I can't seem to handle Diabetes emotionally how do i get through this

By lothos710 Latest Reply 2014-05-10 13:55:25 -0500
Started 2012-01-23 19:02:02 -0600

I was diagnosed with Diabetes on Feb 14 2005, i have tried everything the Dr's have asked me to do, I try to walk but it hurts, i try to eat what I've been taught to eat in the diabetic classes, i read till i can't read no more. I am on really high doses of Insulin and med's i can not seem to get a grip on the anger my kids suffer for this my wife suffers, and i am at my last end. on top of it all i have Bi-polar and sever anxiety and fear of people now things i never had before finding out i'm diabetic I was the healthy one in my family and now i'm the sickest I feel useless and i am slowly driving my family away from me, I don't know what else to do. My wife god bless her is still with me and loves me but i feel it getting distant.
My sugars stay between 200 and 5 sometimes 600 the closest endocrinologist is a 2 hour drive and i have no money half the time for med's let alone gas to go see him my Dr says i need a specialist, and is afraid to guide me with my diabetes i have disability but it does not go anywhere.
how do i handle this how do i cope what do i do, why am i losing this battle with this. i am lost and no longer see a road to follow.

56 replies

Audrey115 2012-04-25 20:31:40 -0500 Report

Try eating more raw foods. Fruits and veggies should be your best friends from now on. Anything processed is not good for anyone but especially a diabetic so stay away from those things. Also try chia seeds. Sprinkle a half tsp on every meal. These are a godsend! They are high in fiber, potassium, omega 3's and omega 6's, protein and lots more. Google them for complete list of nutrients and benefits. It especially helps regulate your blood sugar, colesteral and helps slow down absorbtion of carbs so your blood sugar stays on an even keel. Best thing I ever found since I was diagnosed in 2006. Any health food market or bulk food stores should carry them. Good luck!

Shawn Grant
Shawn Grant 2014-05-10 13:55:25 -0500 Report

What is considered healthy for a non-diabetic and a diabetic is a different ballgame. For a non-diabetic, which is healthier, a banana or a hotdog wienie? A banana of course is much healthier. It has tons of nutrients and it isn't processed gross parts smashed together with preservatives added.

For a diabetic it is a different story. We have a metabolic disorder where we can't process carbohydrates effectively. It takes very few carbs to make our blood sugar rise. If our blood sugar goes up above normal we run the risk of several complications that could threaten our life. A banana has 25 to 30 grams of carbs in it, which will raise most diabetics blood sugar to unacceptable levels. This could lead to life threatening complications for diabetics. Complications of diabetes happens much faster than developing cancer from eating too many hotdogs. A hotdog wiener has 0 grams of carbs which will not raise blood sugar much (protein can change to glucose but very small amounts and slow). It will not increase your chance of diabetes complications. A hotdog wiener is a smarter choice for a diabetic than any fruit. I am not advocating eating hotdog wieners. It is an example of what is healthy for the goose is not necessarily healthy for the gander. There are better things to eat than a hotdog but fruit is not one of them.

MoeGig 2012-03-10 19:12:36 -0600 Report

Hi Lothos. First of all, there's no emotion in diabetes, it's all physio(logical); and, there's no great science to getting your sugars in control…which you have to do..sooner rather than later before irreversible complications set in and really cause trouble. Just keep adding to your insulin dose and minimizing your carb intake until your tests get down to 80 to 180. It's really not that complicated. If your sugars are as high as you say, one of these two issues is making it that way. Worse case, go on Atkins for a while until you figure it out. Atkins will reduce the carbs, then you only have to worry about adjusting the insulin level. If you stick to Atkins during this adjustment period, then you only have to adjust the long acting insulin..whichever one you're taking. You have to become your own doctor and prescribe your own meds. No other disease that I can think of is more controllable by the patient whose quality of life is determined by his/her actions. Good luck. For additional info, check out my blog. http://typeonediabetic45.blogspot.com/

