R-E-S-P-E-C-T, That is What You Deserve

By GabbyPA Latest Reply 2014-12-31 06:51:01 -0600
Started 2012-01-14 21:29:56 -0600

It seems that there have been a lot of raw nerves of late here on the site. I don't know if it is the post Holiday let down or the winter blues, but one thing is true. We all need to respect each other.

You want to be treated with respect. I know I do. So if that is what we want, then that is what we should be giving as well. Even in disagreement, we can still listen to that little voice that says "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." I mean that. Just leave the conversation before starting something that gets way out of hand.

If there are things going on in the site that you don't think are appropriate, please flag the comment instead of starting an argument. Please refrain from calling people names and stirring up the pot. Respect each person and understand that we do not all come from the same place in life. Life choices are made and some of them are not great, but that doesn't degrade the person at all. They post because they want help, even if they really don't realize it. So please, always be helpful, not hurtful.

We are all here for support and help. We can get the nit picking and complaining anywhere. This is where we want to come to learn about how we can improve our lives, not stress out because some one said something that was a little odd or off color. Words without a face sometimes get misunderstood. Jokes can be taken the wrong way. Even our cultural differences can cause issues.

I come here every day because I trust that you all have my back. I have yours. This place is special. Respect each other emotionally, intellectually, culturally, in experience or lack of it. It is what we all deserve.

79 replies

sweetslover 2014-12-29 21:41:19 -0600 Report

Amen! Well said. I would also like to add that sometimes our diabetes makes us emotional and sensitive to comments. We need to remember this when reading comments as well as writing them. Some people can be blunt without really meaning to be hurtful.

sweetslover 2014-12-30 20:51:45 -0600 Report

I may have to eat my words. I have responded to 2 posts today from people who have obviously not read my entire discussion, or who think they can interpret a situation by accusing me of bad eating habits. I found them hurtful and they made me mad. I do not easily anger—don't like the way that emotion feels—and I try to always be considerate of others. BUT—don't accuse this old southern lady of things you know nothing about.

GabbyPA 2014-12-31 05:35:53 -0600 Report

I am sorry that has happened. I hope that the bad apples don't make you feel the whole lot is bad. You can always flag a response if you feel it's inappropriate.

sweetslover 2014-12-31 06:51:01 -0600 Report

Thanks, Gabby. I definitely know there are more good apples on DC than bad. I am truly thankful I found all of you.

suecsdy 2014-11-13 14:51:17 -0600 Report

I think one of the best things I learned from my mom was "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all". The older I get, the more sound that advice is. If you cannot disagree with someone respectfully, then just pass it on by.

tinkerbell54 2013-06-11 00:30:41 -0500 Report

we all "need" resept but we dont all ways give it to our fellow diabetic friends .But we should as diabetics we need to stay together its hard out there , we need to stay strong this life is hard 4 us diabetics, we need to "unitnite" as group not tire each other apart with our words. I know we may not see eye to eye on certain topics does not mean we should "hurt" fellow diabetic with our words or actions. As my MOM would say if you dont have nothing "nice" to say about a person "keep" Ur mouth shout. Tinkerbell54

lanykins 2013-05-08 21:18:22 -0500 Report

Gabby, this is an excellent discussion on Respect. I especially like where you point out that even if someone says something that is disturbing, don't degrade them, always be helpful, not hurtful". That is so important.

I don't get here every day but I love it here and it is good to know that I trust my friends to have my back. This is a very special place where a lot is said about how our bodies and emotions are feeling. They go together. Yes, respect is what we all deserve. Thank you.

tabby9146 2013-05-06 10:47:10 -0500 Report

well said Gabby!! I have been on here over 4 yrs, and thankfully, no one has said anything bad to me, and I have never said anything bad, I don't thnk I would, but having said that, watch somebody say something now LOL. I hope that whoever has not gotten alng in the past, will now. I seem to miss some of these and I am glad I do. yes please everyone, respect each other, before you say something, try to imagine how you would feel, if those words were said to you. Do unto others as you would have done to you;.

lanykins 2013-04-01 21:48:28 -0500 Report

Thank you for what you wrote. You are so right on all accounts and it is something that applies to everyone. This can help us all if we just remember that we need respect and if we can give that back to others it is a wonderful sharing process. I know I really need it and I want to give good thoughts and encouragement to others. That is a way of treating others with respect.

