges right now. I am so sorry to hear that you are facing so much. I just want to join in with your other friends and let you know that you are in my thoughts. You are a beautiful person! And you have a lot of friends who care about you. Please keep us posted!


troublemaker27 2012-03-23 15:13:11 -0500 Report

hey dr. gary how are you?
i'm ok just got through eating lunch i had noodle soup and beef jerky.
and a cup of coffee.
well what have you been up to these days?
i been taking care of myself.
but i got a lot on my mind.
well the weather is sunny here in sacramento,ca today.
see you bye

nanaellen 2012-03-20 00:49:16 -0500 Report

Thanks Dr. Gary!! And thanks to all of YOU I feel much more able to take this all head on!! You know the old saying "whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger"??? By the end of this I should be strong as an Ox!!! LOL Ellen :)

Teresa Rose
Teresa Rose 2012-03-19 06:32:16 -0500 Report

I'm so sorry for the things you are going through. I wish that there was something I could do to make it all healed for you. No one deserves to go through cancer of any type. A close friend of mine was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. They recently found a nodule in the lower lobe of my right lung. I am praying I don't have lung cancer. I go back to my doctor for more test on April 5th. I can understand how scared you must be, especially that the cancer is on your face of all places for it to be. I'm praying that no other tissue will have to be taken from your face and that you will overcome this cancer. Ellen, I wish you the best!!! - Teresa Rose

nanaellen 2012-03-20 00:43:43 -0500 Report

Thanks Teresa Rose!! Sorry to hear about You though!!! I'll be praying yours is NOT cancer at all!! My husband got lung cancer about 4 yrs. ago now…they took out his whole right lung…the Dr. told him he was cancer free as long as he quit smoking…he didn't…got cancer again right in the middle where the esophagus and lung connect…they did Kemo and radiation and again told him he was cancer free so long as he quit smoking…he's smoking more than ever…I think he has a death wish or something but we're separated and have been for about 7 yrs. As far as me…they cut a piece about the size of a silver dollar out of the middle of my forehead and they still have to "freeze" the area around THAT. I just hope they get it ALL and that none of my OTHER moles have to be cut off!! The older I get the more moles I get…guess I get that from Dad's side of the family (Portuguese) I do feel much better today though thank you for thinking about me!! Thanks to ALL my friends here I feel more able to deal with this head on!! Ellen :)

jayabee52 2012-03-20 02:58:51 -0500 Report

moles are not necessarily a Portugese trait "Jem" was full blooded Portugese and from what I recall she was not troubled with moles or cancer. Nor was her elder brother.

nzingha 2012-03-19 04:30:34 -0500 Report

ooohh nooo…so sorry to hear u r going thru all of this… dont worry about the look, just think of getting better or at least not suffering pain.. i cant deal with pain…anything else but.. i keep telling my docs if they see a sitauation comes up where there is no hope..dont have me wasting money in hospitals.. i shall put together my bucket list.. actually i should be putting it together now.. and then off i go… top of my list is a cruise which i have been promising myself for the longest while.. and oh.. i have not been on one continent.. australia…so that would be next..skiing and those sorts of things… not yet either as long as i am in no pain.. i'll be off doing them.. think on positive things.. and oh in the process take loads of photos to leave for ur family. pls smile at what i have just said to u…:)

nanaellen 2012-03-20 00:30:30 -0500 Report

Thank you and YES you made me SMILE a BIG SMILE!! lol I've had scars on my face since I was 21 years old…went through the windshield of my car…143 stitches in my face along with 2 skin grafts…scars don't bother me at all…just hoping they get ALL the cancer!! I have SO many moles it makes me nervous! A Cruise huh…??? That sounds wonderful…never been on a cruise myself…Australia??? That's where my friend Narelle is from…she goes by Rellypoo on here! I did go out today and enjoyed the warm weather for a change…it was 70 degrees today! Thanks to all my friends here I'm not SO discouraged anymore! And again Thanks for making me smile!! Ellen :)

Harlen 2012-03-18 20:58:48 -0500 Report

Your getting all worked up over it .
I am so sorry your going thrue this .
life is hard on us and the more we stress out the harder it is for us to keep the BS inline .
You can never be ugly ,you shine that why I think so much of you .
Talk to your doc you may need a pump like id did to help get things going for you
Hugs and best wishes

nanaellen 2012-03-18 21:50:45 -0500 Report

Thanks Harlen that's very sweet of you to say! I do feel better today, I just needed to get it out I guess. My Dr. says I have to get my #'s under control before I can think about getting the pump. Still trying…haven't given up it's just a glitch in the middle of my life! Even my #'s have been a LITTLE better today!! Hey, by the way, how's the no smoking going for you?? And I'll take all the hugs you want to give! LOL Ellen :)