LTennion 2012-03-10 09:20:02 -0600 Report

Hello There Lothos710
I realize it's been awhile since you shared this post, and hopefully you have benefited from at least some of the responses. I felt compelled to respond as well, as I can SO relate to some of the feelings you have expressed. Although, I do not suffer from Bi-polar disorder, I do struggle with feelings of failure, guilt and being a burden. I think any chronic illness will eventually evoke the same reaction as anyone going through the "grieving"process. Once I came to the conclusion that my illness exposes me to the emotional ups & downs, I found it easier to deal & cope with it. Except the fact that you are going to have "good" days & "bad" days and that's "ok". You may fall off the wagon from time to time…that's "ok" too, just get back on! (You can't afford, not to!) I've often said that I thought the emotional aspect of any chronic illness is critical in the overall care of the individual. If you become angry or worse…depressed, it's highly likely that you will fail to etiquettly take care of yourself. That's usually when complications arise. It's a true statement; take control of your diabetes, or it will take control of you! You do have a choice…one way or the other. As far as feeling like a burden, (if you do) I do. I try to remind myself to take advantage of this opportunity to live by example. It not you fault that you have Diabetes. But instead, how are you going to deal with it? (the cards you've been dealt) I can promote a healthy lifestyle for my children, family, and friends. I have the ability to take a bad situation that often makes me feel like a burden to those around me, and turning that situation into something positive by making those closest to me and those observing…proud! Remember, your children are watching whether you realize it or not. I also understand the distance that subtly ocurrs. Keep the communication going…its important. You need the outlet for sure, but your wife and children need to be, or feel included, too. When you hear about someone being diagnosed with diabetes, (we all know someone) alot of times, the first reaction is; too bad, so sad, huh. Most people don't realize what that diagnosis entails, cause what usually doesn't dawn on people right away is that Diabetes has a trickle down effect..involving alot more than just the person who's afflicted with the actual disorder. Diabetes isn't totally bad though. It Forces you to live a healthy lifestyle, like it or not. Lastly, another reason I wanted to respond to this post was several things you mentioned which caught my attention. The fact that you have educated yourself, tried to eat healthy, and tried to walk without much relief or results makes me wonder. I agree with your doctor about seeing an Endocrinologist. I didn't see the significance in the beginning either, but as complicated as Diabetes is; it's critical. It may mean extra planning (time & expenses) but it will be worth it if you get control & feel better, huh! Dont waste anymore time struggling than you have to. Make it a priority…you are worth it! Anyway, I want to suggest that you have further testing. Ask your doctor about testing your Cortisol levels. As it turns out, I have a rare disorder called Cushing's Disease. Look it up online. Guess what, it mimics & causes Diabetes! I was diagnosed diabetic 4 yrs. ago and every symptom/complication that arose after that was simply attributed to Diabetes. Each time I visited my doctor, I was told over & over again to get my blood sugars in line, and I was made to feel as though I was being difficult & labeled"uncompliant" The truth was; I never had a chance dealing with high blood sugars in this condition. What a relief that was! I hope I haven't offended you by anything I've mentioned. I am not medically trained, but I would like to think that perhaps something I've said made sense to you and helped to form a positive attitude to get you where you need to be!

northerngal 2012-03-10 15:46:54 -0600 Report

One additional note. Since Diabetes is an endocrine disease, it is not uncommon for other endocrine problems to also be present. Take the advice to see an endocrinologist, because its their specialty to know how the various organs interact and how each affects the others. No primary care will be able to truly help you with the combination. Its like the "education" of a high school freshman versus that of a college graduate. More information and a better understanding of how it all functions together( or in our cases, don't function properly). Don't give up and good luck.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2012-03-10 08:42:37 -0600 Report

Hi lothos!

It's been awhile since we have been in touch. How are you doing? Looks like you are getting a lot of support from other members. Also wondered if you had checked in on Anxiety Connect and Bipolar Disorder Connect. You've been facing a lot of challenges. Can you give us an update on how things are going? You are on my mind!


Lakeland 2012-03-10 08:33:52 -0600 Report

this is what helped me. . my family has diabetes, & I seen the long term effects of it. however, I'd rather have diabetes than some of the other cancers & things, I feel like I can tell where I am when I want to know.

I walk, but I had hip surgery so it hurts too. there are certain machines that you can use your arms & things, picking up weights & things can help. when the pools get opened I'll do some of that too.

the easiest thing for me as far as eating goes— they told me to pick the carb. If I want the bread then no dessert, if I want dessert than skip bread & pasta. if I do want bread or pasta, choose the breads & pastas that are whole grain but the important part is the "fiber" if it has a high fiber over 4 then the body takes a longer time to turn it into sugar & you'll feel more full longer. I lost 40 pounds doing this. I keep lots of diet jello & puddings in the house, & drink lots of water only to keep yourself feeling full.

ask your doctor about your meds, some meds spike sugar.

it did help me alot my a1c was 10.3 & now it's 5.5

best wishes

robertoj 2012-02-23 02:01:20 -0600 Report

The emotional turmoil that you are going through contribute greatly to your high numbers. I also have pain when I walk. I find that I can walk pain free on grass or dirt. I don't know if it works for you.

northerngal 2012-03-10 15:48:55 -0600 Report

Bicycling is also great for exercise and is easy on the joints. You can go much further and enjoy as much as you chose. You might get hooked!

robertoj 2012-03-10 17:41:25 -0600 Report

I could ride my bike with ease when I could barely walk. It takes awhile to get used to because you use different muscles but once you get used to it it's awesome.

pop2 2012-03-14 11:09:55 -0500 Report

I do have some pain in my toe mostly a lot of burning and neuropathy in both feet I do believe
if I did not use the rebuilder as much as I do they be worse My feet feel so much better when
I use it. when I bought mine model 300 it was a little over$300 now its about $900 But I think
with out it I would be on that horrible medicine again.

pop2 2012-03-14 12:41:17 -0500 Report

Go to www.ReBuilder Products.com I found this by accident while searching
for neuropathy meds. this product popped up I clicked on it and started reading the reviews and gaveit a try about 4years ago. Plus it helps my arm and my wrist with the pain.

jayabee52 2012-03-14 12:56:16 -0500 Report

quite interesting. I saved the link for further study. According to the website, this may be used for (osteo) arthritis, and back pain.

pop2 2012-03-14 14:06:52 -0500 Report

Which I also have osteo arthritis my back and shoulders too but about 3weeks ago I had to purchase a new mattress which is wonderful with poor circulation any way I need every advandage I can get.