Old-n-Grey-n-Wiser 2012-03-29 11:46:32 -0500 Report

Take time to read and digest a post in your mind before your fingers hit the keyboard, understand what is being said or asked before you answer

Caroltoo 2012-03-29 13:29:52 -0500 Report

Whenever possible, go to the actual discussion page so you can see the context of the post you want to respond to. Sometimes that context makes a dramatic change in your perception of what was meant in the exchange.

jayabee52 2012-03-29 14:14:10 -0500 Report

I do that most of the times when I respond and it does make a big change in perception! I like to read the whole string of the discussion, if there's one available, which helps me a lot. I get frustrated when someone answers another when it seemed obvious to me that they didn't read the context.

Seems to me a lot of misunderstandings get started that way, and sometimes when the misunderstanding is pointed out and attempted to get straightened out, the damage is done, and the idea is set in stone in the other's mind. So frustrating to see that happen!

Caroltoo 2012-03-29 15:48:36 -0500 Report

Pain can't be redacted like the written word. We need to be aware of what we are saying and how it will sound to others; "cause no harm" would be a good motto for us too.

alesiafae 2012-03-28 13:47:44 -0500 Report

I hear you Gabby I've been here a short while and I have already been offended by something someone posted in response to my posts. Gabby, I also feel that we should think before we post. Ask yourself would you want someone to say to you what you have just said? Gabby, I salute you for putting this out there!

dietcherry 2012-01-26 21:16:50 -0600 Report

In light of recent events, this Discussion is more timely than ever.

We are going to disagree here from now until the end of time but there are things that occur that overstep the boundaries of what our beloved site represents.

DC is many things: a health site; a support site; an educational site; a recipe site.

On the flip side, there are things DC is not: a dating site; a religious site; a free advertising site; a political site.

Those who seek to take advantage of members who are here for the intended reasons, compromise what our site stands for and what makes it so special.

On the flip side of that, there are incredible people here who are looking out for all of you, wether you realize it or not.

Respect is a 2-way street and its extremely difficult to extend respect when it hasnt been received. My hope is that everyone will strive to see the best in each other and try to find common ground, always.

I love all of you and if I have ever hurt or disregarded anyones feelings here, let this be my sincere apology. Renee

Set apart
Set apart 2012-01-26 21:23:52 -0600 Report

I agree with you still new here Will also apologize if I have ever said anything that may be offensive to anyone. I love this site and will stay on track as to the goals and needs of the community! Best wishes!

red flower lady
red flower lady 2012-01-25 20:26:46 -0600 Report

I'm trying to understand how someone can ask of another, and then not do the same? If you don't like a discussion or reply, then move on and don't post. To continually ask for someone to stop and grow up, then turn around and keep posting excerpts, rants and raves and keep it in the spotlight, then that person has a problem as well. To ask administrators to remove a person and then continue the problem is wrong!!! We are not forced to reply and can be GROWN-UP by not doing so.

It seems as if the persons involved have reported each other, so now it is up to the site administrators to take the proper action and move on:)

cavie2 2012-01-25 23:48:36 -0600 Report

Here here, Darlene when I read the comments hours ago that is exactly what I thought, wanted to write a reply myself but knew it would not be half as polite as your one. So I just want to say that I whole heartedly agree with what you said. I thought that what some of that person said was outragous to say the least and to actually name that other person on a public wall is disgraceful.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2012-01-25 21:31:12 -0600 Report

Red I agree with you. People have a hard time letting go. Everyone wants to come out the winner. The angry person does not always see things clearly or think rationally.

People also say and do things that someone may find inappropriate. A judge once ruled against a police officer for locking up a man for saying something he viewed as inappropriate. The judge stated in his decision "What is inappropriate to you may not be inappropriate to anyone else. Officer it is time you grew up".

So someone said something to you that you think was inappropriate. You don't have to respond or report the person. That makes no sense. The thing to do is ignore it not turn it into an all out war of wills. People also take things said to them as a personal attack when 9 times out of 10 it isn't. People don't know that someone is easily offended or immature.

It is time to move forward and later those involved might look back and ask themselves why they let things get this far. Hopefully they can make amends and move on in a more positive manner.

red flower lady
red flower lady 2012-01-25 21:40:24 -0600 Report

You are so right. It is difficult for us to see what we ourselves are doing, and how our contributions can be just as unsettling.

Thanks for the reply, hope all is well with you

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2012-01-26 11:08:50 -0600 Report

Red I use to tell an abusive boss that you can't talk to people any kind of way or mistreat employees on a consistant basis. People have breaking points and can only take so much. I told her one day she was going to push someone to the point they could possilby go postal on her.

You also should not accuse people of something publicly or defame them. You can be sued if you cannot prove your accusations and your accusations cause them the loss of a job, ruins their business or harms them physically or mentally.

