Just found this today

By FReneC Latest Reply 2012-01-24 07:44:15 -0600
Started 2012-01-18 12:36:44 -0600

My husband is the diabetic, I am just the "caregiver" as you will. I try to help him keep it under control but he has so much going on. It is 477, it is 32, it is 110. He buys sugar free cookies or candy for his sweet tooth, but can't eat 2-3 has to eat the whole bag in a matter of hours. He got into the Christmas candy I got, snickers, M&M's. I know it is hard when you have a sweet tooth, but I can't get him to have a snack every 2 hours. He isn't hungry a lot anymore, so that doesn't help. He eats to many carbs. I tell him he doesn't care enough. Not about me, him, his health. He has so many ups and downs. He has stress, that doesn't help. One thing that is a problem is when he gets too tired, he gets very weary, starts slurring and can go to bed at 6:30 at night and sleep 12 hours. When he is over tired he is either angry or is emotional and crying. This roller coaster is hard!! Has anyone else ever heard/have the slurring?? I don't know how to get him to take better care of himself. He thinks he is, but if I say too much, I am nagging! Please help!

18 replies

Caroltoo 2012-01-23 00:20:55 -0600 Report

Just reread your article. Don't have candy in the house. At this point he is like a sugar addcit.

FReneC 2012-01-23 15:57:35 -0600 Report

My dad got put candy I'm our stockings…Steve got sugar free & I got regular…he got into mine. I don't buy sweets because I know he want stay out of them. I also should have hid my candy, but thought I could trust him…

Caroltoo 2012-01-24 07:44:15 -0600 Report

Until he is under his own control, I'd really think of it as an addiction … the urge is equally compelling. I'm glad that it wasn't you who made the purchase of candy cause sometimes we do need to keep the house clear of stuff that isn't good for the person we are trying to help. Doesn't feel fair, but as someone on here said recently, safest way is to consider yours a diabetic house, not just a diabetic husband. Once he has some motivation and control of his own, you may be able to bring some goodies back into the house. It's not always a forever thing, but a way to get the process moving towards where you want it to go. And yes, hindsight is a glorious thing and frequently the way we learn.

cavie2 2012-01-23 00:02:43 -0600 Report

I have to agree with pixiedust and alanbossman. Buying the likes of snickers and M&M's is like a family member going out and buying drugs for a drug addict. Then they wonder why the person can't get clean and free of drugs. Eating way too may carbs and sweets for diabetics is exactly the same. IT IS A DEATH SENTENCE. Have you heard the saying "You have to be cruel to be kind" He is slurring his words because his BS is sooo high it makes him want to sleep and the danger is he can slip into a diabetic coma, ie., diabetic hypo (Blood Sugar too low) or diabetic hyper (Blood Sugar too high)

FReneC 2012-01-23 15:55:54 -0600 Report

We have checked his blood sugar when he is slurring & it is usually within normal range, that's what is weird.

alanbossman 2012-01-19 09:54:23 -0600 Report

Hi and welcome to DC family what pixsidust posted is blunt but mild to needs to change his food habits and fast more skinless chicken breasts skinless turkey and fish in his eating. If he still won't listen this maybe be harsh but get a not pad and pen and ask him how he would like his obituary to read in the newspaper, if he says why, tell him if he keeps going eating bad things and won't help him self this is where he will be later also ask what kind of casket he would like.

pixsidust 2012-01-18 20:39:40 -0600 Report

First I want to embrace you
The job you have is hard and thankless
I must speak plain even bluntly to you for the sake of this stubborn
man that you love.
I know you rather to hear blunt words than to be without him
We can and will help you so do come here often

Quit buying the sweet stuff altogether
Make him balanced meals and quit trying to cater to that tooth
If he is shopping then you must take over the shopping
Buying the stuff is aiding him on the roller coaster
He may start slurring because of what is sugar is doing and its dangerous
These are strong words if you do not want to lose him stop
He could die and other organs like his heart and kidneys shut down

Sugar free also has Carbs that have to be counted

He can not be trusted to do whats right
then you have to do what you can…by not buying it to save his life

He might have an appetite if his sugar is not so out of whack
and he is not full on junk.
This is so hard and I know I am being blunt…forgive me
This is his life and what you are describing is so life threatening

You both need to see a dietitian
Once he gets balanced and his Meds ironed out
and control…real control of himself
then introduce minimal sweets

Lastly here is a Hug…My prayers are with you

FReneC 2012-01-19 08:30:47 -0600 Report

Thanks for your input!! No, you weren't blunt, you were truthful and I thank you. We both are still learning what he can eat and can't, so I need all the help I can get!!!

Graylin Bee
Graylin Bee 2012-01-18 15:40:15 -0600 Report

Being the caregiver is often like walking a tightrope. I was in that position with my Mother-in-law, years before I was diagnosed with diabetes. The PWD (person with diabetes) has to want to make all the right choices. I could only offer as much support as she allowed. It was hard to watch her make wrong choices But I understood, like with any disease, the individual gets to choose what to do.

Matunuckan 2012-01-21 19:28:57 -0600 Report

Being a diabetic is like walking a tightrope! Nobody, including the caregiver, can keep your balance - YOU HAVE TO DO IT YOURSELF! Please read this to your spouse. The PWD needs to have help & the caregiver provides that help, however the PWD is just being selfish by not doing the things that NEED to be done.

FReneC 2012-01-22 00:36:34 -0600 Report

Thank you, I tell him he doesn't care enough, about him or us to take care of himself.

Caroltoo 2012-01-22 14:45:28 -0600 Report

It's tough being with someone who won't take responsibility for personal health choices, but you may get better results if you take the high road on this one. He is possibly overwhelmed, frightened, …, all those negative emotions which you probably also feel but he may have a harder time expressing.

Recrimination will just drive a wedge between you at a time when you both really need to draw closer for emotional support. Set the pace, be the role model, take care of him until he can learn to accept he needs to take care of himself.

We all deal with the grief differently … he may need time and encouragement.

FReneC 2012-01-22 21:36:59 -0600 Report

Thank you…I have read these to him & he is realizing more & more he has to be more careful…

pixsidust 2012-01-22 21:41:22 -0600 Report

Have him join here.
He can at least read the discussions
He can see answers to questions even if he never replies or starts a discussion. You can use any name and no one knows who you really are

FReneC 2012-01-19 08:41:16 -0600 Report

I have fibromyalgia and Chronic fatigue, so it's hard enough to take care of myself, then to have to watch him…! It's just hard having to be the warden, he's old enough to take care of himself. Like I said, I have told him that he doesn't care enough…

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