TsalagiLenape 2012-02-22 12:55:13 -0600 Report

Get a journal start writing everything down. Your frustrations and etc. Let it pour out of you. Keeping it in then exploding is not helping anyone. Then see about getting counselling. I know most people dont want too. But we all need it to help deal with this. I know for I do this myself. Its not easy but it will if you try those two things. I just know keeping it in then exploding isnt what you want. Then find a craft or hobby or exercise you can do like swimming. That would be your outlet for your anger for it will make you work harder. Once you are done you will feel relief. I hope this helps as it was meant too. Hugs

Jan8 2012-02-21 16:23:24 -0600 Report

Guess what lothos710 I have the same thing you have. We are having so much fun I can hardley stand it. I have lots of other diseases too and I finally got to the point where I just let go.Whateverhappens to me is only partially in my hands and some of it I have no power over. So, I smoke. Now I know it's stupid but I don't think it makes a difference in what happens to me and I just don't care. I would love to be able to feel close but hey it is what it is. Sure i get pissed but somehow I get past it by distracting myself with things i love. It's ambiguous isn't it? I am able to have love and compassion for people but i do not want to be close to them. Make sense? Somehow my sweet husband has stayed with me and my children come over and I am proud of them and who they are. As far as diabetic supplies and medication are available to you through some of the drug companies. Also each drug you take for bi-polar ,you may be able to get them free if you contact the drug companies.

ilovelife82 2012-01-29 22:36:34 -0600 Report

I'm deeply sorry that you're feeling the constant emotional pain and I understand your situation; I was diagnosed with Type II diabetes in 1995 (my mother was diagnosed 10 years earlier) and a few years afterward, hypertension came into the picture! I'm also living with bi-polar disorder and I'm only 29 years old—when I was diagnosed with diabetes, I felt completely devastated and hopeless. My guilt progressed to the point that I was putting my life in danger and as a result anger took control of my life; after having dangerously high and low blood sugar levels (to the point of going to the hospital) as well as having my gallbladder removed and suffering from sleep apnea, I finally realized that I needed to take control of my life before it was too late! Certain days, I will feel that deep emotional pain that's constantly conflicted with the passing of my mom but I know that life can have its ups and downs for a reason. Even though life may throw you many curveballs, you can always hit them into home runs; I may seem corny in regards to my approach but my mom once said that you should NEVER allow anyone (or in this case anything) to steal your joy away from you. I hope that you will find the strength, hope, will and courage to survive because there's so many friends here who will continue to give you that unconditional love/support that you deserve…I'm very happy that you're a part of the DC family!

maclover1524 2012-01-26 19:59:11 -0600 Report

Your post made me very angry. How dare doctors treat diabetes as if it were a cold or a scratch on the arm. Diabetes CAN BE CONTROLLED! You DO NOT NEED TO SUFFER FROM EMOTIONAL UPS AND DOWNS, YOU NEED NOT SUFFER FROM THE HORRIBLE EFFECTS OF DIABETES LIKE NEUROPATHY. UGH! Okay, I am simmering down and I apologize for the screaming. I feel so bad for you! Now let me see if I can help by sharing our story. You can also check us out at marythediabeteslady dot com and see our before and after photos. I am not selling anything but trying to help other diabetics.
My husband is a type 2 diabetic. He has had this since he was 41 years old and he is now 73 years old. He took his meds, went to the doctor faithfully, tried to lose some weight. About ten years after the diagnosis, he began suffering from painful neuropathy in both his feet. He was on neurotin for the pain for over 15 years. He could not walk over 75 feet without sitting down to rest. He was angry and irritable most of the time. I never knew how he was going to react to almost anything I said. He fell asleep at the wheel while driving and hit the concrete medium wall.

About 11 or 12 years ago , the doctor decided there was nothing more he could do for my husband and sent him to an endocrinologist and nutritionist. The endocrinologist put him on 5 or 10 units of insulin. The nutritionist explained how he needed to eat and put him on 13 carbohydrates a day. He worked as a computer programmer at the time and she knew that he had a sedentary job.

A year and a half later, my husband weight ballooned up to 280 pounds (he is 5' 9"), he had profuse night sweats due to hypoglycemia (he had to cover his pillow each night with a bath towel), his skin was so dry and his elbows could have been used for sandpaper (psoriasis) because they were scaly and extremely rough. He had no energy, and we had no life together.

About 9 and a half years ago, I read a book that changed our lives. Dr. Richard Bernstein's, "Diabetes Solution".

You need to take responsibility for your illness. You are not to blame but you need to take responsibility. It is not your doctors illness, nor your spouse nor your children, family, colleagues, etc. It is yours and only you can change it. When my husband decided that he would take responsibility for this disease, I knew we were on our way.
I continued to study and research - the past 9 plus years.

