By flipmom Latest Reply 2012-03-06 20:50:07 -0600
Started 2012-03-01 00:49:50 -0600

This is just a rant about us following members… It feels like stalking to me. This is a support group people, not twitter! Anyone who wants to follow me is welcome to be my friend . just saying…

100 replies

Somoca 2012-03-05 13:25:57 -0600 Report

I googled and the first line was "Somoca was Bad Today" well dern. LOL. This is why I use the online name SOMOCA and not my real one. and my privacy settings doesn't allow even "friends" ( and I use that term lightly) to see things. I have been stalked TWICE and it isn't cute people. Not here but in two other supposedly harmless sites concerned about my health HAH! and I have had my personal business splattered when I didn't give my permission, on here. So I stay covert. I try to remember that anything I type is like putting it on a postcard and handing it to the mailman who stops and visits other neighbors before he actually gets it to the hub.

TsalagiLenape 2012-03-05 08:59:33 -0600 Report

ROTFLMAO OK you wanna a friend or follower or what? LOL J/k Hugs

flipmom 2012-03-05 09:32:30 -0600 Report

HI! Friends sound sweeter but I do have an open mind and rethunk about this matter.I'm following several people like jan and john crowley which in turn never followed me back so we are not friends at the moment. This did not hurt my feelings whatsoever because They are the people thats interesting to me and I want to be there when they have something to say and glad for that apportunity…

pixsidust 2012-03-04 19:05:18 -0600 Report

I am not happy with following. To my personal email I received an Email from DC that gave a sample of what they were thinking theres still following but they would also send out a friend request. Convoluted!

They need to get rid of following altogether. I gave feedback as such.
I send out my own message to be friends along with the following thing but now they want to do that too…for me.

We need to be heard to tell them to"DROP FOLLOWING ALTOGETHER"
Everyone please send an Email to John Crowley here and tell him that.

I thought they were getting it but after seeing that email. I know they
are not.

LizSpring113 2012-03-05 10:02:41 -0600 Report

Actually, i saw the new idea too and i really didnt have a problem with it. John us trying to satisfy those who liked the new terms and thought that they were cool. As well as our concerns. The first option is for those who want to pre friend for a while. The 2nd option is like we did in the past. Just ask them to be friendsand talk to each other via Inbox. John is caught between a rock and a hard place. He is trying to take care of the stalker issue while also listening to those who want to be cautious and prefriend for awhile before jumping into friendship. It is a new con ept for me and i dont reeally see the need for it. However, many people didn't see what the ig deal was about on the terms follow and followers..

flipmom 2012-03-05 09:10:00 -0600 Report

i know they mean well… we just need to give them time… we all just need to voice our opinion.

flipmom 2012-03-04 13:01:15 -0600 Report

ok folks, I'm over it! LOL! This is after all the internet. I will share whatever feels comfortable to the public.. simple as that! The important thing is my comfort zone . This site has helped me a lot and I'm not gonna leave just because I dont want to share with everyone! I'm not going to post anything that I'm not comfortable sharing from now on… Like my name for example, I shared them with friends and and find that its being mentioned to the public… no biggie though, just an example…

red flower lady
red flower lady 2012-03-04 15:55:43 -0600 Report

I agree. I din't say my name and another member here used it in public. I wish I knew how she got it. Then several others replied to my post by name I'm guessing from her post. We should ask before using it if it is not what our post list.

dietcherry 2012-03-04 16:18:23 -0600 Report

Its under your About Me tab; it automatically carries over from when you joined DC and gave your first and last names.

jayabee52 2012-03-04 17:11:43 -0600 Report

it also appears when you search for a particular person's screen name. When the search engine finds that person, if they have it somewhere in the profile, the real name comes up.

red flower lady
red flower lady 2012-03-04 17:21:04 -0600 Report

I read that everything we write here will be able to be seen on other sites, so not to use your name. Makes sense, so that work, school, etc can't use it against you.

cavie2 2012-03-05 09:31:00 -0600 Report

Gosh I'm shocked it has entries of my replies on some of the sites that I am a member on and 2 of them have mentioned Gabby and I. These 2 are in either Italian or Spanish but our user names are in English one is dated 15th Feb

Caroltoo 2012-03-04 19:29:07 -0600 Report

Put in your name, diabetic connect. It will pull up references to many, if not all, of the posts you do here online.

red flower lady
red flower lady 2012-03-05 09:58:51 -0600 Report

Thank you for the info. Did it and found my posts, which is what I expected:) And yes, you are right about watching what we post as the whole world can read it:)

dietcherry 2012-03-05 22:32:21 -0600 Report

James (jayabee52) has been warning members about this for ages! He has mentioned it several times and I never really paid attention until about 6 months ago; boy was I shocked! Especially since there is someone else using dietcherry that I dont want to be confused with!

