My husband had a stroke this morning...

By Caroltoo Latest Reply 2011-12-23 13:17:31 -0600
Started 2011-11-26 17:44:16 -0600

I was unsure whether or not to post this, but it definitely affects me in many ways and I'm one of those people who have to manage my stress to avoid a serious impact on my BG control. Right after this incident I was 97 and doing well, but here's my story.

Things have been rather crazy since last night when I think Wayne must have had a small stroke followed by another, perhaps larger, one this morning.

Last night I heard a loud sound and found him in the kitchen with his walker trying to get a mug of water. I got it for him, but not before he knocked a bunch of stuff into the sink and got rather belligerent and testy with me. This was really different for him, because he is never violent. Things got resolved, I got him back in bed, and went upstairs to collect myself.

I came back about 30 minutes later and found him sitting on his bed. He immediately apologized for being "mean" and was quite repentant. I assured him we were OK and I understood his frustration. He talked for about 30 minutes, then went to sleep.

During that time I noted that I was reading his body language and tone to get the meaning of his conversation, because the words were mostly nonsensical. I assumed it was the Alzheimer's getting much worse quickly. It's a hard disease to understand and I've gotten to where I just accept how unpredictable it is.

This morning at 7:30A, I was upstairs having a cup of coffee and reading when I heard a crash. My 18 pound cat is very active and loves to jump up on things to chase geckos up the walls (think kitty breakfast—he had brought a live one to my bedroom last night at 2 A.M.), so I didn't think much of it except to think I'd have something to clean up when I went downstairs.

About 7:45, I went down to fix breakfast. Wayne wasn't in his chair. Then I saw he wasn't in his bed either. Puzzled, I walked closer and noticed his walker still there. He can't walk more than a couple steps without it and no more than 10-20 with it, so that was really odd. I then noticed the lanai door was open. (It will be barred at night from now on!)

When I went out on the lanai, there was a trail of things knocked off the table and a chair in front of the lanai railing's gate blocking it, so that it would not open. I moved it and went out. His hat was at the foot of the five steep steps, a tissue and cough drop a few feet away, and he was lying on the grass about 40 feet away under a big old tree. I thought he was dead.

When I got to him, I went down on my knees and tried to talk to him. His eyes were rolled up and to his left and he was focusing somewhere way off in space. He is totally blind, but he does usually look at the source of the voice. Then he started talking. It made no sense whatsoever. I tried to get him up but he was rigid; then I tried to roll him over on his side. He resisted and was really stiff.

My neighbor came up then and said he had called 911 for him. I asked him if he would stay with Wayne for a minute or two while I dressed before the police arrived. I ran back in and was out within 2 minutes. Meanwhile the police had arrived and sounded like they thought he was intoxicated. He was talking a mile a minute because (he said later) he was afraid they were going to arrest him and he was trying to explain how he got there.

I explained he was 10 years into Alzheimer's. The police said, "Oh, well he can't stay here, do you want me to call EMT?" I said, "No, I would like help to get him back in the house, then I will call his doctor. He is DNR." The police caught on … realized Wayne wants to die quietly at home and I'm caring for him at home helping to make that possible for him.

They helped him up. I got his walker and we started toward the lanai. Then realizing the way we were going still involved the five stairs he had already fallen down once this morning, I suggested they support him while I get his wheelchair and take him in through our garage which is on the level. Police were appreciative … seems they hadn't been too sure they could get him up the stairs either.

He was very talkative, quite out of touch with reality, and still staring to the upper left for the next half hour or so. I checked him over for injuries after I realized he had climbed over the lanai gate and fallen down five steps. There are none visible. His tailbone hurts though, so I suspect he sat down on it rather hard when he fell.

When he began to look me in the eyes again, I gave him breakfast, tried to help him orient, then got him settled back in bed, and gave him his pain medication. I know that's not how you treat a head injury which is a possibility, but my goal with him is to keep him happy, safe, and as pain free as possible. He is dying slowly; preservation of life isn't an issue here, he is DNR by his choice.

