Kicking ourselves when things are out of control!!

By roshy Latest Reply 2012-01-23 09:22:41 -0600
Started 2011-12-01 18:25:53 -0600

I have done this on many occasions! when ive huge spikes after a meal or a snack, when i have forgotten to test my sugars and 6 hours later they are as high as a kite!!! but i read some comments on a different blog recently and someone was kicking themselves over having a spike after a latte!!! this made me think!!!!
As diabeitcs who have to adhere to our condition everyday and take so much into consideration, carb counting, exercise, insulin admission and multipul daily blood sugar readings, it is sooooo easy to let things that get out of control or slip but adding this blame and kicking yourself does you no good and i think when you find yourself doing this you need to remember, Hey, im only human!!!"

Dont be beating yourself up guys when some things accidently slip up!!! no one else around you beats themselves up when they decide to have a latte!!! in fact i think you should be giving yourself a pat on the back for actually caring so much about your control!!! its inspiring!!

so i hope some people can relate to this because this internal blame game is very damaging on a persons mental health!! i think it has the potential to effect your quality of life and its something which we should be aware of!!!!!

16 replies

Young1s 2011-12-02 11:09:29 -0600 Report

You couldn't be more right. I just finished telling one of my friends here that I am feeling a little sluggish today after eating my breakfast. My hubby brought home some pancakes and a sausage from McDonald's for me before he headed off to work. My levels went from 114 fasting to 225 at my mid-morn check, I kid you not. Now I could be down about this for the rest of the day or I can (and will) take the necessary steps to try to get it back down as quickly as possible. Trust me when I say, my eyes are so heavy right now that all I want to do is crawl back into bed and call it a day, but that wouldn't help me in the least so I won't. And to think, I almost didn't take my morning Met today. So glad I did.

jayabee52 2011-12-02 10:27:27 -0600 Report

Thank you for your kind and wise words Roisen!

So very true what you say. But it is not only People with diabetes (PWDs) who beat themselves up over little things like that.

I know, for my first (now ex) wife used to beat herself up over the smallest mistake or problem.

But your point about PWDs is well taken. When I was first on DC I used to do the same thing too. Now I have learned that "stuff happens" and sometimes it is out of my control. If it was within my control I try to learn from it and do better the next go-round. We are all in a learning process, even those of us who have had it for a good number of years.

I also want to commend for your consideration a recent post by Gabby: "Diabetes Learning Curve" ( )
I think she puts it well as regarding the attitude we all may like to adopt regarding out life with diabetes.

In fact, her discussion was sparked by much the same concern as yours Roisen. Thank you!


JoleneAL 2011-12-02 06:27:10 -0600 Report

I have made myself physically sick over worrying if I'm up or down. It effects me mentally at times. Right now I'm fighting the local, yearly, crud going around so I'm in a double panic about my levels. I wish I could just tell myself "stop - do your best, deal with it and LIVE" —- but right now my brain won't do it LOL

I keep telling myself - you have the means to correct anything, just enjoy and get better.

Okay God - I threw it out there — please help us all to stay healthy during this cold/flu season?

Mickey/CCHT 2011-12-01 23:12:49 -0600 Report

I'm SO with you on this! I actually just posted on a discussion about not beating yourself up if you slip. We are all human. I know I'm not perfect. When I had a meltdown at work and ended up drinking a can of pop, afterward when things were calm, I started to get mad at myself about it. Then I made myself stop and think. The damage had been done, so what good would freaking out over it do? I try not to let myself be put in that position again so I'm not tempted to slip up. But in the future if I do, I will just pull myself up and continue the fight!

We all have to be more loving and considerate to ourselves and cut ourselves some slack once in awhile. Perfection died on the cross for us.

Blessings, Mickey

MattyF 2011-12-02 07:25:44 -0600 Report

For me it was even worse! I had my meltdown in January of this year after almost ten years of frustration. I quit taking my meds, threw my hands up in the air and congratulated my Diabetes on winning the war. Took up drinking. Drank the hard stuff till the liquor cabinet ran out (took a couple of months), then switched to beer. Bad scene. My A1C was a monstrosity. My level was 385 at the time of testing. Urinalysis verified the facts. I didnt even know this until almost 8 months later because I didn't care enough to get the results of the labs, which were back in May.

I took control on Tuesday of this week. Tomorrow I go to the doctor and get my head handed to me. The saddest part of this is that doctors, even endocrinologists don't know how to treat, or how to live with this disease. So I'll be yelled at by a guy who hasn't walked in my shoes.


