Just wanted to say a few things

By melissa1987 Latest Reply 2012-01-09 05:07:06 -0600
Started 2012-01-02 22:56:07 -0600

I would like to thank everyone for helping me through this rough time. I am planing on going to detox, not drinking anymore n I'm gonna start exercising more. I plan on taking care of myself and I'm sticking with my diet. I hope everyone had a good new years n I'll keep yas updated … Take care everyone n god bless.

38 replies

JSJB 2012-01-07 16:59:24 -0600 Report

I'm glad you are back melissa. Everyday is a step to recovery. Stay with the site, it gave me help

eristar 2012-01-06 06:17:11 -0600 Report

Praying for the best foy you, Melissa. I've been clean and sober for five years this month, and did it myself, but I had the support of a wonderful daughter and a couple of recovering friends - believe me, at first I marked every day on the calendar, craving "just one" to take the edge off…but I stuck it out. I'm so glad you have decided to take control and wish you the best of luck. In the long run, not being able to straighten your hair or wear makeup is a small price to pay to get your wonderful life back! Take care, and please let us know how you are doing!

melissa1987 2012-01-09 00:10:05 -0600 Report

Thank you hun. It's nice to know some people have been where I am. The hardest part is I got no support . My parents just throw the past n mistakes in my life everyday n it just makes me feel worse because I wish I could go back 3 years ago when they were proud of me when I was working and not on drugs but they don't understand anything. Very disfunction family but I am doing really good so far guys. Thanks for the support

robertoj 2012-01-05 22:22:41 -0600 Report

I was an addict alcoholic for 38 years and have been clean and sober for 11 years. I've never been happier. It takes time to unlearn bad habits and learn healthy ones. The more support you get the better.

bh69 2012-01-05 18:52:46 -0600 Report

I used to be a meth user for 8 years. I've never gone to rehab or a detox center and I quit and have been clean for 3 years now. From my own experiences with drug use, and what I'm about to write is meant with all the love and care in the world and beyond. The thing that seems to sum up drug use (to me at least) is that a person fails to CONTROL them selves. It's so very easy to just let the responsible true person that everyone truly is, slip away into the carelessness and what a person feels as "FUN" in drugs. Mel, girl ur on the right path and please always remember, "IT'S U THAT CONTROL THE DRUGS, DRUGS DO NOT CONTROL U"!! Lots of love to u girl, U CAN DO IT!!

melissa1987 2012-01-05 23:25:11 -0600 Report

I decided I am not going to detox. I think I can do it on my own, there are to many rules there. It feels like you r signing yourself into jail. I really believe I can do this myself . I just need to get away from here and get a job in another province. I know a few of you guys think I need detox n if I do I will go there but I honestly think I can do this on my own with out it. Thanks for all the support :)

pixsidust 2012-01-07 09:21:56 -0600 Report

Stay close to us. We love you no matter what! We want to know how you are with everything. Let us be your sounding board. We are proud of you and stand with you!

red flower lady
red flower lady 2012-01-05 23:40:48 -0600 Report

You need to go! You know you do or you wouldn't have checked into it in the first place. It is the addiction that is talking you out of this, donot let it continue to control you. There are rules for a reason and you'll eventually understand why they are there. I really feel that if you could do this on your own, then you would be a former user. You need people around you that can give the type of support needed for this and to help you understand yourself and get you on an upward path. You can do this:)

jayabee52 2012-01-06 00:08:14 -0600 Report

I agree with Red Flower Lady.

I know it is tough to sign in for a voluntary committal, and I agree the rules are there for some very good reasons, not to give the staff a "power trip". I have been staff in situations like the one you are describing, (only in the residents' cases they were mostly involuntary committals — for 72 hrs because the were deemed a danger to self and others). Those rules are to protect you from yourself, and to protect you from other patients and other patients from you, as well as the staff.

You might be able to do this on your own, but consider how deeply those substances have their "hooks" in you. I doubt that it will be a "walk in the park" to get the monkey off your back. I think a change of location may do you good, but perhaps changing your location AND the detoxing would be the best for you.