My husband lost 80 pounds within 9 months, he came off of insulin completely within 3 months and has never gone back in the past 9 years, he came off the neurontin and the neuropathy is all but gone - he says he gets a twinge now and then. Within a short time, he walked in 2 5K races and finished!! This is a man who could not walk 75 feet!!!!! Night sweats gone. Irritability and anger gone! Elbows are as soft as a baby's cheek. His energy levels are as high as they were when he was 35 years old! He doesn't sit down. He walks at our recreation center 3 times a week and goes about 2 miles each time. We watch 3 little grandchildren twice a week now but within the last 5 years we watched 2 of them nearly 9 hours a day four days a week.

In the last couple of months, he decided to lose more weight. He is now down to 183 pounds. When he loses 3 more pounds he will have lost a total of 100 pounds!!!

The best part of this is that I have my husband back!!!! He is once again the wonderful man I married and that change happened within 2 weeks of going on our program.

We teach classes to whomever will listen to us and we tell our story. We encourage people to read Dr. B's book along with Gary Taubes book, "Good Calories, Bad Calories" and his latest book, "Why We Get Fat and What To Do About It", Dr. Jonny Bowden's book, "Living The Low Carb Life", and so many more wonderful books. Look up Dr. Westman from Duke University.

We were asked to speak at The Ohio State University's School of Medicine and tell our story. We did this to open the lecture given by Mr. Gary Taubes. It was a thrill to meet him as well as to tell our story at this prestigious university.

A physician from the Cleveland Clinic heard our story and made arrangements for us to appear on the local TV news. When we talked to this doctor he looked at my husband and said do you know you would have been dead by now if it wasn't for Mary?

I can not believe the American Diabetes Association still promotes 60 to 65% carbs at every meal!!!! This is horrible. You have an issue with too much sugar in your blood - why would you put more in and say that's the way to handle this problem. Oh yes, then they tell you it's to cover the insulin you are taking! UGH.

Read the books I recommended, go to our site and see our before and after photos. You can beat diabetes like we did! May God bless you!

Jeanae 2012-02-22 09:55:52 -0600 Report

Wow, your story is certainly inspiring! I can not wait to read all the things you recommended. Thank you!

pixsidust 2012-01-27 13:48:02 -0600 Report

He is bipolar and I think thats where the up an downs mood wise comes from, not diabetes

maclover1524 2012-01-27 14:17:05 -0600 Report

I think you would be amazed to learn that the roller coaster blood sugars that are the results of uncontrolled blood sugars and too much insulin can mimic bi-polar. I am not saying that he is not bi-polar because I do not know the person. What I am saying is that it is so worth checking out whether it is the bi-polar that is causing the angry outburst and anxiety or is it, in fact, the diabetes. There is also a condition called, hypoglycemic amnesia. The diabetic can have an angry flare up that totally upsets everyone around them. Five minutes after the episode, the diabetic does not remember that it even happened.
I just think it's always good to check on every possibility - bi-polar and diabetes so that he can get a handle on this and help himself and his family live more peaceful lives. I know what it is wonder what reaction you will get if you should even say good morning.
Thanks for your input. I hope he gets both his diabetes and bi-polar under his control. God bless you!

pixsidust 2012-01-29 09:44:29 -0600 Report

Bipolar is a different chemical imbalance thats shows up in tests. Very bad to question a person on meds that they may not have a problem being bipolar. You mean well but your meaning well with lack of knowledge is a detriment. Bipolars not only mood swing but can become delusional and lose track of reality. Sometimes they think they are well, quit their medicine and slide off into that lack of reality. So when you say maybe its your sugar being out of whack you may be pointing them that direction. I mean really lose track. You can not talk them to reality either. Their heart races. Suicide is also part of it. I appreciate your passion but unless your well studied on this one. You need to tread lightly here. My ex was bipolar. Read Patty Dukes book "Brilliant Madness"

TsalagiLenape 2012-01-27 06:53:01 -0600 Report

Ok then why dont anyone tell me where to go or how to lose this weight gained thru pregnancies aka toxemia aka preeclamysia? I am 40 pounds overweight and its not going anywhere. All the experts I asked and etc vary with answers on this. Hence nothing works.

maclover1524 2012-01-27 07:25:11 -0600 Report

Oh dear, TsalagilLenape I am so sorry that you are having all this trouble losing weight. You are defeated but shouldn't be. If you read the comments that I posted, you will see that I recommend a number of books for you to read that hold the answers you are seeking. You can get them from the library or online at Amazon or any of the other great bookselling sites. I wish I had the room here to tell you what we did for my husband to lose what is now nearly 100 pounds but I don't. Please get the books. Don't lose hope because I know it can be done. The best part for us is that my husband has kept this weigh off for the past 9 years! Prior to that he could not lose 5 pounds no matter how hard he tried. Low carb, low carb, low carb. But watch your blood sugars! Especially if you're taking insulin. Your blood sugars will drop when you eat low carb so be careful and talk to your doctor as well about what you are going to do. Good luck and God bless you!

Jeanae 2012-02-22 09:58:06 -0600 Report

I losy 60 lbs and my dr.s kept saying they were not going to test me for severa more weeks but my blood sugars were dropping and my blood pressure (I was on 3 b.p. meds) would dip low and I would black out when going from a sitting to a standing position. I finally found a dr. that retested and that day he took me off all my b.p. meds, took me off insulin, and now I am only on metformin but he is thinking about taking me off that as my b.s. readings are normal and my a1c is in the low 5's.