Harlen 2012-03-18 23:03:54 -0500 Report

Tell yoour Doc that it may help to have the pump lol
I am glad your feeling a little better today
Still not smoking lol
Just know that you are wonderfull woman
Best wishes

nanaellen 2012-03-20 00:20:45 -0500 Report

I've given up trying to talk to my Primary cause he doesn't really HEAR me…but I'm hoping to get an appt. with an Endo FINALLY sometime in June!! They're introducing a new Dr. to our local hospital and She is a Endo Specialist!! Hey, Congrats on the no smoking that's fantastic!!! Once I get everything ELSE under control I'm gonna give it another try myself! Just not yet..:/ But I'll get there!! Hugs…BIG hugs right back at ya!! Ellen :)

Harlen 2012-03-20 19:24:15 -0500 Report

I am glad your getting anew Doc some times thats what it takes
You will only quit when you wish too .
I will be there for you even if you dont
Hugs and best wishes

KarynCandy29 2012-03-18 14:24:34 -0500 Report

I have read all the replies and don't want to say all the group said again..but please know this goes for me as well..and I want to say you are not ugly if your photo is up to date, you look very nice..I know a lot of people who have had/has skin cancer and have not died from it.Just do your best and fellow what the doctors tell you,,keep strong…I know you said you are frustrated and have a lot going on right now right now…When I feel this way I make a list of everything that is giving me worry..and I work on them one at a time,trying working out the easy worries first and so and so on..I helps me a lot I hope it can you..The things I can't work out I put in God's hands …
Remember your NOT alone..something talking about things helps us feel better even if we can't solve a problem..prayers going up for you~ Take care!

meloveu 2012-03-18 13:55:58 -0500 Report

come on you don't have to be discourage …some people got worst than yours I understand your feelings but I need you to be strong anyway do you go to church ? are you a christian ? do you believe in God ? I would love to be your friend so I can tell you some stories that happened to people then you will see that you don't need to give up now you add me as your friend

nanaellen 2012-03-18 21:43:33 -0500 Report

Oh believe me, I REALLY know that others have it worse than me…MUCH worse! I really just needed to get it out! Yes, I am a christian, No I do not go to church. Yes, I very firmly believe in God! I would not be here if it were not for Him!! I've not been on here for a little bit so I'm not sure how to "friend" you since they changed it, But I'll take all the friends I can get! :) Ellen

Set apart
Set apart 2012-03-18 11:39:06 -0500 Report

Ellen, first of all I want to say that my heart goes out to you through all that you're going through. Everyone knows that not to be stressed in your situation is a lot easier said than done! Stress is a key factor in every day life, sometimes we have to experience it to get to the end of the road, for example it's like driving home from work and you get nothing but red lights, yet at the end you make it home. For people with D stress definitely affects our BGs. I deal with stress by writing to do lists in regards to what will make me feel better, these may inlude, exercise, eat healthy, plan meals, pray, etc… In order for me to function I have to take care of these things. I eat very low carb and food is no longer an indulgence for me it is now a way to survive. Good luck my friend, Louise

nanaellen 2012-03-18 21:38:27 -0500 Report

Thanks for all your support, I do feel much better today. :)

Set apart
Set apart 2012-03-19 07:02:18 -0500 Report

Ellen, just know you are so special, we are with you!

Set apart
Set apart 2012-03-19 07:12:57 -0500 Report

oh and Ellen, about the tears they are a part of who I am now. I still cry in the shower sometimes, and there are days if my socks don't match, that may even make me cry! So hey crying, it's all GOOD! That's why we we have tear ducts, gotta use them sometime! LOL! :-)

cindygal1 2012-03-18 11:17:03 -0500 Report

The more upset that you stay does affect your sugar levels, you need to calm down and take one thing at a time. Emotions play a great part in getting your sugar under control along with your diet and exercise that you get. You can't do everything at one time believe everyone of us has been there.

Denisency213 2012-03-18 08:56:05 -0500 Report

My heart goes out to you, you are dealing with so much I do know that when under stress or dealing with any physical thing like illness your bs go crazy just keep doing what your doing and sugar will stabilize .