melissa1987 2012-01-06 00:24:30 -0600 Report

I was not even gonna come back on the site because of my decision, I did not want to disappoint anyone but I had to because you guys were so nice to me n I don't really have much support in my life right now, mostly put downs for past mistakes n boyfriends . I truly believe I can do this on my own but I have to get away from my sister as well because she is addicted to them also so that's why I'm trying my hardest to get back on my feet n move to Alberta n get a job. I do not want to be on these. I want to feel normal with not having anxiety . It's the worst feeling. I can't even go in malls or anything I get that bad but I think if I go to another province where there is none n I'm working I will get my self esteem back n never touch them again. If I don't end up getting a job that I pray to god I do I will go to detox. It's hard to go there when u can't smoke,straighten ur hair, wear make up n I go through a lot of anxiety coming off these benzos I can't be around anyone n I heard the place is packed but like I said if a job don't come up with in a few weeks that's where I will be going

red flower lady
red flower lady 2012-01-06 21:41:49 -0600 Report

Thank you for coming back. Please know that none of us here are judging you, but trying to help you live a long and happy and sucessful life. Alot of us maybe older, but we come with alot of experiences and love. We are trying to make you understand that it will be hard now, but so worth it when you are done. You are young and deserve to be happy and enjoy life.

Wish you well and please keep us updated<3

melissa1987 2012-01-09 00:13:30 -0600 Report

I'm scared I will never feel normal again. I don't know if you guys ever took these but the feeling when there's none in my system at all is horrible . I get that much anxiety I can't even look at anyone so I'm trying to come off them slowly. I just wish I could get rid of this anxiety I had it all my life but now it's 10 times worse now that I take these

Caroltoo 2012-01-06 11:54:21 -0600 Report

I'm glad you came back. This is a safe place to share what you feel and want. We all wish the very best for you. If you can accomplish this on your own, we will support you in that decision. If you can't, that's ok, and we will support you in detox or some therapy situation between these two options.

The bottom line here is , WE WILL SUPPORT YOU as you find your way. I think we all, you included, want the same thing for you: a happy and fulfilled life. While we may voice opinions and suggest options that come from our experiences, YOU are the only one who can make these choices.

KNOW with certainly, that we support YOU in your journey, where ever that journey takes you. Please do stay in touch as you make this journey down your path towards health.

jayabee52 2012-01-06 01:08:27 -0600 Report

I'm so glad you did come back Melissa!

I can understand the need to get away from family and your sister. (Is she your source for Benzos?) Unfortunately it is a truism: "You can run but you can't hide."

There are people where you are thinking of going who are addicted to any number of drugs, Benzos included. If you don't tackle that addiction head on, you may be setting yourself up for a fall back into them. Having worked in units like those as a CNA, I can see the safety reasons for those rules. They may seem arbitrary, but those rules are in place for YOUR personal safety and the safety of the staff and other residents. And not being able to be around "anyone" (by anyone I am guessing family and friends so you're not dragged back into the behaviors which addicted you in the first place).

I suspect if you do get the detox it would be good if you would move from the area you are living either immediately before, or immediately after the Detox. That would break the links of the chain of addiction. Many folks don't do that, and that may be why many people struggle after detoxing. They go back to the same neighborhood with the same friends & acquaintences and the pull of the addiction is there. It would definitely be good for a change of residence.

BTW: what happened with the nice young man about which you told us?

2012-01-05 17:42:32 -0600 Report

Good Luck melissa. It's all the baby steps that got you to this point. I'm proud of you. I know that U'll succeed. I'm behind ya all the way. U R extremely strong and courageous. My heart as well as all of my thoughts & prayers, are with you.

Set apart
Set apart 2012-01-05 14:56:36 -0600 Report

I agree with you James Baby Steps all the way. I still haven't given up my coffee - refuse to do so - I need it and want it. You always seems to say the right words. Thanks!

Set apart
Set apart 2012-01-05 14:53:50 -0600 Report

Melissa good for you sweetie, It seems as if in life we have to continue to make decisions that sometimes we may not be too fond of, but we know will be for the best. As a T1 I wasn't a heavy duty drinker, but definitely enjoyed weekends with a cold beer or Applebees shrimp alfredo with a tall Pina Colada. Those days are gone, it's great that you are concentrating on taking care of yourself. Sticking to your diet and no more alcohol will make you feel a lot better. Good Luck and for sure keep us updated!

berrykins0 2012-01-05 10:15:41 -0600 Report

good for you taking care your self is very important as it is but with health issues extra important cause these issues can cause more,i'm happy to hear you say this.we all get fustrated with our self or have a bad day.

realsis77 2012-01-04 10:49:27 -0600 Report

IM SOOO PROUD OF YOU!!!!!!!! good for you! I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT!! look to God he will walk you through every step, I promise!! you will be much more happier and feel so much better!! do you know alcohol is a depressant? so im sure once you detox you will be much happier!! :) God bless!! If you ever need to talk i can help. My father died of alcohol so i know a bit about it. Good luck!!