TsalagiLenape 2012-01-28 08:14:14 -0600 Report

Well thing is I lost sixty pounds prior to becoming a diabettic. Now I fluxuate between 160 and 180 pounds. Not able to keep things off. like before. Hence the question.

lothos710 2012-01-26 13:30:42 -0600 Report

It feels good in a way to hear I am not the only one who has the same issues that this is not just me and yet I am sad to hear that there are so many that do, I try everyday to fight, I wake up and take my sugars, I dieted and lost wait i weighed 319 pounds when this started a went down to 280 and now my weight is 261 pounds I basically stopped eating what I use to (it was nothing for me to eat 10 double cheese burgers from McDonalds, I don't eat a lot of starchy foods I've lost the taste for Fried Potatoes and things like that we changed to olive oil for all of our cooking, i am on the right eating habits but it seems My sugars never come down I use as an example 3 days ago my sugar before dinner was 424, i had a baked pork chop half a cup of butter beans and greens and w slice of wheat bread that was lunch before lunch my sugar was 319 after i took my sugar and it was 326 i took my fast acting insulin, so like i said before dinner it was 424, after eating dinner which was basically the same just added carrots to it and my sugar jumped to 490 once again i took my fast acting and then my regular shot of Lantus which is 150 units I was concerned cause i felt funny so i took my sugar again and it was at 567 i looked back on my diet to see what it may have been but i cant for the life of my find it and this is a typical day. i drink water and tea and sometimes i will drink a diet soda. someone suggest that i could be insulin resistant and if this is the case i am basically out of luck right, I thank everyone for the support, also Caroltoo yes the Bipolar has been there before the diagnoses we looked at situations in my past that also pointed to the bipolor, and i guess i am lucky with my Psychiatrist has type 2 diabetes so she is very careful with my meds, this makes it hard to get the right Bipolar meds

Caroltoo 2012-01-26 13:58:44 -0600 Report


Glad she is aware of the issues w/r/t diabetes and your psychotropic meds. That's one less thing to worry about. Also glad you have someone to talk with about the issues I was suggesting.

Diabetes is an ongoing issue, but you do seem to have more struggles than many of us. I'm surprised at how high you are saying your blood glucose is even with insulin. Your food choices sound good, but your comment about 10 double cheeseburgers in the past, makes me wonder if quantity could be an issue. I know when mine are stubborn, I've found 2 things: 1. I am eating to much at a meal — even too much of the good stuff causes a BG rise and/or 2. I'm eating something that MY body doesn't process well despite the fact that most consider it "OK". As an example of the latter, I could not eat a slice of wheat toast. Love it, but sends my BGs soaring … in fact ANYTHING with wheat in it does. Might be something else to explore.

I discovered some of this by testing just before I ate, then 1.5 or so after my first bite. If the meal caused a BG rise, I'd begin to test again after eating separate components to see what caused the bump. For instance, a plain porkchop probaly would not…I'd put it at the bottom of my list. If it was a breaded or barbequed porkchop, I'd check it right after checking the piece of wheat toast. Green beans don't usually cause reactions, butter beans or any of those resembling legumes are much more likely to do so.

Why don't you do some specific testing, then let's dialogue some more as you get more facts.


pixsidust 2012-01-26 13:05:27 -0600 Report

My Ex is bi-polar. Its hard to get treated properly
Like diabetic's missing insulin, you are also missing lithium
Yet doctors are not prescribing it because few…I mean few
Know how to treat the disease

Eskalith is a time released lithium
and a real god send to my ex and everyone around him
Tell your doctor you want to try it.
Your moods will improve and normalize
I know…and feel for all of you
This would be my first call!
If they won't find a doctor who specializes in Manic depression
There are web sites, so look but try really hard to push for this

Obviously you have to be better with your meal plan
You need to sit down and plan your meals
Cut some carbs out but not completely
Plan balance in your meals
Do not just eat…plan

Start making calls, making a plan and take it easy
on your family, be quick to hug, smile etc…
If you find fault bite your tongue…give praise instead
No dog becomes better behaved by being beaten
Your family needs that.

Any help or info I can give you, I will do my best

jimmuel 2012-01-26 11:46:07 -0600 Report

I am bipolar to with typ2 diabetes,anxiety,depression,neurophy,my bipolar meds was keeping my BS high,two meds an 2 different insulins.just to find that my bipolar meds are keeping my a1c an BS sugars high,now my doctor an psychiatrist are working to gether to fix the problem,just ask them if this could be your problem an to help.stay strong an you can beat this,as the rest has said talk to your family an try to explain what your going through,that you love them all very much,may god be with you an your family

MrsCDogg 2012-01-26 07:27:52 -0600 Report

Get the starchy carbs out of your diet. It is one of the best things I did for myself. You will feel better I'm sure. Once I got them out of my diet I feel less depressed and have actually lost a few pounds. My ultimate goal is to get off the insulin totally. I wish you the best of luck. It is never easy to deal with diabetes and all of it's little friends that seem to come along with it.