Young1s 2012-03-04 19:51:05 -0600 Report

Been aware of this since I first Googled information about Metformin. That's what brought me here. This is why it's so important not to put personal email, telephone #'s, addresses, etc… in discussions. There's just no way for the site techs to secure them. Nor would they want to, block the discussions from public view I mean. To do so would mean not reaching potential members. Many of US would not have come across this site otherwise.

jayabee52 2012-03-04 18:26:54 -0600 Report

I looked for you, red flower lady, just now and got 26,900,000 results. you might not find it on the first couple pages, but I strongly suspect SOMEWHERE in those 26,900,000 results you'll find yourself.

EDIT: I decided to look another way on google and put your name together with diabeticconnect and came up with these results. Look here ~ https://www.google.com/search?q=red+flower+la...=

red flower lady
red flower lady 2012-03-05 09:57:24 -0600 Report

Thanks, I went there and did what Carol said as well, it just pulls up things I posted. This I knew about and thought there could be other info listed and I was curious:)

Thanks for taking the time to do this.

jayabee52 2012-03-04 17:28:52 -0600 Report

How many James' are there on the internet, and even on DC? I see your point if both first and last names (even first, middle and last names). I really don't use folks' last names (unless both names are there in their screen name).

But I am now sensitized to the need to get folks' permission to post even their first names.

GabbyPA 2012-03-04 17:14:11 -0600 Report

Did you find that to be typical or just on a profile where someone didn't change their privacy settings?

cavie2 2012-03-05 09:33:51 -0600 Report

I have just very recently changed my privacy setting to friends only and private do you think that will stop any more info leaking out.

Young1s 2012-03-04 17:32:48 -0600 Report

I assume it's only there because the person hasn't changed their settings or just doesn't mind sharing their name with the public. But it's not always there for everyone.

On a side note: It would help if the "How To" videos, for using the site more effectively, were listed separately on the first page of the Video section. It would make learning the ins and outs of navigating the site easier, especially for the newcomers. Learning as you go isn't appealing to all people.

LizSpring113 2012-03-05 09:48:07 -0600 Report

Just post any question yiu have on how to do things on your profile. Usually someone will see it and will help you.

Young1s 2012-03-04 21:03:15 -0600 Report

I let them know it can be like that for some people in the Feedback section. Maybe if more people do the same they won't think it's just one person's opinion.

jayabee52 2012-03-04 17:37:41 -0600 Report

Perhaps Young1, you might want to go to the bottom of this page click on "Feedback" and share this great insight with the Admins.

GabbyPA 2012-03-04 17:17:23 -0600 Report

If you would check that out for me and let me know it would help. My settings are universal, so I can get most anywhere, so I need to know if that is not working properly.

jayabee52 2012-03-04 16:01:27 -0600 Report

unfortunately I do that, trying to build rapport. Sorry if I stepped on your toes. In the future I guess I'll have to ask if I may use someone's name before I use it.

flipmom 2012-03-04 16:14:01 -0600 Report

it was my mistake, but no biggie , if it was i would have messaged you about it… but yes, the name is intented for messaging or private communications only…=)

cavie2 2012-03-04 16:26:12 -0600 Report

I also do that a lot with my friends when responding to their replies in conversations and never give a thought to it nor have I asked their permission first. Until now it has never dawned on me that they may not like it as no-one has picked me up on this before. People do it with me also and I don't mind them using my name rather than cavie2. But it is something maybe I should stop doing. This has given me food for thought.

dietcherry 2012-03-04 16:32:47 -0600 Report

Me too. I think its adding the personal touch; it never occurred to me that I may be over-stepping a boundary :(

flipmom 2012-03-04 16:32:25 -0600 Report

you can set it so that you can share it with friends only or public. mine is for friends only… but really, who would be able to guess that?

Young1s 2012-03-04 13:28:24 -0600 Report

I here you on that one. I try to make it a practice to only address someone by their real name only if they have done so first in a post. Otherwise I only use their profile name. But I may have slipped and done it in the past and for that I do apologize to all that applies to.

flipmom 2012-03-04 13:32:16 -0600 Report

a friend would not know if its being shared to the public also.. so its my fault.. no biggie, just an example that if i did not want to share it, then i should not have posted it!! have a great day today!

kaiya2465 2012-03-01 10:33:54 -0600 Report

I agree with you flipmom…That is why I am not sure about staying even if I like the site.

