I know what my main stress factors is in my life. The crap my family believes I should take care, deal with and etc for them. They are the major stress factors in my life. If I was bold enough, I would tell them. Yet I know it would go thru one ear and out the other. So I am doing the best I can coping with it til I can finish school and then get a job. After that, I dont care really. I am doing my best to find the silver lining behing everything. They treat me like crap with no respect. Yet DEMAND it and I had best do as they say or its Chaos H*ll here for me. Sort of like getting punished for NOT doing as they DEMAND. Then they threaten me in various ways. Well guess what people? I aint doing what you DEMAND nor when and etc. Its not my screw ups that is my priority. My life is my PRIOTY! My health, happiness and moving forward. They talk of what I should do and etc. Mainly its for their benefit. Well I am not doing it. They arent my parents. Besides my mother is dead! Yes I know my mistakes and have apologized for them. Its up to those who I offended to accept the apology. If they dont its on them not me anymore. Their emergency isnt my prioty. Now going to let them find out what happens when you do X Y Z and PDQ for I am done. I am going to find my life, make it happen, make myself better and happier for me. I dont want love if it comes with demands and lack of respect. I dont want a family if there are strings that they can pull and expect me to jump thru their loops and etc like at a circus. I dont want chaos nor anything else from them. Now they will learn. For I am bound and determined to do what I must for me. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. How much longer can I hold on? As long as it takes. Of course if someone threatens my life and ends up killing me cause of whatever that I cant change. Yet I can make sure not to aggravigate or upset that person(s). They dont realize when I start my new life, I am leaving them behind. They want to be there, then you will do so on my terms for my health and happiness. Get over yourself and be happy. That is what I have done and now moving on.
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