Ladydeez 2012-03-18 01:43:57 -0500 Report

I am new to this site and so far am VERY encouraged. I am frustrated about not being able to take off some pounds. I bycycle, exercise, and walk on the eliptical. Watch everything I eat…nothing happening! I take 18 units of insulin at bedtime only and tale 1000 mg of Metformin and Glypizide twice a day, 40mg of Lipitor once a day.l I don't know if this is a side effect of the medications…doctor would like to see a few pounds come off but this is like a no win situatio0n and VERY discouraging..any suggestions?

nanaellen 2012-03-18 21:35:04 -0500 Report

The best suggestion I can give you is to stay on THIS site! My friends here all keep me in check! lol I've learned more here than ANYWHERE else…even classes!! As far as the weight thing I'm at a loss myself! I have the same problem as you…too many of the meds PREVENT us from losing the weight!! I take 46 units of Lantus @ bedtime but have been between 1-4 shots of novolog during the day. :( I HATE needles!

BobbieNJ1000 2012-03-17 22:32:30 -0500 Report

So sorry, Ellen. It's so hard to have all these things coming at you at once. And of course it's true that it's much harder to get those BGs down when you're stressed. I will pray for you, wishing you the same things I wish for myself so often since I've had D: wisdom, courage and strength.

You can't control everything - don't we all know that! But you might be able to find a little peace in the midst of all this. Sit down for 10 or 15 minutes, and just let yourself breathe. Count your breaths from 1 to 10 and start over at 1 again. Let yourself notice the emotions you feel - even if those emotions are sadness, grief, pain, fear. Let yourself weep if tears come. And remember that although you have these feelings now, they will pass. Sometimes we're angry, and then we aren't. We are heartbroken, and then that feeling goes away for a while. Everything is changing all the time, and that means things can get better, and you can feel better.

Nothing has helped me deal with the ups and downs of life - and of diabetes - as effectively as meditation. If you are interested, you can check out a great little book and CD combo from Sharon Salzberg called Real Happiness. http://www.sharonsalzberg.com/realhappiness

And finally, I agree that you must define beauty more broadly. I am reminded of a slightly younger, beautiful friend of mine who wondered why anyone would think a mean person is hot, when he's of the strong opinion that it's kind people who are hot! Made my day!

Blessings and peace to you! xo

nanaellen 2012-03-18 00:38:18 -0500 Report

Actually I've contemplated meditation a few times but these days I don't get much alone time…but I do make time for a ride around the Ocean Drive which is about 12.9 miles long…and lately it HAS been my "saving grace"! And I absolutely HATE to cry…makes me feel weak and I need to be strong! Your friend sounds like a GREAT person…how lucky you are!! I'll try to fit in some me time and Thanks for everything!

BobbieNJ1000 2012-03-18 07:38:36 -0500 Report

My friend certainly is a great person. And you are doing a great job finding ways to take care of yourself! I don't think of tears as weak anymore - just a cleansing expression of sadness for me. If I let myself feel the sadness and shed a few tears now and then, I am able to acknowledge my loss, dry my eyes and move on. It's almost as though once the sadness has been acknowledged it can stop demanding attention…hmmm…it sounds like an unruly child!

Caroltoo 2012-03-18 22:02:26 -0500 Report

It's also because of the chemical composition of tears … it is a real cleansing from a physical as well as emotional perspective.

nanaellen 2012-03-18 21:58:02 -0500 Report

Thanks for the LOL!!! I never thought of tears that way!! :) We know all too well about that unruly child!! HA!HA!HA! :) Thanks again I really needed that!! LOL I do feel MUCH better today…even my #'s are a LITTLE better…only 162 this a.m. !

wbodean 2012-03-17 21:50:41 -0500 Report

Will be praying for you. New diabetic myself. A bit over whelmed myself.

nanaellen 2012-03-18 00:27:28 -0500 Report

Thanks I know all too well how this is overwhelming! I've had Diabetes now for 6+ years and I'm STILL overwhelmed!!! I have to tell you though that THIS site is the BEST place to be especially if your a "newbie"!! I've learned more HERE than ANYWHERE else even classes!! If I can help all you have to do is ask!! There are many great people here that would be glad to answer any questions! I'll return the favor and pray for you too!! Ellen

jigsaw 2012-03-17 21:04:55 -0500 Report

I am praying for you ! I hope it's possible for you to stay strong.

nanaellen 2012-03-18 00:40:53 -0500 Report

I'm still trying…trying…trying! Hey that looks like a great catch there… what kind of fish is it? :)

jigsaw 2012-03-18 07:58:05 -0500 Report

That's a Cobia, very tasty fish. Makes for nice juicy steaks with a tasty liite white meat! Not an easy fish to catch, I got lucky !

nanaellen 2012-03-18 22:02:32 -0500 Report

I've never heard of a Cobia but it sounds yummy!! We usually get Bass or sometimes Tuna if we're lucky! My personal best was a 4 1/2 foot sandshark!! P.S. Can you tell I feel MUCH better??!! lol Thanks for all the support!

