What happens if u shoot all ur insulin?

By melissa1987 Latest Reply 2012-01-04 23:35:02 -0600
Started 2011-12-30 19:21:43 -0600

Will you die?

27 replies

huffer 2012-01-04 09:00:10 -0600 Report

Simply, good chance but DO NOT. Why let a disease control you? We all have become discouraged at one time or another,but the fact that you have 2 children should overpower this feeling. I suffered through the same emotions several years ago 2 kids one with severe birth defects and hundreds of thousands dollars in debt- those kids kept me alive and with the help of a great minister, I struggled through. Now 48 years later I do not let things get control of my emotions, my profile is not pretty and would drive anyone nuts, I reach out to others with the same circumstances and try to show them that if I can make it so can they. My life is very rich, my kids grown and very successful, and my God is letting me continue working with all my friends.
Wouldn't it be great when you are my age to look back and see how truly great life has been for you. Hang in there Melissa - ask for help and turn to prayer. Remember - we are all here for you!

JSJB 2012-01-03 05:35:06 -0600 Report

Melissa please do not give up hope. Thin of watching those two little boys grow up. There is hope out there. Get that help and keep us up to date.

melissa1987 2012-01-03 00:55:24 -0600 Report

You guys r great people! I was hurting bad n still am but I am gonna get the help I need. I never thought there was anyone that would understand or be there with out judging me. I pray every night to god that he will help me get through this battle and I think he came to me n made me think straight. I am going to get help n then I'm going to try to go in rehab but I don't know if that will happen because I don't have the money to pay for it. I'm working out everyday now but for some reason having a hard time waking up in the mornings that I need to work on because I am supposed to be taking my insulin in the am n at supper time n I'm not. I'm taking it at 12 or 1 in the afternoon n at supper. I'm not sure if that matters but I'm pretty sure your supposed to take it at the same time everyday right? Thank u guys for all the support. You wouldn't believe how much it helped! I'll keep in touch n take care guys

Caroltoo 2012-01-03 01:07:54 -0600 Report

Yes, you need to be regular in your meals and your insulin. Also, too long in between insulin and a meal can give you a huge low! Maybe that was part of what was happening a few days ago.

Melissa, this is a courageous decision. I am very proud of you for making it! It will positively effect the rest of your life. You have done well in choosing to seek the help you need. It will still be work; it won't be easy, but it will change your life for the better. Please do stay in touch.

Uncle Lew
Uncle Lew 2012-01-02 09:42:12 -0600 Report

Yes, you will die Melissa. Overdosing on insulin will cause you to start shaking, get the cold sweats, your vision will blur, you will become disoriented, slip into a coma and die. It may sound like an alternative to living but it sucks. While all this is occurring you will realize you do not want to die but you will be in such a state that you cannot help yourself. Your last thoughts will be of helplessness, panic, fear and regret. Instead relief and euphoria your final experience will be pain.
We with diabetes all live in a world that sucks but with a little (sometimes a lot) of work we find a good, happy, enjoyable life. We are all human and thought at one time or another that giving up is easier that facings diabetes. Anyone that tells you they never had these dark thoughts is either a liar, is in denial or suffering from delusions.
I have created a notebook of personal motivational aids. I wrote the following in March of 2010 when I felt really low and tired of all the crap I have to endure:
The War Rages!
I am locked in mortal combat with diabetes.
It is a life long struggle.
There will never be a truce.
And I will not surrender.
If I lose a battle I lick my wounds, and then, like a wounded animal, I strike back with a new, more vicious ferocity.
And with each battle I win I am that much closer to a longer,
more enjoyable life.

Remember Mellisa we are here for you. We all have had these thoughts many times over. We know your pain. Don’t feel afraid to talk to us. You will find out that you are not alone having many friends here with the same experiences and thoughts you have.

red flower lady
red flower lady 2012-01-02 14:25:12 -0600 Report

Wonderful post. That is one of the things about being a diabetic, our moods travel faster then we do. Knowing that is one step closer to gaining some control.

