my son .....type 1 diabetic , non compliant , deressed , age 19 . Help ?!

Desperate Mom in Tx
By Desperate Mom in Tx Latest Reply 2011-11-15 17:21:08 -0600
Started 2011-11-08 21:08:04 -0600

i live n texas . my 19 yr old son was diagnosed at age 12 with type 1 diabetes . we were devestated ! but he did really great til about 2 yrs ago . it all started running on a down hill spiral . this past yr has gotten deadly . a month ago i found him in his apartment, alone , non coherrant . had to dial 911 to get help . i had never been more scared . he no longer cares about himself or others . doesnt check his bs , guesses at how much insulin he mite need, eats watever, drinks alcohol … can anybody help me to help him ?!

13 replies

2011-11-15 17:10:12 -0600 Report

He's got to come back home, so YOU can manage his diabetes. Every time his #'s plummet he's loosing brain cells here. (every MD, every paramedic has told me this) I'm sorry to say this, but he is not responsible to live on his own. If he's that depressed, than he should go and fin some help. But he does need help. I hope that as a very concerned parent that you will put him back into his old bedroom, and you should start being responsible (again) for his life. I hope that not only myself but others on this site have helped or are continuing to help you. My thoughts are w/you & your son.

pixsidust 2011-11-09 12:25:04 -0600 Report

Bring him home. He is not longer responsible to live on his own. Thats what you do with him. How does he afford to live on his own anyway at his age? That comes to a halt.

College or no College if thats the reason he lives on his own, this boy could be dead in less than a year.

Get him hooked into Counseling and to a young adult Diabetic Group.
Contact your Juvenile Diabetes Association for where to go with him.
You can't make him care but you can stop enabling him to kill himself.
He needs friends who are just like him. He may be a legal adult but he is very immature, so be the parent and not the best friend. He is an illegal drinker. Put your foot down! Happy packing! Save Your Son!

2011-11-15 17:21:08 -0600 Report

Hey pixsidust, By the time I was 19 not only was I living on my own, in college, but I also had SEVERE Cystic Fibrosis. So people can live on their own w/having a disease of any kind. It's what the individual decides how he or she should handle it, is another story altogether. And in this case, I happen to agree with you. He should loose all forms of responsibilities for his health, and let a responsible adult take over. Or else, if he doesn't monitor his b/s, & takes whatever dosage of insulin he will in the end lose. He'll lose his life. In less that's what he wants. He should move back home, and find a psychiatrist/psychologist. Cause that's what he needs.

Desperate Mom in Tx
Desperate Mom in Tx 2011-11-09 13:46:17 -0600 Report

ive tried to bring him home . he stays for about a week then leaves again . he was workin up til yesterday but the company he works for no longer wanted him there due to his health . hes missed alot of work , so i cant blame them . he has friends that r type 1 . refuses to keep in contact with them . says theyre not like him . ive tried the counseling , he wont go . im not his friend anymore . he considers me the enemy . im considering the option of getting guardianship of him so that i can legally do more and he cant fight me .

pixsidust 2011-11-11 16:04:43 -0600 Report

Do not maintain that apartment or pay his bills. If you co signed a lease then talk to the management of the apartment to close out the lease and why. All parents are the enemy at one point or the other. Don't listen to any hooey he throws at you and do not try and be his friend. You are a Mother, trying to save her Son.

MEGriff1950 2011-11-09 14:05:58 -0600 Report

Desperate yes you can have him declared legally incompetant. I do not mean this to sound harsh or judgmental. You mentioned alcohol but from the sounds of his actions I am wondering if he is involved with illegal drugs. They can destroy the ability to reason and care for oneself. Partying wins out. I had many friends in the past whose drug use led to a self-destructive lifestyle.
Good luck with him and may God help you,

Young1s 2011-11-09 14:01:25 -0600 Report

As a mom of two 19 year olds I understand how difficult it can be to "mother" two independently minded young adults. But that doesn't stop me in the least. And in your case, that CAN'T stop YOU. Get the guardianship, get him into a program, get him couseling, whatever it takes. I feel your pain and know you are scared, but let that fear fuel you to go the distance to save your son. You are in all of our prayers for the time and strenghth to do so. God Bless You.

Mickey/CCHT 2011-11-09 09:03:12 -0600 Report

I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this. I have a 17 year old and can not imagine how much this must be hurting you.
I don't have any suggestions to add that other people have not pointed out to you. The only thing i can think of is doing an intervention. I seen on that show Intervention where they did one on a kid with diabetes and was not taking care of himself, he was doing the same things that you describe your son doing! He agreed to go to tx and i beileve he was doing good.
I will pray for you and your son. I pray he wakes up and realizes that he has a full like ahead of him and family that obviously cares greatly for him. Please don't give up hope. Lean on Jesus, he is there for you, you are not alone.
You and your son will be in my prayers. God Bless, Mickey

Desperate Mom in Tx
Desperate Mom in Tx 2011-11-09 13:56:21 -0600 Report

thx so much for ur prayers . they r desperately needed . i refuse to give up hope . the intervention episode u mentioned , that young man was also doing drugs . they sent him to a drug rehab . dylan needs a diabetes rehab . wen i called the only number for the show i could find , they told me they only dealt with drug and/or alcohol abuse .

Mickey/CCHT 2011-11-09 18:46:30 -0600 Report

Sorry, i did forget that! Sorry. Is there any counselors or the like that does that in your area? Did you check the local health dept? I pray for you and your son. I really hope it works out for you. We are all here for you. Blessings, Mickey

jayabee52 2011-11-09 02:52:03 -0600 Report

Howdy Tonya! WELCOME to Diabetic connect.

My heart goes out to you. It is so hard to watch someone you love so dearly to put himself through something like this needlessly. There are T1s here who have lived a relatively healthy life, is 75 years old and as I recall has lived with the condition for 66 years. He has just recently begun to have complications from his diabetes for the past year or two.

I an T2 but I went through a denial phase too, and did myself a lot of harm with regard to complicatons from diabetes. I have painful, debilitating and humiliating complications, but now my life is precious to me. I had kidney disease and at one point needed dialyis. I thought about stopping my dialysis treatments and just let my disease process "take me". I know what I went through at that time, and it sounds like what I remember feeling at the time. But I didn't let it take my life and my life actually improved from that really low point in my life. I eventually was able to get off of dialysis, and I met (online) a lady who was a real ray of sunshine in my life. I eventually moved 500+ miles to her and married her. (sadly she passed from this life July 23 2010 after we were married for about 18 months).

I am wondering what happened in his life at the point of him not taking care of himself? Did he lose a girlfriend, a job or something else which motivated him not to care? And if so, how can you motivate him to care again?

One thing you can do is go to see a therapist yourself. The therapist can be soneone with whom you can vent and be validated. You can also pick therapist's brain for ideas to which might help you help your son with caring for himself.

Another thing you could do is go to the police and find out about what the TX state law says about self-endangerment. You could have (if the law allows) him to be taken into custody for a period of time (usually 72 hrs) usually in a hospital type setting where he gets care. If you have to do it repeatedly that may be a basis for having him declared incompetent and a guardian (you?) be appointed over him to see that he gets care. That, of course depends on TX state laws. Google self endangerment in Texas laws.

Blessings to you and yours


Next Discussion: WOMEN & HEART DISEASE »