You all are so amazing!

Reene - 23252
By Reene - 23252 Latest Reply 2008-12-08 11:06:58 -0600
Started 2008-10-31 20:00:51 -0500

Ya know, this is the most amazing site around! I could be so down in the dumps over everything and all I have to do is come to this site and I feel so much better. I actually feel like you all care about what happens to me. On top of it all, tomorrow (November 1) is my birthday and I think…my God, where did my life go? I'm going to be 57 years old and that sounds so damn old!

I know, for me, the holidays are tough and they’re upon us now. All my life, I’ve struggled to make ends meet, like many, many others have done and so far I’ve made it. I look back and think…. I could have done things differently, I could have chosen a different career, I could have done a lot better than I have but I have all you guys to help me now and get through this.

There’s one particular person who has helped me a lot. His first response to me was hard, I thought he was yelling at me too much but I didn’t say anything. In his second response to me, he was apologizing, thinking he was too rough on me but I think I respected him more for that. He told me he cared about what happened to me and I thought…this guy is a stranger; he doesn’t even know me at all and HE CARES??? So thank you Dan V. for being just what I needed then.

Life is so full of roadblocks and I see that more and more in lots of discussions here. We all have our bad times but then we have a good time and that kind of makes up for it. I’m never going to be perfect. I’m me and I just have to accept that. I’m not a pretty woman and that’s ok because I’m me. I have a lot of issues going on in my life and that’s ok too because I have people to help me through them. I have a mother who puts me on guilt trips ALL THE TIME and claims to have everything wrong with her that I have wrong with me but that’s ok too because I have two sisters, a brother, a daughter and future son-in-law who support me when she does that. I have a husband who doesn’t really understand diabetes even though I’ve tried to make him understand but that’s ok. I’ve told him I could die from this disease if I don’t take care of myself but he just doesn’t get it and that’s ok too. As long as I understand it and have you all to help me then that’s ok.

But getting back to the holidays, it’s amazing what they can do to your sugars and I’m not talking about overeating, I’m talking about emotions. I can only do what I can do, nothing more. I will make it through the holidays and when they’re all over in January, God willing I will still be here. Thank you all for letting me vent!

Reene


22 replies

LadyDi - 26259Miller
LadyDi - 26259Miller 2008-12-07 07:37:58 -0600 Report

Don't know how I've missed this post before…just reading it today for the first time. Belated Happy Birthday! Wow, what an inspiration you are. You've gone through so much and continue to deal with so much, yet you remain positive and determined. Good for you! I just posted some remarks on "Happiness is Contagious" which I truly believe. Maybe you can take a look at those. Sometimes in life we just become so overwhelmed with all that's going on that it's really very hard to remain positive and upbeat. We all go through those periods. Through sites like this one and the many fellow diabetics that you come in contact with, you can see that there are many going through some really tough situations. Much worse than mine. It helps me to keep my troubles and issues in perspective, and I think supporting others is a great way to improve on our outlook and attitude. God bless you as you deal with all that you've shared. My dad's last years sound just like those of your dad, and they were just so terribly hard to watch. You and your family will be in my prayers. Keep up that great spirit!

Two painful feet
Two painful feet 2008-12-07 00:36:25 -0600 Report

Happy Birthday My Dear Friend
If you need me I'm as close as my phone.

Your Friend
JoAnna
503-363-8707

John Crowley
John CrowleyCA 2008-12-08 11:05:01 -0600 Report

JoAnna,
Please be very careful about posting your phone number. This is a public part of the site. Your phone number could be picked up by telemarketers or anyone.

I would recommend only giving out your phone number privately. Just my two cents.

Gabby
GabbyPA 2008-11-04 14:11:39 -0600 Report

Hi Renee,

What a fantastic tribute to the power of relationships. They are not all roses, but the thorns make us strong. It seems you have your fair share of thorns and blooms, and that is what makes the rose bush so beautiful. That balance of pain and beauty.

I am inspired by your comments, specially of your family as that can be the hardest to move past. On a day when you are feeling crummy, come back and read what you wrote here. It will inspire you all over again.

That Scorpio part of you gives you the great passion and moods to rise and fall in this battle. So keep that rose bush in mind. ((hugs))

Reene - 23252
Reene - 23252 2008-12-07 00:18:35 -0600 Report

Well Gabby, I hope I have your strength. Like I said above, I've been away for about a month now, not away from my home but away from here. Alot is going on in my life. My Mom is still at it and I let her get to me. Don't get me wrong, I love her but… But anyway, my Dad is dying and I've been trying to deal with that too. I know it sounds horrible but this has been going on for over 7 years now. He's got cancer, emphasyma and a whole bunch of other things wrong with him. At least once a year the dr says this is it, he won't make it. But he pulls through every time, thank God! The doc says he's a miracle. He's been on oxygen 24/7 for a while now and can only eat pureed food (3+ years now) and I tell myself if he could make it, then why can't I??? I'm not as sick as he is and he just won't give up. He's in the hospital right now because he fell but he came back to us. So now I can calm down again and get myself back to where I should be. Geesh, sounds like I'm venting again, doesn't it. Sorry about that. Good talking to you Gabby.
Reene

Gabby
GabbyPA 2008-12-07 07:48:53 -0600 Report

Hey Renee,
I think that when our sugars are out of control like yours have been, we tend to be more sensitive...oh, okay, we are more cranky. LOL I am sure that is part of what it going on with you and your mom. It is hard to stop sometimes, but if you are gaining your control back, then maybe that will settle down some too.
I cannot imagine dealing with a dying person for years. I know when my dad died, it seemed forever that he suffered, but it really was only bad for a month. I am weird, but I find a beauty in death, just as in birth. It is part of a natural cycle of things and perhaps seeing it that way will help a little.

We are glad you are back, and if you need to really chat or vent, drop me a note. I will be glad to help or just listen.

Frustrated mom
Frustrated mom 2008-11-04 13:16:26 -0600 Report

Happy Belated Birthday to you…Yes, the Holidays are so hard on so many, but we will all be okay, and you will still be here…You are in my prayers…

John Crowley
John CrowleyCA 2008-11-04 12:55:26 -0600 Report

Renee,
What a great tribute to the good friends we've all found here. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

And a belated happy birthday. I hope it was great.

Best of luck,
John

highlandcitygirl
highlandcitygirl 2008-11-04 13:08:13 -0600 Report

i also wish you a happy belated birthday! my own mother is gone now,but i understand how you must feel. bless her little pea-picking heart she attacked me out of her own emotional pain. though i understand now i didn,t then,it was painful and still is.

2008-11-04 05:17:58 -0600 Report

Happy Belated Birthday; It was a great discussion and reality bites, but you seem to be aware of it. But, please, do not be too hard on yourself:->)lilmarm

Reene - 23252
Reene - 23252 2008-12-07 00:08:34 -0600 Report

Lilmarm, I have to be hard on myself. I've been gone a little bit now but now I'm back again. This is why I have to be hard on myself. I stray a lot and slip up. My sugars have been from 180 to 305 for the past month and I know that's not good. But I'm back again so hopefully I will get through it. Thank you for your thoughts.
Reene

steadb
steadb 2008-11-01 09:09:49 -0500 Report

Thanks for your thoughtful and candid note. Happy Bday. You are an important part of this site's success.

Stead

sparkysmom
sparkysmom 2008-10-31 21:08:46 -0500 Report

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! You'll make it, we all will. One of the things I LOVE about this site is that there is always someone here when you need them. Call me if you need to talk. I'm always around.
Jackie

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