At noon he got up for a few minutes. I got a bowl of his favorite cereal for his lunch. It's 12:30 here and he is now down for his second nap of the day. He was making better eye contact during lunch.

He is still telling stories that are fantastic, but I can see now how he is actually trying to tell me what happened this morning…it was a fantastic tale of being locked in a store, having to climb a fence to get out, falling, and loosing his "rubber" shoes in the process. He said he needed me to take him back to the store to get his rubber shoes. I assured him I already had them and all was OK.

Symbolism: the store is our house; he climbed over the lanai fence because he could not open the gate, fell, lost his thongs and hat at the foot of the stairs. Wow, the mind does really strange things in the throws of Alzheimer's. I'm thankful some of my psychology training included symbolism. It helps me make sense of these analogies.

It is now 1:45 here. Things are quiet again. I had my lunch (turkey and my new dressing recipe) two hours ago. My BG is 124. I think I'm going to practice self care and go take a nap on the sofa where I can hear him if he gets up.

Thanks for letting me share this. It's stress reducing just to journal the event.

126 replies

jigsaw 2011-12-23 06:46:37 -0600 Report

I can certainly empathiize with you. I went through some similarities with my mother, who has since passed on. She was diagnosed with dementia but it was never determined whether or not she had Alzheimers. It was an extremely difficult time. I was the only other surviving family member, so her healthcare and welfare was entirely up me.
Under the circumstances, your husband is very fortunate to have such an incredible, extremely caring and giving wife! I hope you stay strong, and I will pray with you. I would be happy to share my experience with you. You can e-mail me if you 'd like.

Caroltoo 2011-12-23 13:17:31 -0600 Report

Thank you for your empathy. It means even more coming from someone who has shared the experience. It is a challenging time. I've been spending some time on Alzheimer's connect also chatting with other's who are currently caregivers. One man recently discribed his loss of his mother after many years with A's and talked some about his journey through grief and loss.

dietcherry 2011-12-15 21:42:47 -0600 Report


What can you do to end Alzheimers? Join a clinical trial or enroll a relative in one. Researchers across the country are looking for atleast 50,000 volunteers to study new treatments or look at risk factors. And for the latter, you dont need to have the disease to participate. Learn more by calling the Alzheimers Disease Education and Referral Center at 800-438-4380.

-Excerpted from the November issue of Ladies Home Journal

Caroltoo 2011-12-16 00:15:03 -0600 Report

Thanks, Renee. Wayne has already been in one for Aricept, but we could always try another. I'll give them a call and see what this one is about. His is certainly an atypical case since it's over 10 years and he still recognizes me most of the time.

Libby121 2011-12-05 11:59:54 -0600 Report

Hi Carol! My thoughts and prayers are with you and your Hubby.

meowbat 2011-12-07 07:15:08 -0600 Report

Hopefully, We will all be allowed to understand the things we are "given" to deal with. someday is not a term I really "deal" with easily. I would rather be promised complete enlightenment, which I intend to hold HIM to.

jayabee52 2011-12-07 22:17:51 -0600 Report

the bible I believe in 1st corinthians says something like "In the present life we see as through a glass darkly. but then [in heaven] we shall see HIM face to face" Then we will understand. If we understand now it is wonderful, but don't let the lack of knowing get you down. You will know now if you need to know, later in heaven you will know everything needed.

Caroltoo 2011-12-05 12:21:51 -0600 Report

Thanks, Libby. Amazingly, he is recovering quite well. Does appear to have a badly bruised or fractured coccyx from his fall, but no hip or other breaks. Shattered one ankle about 5 years ago, so serious bone damage was a possibility we had to rule out.