valentine lady
valentine lady 2012-01-01 16:58:03 -0600 Report

Dear Melissa: I'm not here to lecture you or tell you what you need to do. You already know you need help. I read some of the posts to you and I agree completly with all they had to say, espically Dr. Gary and Caroltoo. I have Clinical Depression and I have no shame from it at all. I've been on medication since 1984. I would never go back in that hole again. I think of depression as a deep dark hole that you can't crawl out of alone. You need someone to throw you a rope. We can only suggest what you should do, you actually need that person with the rope. As for when you were healthy and your family was proud of you. Get well, mentally, grab ahold of the diabetes and kick it in the butt. Show the Big D who's boss, because you can be. Make your family proud again…what's not to be proud of now. Your a beautiful young woman, with so much to live for, so go for it. Happy New Year to you. I wish for you in 2012, Love, Hope, Support, Strength, and above all Peace.
Hugs to you, Valentine Lady

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2011-12-31 19:49:15 -0600 Report

Hi Melissa,

You certainly have some concerned friends here on Diabetic Connect, who have have really shown their support. I want to be a member of the team.

I just want to add that if you are feeling hopeless, it's really important to reach out to a mental health professional. Let your doctor know how you're feeling and ask for help. Calll the local mental health resources in your area. Or check with your insurance company and ask t be connected with a mental health professional. Depression is treatable. Don't go through this alone.

Stay in touch with your friends!


judy makowski
judy makowski 2011-12-31 19:22:36 -0600 Report

Melissa I saw your post and it set of some flags in me. Then as I read the responses of people who care for you I knew I had come to the right thought about your posting. It sounds as if you are in a really down place right now and in that frame of mind please don't make any permanent decisions. (Unless its to get help for your depression) I have been through this with my daughter and she is finally starting to believe in herself and forging a life with someone who cares for her and is not using her. She didn't realize it at the time but she always picked the guys that would hurt her . Somewhere inside herself she knew what she was doing and that only made her feel worse.

You have a lot going for you. Every life is valuable. It's ok to think the thoughts, they will come as you have found out> But the problem comes when you make plans on how you are going to do it. Then it is an emergency and you need to get help.

There are lots of people on you side Please try to focus on that when things get tough and remember how much your nephews love you.

jayabee52 2012-01-03 05:03:14 -0600 Report

havent heard much from you lately, Judy! Glad to see you posting again here.

judy makowski
judy makowski 2012-01-03 10:25:45 -0600 Report

Thanks Jaybee how are you doing?

jayabee52 2012-01-04 01:26:09 -0600 Report

well enough Judy. I am trying to get my kidney numbers closer to where I should be with them.

I had started in Feb 2011 with a new eating plan which manages my diabetes without the use of diabetes meds with success at keeping my BG levels around the NORMAL range and my May 2011 A1c = 5.5 and I lost about 50 lbs too.

Now if I can rework my eating plan to give my kidneys a rest and revitlize so I stay away from dialysis again I will be golden. And I may have a new lady friend, so things are looking up on that score also.

Hope to see you popping back in and posting more, Judy!

judy makowski
judy makowski 2012-01-04 06:45:02 -0600 Report

So glad you are doing well. Congratulations on your lady friend. What eating plan did you use to get your sugars down? I really do hope you are able to revitalize your kidneys. I have never been on dialysis but I can only try to imagine what it must have been like.

I thought my sugar was going to be high this morning because I ate an apple and a sandwich before bed last nigt but it was 74. I just don't get it.

God bless and have a great day

pixsidust 2011-12-31 14:23:23 -0600 Report

Your worth is not determined by the acceptance or attitudes of anyone else. When someone is rude, shuns you, makes you feel left out, less than others, unable to compete, not good enough or that there is something wrong with you…remember this. Before you were born God knew every hair on your head. He made you beautiful, bright and personable. He loved you enough to ensure you a destiny in Heaven should you accept Christ as Saviour. You are his daughter

He gave all of us free will so the world is very imperfect and people act without care and thought…but does that mean you are without value if they are selfish or uncaring? No. For each will answer for their actions as we all will. Anyone who does this is not worthy of you. It is their lack and their problem. See yourself above all that is negative.

I do not know what Gods plan is for you but if you seek it and him, you will find it and it may be a day by day thing. All that happens in this world is not meant to be and is not blessed by God. You are never meant to be hurt. God gave each of us choice and many choose wrong thus we have war and hurtful words, stealing and lying. That does not mean God does not love you. He loves you more than I. If I was told I must sacrifice my son on a cross to save anyone. I would say forget it. My son comes first. Good thing for us that was not the situation!