Best wishes.

cavie2 2012-03-04 16:32:28 -0600 Report

your privacy and setting changed to "friends only" or "private" for your personal details can stop anyone from seeing it if they check out your profile. If you have them set to "friends only" then only they will see that information. I closed mine off recently with this following thingy. When you feel uneasy about it and feel it is like having a stalker you take care of yourself first. What makes you comfortable on these sites is the only thing that matters and if others don't like it, tough!!

flipmom 2012-03-01 15:50:50 -0600 Report

you have an option of putting your profile on private… So even you have no friends or people following you.. you can really benefit with this site! I wish you well my friend.

kaiya2465 2012-03-01 16:01:37 -0600 Report

I happen to like the friends I have on here..that's not the point. I honestly don't see how this change will give us more privacy. To me it seems like we will have less.

GabbyPA 2012-03-02 10:14:53 -0600 Report

If someone is following you, it is still just in the public realm. There is nothing private shared except the fact that they are interested in what you have to say. It allows them to have your posts show up in their profile feed. Nothing more. It doesn't allow them any contact with you unless you follow them back and thus become friends.

dietcherry 2012-03-02 14:12:04 -0600 Report

Gabby the new system in fact brought the option of now privately messaging members before you are Friends.

J Kate
J Kate 2012-03-06 17:32:09 -0600 Report

Members are allowed with the latest changes to message anyone. That will be reversed shortly.

Caroltoo 2012-03-06 19:54:44 -0600 Report

You ask the non-friend on their profile page. That way it is all public until they agree to be your friend and then you can p.m.

dietcherry 2012-03-03 11:52:32 -0600 Report

And we know you would NEVER use that option in an inappropriate way!! Women are so vulnerable to harrassment, we feel a layer of protection was taken away. But Carol says it doesnt actually work! lol

Caroltoo 2012-03-04 01:23:34 -0600 Report

When I tried, I could not pm anyone who was not my friend. If the rest of you can, then maybe my system has a glitch.

GabbyPA 2012-03-04 08:47:38 -0600 Report

That is the way it is supposed to be. Only friends can send private messages. At least that is how it was intended.

jayabee52 2012-03-01 10:39:41 -0600 Report

please do not leave over this issue Kaiya!

The changes John mentioned below are coming, and I believe they will be an improvement over the way things are now! I'd hate your voice to be silenced here, because you add so much to the discussions here!

kaiya2465 2012-03-01 10:46:55 -0600 Report

Thank you James, I have learned a lot on here & continue to learn from the more experienced. When I replied to that email, I was horrified that it went out to other people & not just the Alliance staff. I like the site very much but may have to leave if I continue to feel this way.

Hugs to you my friend.

jayabee52 2012-03-01 11:15:00 -0600 Report

(((((Hugs)))))) to you Kaiiya! I think I understand Kaiya, Kinda! But eventually your feelings of horror at replying to that email, thinking it was only sent to the admins, will recede into the background. I got a taste of what may be coming, and if it is like that I think it will be well accepted by everyone. It seems to allow us to determine whether we want to friend or follow someone.

red flower lady
red flower lady 2012-03-01 14:18:45 -0600 Report

You have the choice to friend or not friend someone. We don't have that option with the following tool. Please read my reply below to annalease. I too, got a taste.

kaiya2465 2012-03-01 11:21:23 -0600 Report

Actually I have chatted with others that dislike this whole idea of the so called "following"…Sorry I am losing trust in the connect sites. But Thank you for your input. Keep up being you.

Somoca 2012-03-05 13:36:52 -0600 Report

I don't mind the following. It's the comments that should be in emails and not out for the public to see that rub me the wrong way. If I tell you something by email, thats a subtle hint that I don't want it on the discussion board. Holy toledo, LOLOL. Its like telling everyone" Somoca has a hole in her pantie" after I told you in private about the hole. BTW, no I don't have a hole, LOLOL.

John Crowley
John Crowley 2012-03-01 10:17:08 -0600 Report

We're so appreciative of everyone's passionate ideas to improve the site. We are working hard to find a solution that helps everyone.

And one important aspect to realize is that to some the idea of "following" feels perhaps a little uncomfortable. But to another group the idea of being "friends" with complete strangers over the internet is equally uncomfortable.

We're working to find solutions that allows each individual member to interact in a way that meets their individual needs. We're getting close to a solution we feel pretty good about.

Thanks again for your input.

flipmom 2012-03-01 15:53:30 -0600 Report

thank you so much! its just my own opinion… i feel that even we are strangers to each other we have the same bond and help each other and that says a lot!

red flower lady
red flower lady 2012-03-01 14:17:59 -0600 Report

You have the choice to friend or not friend someone. We don't have that option with the following tool. Please read my reply below to annalease.