OT:: Snotty Replies

By kaiya2465 Latest Reply 2012-03-09 10:22:36 -0600
Started 2012-03-04 08:34:50 -0600

We are here to help one another "not" to make others feel belittled. We all need to have some empathy for others or keep our fingers off the keys & replies to ourselves.
Ask the question before we reply, Is this poster sad, depressed, happy,or whatever. Then if we have something to contribute do it with respect & dignity.

Thank you

35 replies

bar59567 2012-03-08 16:09:48 -0600 Report

I feel the same way. I asked a question and I got a very snotty remark. So I come on but keep to myself.

kaiya2465 2012-03-04 19:57:18 -0600 Report

Another thing I forgot to put into my post is that, "No one person" is better than another. We all come from different walks of life. Don't get me started on "well I have this degree, that degree, did this, done that" Who cares what background each of us come from we are all dealing with certain "Diabetic Issues" Is that not what we are here for to learn & maybe teach? Also to grow caring cyber friends?
Sorry just very irritated.

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2012-03-05 19:07:16 -0600 Report

What do you mean? You know that I am better than almost everyone you know. Of course, with some of the people you know, that isn't saying much!
Seriously, the crap postings have to be stopped. here is how:
1) Do not acknowledge it at all. No, "you moran" nothing. Feedback of any kind just feeds the fire.
2) report them
3) contact some of your friends and see if they are willing to report the person also. Give them the name and the discussion topic.
4) email the person being attacked and apologize for the attack and offer support.
5) Don't leave DC because of the attacks. If you do, they win.

GabbyPA 2012-03-07 18:09:55 -0600 Report

The best way to deal with a bully is to walk away...thanks Jim

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2012-03-07 18:18:46 -0600 Report

In WV we usually just shoot them, then walk away. Oh wait, I am suppose to be nice. Strike that last comment! :)

jayabee52 2012-03-08 01:23:45 -0600 Report

out here in NV we just drop 'em in one of the many mineshafts in the desert outside of Las Vegas! LoL!

Caroltoo 2012-03-04 18:49:08 -0600 Report

Compassion is as important, as is understanding of a poster's motivation and the emotions they are sharing with us. We may not always know these, but we can listen for them.

No matter how helpful our thoughts could be, they will never be helpful, if we can't say them in a manner that the reader can actually hear. Offensive, judgemental postings create defensiveness, hurt, and anger. This is not helpful, it does not encourage healing.

More than anything else, before we post, we need to ask ourselves if what we are sharing will be helpful/healing for the person whose post we are responding to. If not, why are we posting?

flipmom 2012-03-04 13:27:40 -0600 Report

dont forget about thoughtless jokesters! i know its great for people with sense of humor and make people laugh… but please dont do it at the expense of others.. your joke is only a joke to others and hurtful to the one you are making fun of!! some people here needs to grow up!

granniesophie 2012-03-04 11:24:31 -0600 Report

I agree. There are better ways of saying things then having them coming out in a harsh way. There is no need to sugar coat, however, there is a need to present your point of view in a softer, less abrasive way.
Not everyone responds to things in the same way, however, they will still get the point you wish to make even if it is presented in a calmer and less tough manner. As we are all different as diabetics, and our bodies respond to things differently, so are our minds and feelings all different, and we respond to things differently. We must not lose sight of the fact that we are all individuals here and respect each other for it.

kaiya2465 2012-03-04 09:57:38 -0600 Report

I understand your point also Jeanae & Gabby. But there are some of us out there that handle the abuse we went through differently, & sometimes it is better to be gentle. Not saying "sugar coat" it but you can be blunt & gentle if we use are brains…

GabbyPA 2012-03-04 10:01:51 -0600 Report

Yes, we have to use our minds and our hearts. That is what tempers the comments. I am generally a peace maker. But there do come times when you have to kick a little booty. I agree though, the written word without the temperance of voice or body language is very touchy and often misunderstood.

Jeanae 2012-03-04 09:26:20 -0600 Report

Nicely put. My Mom was a tough no-nonsense kind of person and she believed in not sugar coating anything. She believed what didn't kiull you made you stronger. She was tough and grough but what she said, when she said it while it came across as mean she was actually trying to help. In her mind telling someone to get over it and grow up was the best advice she thought. I think the poster is aso a string lady that has overcome a lot in life and sees strength and perceverance as the best advice. So while it came across maybe as too blunt, I HOPE she was coming from a good place. But to the one who needed the encouragement and support it came across as negative. I always try to remember in written words, the reader can not hear my voice. She can not hear the intonations and emphasis I give to certain words or the tone. That can change everything. So when I read a negative post, I instead look at what is good behind it and what can be gleaned… grains of wisdom , etc. Yes, I do see the world through rose colored glasses but it makes me happier that way.

GabbyPA 2012-03-04 09:52:59 -0600 Report

I like your mom. Good for her. I know that when I work with men, it is the same way. No bad feelings, just move on. We women tend to bend and twist stuff to a place it has no business going. It is our nature. I learned to really appreciate the bluntness of my male co-workers. I try to keep a balance but some days, your mom is just right!

Even when people say "bad" things about us, there is usually a grain of truth in there. If we look, we can find a way to improve ourselves. It might hurt and even make us cry, but if we look, we can find. And if we find that they are just wrong, then their words have no power over us.

GabbyPA 2012-03-04 09:19:00 -0600 Report

My goal, is if I would not say it face to face, I should not say it here. Thank you for bringing this to everyone's attention.

jayabee52 2012-03-04 08:46:06 -0600 Report

Thanks Kaiya for your posting. I do sometimes say something a bit snotty to friends who, from my experience, can both dish it out and take it. (example: Jim Edwards) I don't however do that with new folks and folks who are known by me to have "thin skin".

Thank you Kaiya, for your posting. It is a wake up call to us all.

James Baker

TsalagiLenape 2012-03-04 08:37:40 -0600 Report

I totally agree. If you have a point state it but with compassion, respect and love. Not to make another feel ATTACKED to the point of that person originally putting up that post. If you aint got nothing nice to say dont say nothing at all. Hugs

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