GabbyPA 2012-01-26 10:24:15 -0600 Report

I agree so much! I am on a purge of grains from my diet right now. Trying to use alternative sources for flour and such. I am feeling better already. I also have found for myself having a low to no carb breakfast is best and gets my day going in the right direction.

smiles4all 2012-01-26 01:03:13 -0600 Report

get an internist for a Doctor, they can deal with it and if your on disability, Medicare should cover the cost of your meds.

Set apart
Set apart 2012-01-25 06:16:37 -0600 Report

Hi Lothos, I am so new to this, so limited I. How I can relate. I was so healthy, excuse me did I say was I AM still healthy. Dr said with diagnosis of T1 5 months ago "think of this you're going into this healthy", my life changed drastically, I still cry silently to myself, I cry to my God still and ask Why? I want my life back sometimes yesterday out of kindness visiting a child at a daycare someone Nicely gave me a reeses cup, I must have looked at it like it was poison and just said thanks and stuck it in my bag. Lately my BGs are everywhere this honeymoon period needs to end, whoever named this honeymoon obviously didn't experience the panncreas going haywire on them. I got past my first holiday season, now Valentines day, chocolate everywhere, it's never going go end is it? Yesterday as I prepared my ground chicken meatballs and tried to figure out my carb count fix for dinner, I became so emotional and cried. My husband is very supportive, wants me to stop working, yet he doesn't realize that by doing that I am stepping into the danger zone of thinking that this disease is in control! I am in control even if I battle every day towards balance, I eat sometimes just to eat not even tasting the food. Food sometimes as a choice depends more on what will it do to my BG than the taste. Stay strong for us, my work involves working with infants birth to 3 yeArs old with disabilities and also most of the time prenatal drug exposure, domestic violence. I see life differently cuz they are helpless and have no control of their home environments, so much pain and this is what also keeps me strong to be able to help them! Lothos we Are in a battle and this is my cross which I will carry daily I am tagged with a med ID bracelet, but I will survive, take care of yourself so that you can take care of this whom you love!

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2012-01-24 18:03:59 -0600 Report

Hi lothos!

I am sad to hear that you are struggling so much right now. You are dealing with a lot, physical and mental illness.

I can't add much to the wisdom that Nick1962, girlinthewoods, and others have shared with you.

A chronic condition like diabetes brings up a lot of emotions, and anger is certainly one of them. It just isn't fair. And when we feel frustrated and helpless, we get mad. That's just being human.

One of the ways that people get beyond the anger is to work on acceptance, as others have suggested. To decide to live with the condition, to take it one step at a time, one day at a time, do what you can to take the best care of yourself, and not fight the process, in spite of how unfair it seems. Autopilot, as Nick1962 said, so that you can preserve your mental energy for the things in life that give you pleasure, like your family.

But I am also concerned about the bipolar disorder diagnosis and your anxiety. Are you in treatment? Are you on medication for these conditions? Have you talked to your doctor about the relationship between blood sugar and anxiety? About any potential concerns about your medications and your diabetes?

I suspect you have, but it can't hurt to make sure that your care is being coordinated as well as possible.

Have a talk with your wife and children. Tell them what's going on with you, how you are feeling, how much you love them, how much you need their support and how much you want to support them, too. Communcation can bridge the distance and help to keep you all close.

Stay in touch!


girlinthewoods 2012-01-24 13:40:12 -0600 Report

I am whole heartedly wit you on this one. I too feel useless and then I think of my grand children and my husband who also went through this with his mother and took care of her, my kids who need me and my son. I want to watch them and spend time with them. I try not to think of tomorrow but only today because I am guaranteed no tomorrow or today and then I gave a good cry, usually alone, then I pick myself up and move on. It doesn't get worse unless we allow it to get that way. I keep saying 7 stages of grief dealing with this disease. I too am angry. I didn't do this to myself or did I. Y me I was the healthiest. I don't deserve this. I want to live like everyone else. etc etc etc. I am like everyone else…I am alive and can do anything I want to. I may have to do it slower or with more difficulty but I can do it. No one deserves this disease. Sometimes things just happen. It is emotions and the high sugars do it to you. Keep stress levels down and ask for help. Talk to someone daily if necessary. The disorders along with this is very difficult but it will be ok. Don't give up. You are stronger than that. Eat the right things. I don't have money for my meds neither. Pull yourself up by the bootstraps and get a move on. That is what my grandma always said. so go and do it