Nick1962 2012-01-04 10:19:19 -0600 Report

Congratulations Melissa on taking that positive step. No way would I ever go back to my 20’s and relive that hell, but those experiences are what shaped me to be who I am today and I really think they were necessary.
I know it might be too soon to ask about future plans, but outside of getting a job in Alberta do you have any? I assume (maybe incorrectly) you’re in Canada. Any thoughts on maybe getting a student visa and coming down to the states and going to school? We’ve got some great community colleges in my neck of the woods that really care for the students and aren’t “party central” like most universities.

Young1s 2012-01-04 08:57:35 -0600 Report

Good for you Melissa. I know how difficult a decision that was (I'm 3 months sober), but it's worth it for numerous reasons. I'm happy you've decided that your health and life are more important than any addiction. And I'm here if you ever want to talk privately about what your going through. Be blessed.

valentine lady
valentine lady 2012-01-03 18:19:25 -0600 Report

Melissa: I knew there was more to it than just depression and diabetes, but it's one of those things you just can't come out and ask. (although I started to) I want you to know how happy and thrilled I am for you that your making this step. I've been to re-hab for drugs and alcohol, so I know all the feelings your feeling now. So to speak, been there done that. Just keep in mind that everyone there is there for the same reason you are and their just as afraid as you are. It's a big life change. I've been clean and sober since 1990. Never once have I slipped back. You can do it too, I know you can. You already made the biggest step of all, you made the decision to quit and you did. The rest is not going to be a cake walk, that's for sure, but the hardest is over. If ever you need to talk just look me up, I'm here for you, always. Hugs to you,
Valentine Lady

melissa1987 2012-01-03 15:09:31 -0600 Report

Thanks guys for all ur support! I contacted 2 detox centers and should be getting in soon and they also said they help with rehab after that. I've never been there b4 so kinda nervous but I need the help n I'm not giving up :) take care guys

red flower lady
red flower lady 2012-01-05 20:34:50 -0600 Report

Way to go sweetie, Go in with an open mind and take advantage of all they have to offer. It is a big step and may will be challenging but don't give up. We are all proud of you and here for you<3 See, 2012 is looking up already!

Caroltoo 2012-01-03 15:21:14 -0600 Report

Those are BIG steps you are taking and I'm thrilled to hear that you are actually already working on them. It's one thing to plan and hope and wish AND quite another to get out there and do it like you are!!


Old-n-Grey-n-Wiser 2012-01-03 13:49:57 -0600 Report

Wonderful news, but be prepared to find a new and better circle of friends to surround yourself with, my nephew's sister in law never learned this and continues to go in and out of rehab. I know it will not be easy but it is for the best, you have too much going for you than a life off disrespect, drugs or booze.

melissa1987 2012-01-03 15:41:09 -0600 Report

That's why I am trying to go to rehab after detox. I don't really have a circle of friends that r into them. Only my sister but I was hooked for years I wouldn't waste my time going if I was gonna start up again. I just want to feel normal n have my old life back n go out west. Thanks again guys don't know what I would of done with out the support cuz I don't get much home just thing thrown in my face. After this I plan on getting a job in Alberta n moving away from my family.

Old-n-Grey-n-Wiser 2012-01-03 16:01:22 -0600 Report

I think you have the right plans and out look! Hang with us until you go into Detox. Then when you are allowed to drop in and say "HI":)

pixsidust 2012-01-03 11:10:43 -0600 Report

After three weeks of detoxing my sisters cravings came back
Just be aware of that and take control the best you can
should that occur with you.

Try your best to remove yourself from any people
and situations that are tempting.
If your parents drink then maybe you could influence
them toward a better life.

I realize you are probably in no way an alcoholic
But in the effort to see that you have support
counseling and care without cost
See what AA groups there are near you geared for your age

See what churches have active youth and young adult ministries
Don't be turned off if you see hypocrites there
They need help the most!

Remember you are wonderfully and beautifully made
and we love you and are PROUD of YOU!

jayabee52 2012-01-03 03:03:32 -0600 Report

Please keep us updated Melissa! I am also proud of you ! You are a definitely worthwhile person! One thing I want to caution you is not to try to take on too much all at once.

Detoxing and not drinking (alcohol) would be good starting points IMO. Trying to do TOO much too quickly may burn out even the most committed and determined person. We can only handle so much change at a time, and then our bodies/minds seem to shut down on us.

Baby steps, melissa! Take baby steps

Praying for your success!

To your better health!


Caroltoo 2012-01-02 23:02:21 -0600 Report

This is wonderful, Melissa. I'm glad you have chosen detox. For you, with your motivtion, it will be good. I'm proud of you and your choices. Carol