Mickey/CCHT 2011-12-02 18:21:29 -0600 Report

I understand what you are saying about the docs not walking in your shoes. When he starts to lecture, I would just remind him that that is counter productive and you are here now trying to walk the right path. I think people forget that just cuz your doctor has a degree, he works for you. You know what I mean? Yelling or lecturing does no good, makes me want to run in the other direction! Had a doctor before that I had to tell to back off! Thank God the doctor I have now is so wonderful. When I was being bad, she just gave me the look! Can't argue with the look!
Try not to let them get you down. You already have that going on and you are trying to do the right thing now. Be a warrior with us in this war. We always need another to help fight the fight. Since you are already here, I hope that is a sign you want to fight? Peace my fellow warrior.

jayabee52 2011-12-02 18:56:14 -0600 Report

I had a brother in law who owned a shirt that had a cartoon of a turkey sitting on a man and it said "Don't let the turkeys get you down". That memory just got triggered.

Skymom26 2011-12-02 17:00:11 -0600 Report

So why don't you tell him you have made some bad choices and now you are ready to move in a positive direction and you would appreciate his help. Then if he starts yelling you can know well this guy has issues too. Just listen nod and nod your head. You don't have to debate his remarks you already told him you were wrong. But when he begins to help you better listen.
JOY, SkyMom

Caroltoo 2011-12-02 12:18:57 -0600 Report

Matty, this or something similar has happened to most of us. It is extremely frustrating to try and try and not see the results we want. Our bodies are a very complex miracle with so many puzzling interactions. It's complicated and, I think, very different for each of us. We can't understand it all. I, too, wish my doctor had understood more, but after I got over being upset with him, I decided to find out for myself. I tested and watched and tried new things until I found what worked for me. This decision you have made this last Tuesday is one that will effect your life from this time forward. Your doc may not believe that for a while. That's ok, he's seen people fail before, but you can stay with it now and prove him wrong. It will be good for you and your health and it will also feel good to be able to go back to him and say: SEE, I DID IT, just like I said I would!

GabbyPA 2011-12-02 09:00:59 -0600 Report

I think this is why we are so critical of our mess ups because we know the doctors are going to be upset. I find I want to hide from my doctor when I have not met my goals of weight loss or better numbers. I try to talk to him, and he listens okay, but it always ends up back at the same old thing...loose weight and it will fix things. That is not really all true, but because that is what he believes, I get discouraged when I know I have not lost weight, even if my numbers have been good. It is hard to be Perfect!! LOL

Caroltoo 2011-12-02 11:11:29 -0600 Report

Yes, Gabby, it's impossible to be perfect. We have to accept ourselves and try to positively shape our outcomes, if we don't want to become negative, critical, and demoralize ourself and others.

SCLWKR 2011-12-02 11:41:57 -0600 Report

Matty, thank you for sharing the struggles you have encountered. This is very powerful and I know many will benefit from your journey. I, too, "fell off the D compliance wagon" about 1 year ago. Eating what ever I wanted: massive quantities of food, cake, cookies and candy. I ignored what I knew to be true about the consequences of D and just did what I wanted to do. Because my D was raging, I lost weight and felt good about my figure.
My A1c also was off the charts once I got to the Doc 6 weeks ago. Matty, It is now time to forget about the last year. No more self recriminations, don't beat yourself up any longer. Focus forward. Look to the power you have to make changes that support your passion for life and your desire to live well and live long. Please keep in touch and let me know how your doctor's visit goes.
As far as the medical profession, you are right, they don't often experience the ailments of their pateints. However, their role is still vital. As a professional social worker, one of my tasks is to seek out resources and make connections in the community that will best serve my clients. You are doing the right thing by reaching out to DC. Ask your doc about classes with D educators and nutritionists. There are many moving parts dealing with this disease and it is necessary for us to put all these parts together for our long term health and well being. I recognise the view esposed by the 12-step community of addicts treating addicts (regarding your comment about the doc not having walked in your shoes). Put this viewpoint aside, as although the 12-step program is wide spread, it is not necessary the most successful model. Use the expretise of your doc for the medical piece, and continue to look for other resources to support you in managing your condition. Keep me posted on your progress! ((Hugs)) Sherrie

roshy 2011-12-02 12:02:10 -0600 Report

i can relate to some of your experiences, all the blame and out of control eating and not beong able to get a good grasp of it. I think its important to learn form these experiences and put thme behind us and take control over ourr future instead of blaming ourselves constantly on our distructive behavour in the past because you cant change it.

as a teen i went through this phase of internal blame, resentment and guilt and then to top it all off terrible fear on the consequences its going to have on my future!! but when i reflect on this i need to think that everything i went through wasnt easy for anyone to cope with and now im wiling to do better because over time you do come to terms with it, so i guess with age and experience comes maturity !!
But i hid from doctors and lied terribly back then, now that im open and willing to take their advise into consideration they are wiling to work with me so i can achieve better control. your right, they are vital and we do need to listen to them, no matter how unempathic or unexperienced in living with the condition they are the ones who we run to when the shit hits the fan!!!

glad to others everyone can relate to this issue!!!

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