This has nothing to do with diabetes but I needed my DC family to know about what I feel is a great accomplishment in my life.
Hi! My name is Patricia and I am an alchoholic.
Today I am officially 60 days sober. I never thought I would be able to hold out this long. For many years I have been a drinker but I started getting worse over the past 10 years or so. I have been through hell and back because of my addiction. From black-outs and waking up in unfamiliar places, to arrests, to ending up in the hospital, due to pancreatitis flare-ups, more times than I can count. I have put my poor family through so much heartache and pain over the years, it is trully unforgivable. But they kept by my side through it all and I thank God daily for that.
The last time I ended up in the hospital, this past September, was the day after my last drink. I found out that my pancreatitis was so severe and my body was so deficient of vital nutrients, that they didn't think I would pull through this time. My body was shutting down on me. On top of all that, I was told that I now have diabetes. I took all this as a sign from my body. It was telling me that it was time to quit or die. Well I love life and am not about to let that happen if I can help it. And I can. So but by the Grace of God I pulled through my ordeal in the hospital and started living my life in a whole new way.
This has been one of the hardest things I have ever done. I have tried to quit in the past but only made it to about a month. Then I would think "It's been a good little while. I can just have a couple every once and a while". Of course that always led back to going through a liter of booze in a day, every day. But not anymore.
I have made it this far by taking better care of myself from the inside out. From the foods I eat, to the medications I now must take. I also go to meetings whenever possible, I'm seeing an addiction therapist weekly, getting tremendous support from my family, and lots and lots of prayer. It feels good to wake up with a clear head and to be able to look my family and friends in the face knowing that I am in my right mind.
I don't miss the hangovers, the morning puke sessions, the days of not caring about whether I ate or not just as long as I can get a drink, none of that. But I do miss the taste and I struggling every day to fight the urge to drink. Especially since I am surrounded by liquor stores and my husband still drinks. But I am sober, still. Recently though, I have been dreaming about drinking. This is particularly disturbing to me because sometimes my dreams have a way of coming true. I don't want that to happen but I can't say that it won't with any great confidence yet. So it is my daily prayer for the strenghth of will to continue to resist the urges.
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