Nick1962 2012-01-24 11:22:27 -0600 Report

I can’t really imagine where your head is at right now, I can only offer my own experience along with what others have offered here. I keep seeing the words “feel” and “emotion” here attached with diabetes.
Feelings and emotions are a lot like water. Water can nourish, cool, and cleanse. It is necessary to life. But in the wrong place (your computer for instance), it can be very damaging, and too much of it – like a flood – can be devastating.
My first year was a wreck. I labeled myself as “sick”, but the funny thing was I didn’t really feel any different than I did before I was diagnosed. I was really only sick on paper. The meds did make me physically sick though once I started taking them. I really didn’t like the feeling but was resigned that it would be that way the rest of my life. Now I really was sick, and was actually a little angry with my doctor for making me feel that way. Trouble was I was still getting up every morning and doing my job, and squeezing my 270 lb. frame into places most people wouldn’t go if forced. It was my job and I didn’t really have a feeling about it one way or the other. It’s what I do, I’m good at it, and it will get done because I like my paycheck.
One morning I woke up, tested, took my 4 medications (blood pressure, cholesterol, diabetes, pain), had a cup of coffee (which as usual knotted up my stomach) took a shower and went to work. My daily routine. It was the way it was and I had no feeling about it by that point anymore. This was how it would be the rest of my life, and I went on with my day, crabby from the knotted up stomach and with sore and bruised fingers from testing. I’m not sure what tripped the trigger in my head (it was probably several things), but it dawned on me I was on autopilot. No feelings or emotions anymore about my condition. My chiropractor asked “is this how you plan to be the rest of your life?” I responded “what choice do I have?” She said “you already know losing weight will only improve things”, and I agreed. At that point I decided I had to put myself on autopilot but in the right direction, or stay miserable. I took some classes and changed my diet, and each step I took made me feel better.
It took time, but all the negative feelings and emotions about life for me in general (some I didn’t even realize I had) I found out were just water in the wrong place. That sick and defeated feeling had to go or it’d just turn into a flood. And the people who needed the water – my family and friends – were being starved of it like a dying houseplant. I’ve learned that I’m again on autopilot. I am diabetic and I have to test each morning just like I need to shower. No thoughts, no emotions, just a part of life like taking out the trash. Most mornings I don’t like to eat my apple for breakfast, but if I don’t it just means more testing, so I have my routine. I’ve learned to look at my condition(s) like a second occupation. Another job. I have to get up and do it each day, no thoughts or emotions to it, eat what I’ve laid out for my diet, test, and whatever else I need to do to get good at it. It’s taken a while but I am good at it now, and the paycheck is better health and attitude. All that water I had been pouring in the wrong places now goes to the places that need it.

byrun 2012-01-24 12:21:20 -0600 Report

Excellent, Rick. I commend you on the choices you have made, for you, your family, friends and your life.

GabbyPA 2012-01-24 12:14:38 -0600 Report

That is incredibly insightful. I can add nothing to make it any more. Thanks!

Nick1962 2012-01-24 13:34:24 -0600 Report

Thanks gabby, but the word "insightful" makes it sound so profound when it really isn't. When i see folks here that have been dealing with it for 66 years like Richard157, I suspect many here treat it the same way. Its just what we have to do.

GabbyPA 2012-01-25 09:19:11 -0600 Report

I guess I just really appreciate the analogy of the water and where it goes and what it can do. That gives me a visual and helps me see it more clearly. I get muddy quite often because of my "view every side of things" way that I reason through life. This I found very insightful...truly.

Nick1962 2012-01-25 10:44:17 -0600 Report

Funny you mention muddy. I think that’s where the analogy was born. If we can stand a story…..I had to visit a construction site weekly during the rainy season. Every time I’d get out of the truck, within 10 minutes my feet weighed about 12lbs each because of all the mud caked on. It was tough to walk and after about 2 hours my legs were tired. One day one of the contractors asked how I felt, I said “a lot like this site”, and I guess I really did. Every morning felt like I was just trudging, never getting a firm footstep. We did finally get some trenches dug to divert the rain water and things improved.

nzingha 2012-01-24 09:21:12 -0600 Report

ooohhh..i feel ur pain.. but dont give up. so many challenges with this diabetes thing.. believe me.. how about feeling like u r topping over..everyday.. weak and nervous feet.. every day.. head feeling light… blood pressure constantly high.. feeling like u want to scream at everyone u meet.. and then they tell u u have developed this thing called cushing disease… ohhh.. i can imagine how u feel.. but u have to fight it.. try and get those numbers down.,. cut out the starchy foods.. eat loads of vegs.. vegs, vegs, vegs.. and some protein.. nuts, fruits but watch those fruits too and excercise.. walk, walk walk.. and swim when u can… and try to eliminate all the things and people around u who make ur life miserable.. try.. try and try harder each day! life is all we know.. who knows or cares what happens when its gone.. try and enjoy it as much as u can.. do it with family and good friends…

Jeanae 2012-01-24 08:44:59 -0600 Report

I can't offer advice because I have not experienced what you have. All I can do is offer you support and to let you know I am praying for you and your family. I am praying that you can find meds. available to you and the professional help - drs, therapists, whatever that you need. I will always be here to listen if you need an ear. The people that are responding to you below are great. They KNOW what they are talking about. They offer wonderful words of wisdom, advice, comfort, etc. I hope they can help you on your journey. Actually I hope they can help you with this battle because it is a battle. You are at war with diabetes. You have to win for your sake and the sake of your family. Be strong. Good luck.

sweetkyfirefly83 2012-01-23 20:43:23 -0600 Report

Lothos, I completely understand where you are coming from. I too was diagnosed in 2005, and it has been a long and very bumpy road for myself as well. I believe I have been in denial for a long period of time about being sick. I thought that I didn't need meds, and that I could handle everything on my own. I even tried to hide the fact that I was diabetic to my now fiance. I feel like a major burden to my family, and hate to admit that I am sick. I have alot of side effects of the disease. I have diabetic neuropathy in my hands and feet, and now have to take a medication for that, plus I was diagnosed with high cholesterol so yet another med on top of the TWO insulins I have to take a day. At age 28, this seems very overwhelming. I have thought many times on just taking as much insulin as I could and just going to sleep to get away from being such a burden. But then my kids do something to remind me that they still need me.