Melissa in time, there will be someone who loves you and calls you his bride. Until then do not waste your heart on anyone along the way. Never on someone who does not treat you with tender loving respect.

Take time and just grow up. Do well on your studies. That is your future for doors to open for college and a career. Do not seek love in the arms of a teenage boy that can not be counted on. Save yourself…Treat yourself as the daughter of a King…Jesus

FYI You are stunningly beautiful

melissa1987 2011-12-30 23:06:13 -0600 Report

Thank you…means Alot having you guys for support. As much as I would like to do it, I have 2 beautiful nephews that I think the world of n every time I think about I think of how my nephew felt when we lost our dog. It's just hard sometimes when I look at my life now n how I was doing so good a few years ago n had no health problems or any of these issues n my parents were proud of me. I'll get through it as hard as it is right now. I'm seeing a really good guy right now n he's a type 1 like me but it's so complicated because we both don't have our own places so barely get to see each other. He's actually way to good for me n I know everyone says no 1s to good for you but this guy is n he don't have a clue about my issues only that I'm a diabetic. I'm so glad I have you guys to talk too. I broke down when I read this post. My depression seems to be getting worse but I don't want to be in a hospital. Well Happy New Year to you Caroltoo n best wishes in 2012

Organic1der 2012-01-03 07:29:08 -0600 Report

Hello Melissa. As an adult who was abused as a child, I went to a psychiatrist when I was 17 for bouts with depression. I found the most useful thing to do when I was in your situation, was to sit down and look at what I wanted to do career-wise, see what skills I lacked, then enrolled in a school after having the college help me obtain the necessary financing. I created my very first "positive" goal which really meant a lot to me. Then I found that I was too sedetary so I tried to look in my community for things that I could do without feeling "pressured" or "anxiety" like simply attending a church sermon on Sunday mornings…providing the opportunity for me to meet other women in my community…swapping recipes, etc. That gave me something to look forward to each week along with the school. I found that I really enjoyed skating and roller-blading during the good weather outdoors which was something I could do by myself while listening to music that was upbeat and inspired me to be active. Eventually, I added some exercise routines at home (in private). I began this process when I was 5'3" tall and weighed 350 pounds. I'm now 5'3" tall weigh in at 190 pounds. I'm a type 2 diabetic and hate taking medicine as well as limiting myself where food is concerned. It's hard battling depression as it seems like everyone doesn't understand. It means a lot when you find people that do not judge you and really do understand how you feel. Try writing down some goals to get you started to where you want to be in 6 months, 1 year, 1 1/2 years, 2 years, 2 1/2 years and the steps you need to take to get you to each one of them. Then write down some things that you like to do. Have your man do the same with the list, this way you can arrange to do the things you have in common together…and find a partner to do the others with…or plan to do by yourself. I understand how you feel. Please feel free to write me anytime. I hope this advice will help you like it has helped me.

Caroltoo 2011-12-30 23:36:47 -0600 Report


I am relieved to hear your response. Depression doesn't mean you need hospitalization, but suicidal thoughts may.

The depth of your depression makes it important that you do something to make the depression better NOW, before it gets any worse. Seeing a doctor and starting anti-depressants is a way of dealing with the intensity of the feelings right now. It gives you time to resolve some issues and begin to heal.

Usually, when anything starts to get better in a person's life, the world looks brighter and it's easier to begin to see hope. I'm glad to hear there are also bright spots in your life. Try to stay focused on those while you work on healing the more painful issues. Thinking about your two little nephew and their pain in losing their dog will help you to imagine their pain if they were to lose you! It would be so much more!!

Please do talk with a doctor about treating your depression. I believe you are correct when you say it is getting worse. You really don't have to stay in such a deeply negative place when there are ways to deal with it.

Melissa, you have found people on the website, myself included, who care about you. Some of us are miles away like me in Hawaii or closer like Tom in Vermont, but regardless of distance, we still care about you. I think, perhaps, your biggest challenge is going to be for you to realize what a lovely person you are and come to care about yourself and to realize you deserve to have others care for and about you.

