Where to start

By TsalagiLenape Latest Reply 2011-12-05 10:17:57 -0600
Started 2011-12-01 12:33:15 -0600

I have replied to some posts on here. First I s*ck at total control of myself especially during stressful times on my diabetes. Next what about if your "TEAM" isnt doing their job but you are doing it yet no good results thus far? Where your family thinks they can stress you out beyond belief and expect you to put on a happy face. Or that you are sick and tired of being the person doing everything for everyone but no one can do what they said promised or whatever. How they dont see you as having diabetes. Nor about the ramifications of you not taking proper or good care of yourself. For I have no one here. I am at the point where I just want to drop all of them and let them sink or swim on their own. I have no one to talk to cause no one cares. I need to stop this negative cycle I am caught up in. Get back on track for myself. To do what I must and they can take care of themselves. So now my favorite quote from Road House is going to take effect. Be nice til its time not to be nice. Let them figure it out if they are such adults and have all those friends. Dont ask my friends for help. Go see your friends. Then when the crap hics the fan oh well. Cause I broke my shovel. Go get your own. Have a nice life. I wonder if they have realized how much against the wall I am and so ready to drop all of them. Thanks for letting me vent and get this out. Anyone with input please do. Mind you I dont really need negative input I get enough here. Have a great day!:)

11 replies

pixsidust 2011-12-05 09:48:22 -0600 Report

God open doors and windows of Blessing
Temi, needs the oil filled for her furnace
She needs her lights to be on
God awaken her husband to be a husband and provide
instead of abandoning her for drugs and infidelities
God give her sustenance

pixsidust 2011-12-03 00:44:03 -0600 Report

Its hard to form the words because my heart is heavy
knowing the weight of your very struggle
that rears up to crush you like a boulder.
I am sorry your are without means of support
and the basic provisions of heat and food
or the love that nurtures one to grow and survive.

Rejection is so cruel
and yet we find ourselves like moths to a light
wanting the love from the very people who threaten to burn us
Thus is your husband
who choose to not help and leaves you
abandoned with the care of his father.
You do not ask for Love but the most basic of help
I take it he is telling you not to talk to his friends
to control you and dictate from afar when he has no right
to dictate as he is not there and he is not invested
in your help and your survival
Yet you must survive…

I say talk to everyone and turn a deaf ear
to his belittlement and his desire of your silence
Let anyone listen…listen and anyone who might help
please receive that help.

Remember God gives this man free choice
all that happens is not meant to be for our world
is far from perfect and is not divinely ordered
I want to remind you that what is happening
is because of the free will of your husbands
and in no way part of Gods plan nor does it mean
God does not love you…he does

See yourself in his eyes, he loved you enough
to give his son for you…

I see a determined face and I believe this dark time shall pass
Talk to the world and ask for help…from everyone
You have too… you have to survive
You are in my prayers, my thoughts and my love.
Across the miles feel the hand of friendship
I am of heavy heart and without the right words…

Caroltoo 2011-12-03 01:15:50 -0600 Report

Pixsi: Beautifully stated. I want to just say "Yes, and from me too".

Temi, I'm saddened by your situation and impressed with your strength. The anger is righteous indignation aimed at those who have hurt or betrayed you. Care for yourself and draw strength from that anger. It's the best way to show them that YOU are important. And KNOW that YOU are!!

GabbyPA 2011-12-02 09:14:48 -0600 Report

A lot of our friendships are like leaves and fall at the end of their season. If they are not being a vital part of your life, then it may be time for them to drop. There will new ones to replace them, but until the old ones are gone, you may not be able to allow new ones in.

That black cloud is tough to kick, but you can. Rain it out (cry) and then let sunshine fill that space. Sometimes it is our fault for not being honest with them because we don't want to hurt their feelings. If they know they are hurting you, they may wake up to that fact. If not, then don't let them be a source of your negative talk.

I find myself in a similar place with doing for others, but having a hard time getting help when I need it. Usually it is because I am not open to asking for help and feel they "should see the need". That is prideful on my part and I have to be humble to ask for help. You know what, they usually will do it. Then I have to be careful to not criticize them for not doing it the way I would....it is a vicious cycle. When I do that, then I can understand why they don't want to help.

It all is easier said than done, but with some self love and determination, it is something that can work out. We don't need a lot of friends. We need a couple of good ones. You have those here if you want.

Young1s 2011-12-02 11:41:23 -0600 Report

Exactly. I don't have a big group of friends, with the exception of here, but the few that I do have are pure treasures, that I hold close and dear to my heart.

JoleneAL 2011-12-01 15:07:50 -0600 Report

Vent away!!! ((super duper pwd hugs))
And now I will stop complaining about hubby bringing candy in the house once in a blue moon.

Old-n-Grey-n-Wiser 2011-12-01 14:12:44 -0600 Report

Tsal­agiL­enap­e, as one of your D/C friends feel free to contact me through the profile message link if you feel the need for someone to liston to your thoughts.


kaiya2465 2011-12-01 13:18:46 -0600 Report

Tsal­agiL­enap­e: I hope I have not been part of the negative & understand about negative feedback (Counter productive). We are suppose to be here to help one another not ridicule them. I have no blood family to fall back on, so at times I feel very alone. That is why I will try & help you anyway I can..that is the way my mama raised me. If you need to vent, chat or whatever, I will be here for you the best I can!! Hope things get better for you soon…Hugs!

Young1s 2011-12-01 13:11:29 -0600 Report

Do what you have to do for yourself. I can't even tell you how many toxic people I have cut out of my life over the years. My time is too precious and my energy is to vital to me to allow someone try to bring me down. I won't stand for it and neither should you. Be blessed.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2011-12-01 12:58:55 -0600 Report

Hi Tsal­agiL­enap­e, there are adults out there who won't do a thing for themselves and always need someone to help them. They do this because if they can get someone else to do it, they don't have to do a thing. I will help anyone if I can. I WILL NOT help anyone who refuses to take steps to help themselves. On air planes they tell you to put your oxygen mask on first even if you have a child with you. The reason is that you cannot help anyone if you can't help yourself first. To thine owns self be true. Let them flounder out there in the world and take care of yourself first. People will treat you any kind of way they want to as long as you allow it and this includes family and friends. When you allow people to stress you out, frustrate you, anger you, or make you feel less of a person they control you. No one is going to take care of you the way you do. Start saying NO and stick with it. Do things for yourself and make them wait or tell them to get someone else or even better, tell them to do it themselves. Eleanor Roosevelt said "Do what you feel in your heart to be right -
for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't." Make today the first day of the rest of you life and start doing things for you and the stress will disappear. You can do it.

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