June Tademy
June Tademy 2011-12-02 22:43:47 -0600 Report

Oh, you are such a beautiful woman. This man loves you so much for what you are doing because of your love for him. I am so touched by this story and by you. God's speed and God's love will and is always with the both of you. Hats off to you and your hubby too. Greatest love story I have ever heard:)

Caroltoo 2011-12-02 23:01:55 -0600 Report

Thank you, June. God's will and love have been the bedrock in our life. What I don't believe I have stated here in this discussion is that he was a pastor for 50 years, as well as a psychologist during the last 25 years. God gives strength where strength is needed and teaches us acceptance when things don't go our way. I have 35 wonderful years with this man. We have both been blessed by our relationship.

June Tademy
June Tademy 2011-12-03 14:47:54 -0600 Report

I again state that you are a beautiful woman, and I knew that one of you had a strong belief in God by the calmness in you. Reading your story has such a calmness, thankful and patient tone. I have never been so touched by someone as I have by you. You both are truly truly what love of the spirit and body is all about, I cannot wish you more than God's continued blessings, you have strengthened my faith in my life and I will continue to keep both of you in my prayers.

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2011-12-01 16:44:39 -0600 Report

So sorry Carol. Don't know how you had a 92 BS with this going on. That is a cruel disease. I will keep you both wrapped in prayer and for you to be blessed with continued wisdom and strength. It is so hard to protect him. Peace to you. Jim

Caroltoo 2011-12-01 16:59:23 -0600 Report

Thank you, Jim. Among other things, I make a conscious choice to remain positive. That's probably one of the reasons why I so enjoy your sense of humor and James silly jokes. It helps me keep it lighter. It is a cruel disease and he is a sweet, sweet man. Seems so unfair, but perhaps someday I'll understand the whys.

angelhart0464 2011-11-29 18:17:12 -0600 Report

im sorry to hear that about wayne , carol but im praying for you and wayne to get well my prayers are with ya'll god bless you

Caroltoo 2011-11-29 18:21:08 -0600 Report

Thanks, angelhart, he seems to be recovering well from the TIA and his only remaining issue is pain from where he hit his tailbone. Dr said it was an amazing story, but cleared him this morning. This was particularly amazing to her since she has only seen him in a wheelchair for the last 18 months. Thanks again.

Caroltoo 2011-11-29 18:05:50 -0600 Report

UPDATE: we went to the doctor this morning for x-rays. He does NOT have broken hips for which we are very thankful. His x-rays weren't definitive on the possibility of hairline fractures of the coccyx, so we're taking a wait and see stance on that one. There is no treatment, so either way the doctor has increased his pain medicine to 4X daily to be reduced again when he feels better. His mind is still clear. His doctor seems surprised about the "pick up his bed and walk" behavior he displayed on Saturday morning. Suggested he might have been in a fantasy — no doubt true because he has auditory and visual hallucinations regularly — but no explanation for the sudden mobility. He also had blood test for potential kidney issues that appear to be unrelated to his fall.

Mickey/CCHT 2011-11-30 08:24:07 -0600 Report

Ouch! That's no joke. Just have to wait for it to heal. That's too bad.
As for his walking, the mind can do amazing things, it was not thinking, oh we can't walk, he was in a "different" place in his mind, so he just went! His mind was not holding him back.
Do they think his kidneys are failing?

Caroltoo 2011-11-30 12:57:44 -0600 Report

That was my question to them because of decreased output. I'll email you the results since most won't be interested.

Mickey/CCHT 2011-11-30 08:24:35 -0600 Report

Ouch! That's no joke. Just have to wait for it to heal. That's too bad.
As for his walking, the mind can do amazing things, it was not thinking, oh we can't walk, he was in a "different" place in his mind, so he just went! His mind was not holding him back.
Do they think his kidneys are failing?

Mickey/CCHT 2011-11-30 08:24:55 -0600 Report

Ouch! That's no joke. Just have to wait for it to heal. That's too bad.
As for his walking, the mind can do amazing things, it was not thinking, oh we can't walk, he was in a "different" place in his mind, so he just went! His mind was not holding him back.
Do they think his kidneys are failing?

pixsidust 2011-11-29 20:27:43 -0600 Report

Again, I lift you and Wayne in prayer. You are close in my thoughts.