You said you cried when you read my message to you. You cried because you could feel in my words that I was also crying for you. Your life is just too precious to throw it away over issues that you can resolve. You don't see the solution right now, but you will find it. Hold on that hope. You are going to have to work to make it happen, but you can do it.


Caroltoo 2011-12-30 20:15:51 -0600 Report


In your last post you stated that you have nothing to live for and listed a number of really sad things that have happened recently in your life: no education, no job, abusive boyfriends, no kids, being a drug addict, and your parents not caring about your health at all. I agree, this is a crummy place to be and I know it hurts to feel so helpless and victimized.

Explore just a little with me: once you are dead, there is nothing, no way to make things better and, as a result, you loose all of the potentially wonderful experiences that will happen in your life in the future. OK, no pain for the moment, but no joy in the future either.

In brief, the answer to your question is that you are most likely to end up in extreme pain and possibly cause serious brain damage. That's nothing to look forward to. It's more like asking for a crippled future, to make today's pain less. It's a short sighted way to consider this problem.

What about the beautiful young woman I see on your profile picture who, if she stuck around and continued to try to make the changes that need to happen, could become happy, drug free, have a loving boyfriend, and adoring children? She wouldn't be able to exist if you make the choice you are considering making today.

Maybe you don't care about yourself right at the moment. Do you care about the friends you have made her on diabetic connect? Do you know how guilty and sad we would feel if you decided to try to take your life? Do you want that for all of us? Your parents, through pain of their own, may be lost to you…I don't know, but you have a lot of other people who do CARE about you and what happens to you.

For the immediate, I hope you will call emergency services and get some help. You don't believe it now, but you have a life ahead of you that IS worth saving.

Once you get past the immediate crisis, I hope that you will go into drug rehab and get that monkey off your back too. Diabetes is enough to deal with, but it is something you CAN deal with. Drug use just complicates the process.

When you are clean and sober is time to look for a job to support yourself and new friends who will love you for being a new you and who will support you in your new healthy lifestyle. New friends will lead to new relationships and someone who will love and value you for the beautiful person you are and the one you will become.

Give yourself the chance to find out what good things lie in store for you in the rest of your life. For now, take it on faith because your friend, Carol said so: there are good things in the future, but you need to stay alive long enough to find them. Please call for help now.

I want to be able to talk with you tomorrow and a lot of days throughout next year. I want to hear about your successes and your loving boyfriends and eventually about your babies. Don't leave us, Melissa. We need you.

Poppop1961 2011-12-31 02:49:38 -0600 Report

You know you have everything to live for. I did see the pic with you and your 2 sons. You are a beautiful woman. You have 2 beautiful sons that would be lost for the rest of there lives with out you. I have been where you are now. I have been one insulin from the syart in 1999 and was on the put for a reay and a half starting in 2000. Now I am back on the pump and I love it. Trust me I didn't have a choice on trying the pill and hate giving myself shots. But if I want to watch my grandkids get older and have kids then thats what I have to do. As for the drug problem, I have been there to. I know you can get through this. We all love you and want you to get the help you need. Maybe if your family see's you are getting help, then maybe they will help you. It does not hurt to ask for there help in finding a good rehab. But you have to ask. Also The Jesus said he will help us but all we have to do is ask him for help and guidance to show you the way. Remember what I said, you are Beautiful and the boy's and all of us need you. All Our Love. Keith. :)

Set apart
Set apart 2012-01-01 07:19:23 -0600 Report

Melissa, I can relate to what you are going through, I did pretty good through Christmas all the traditional food around me as a Hispanic woman I never realized how many traditional recipes are part of our holiday, and everyone else's. By New Years I wanted it all gone, clean it up and out of the way, I didn't give in. I woke up today with a 196 BG and thought why, my body was so healthy 4 months ago and now it feels weird all the time. Do I take insulin how much, Drs say I will be my own guinea pig, easy for them to say they don't know what a high or low feels like. Like you Melissa I feel down, but life has so much in store for us, we are strong and we have God on our side. Lately that little sneak Satan has been carefully making me feel bad. Today Melissa as the New Year starts I don't want to be a T1' but I am and I won't be defeated, will exercise and watch everything that I eat! Melissa you are special for God has plans for you and don't ever think you are not worthy! keep your head up high as I will and become the master of your life, seek help just yo vent and continue to stay in touch!