I can't offer you a fix-all cure for what your feeling. I know your situation and mine are different, but yet the same. What I can offer you is support and an ear to listen when you are down. I know its hard.

I just now have medical insurance to cover my expenses. So Ive gone with out meds for a long time as well.

If you need to talk, just message me.

RAYT721 2012-01-23 20:32:29 -0600 Report

I am so sorry to hear of all the struggles you are having. I don't know what area you are in but I have heard of many pharmacies that offer free oral diabetes medications to customers (we have them in Ohio at Giant Eagle stores but have heard of others) and you didn't mention if your medication is oral or injection insulin. I understand the emotional / bipolar / anxiety issues and surely they are not helping with the tensions in your family relationships but being aware of them can often be the first step to doing something about them. Does your community offer counseling services that you may benefit from? Again, I don't know where you are but there should be a local United Way Services Agency that may be able to direct you. Diabetes is a very frustrating disease and can be most harmless when left untreated. It sounds like you are aware of what needs to be done which puts you in a better place than others who have no goals or plans or education/resources. I wish I had answers but please know that you are now a part of a group of people who share your condition and can understand where you were, where you are, and want to be with you on the journey of where you are going. Please let me know if there is anything that I can do or say. Sometimes it's great just to have someone to talk to. Please feel free to talk to me… anytime!

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2012-01-23 19:51:10 -0600 Report

Hi lothos, you are losing the battle because I don't think you have not fully come to terms with being dabetic. It isn't easy at first and with your added medical problems, you have to fight a little harder.

Take one day at a time. You didn't explain why your fear people. I understand not having money for what you need. There are a lot of people who are in the same position and this could be one of the reasons why you are angry.

Contact the manufacturer of the medications you take. They may be able to give them to you at a reduced rate or free. Look in your city to see if there is a bi-polar support group. Contact them and see if they have group meetings and what the fee would be.

I use to suffer from anxiety attacks. With therapy and a relaxation tape by Dr. David Miller, I followed a daily relaxation regiment and now I no longer have that problem. I also had an anger problem. To handle that, I looked at what made me angry. I asked myself why something made me angry and if it was worth being angry about what ever it was. Most of the time what makes us angry is not worth getting angry. If you cannot control something, why get angry. No matter what you do, you can't control it and no matter how angry you get, it will still be out of your control.

Stress, anger and anxiety will cause your blood sugar to be out of control. You said you tried walking but it causes pain. Are you suffering from neuropathy. For me it got better once my blood sugar was under control. Now I rarely have a flare up. Diabetic Socks also helped because they have a thicker sole and provided a better cushion than regular socks.

I bought a journal and wrote down how I felt, about my anxiety and anger and what made me happy or sad, I shared it with my therapist and we worked on my problems together. More importantly talk to your wife. Tell her how you feel and that you love her and the kids. Ask her to help you with what you need and help her as much as you can. You will get through this.

Kirla 2012-01-23 19:37:41 -0600 Report

This is what I believe has helped me a lot. It may help you and again it may not. I just don’t see anything wrong with eating lots of low carb vegetables drinking plenty of water and cutting back or eliminating high carb starchy foods. Testing blood sugar before and after eating should give you an idea on what to eat and what not to eat.

Feb 2009 I was diagnosed with a fasting blood sugar of 366 and A1C of 14.1. Started to eat a salad every day at supper. Also started to eat lots of low carb vegetables like broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, cucumbers, spinach, pickles and sauerkraut. Started to drink 8+ glasses of water every day.

I then bought a meter and started to test my blood sugar before and after each meal. At first I was testing 2 hours after each meal and when my numbers dropped a lot I started testing 1 hour after meals. I test 5-7 times a day. I cut back or eliminated foods that spiked my blood sugar more than 50 points after eating.

By testing I found that foods like bread and most foods made of grains along with pasta, rice, corn, potatoes, oatmeal, cereals, chips, crackers, cakes, cookies, candy, soda, fruits, fruit juices, milk and most foods that contain more than 5-6 net carbs per serving as found on the package label all spiked my blood sugar. Some people can cut back on these foods and some people like me have to stop eating them.

After about 6-8 weeks my blood sugar readings were almost normal levels.

I found by reducing and eliminating high carb starchy foods helped me a lot. By adding small amounts of chicken, beef, pork or a hard boiled egg to my meals helped reduce blood sugar spikes also.

Good luck

Caroltoo 2012-01-23 19:35:20 -0600 Report

Anger is a way to try to be strong when you really feel vulnerable. You were the strong one in your family, the healthy one, and now you are not. That's a lot to accept and you may be using your anger to keep from feeling all the pain that is in your heart and soul because you fear that you have failed your family, wife, and your self.

It would be helpful to know if the bi-polar and anxiety diagnosis were present before your diabetes diagnosis. Anxiety is frequently the result of high blood glucose levels…when you are shaking from high BGs, it feels to you like fear and anxiety, which in turn creates fear and anxiety.

Am I anywhere near on target so far?

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