Caroltoo 2011-11-29 21:07:39 -0600 Report

Thanks, Christy. That will be an ongoing need from now on…be happy to have a permanent spot on your prayer list.

Caroltoo 2011-12-01 14:53:18 -0600 Report

Mahalo. That would be for his Alzheimer's and general adjustment and strength and endurance for me. I've been out of work for a year and think it's about time I need to go back or sell my home. Can't retire IN my retirement investment. :) Either way is ok, but would prefer to work and stay where we are. We are both happy here. It is so serene and calming.

Caroltoo 2011-12-01 15:37:57 -0600 Report

In the past, I've given him breakfast and medications before I went to work and dinner and medications when I return. I leave lunch in a cold hamper by his table/chair. He has an adequate supply of snacks that he can get easily out of the baggies also by his chair. His commode is within 12 inches of his bed. His walker stays with him in his "room". He really, usually, doesn't move more than the length of his bed as he goes from chair to commode. His constant companion is our 18 pound loving red tiger striped cat. We got him at Wayne's request for a companion. Our neighbors are around, have keys, and check from time-to-time; property manager does also. They all have my cell number and know I will come at the drop of hat, should they call.

One of the things I've been doing with this last year at home is access his needs. I've come to realize that the only substantive difference is that I give him lunch at lunchtime instead of him opening a cold container. Sure, we go out during the week, but we always did that on weekends and evening, so no real change there.

I'm thinking I may need to hire some of my three stay-at-home neighbors just to pop in and say hi and give the place a quick visual check on a scheduled basis, but not really do caregiving. He is amazingly independent and clear thinking most of the time. That's why I struggle with acceptance of the A's diagnosis. There is short term memory impairment, but it just doesn't look like any A's I've ever seen.

He has had TIA's before and will again. We always say "Good-bye" in the morning with a kiss realizing that one of us may not be there that evening. He is in my living will and care arrangements have been made for him, if I were to die. He really is in God's hands at this stage; I'm just the vehicle that arranges the support system.

pixsidust 2011-12-02 10:02:15 -0600 Report

At his age, talk to his doctor about ordering help so it is paid for by medicare/medicaid. My grand parents had a person come three times a week for 3-4 hours. This person cooked, cleaned the house, did laundry, and gave them baths. None of it was out of pocket. It would lighten the work load on you and provide a pair of eyes for him. If there is an elderly Omsbudsman program in your area they might be able to tell you more about receiving home help that is paid for. LOL

Caroltoo 2011-12-02 10:58:23 -0600 Report

Information I have gotten up until now is that Kaiser (his insurance) would provide a nurse or practitioner to come to the home for medical reasons; i.e. to do blood pressure checks, to change dressings, etc. That's not, as you pointed out, what the need is.

One of the agencies I've worked for has home health care available. When I'm working, I'm out of their financial eligibility range, and when I am not, I qualify but don't need the services. It's been a bit of a catch-22.

What you are describing sounds like the Home Health Care policy which I bought recently for myself for future use since I don't want to burden my son financially. Incidentally, if anyone reading this wants to do the same, do it before you are 65 because the rates go up considerably at that age.

There is an elderly Ombudsman program here in the state. That is about the one thing I haven't followed up on, primarily because I didn't think we would qualify. there still seems to be that archaic attitude out there, that the woman can stay home and give care. It certainly begs the issue of who then earns the income to pay the bills!

pixsidust 2011-12-02 11:16:59 -0600 Report

Their doctor ordered it and I think Medicaid picked up the tab. I will contact my aunt and see if she remembers more of how they got this service free. This was a care taker not a nurse and sounds like it would fit more with the need you will have. The omnibudsman may be able to tell you options you do not know.

