encouraging new diagnosed man to follow Drs. orders.

Mr. TL Johnson
By Mr. TL Johnson Latest Reply 2012-01-17 20:39:38 -0600
Started 2012-01-01 21:52:37 -0600

My Husband was just diagnosed on the 23 of Dec and of course we have had the Holidays to begin trying to begin a new way of thinking and eatting. He doesnt understand the importance of cutting out many carbs or the portion control. I am a Nurse and work with Gestational diabetic Moms often but he doesnt want to hear advice from me. How can I encourage him without driving him away from what he should be doing?

10 replies

trc0705 2012-01-17 20:39:38 -0600 Report

In life when we go through tramatic experiences, we will go through a process that some might say is a greiving process. With recent news of him being diabetic he may just need some time to process it. Perhaps just let him have some time and keep an open mind and an understanding ear for him. He will eventually come around.

Another thing is being that you are married to him, he may just need to hear it from his friends right now, because you are so close to him. Perhaps that would make it easier for both of you.

I would encourage him to do his own research on diabetes or hand him some information that he can read when he is ready.

I wish both of you the best of luck. Take care.

pixsidust 2012-01-03 11:34:49 -0600 Report

Sounds like he is not doing much if he does not understand.
I think he understands and refuses to comply is the real issue

I would say to pass the buck to someone else
Set him up with a Dietitian or have his Doctor to do so.
Sometimes people need to hear it from someone not so close to themselves. Men generally do not like to be told what to do, so let a third party do that.

Pack the house full of treats he can have such as sugar free chocolate pudding cups, apple slices with cinnamon, Russell Stover sugar free candy Bars etc.. If you cook or have a family let everyone get on his meal plan. Convert the cabinets and have the treats plentiful. I would just do it without asking him or directing comments to him.

If you give him reading material on Diabetes
make sure its written easy to read for a lay person
Dorling Kindersley is a Publishing House OR Called DK
My favorite book is a DK book called
"Type 2 Diabetes Your Questions Answered"
The chapters are short, 1-4 pages with glossy pictures
and easy to read a little and not feel like you
are beating your brains out to understand a medical dictionary.
Leave it where ever he reads, the kitchen table
or on the table by the chair he watches TV.

See what classes your local hospital offers
Hopefully eventually he will embrace a healthy life style
I am glad he is lucky enough to have your love and concern
Stay strong yourself and God bless you

Nick1962 2012-01-02 16:24:02 -0600 Report

Everyone so far has made some great suggestions, and I follow most of them myself in my own personal battle. The only thing I might add is to give him a little space and time right now. It’s only been less than two weeks since he’s been dx’d, and even though this will affect the whole family, it’s still going to be his personal battle. He needs time to wrap his head around it.
Also, he wants to be your husband, not your patient, and as qualified and well meaning as you are, he already knows he has to make some lifestyle changes. If he wants guidance, let him ask. You could go with the horror stories, but it'd probably just sound like hounding right now to him.
You can be supportive by cooking (if you’re the cook) in a way that better suits his new lifestyle, and by slowly using up and removing the bad foods from the house.
I’ve often found that spouses rarely listen to each other in these matters – I lost 90 lbs. and my wife watched me do it, but no way, no how will she ever come to me for advice on weight loss. Maybe instead of guiding him, ask him how his research and plan is developing. Find out was HIS plans are and support those (if reasonable). But above all, give him a little time yet.
There is that fragile male ego at work here.

realsis77 2012-01-02 15:53:46 -0600 Report

wow you know better than most what CAN and WILL happen if he will not control his sugar.This is a tough one. If he is not willing to listen to you you can give examples of what happens. You can use my good friend as an example if you wish, his name was Quinten. He went blind, lost his left leg and finally lost his kidney function. We lost Quinten two years ago. Due to complications. This is a REAL story and a REAL person. I hope this story can touch your husband and make him realize what is at stake here!! I wish you the best and God bless!!

red flower lady
red flower lady 2012-01-02 16:31:16 -0600 Report

So sorry to hear about your friend, but if one person can learn from your story then something good came out of it. Thanks for sharing.

berrykins0 2012-01-02 11:24:59 -0600 Report

explain him the complations of diabetes and how they can make your life miserable if he doesn't take control of his diabets. its no fun in life without sight or feet to do the things you love to do. thats my thereory. take care

Caroltoo 2012-01-01 23:59:38 -0600 Report

Kevin's idea is a good one. Numbers externalize the situation, so it's no longer a judgement, it is a fact.

Also, instead of telling him in a way that seems like giving advice (it's your profession, so maybe in this situation he feels threatened or inferior because of your knowledge), try joining with him in this situation.

As Ben said earlier today, this is now a diabetic house. If eating in this manner is good for him, it is also good for you (and maybe you are doing this). Both of you eat the same meal.

Some other slight of hand might help set you two up for success: serve the plates in the kitchen rather than have serving dishes on the table. Something I've done, is to use a smaller size plate. Even seconds on a smaller size plate will be less than two of our dinner sized plates.

Yes, he needs to understand the consequences and, perhaps, as Kevin has suggested, he may "see it more clearly" when he can see the numbers change on the monitor. Denial is a typical part of grieving, so encourage him, help him have opportunities where he can succeed, but give him time to process his grief and loss. We all do it a little differently.

Kirla 2012-01-01 23:04:24 -0600 Report

Seeing is believing. You can always test his blood sugar before he eats and then again one hour after eating a meal with bread, pasta or potatoes. It should be enough when he sees how high his blood sugar goes after eating a high carb meal. I was diagnosed with blood sugar in the 300-400 range and A1C of 14.1. By testing before and after each meal I soon was able to determine how high carb starchy foods were spiking my blood sugar. By eliminating high carb starchy foods I was able to quit meds after 7 weeks and have been meds free for over 2 ½ years now. Blood sugar only took about 4-6 weeks to approach normal numbers and all my A1C’s since the 14.1 have been 6 or less for 2 ½ years now.

Good luck

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