Red I am sitting here in a cold house. Had no money for fuel. I went and applied for Energy Assistance and oil was delivered yesterday. Waiting for our furnace guy to come start the furnace. Still job hunting but other than that I am ok. Hope all is well with you.

red flower lady
red flower lady 2012-01-26 19:51:58 -0600 Report

I am sooo very happy you were able to get the assistance, and hopefully the furnace was up and working today? I was at the college with my youngest getting her books and a haircut today. Heavens, how can you get a school ID without a new cut, haha.

Have you tried asking your local churches if any of their parishners are in need of help? If you are on state aid, some of the bigger companies will hire you as they get tax write offs. I know that grocery stores do this. Go online for the unemployment office in your area and they have a list of job openings in the area as well. If I can think of anything else, I'll let you know.

Hang in there, as things will change for you!

Old-n-Grey-n-Wiser 2012-01-25 17:38:26 -0600 Report

Since I was had a big part in the "raw nerves" here I feel it is time I add my two and a half cents. I urge every one to read all off the posts in this discussion and see whom is running their fingernails down the chalkboard.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2012-01-25 19:41:45 -0600 Report

Tom it isn't important who is running their fingernails down the chalkboard. It went on longer than it should have. Sometimes someone has to realize that the argument isn't worth all this and walk away.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2012-01-25 12:24:06 -0600 Report

Howe and pixi, please stop. I don't know what either of you have done to the other, but to take it this far is immature and fruitless. Respect is not given, it is earned. What you do and how you do it earns respect. What some adults never seem to learn is the definition of the word NO. You cannot make anyone like you, love you, care about you, or want to be with you if they don't. If someone isn't interested, walk away. I had a magnet on my fridge that said "What part of NO don't you understand, the N or the O?". The fact is that NO means exactly that, NO.

Today Cyber Stalking/Harassment is a crime. If you email or text someone constantly and they ask you not to contact them and you continue you can be considered a Cyber Stalker and get arrested and charged with the crime.

Howe you said words can hurt you more than you know. However, words can only hurt you if you allow them to. Eleanor Roosevelt said "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission" so why give people permission?

Working with public I have been called everything but a human being, I have been cursed at, threatened and kicked at. I handle it this way, I don't look at you when I go to sleep or wake up, you don't feed me, put food on my table, clothing on my back or a roof over my head so I don't care what you call me or say to me as long as you don't touch me.

The problem with online friendships or acquaintances is that you really don't know the person. You don't know what they tell you is fact or fiction. You don't know if the picture they post is really them and you don't know if they are who they say they are. On line, people will say things to you they normally would not say to your face. On line and in the real world you will find people who let nothing bother them or most things offend them. Very little offends me and things I can't control, I don't let bother me.

So in the infamous words of Rodney King, "Can't we all just get along?" or simply agree to disagree and move forward. I enjoy reading what you post. More importantly don't let it bother you if someone likes or dislikes your post. It is not important. Life is to short to concern yourselves with whether or not someone likes or doesn't like what you said.

Peace and love to you both

'Second Chance'
'Second Chance' 2012-01-24 23:39:14 -0600 Report

Hi Gabby, how are you? I just want to commend you on such a touchy subject, 'RESPECT'!!!! That's what we all want, but first we all must 'show respect' toward one another, so that in return, we will get 'respect'!!!! I'm so proud of our friends in 'our community', who truly spoke up for what's right, that is, on the topic of having respect for one another!!! Now that's what I call 'team work'!! What do we get, 'TEAM WORK'…way to put it, 'WONDER PETS!!! LOL

'Second Chance'
'Second Chance' 2012-01-24 23:39:11 -0600 Report

Hi Gabby, how are you? I just want to commend you on such a touchy subject, 'RESPECT'!!!! That's what we all want, but first we all must 'show respect' toward one another, so that in return, we will get 'respect'!!!! I'm so proud of our friends in 'our community', who truly spoke up for what's right, that is, on the topic of having respect for one another!!! Now that's what I call 'team work'!! What do we get, 'TEAM WORK'…way to put it, 'WONDER PETS!!! LOL

GabbyPA 2012-01-25 09:12:57 -0600 Report

Maybe I am showing my age..."wonder pets?" LOL

People are people and we all do goofy stuff. Sometimes things just get out of hand and our sugar levels have our emotions out on our sleeves. Just like any family...we have our moments of "holiday disputes" if you will. LOL We still love each other in the end.