Caroltoo 2011-12-02 11:35:51 -0600 Report

Medicaid is not an option here at this time. Yes, Wayne would qualify and yes they would not charge us while either of us live here. However, when I sold my home after his demise, they will come back on the proceeds but only AFTER sale. My home is where I have invested for my retirement. I can't allow the state to take that. I currently have my attorney checking into whether or not my trust, which is where my home is, is legally protected from Medicare claims for my husband who is no longer on the title and has not been for about 4 years now. Sticky little legal point…we will see.

pixsidust 2011-12-02 16:23:04 -0600 Report

Nursing homes come after your assets but thats not what happened with my grandparents. They had sold their house and bought a small condo. I need to give you better info. I will call my aunt over the weekend

jayabee52 2011-12-02 12:11:39 -0600 Report

I know about that Carol. When I was living in CA with "Jem" her mother died, and "MaMaG" was on Medi-cal (CA's version of medicaid) About 6 mos after MamaG died we got a letter in the mail telling us that we owed the state money for Medi-cal. And they wanted it within a year (as I recall).

But then about a month later we got another letter telling Jem that due to her blindness the debt was cancelled. The only thing we had of worth was the mobile home. I don't know if we would have needed to sell it otherwise. We barely made ends meet as it was.

Caroltoo 2011-12-02 12:23:41 -0600 Report

Yes, I was surprised to learn that also. I trained recently for insurance licensure and that was the one thing I got from the program that made it worth while. I knew I had to learn how to protest myself from the repercussions of supposedly "good" decisions.

dietcherry 2011-11-29 19:50:41 -0600 Report

Thats good news Carol! Im keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers and thanks for the update!!

Caroltoo 2011-11-29 21:05:38 -0600 Report

Yes, very good news. He really is a resilient old darling. His dad lived to just a few weeks shy of 100, so I guess it's in the genes!

valentine lady
valentine lady 2011-11-29 12:06:22 -0600 Report

Dear Carol: I just found and read your adventure for the last 12 hours or so. You so amaze me, your truely a wonderful person and I"m proud to call you friend. I'm crying as I am remembering the experience with my Father. He died of cancer, but was also DNR. He passed with me holding his hand, telling him how we would take care of Mom and how much I loved him. Your love for Wayne is eternal and I praise you for having that love in your life. Your brave aand calm when you need to be and journaling is the best way I know to get it all out. So talk away anytime you need too, we are all here for you, espically me…

I'm praying for you and Wayne and wish you many blessings. Love to you, Peggy

Caroltoo 2011-11-29 17:58:07 -0600 Report

Thank you, Peggy, that was lovely. We've had 35 beautiful years together. I really do appreciate your, and everyones, willingness to support me at this time.

I like your picture. Nice one!!

jayabee52 2011-11-29 06:53:24 -0600 Report

Howdy Carol.
Computers have been down so I have just read through your account just now. Wow such care and devotion you show. Proud to call you a friend!

Praying for both you and Wayne.


Caroltoo 2011-11-29 10:55:13 -0600 Report

Thanks, James, for your support and appreciation. Wayne and I have shared a lot over our 35 years of knowing and loving each other, this is just another stage on the path from this life to the next life. I, too, am proud to call you, friend. Your Jem wasn't with you long, but I know we would have seen the same devotion had we known you at that time.

Set apart
Set apart 2011-11-29 06:07:10 -0600 Report

I am so sorry for you, but you seem so strong and so tuned in to your husband's needs. My prayers go out to you, not sure how you were able to stay calm and focused on even your own needs. I would have probably grabbed something just to eat. I admire your strength and everyone else's on this website. Thanks for sharing. My prayers go out to you and yours.

Caroltoo 2011-11-29 10:58:43 -0600 Report

Hi, Set apart. Thanks for your prayers for both Wayne and me. It gives me the strength to do what needs to be done. As for the eating … it's what self-care is all about. I can't be strong for him, if I don't take care of me. When I'm not focused on taking care of me, then I need to plan so that the easiest choices are the OK choices that will help me take care of me even when my mind is somewhere else. That's what the prepared BUNCH of celery was all about.

jayabee52 2011-11-30 08:29:08 -0600 Report

speaking of self care, do you have some time when you can get away from the responsibility of caring for Wayne for a couple of hours? (respite care?)