Caroltoo 2012-03-18 22:09:18 -0500 Report

Yes, you are sounding like you feel much better. I liked the comment about tears being cleansing and they are physically as well as emotionally.

Personally, I find a good hard laugh works even better for me. I was feeling so low - really emotionally battered - on Thursday, so distraught I couldn't think straight, when a friend called me, then called again, then called again … cause he kept forgetting something he wanted share with me.

The whole thing was so absurd, I started laughing hard. It was in place of the tears, but it did the trick. I chuckled off and on all evening, then set out Friday to resolve the issue. It's still in process, but I have hope again.

veggieD 2012-03-17 16:40:55 -0500 Report

relax! the more upset you are, the higher the blood sugar levels are! Emotion and Stress plays a huge role in whether or not the bs levels are ok or elevated! this is a rich man's disease because one cannot be too happy, sad, angry, frustrated, nervous, etc . even extreme exhilaration raises bs level! Then eat like a rabbit, green beans with nothing on them, frozen or fresh. not cannned anything. nothing out of a box, can, bag, etc. fresh or frozen raw foods. nothing processed. and water, water , water. herbal tea. that's it! olive oil or flax oil only. eat plain salad, raw veggies, no meat, dairy. fresh fruit once in awhile. low glycemic index are apples. no bananas or anything high in sugar.

i get discouraged too, that I am still at the weight I gained since my two illnesses last aug and sept. I went on lantus in Sept and gained 15 pounds. can't get it off. I exercise and eat right. I am off lantus and on pump again. I am almost 50 and it seems I've aged 10 years in 6 months. not fair!

nanaellen 2012-03-18 00:14:29 -0500 Report

I don't think it's my diet that's causing my problem…I eat pretty healthy when I can AFFORD to! I've been a cook for 25+ yrs. I usually only eat fresh veggies and lots of salads. …don't like "processed" foods either and their bad for my blood pressure…CAN'T relax…I'm on Lantus also…have been for 6+ yrs now…and sorry to be the one to tell you this but THERE IS NOTHING FAIR ABOUT THIS DEMON!!!!

MAYS 2012-03-17 13:40:25 -0500 Report

Let your fear become your strength!
When this is all over with, and you realise how strong you really are, why not start a discussion to help others who may be experiencing fear of some sort?

We fear, or develope fear of what we do not understand.
That fear weakens us for the moment because we put so much energy into our fear, we feed it thereby nourishing it allowing it to grow bigger and bigger!
Let's start by starving it, starving it into oblivion, knowledge of whatever it is that is troubling you, faith in yourself and the belief that everything will be alright will do just that!

This link, as well as a conversation with your doctor should help strengthen you,
if you feel the need to pray, do so, remember we are all always here for you!



nanaellen 2012-03-18 00:17:18 -0500 Report

I'm gonna check out this link soon as I'm done here! Thanks ~Mays~ And when I'm in a better frame of mind I definitely can tell you some stories about FEAR!! thanks again!

nanaellen 2012-03-18 00:04:13 -0500 Report

Thanks again I'm gonna go to your link right now! And when I'm in a better frame of mind I can definitely help someone with their fears!! Got lots of stories! Thanks for being you!

MAYS 2012-03-17 13:24:59 -0500 Report


Always remember this, no matter what happens, "You" are a very beautiful person!
And in saying so, I would like to leave you with this very special quote;

"The most beautiful people are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

"But pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world." - C.S. Lewis

As with a rough diamond "You" are just being polished for your beauty to shine and to be admired by all, so keep smiling and being as beautiful as you are no matter what!


Type1Lou 2012-03-17 11:51:24 -0500 Report

Dear Ellen, The stress you're under alone will make your blood sugars go up…and you have more beauty inside than anyone could have outside! You're doing what you need to do to get the skin cancers removed…breathe deep and try to take one day at a time. (I had a melanoma removed from my arm last July and will be having an abnormal mole removed next month.) We're rooting for you and love you!

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