'Second Chance'
'Second Chance' 2012-01-25 14:39:10 -0600 Report

Hi Gabby, how are you, I apologize for the double response, hit the reply button twice. It's not your age or anything like that, that's what your 'grands', if you have any, will have you looking at it with them!!! That's 'my favorite, 'WONDER PETS', the cartoon, on the 'kids channell'!! As always, you know how to get us all to calm down, again thanks Gabby!!! You're right, after all that, 'we still love each other in the end!! As far as the 'WONDER PETS', Gabby, I'm lol with you. Enjoy your evening.

Diaschm 2012-01-24 23:21:56 -0600 Report

I have not been on for about 2 months because a person was pushing a few of us to write comments in scripture. I did not feel comfortable quoting the bible and trying to interpt sayings from the bible. I feel my faith is personal and I was going to be forced into something I did not want to participaste in. I missed the site though!

MAYS 2012-01-25 11:23:24 -0600 Report

We missed you also.
Glad to see that you are still a member of this wonderful family!

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2012-01-25 10:58:44 -0600 Report

some people have agendas. Not everything is based in Scripture. I don't know about other people's God, but my God designed us to think, reason, be caring of one another. We are able to think and reason because we are His treasured creation. Diaschm, don't be pushed away by one person's opinion. Yes, that is what it was, an opinion. Glad to see you hear. Jim

Snookie7 2012-01-27 03:20:38 -0600 Report

Just a suggestion to the staff with respect some of these post s are really old. Can they be pushed into the archives if over two week// It just makes it hard when the older posts are still open.

Young1s 2012-02-07 11:08:51 -0600 Report

The point of keeping them around is that these discussions and topics never go out of style. They get recycled. Just because a discussion is from 2009 doesn't mean that there isn't important information, suggestions or advice that can be of use/helpful to someone. I wouldn't want any of these discussions archived. They're ALL equally important to the community.

Snookie7 2012-01-27 03:18:50 -0600 Report

I'm great , blessed and highly flavored and I have the attitude that any day above the ground is very very good.

Teresa Rose
Teresa Rose 2012-01-25 09:39:19 -0600 Report

You should always be yourself & never feel like you have to compromise how you feel because of someone else's beliefs ect. and you shouldn't let it keep you from coming onto a wonderful site where so many care about you. I'm so glad to see you Diaschm.

Caroltoo 2012-01-25 00:38:13 -0600 Report

Glad you are back. Feel free to just say "No" to demands that feel uncomfortable. Respect includes being able to make that choice.

draco59 2012-01-24 22:26:22 -0600 Report

Very nicely put Gabby, unfortunately when you get a group of people together this will happen. Even though we are here for a support, help and just knowing we’re not alone. I’ve been on different lists that the same thing happens. Nobody twisted our arm to be here, we choose to be here. If you have a problem with someone, do it privately. Other list kick you off or suspended you for awhile. We are here to help each other; at least I know I am.

Somoca 2012-01-24 21:54:30 -0600 Report

This is why I am not here as much; too much fighting among the family. It was becoming very stressful to read…and confusing lol.

Teresa Rose
Teresa Rose 2012-01-17 08:44:33 -0600 Report

I first got on this site in May of 2011. The main reason that I continued to come here is that everyone on here cares about one another. I love that about this site. Very seldom have I seen anyone on here be rude to another person. With that said, I would like to say that most people on here are very easy to talk to. If I have any disagreements with someone on here I usually send them a private message and work it out in a private way. That way no one is singled out. There have been many times that I didn't agree with the views of others here but I am an adult and I have overlooked things at times when I thought the comment or joking was inappropriate. I could have red flagged some of those comments but I chose not to. However, I do believe there is a degree of decency we should portray here when we talk in our discussions ect. We should always do our best to be kind and polite and be careful not to say anything that would offend someone. We have new people that come here on a regular basis and our example to them should always be that we are a loving and caring bunch of people who can help them with their needs. You all have helped me tremendously. I Love You All On This Site !!! - Many Blessings To All - Teresa Rose

Caroltoo 2012-01-14 22:44:22 -0600 Report

Very nicely said. I couldn't agree more. Before we reply, we should all stop and think "How is this comment going to help the other person heal." There is already so much pain here that each of us is already dealing with. Our overreaching concern should be that we lighten, not increase each other's burdens.

Set apart
Set apart 2012-01-25 06:25:47 -0600 Report

This has been and continues to be Godsend to me, in life there are choices constantly in front of us. I choose to be involved in discussions where maybe my input can help and I also have read so much here that has helped me. Thank you my friends!

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