Mickey/CCHT 2011-11-30 08:34:45 -0600 Report

Good question! And very important, everyone needs a little break. Parents from kids for example. It is always good to have down time.

hillwalker 2011-11-28 22:44:03 -0600 Report

it sounds familiar to me as well my grandfather had colon cancer and had sufferred a series of tia and strokes the anger and delusionary travel were consistent with his stroke periods the doctor said he might have had alzheeimers but the stokes alone could have produceed the dementia and so he was never confirmed alzheimers

margokittycat 2011-11-28 20:53:08 -0600 Report

Carol sorry to hear about waynes stroke(s). It sounds as though you have a had a rough couple of day's. Your love for your husband is so amazing and I understand everything you are doing and why. Just know if you ever need to talk or just let out how you are feeling or get out your frustrations we are always here. Wayne and You are in my thoughts and prayers and remeber god is watching over you at all times. Margo

Caroltoo 2011-11-28 21:02:17 -0600 Report

Thank you, Margo. It has been a challenging time, but we both seem to be coming through it. He has a doctor's appointment tomorow a.m. w/x-ray. Seems his major issue is that he possibly broke his tailbone as he fell. I'm doing well and feeling very supported by all of you. My MO is to do fine while there's a crisis, then to go deal with my reactions and feelings afterwards. Actually, doing all this on the website is very therapeutic for me. I'm processing as a I write, so I think I'll do OK. Thanks for the offer. Happy to chat with you sometime. We really do appreciate the offers of prayers. God is smiling.

margokittycat 2011-11-29 07:56:13 -0600 Report

I know how it is to take care of someone with the condition your Wayne has. My Grandfather lived with us and did things like this. We had to take his car keys and things away from him and an alarm on the home so if he opened any door or window we would know. He passed away three years ago and a year and ahalf later a lost my aunt who was like my mother. You are always in my prayers but when specifics are needed it helps. Blessings from God, Margo

dietcherry 2011-11-28 20:38:35 -0600 Report

Oh Carol tears are just streaming down my face I cant even express to you how touching your love story is and how youve brought into clear focus just how precious all of our moments with loved ones are
I dont know whose luckier to have whom-you or Wayne! Please let him know he has much family here thinking about and praying for him
Take good care of yourself and DONT ever hesitate to let us know how youre feeling and handling things OK? Lots of Love to you both

Caroltoo 2011-11-28 20:52:10 -0600 Report

So true, we never know how long we will have our loved ones and need to cherish all those precious moments, just like you do with your dad. Wayne and I are both lucky and blessed to have found such a deeply supportive and committed love. I'll let him know the "family" is thinking about and praying for him. He will appreciate it also. Thank you.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2011-11-28 20:19:04 -0600 Report

What an amazing experience. I can see how your training as a counselor, along with your presence of mind and devotion to your husband, contributed to the outcome. My heart goes out to you and your husband!

Caroltoo 2011-11-28 20:40:21 -0600 Report

Thank you, Dr. Gary. I am just amazed at the loving support coming from this group. I'm feeling very blessed that I stumbled onto the site a month ago. Yes, counseling, hospice, and critical incident training all play a role in the outcome. I'd just really rather not be having to use it at home.

It appears he may have broken or fractured his coccyx in the fall, so we have x-rays and an evaluation scheduled tomorrow. Your concern isi appreciated.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2011-11-28 21:09:39 -0600 Report

Hi Carol, yes, this is an amazing place! Lots of really concerned people here. Oh gosh, a broken coccyx. That's going to be an adventure for both of you. I will keep you in my thoughts! Please keep me posted.

Tamra Hodge
Tamra Hodge 2011-11-28 13:19:07 -0600 Report

My heart goes out to you. You are a very speacial woman,who is making sure your husband wishes are kepted.Many people wouldnt have done what you are doing.The love really shows.My dad had the same thing,and it became more visible after my mom passed away in 2006.He passed away peacefully on Dec 2nd 2009.I made sure he was comfortable.I thanked him for everything he did for me and my family,and I apoligized to him,if I did anything to hurt him in any way. I then sung to him and he had the most peaceful look on his face.A few minutes later he passed away.I was so happy to had been the one with him when he took his last breath.I dont mean to make you sad or if this makes you cry,that wasnt my intentions.I wanted to just sat How special you are,and that you are a true blessing from God.Prayers to you and your husband.

Caroltoo 2011-11-28 13:31:31 -0600 Report

Thank you, Tamra. I also had an experience similar to what you described at the time of my mother's death. She died in my arms after pulling me down on the bed beside her. We had just had a similar discussion because she was fighting death so hard…struggling to stay…and I wanted her to realize that she was loved, appreciated, and had done what she was here for so it was OK to move on. These are special moments, these transition times from one life to the next.

Mickey/CCHT 2011-11-30 08:21:54 -0600 Report

Okay you two, I have tears. Losing my mom such a short time ago, this just brings it all back up!! I'm very happy that you ladies were able to say good bye like that. I envy that just a little. But not bad!!

Jan8 2011-11-28 09:15:07 -0600 Report

You are one amazing woman. I applaud you. prayers go out to you and your husband. Your desire to keep him at home is admirable and I am sure he is happier and healthier for it. You kept your cool and took care of yourself.

Caroltoo 2011-11-28 11:37:16 -0600 Report

Thank you, Jan. That is nice to hear! He is much happier because of it and tells me frequently.

Jan8 2011-11-28 15:42:22 -0600 Report

now that is Love!

Caroltoo 2011-11-28 15:51:07 -0600 Report

Yes, despite his Alzheimer's of 10 years duration, he is amazingly loving and makes it much easier to want to love and care in return. He is a psychologist and, I think on some very elemental level, knows that he will get back what he gives. This isn't how A's is supposed to work, but it is how he is and we are.

Gracie40 2011-11-28 08:57:13 -0600 Report

Oh no this on top of everythng else. One positive note: so much support from our group. A real blessing. You are on the mark with the diagnosis. The staring up over his shoulder and the gibberish. That you kept your wits and ate smart during this crisis good for you. Of course prayers are pouring out your way and Thanks to God that he did not have to go to the hospital. Thanks to God for your courage and determination to keep him at home. Hugs

Caroltoo 2011-11-28 11:36:30 -0600 Report

Thanks for the synptom recognition. I'll give his nurse practitioner a call today. I just don't like ER on weekends unless it's really life or death. It's not 8A yet here, so that will wait a few minutes. Well…on to a new day and breakfast.

Mickey/CCHT 2011-11-27 22:25:49 -0600 Report

Oh my! I'm so sorry this is happening to someone you love so much. My respect for you has yet gone up another notch. I wish I were closer to be able to help you. The only thing I can offer is my support here and my prayers. I will pray for peace for Wayne and yourself and for strength. Don't forget, you do not walk this path alone. God Bless you, Mickey

Caroltoo 2011-11-27 22:33:19 -0600 Report

Thank you, Mickey. You are helping me just be being your kind and concerned self. I wish we were closer too. Your prayers are much appreciated. I can't help but think we are doing little practice runs for his final move. It's painful, but it's getting easier to handle each time it happens. He is 87 and we have had 35 beautiful years together.

Mickey/CCHT 2011-11-27 23:30:44 -0600 Report

God Bless you for your kind heart and strong soul. I know it cannot be easy, but when he does go, you know he will no longer be hurting or lost. AND he will be waiting for you. That is the only thing that has helped me thru the first year of losing my mom. I know it's not the same, but still a loved one. It is always the ones left behind that are hurting. But you are not alone. The Lord is with you. And so are we. God Bless.