When will this get easier?

By prettyinpink0615 Latest Reply 2011-10-14 14:37:38 -0500
Started 2011-10-11 11:46:42 -0500

So just being diagnosed I feel overwhelmed. One min I am fine and think I'm a mother of soon to be 4 children I can do this! The next I'm thinking omg what if I cant? What if I mess up? What if I have to give myself shots in the future? Can I really do that with my bad fear of needles? How bad does it hurt to check my blood sugar? Ugh I feel like I'm bipolar. I'm scared honestly is what it all boils down to I guess. Why me? I'm a whimp. I don't know if I can handle this. I don't want to give up my food. I am such a picky eater I feel like I'm going to starve trying to be healthy. I'm whiney and negative right now can't help it. I just feel so depressed. Doesn't help I'm prego and my emotions are out of control right now. People I know just keep telling me you will be fine stay posative your going to get through this. But that's not what I want to hear right now I want to hear that it's o.k. to be scared and that someone understands. Don't try to fix me just listen to me let me express my fears! I love my family and friends so much but right now I just feel like they don't get it. I'm trying really hard to appear strong and together but on the inside I'm falling apart… Well at least I can vent here! Have my first appointment with the dietition tomorrow hope that will help calm some of my fears.

8 replies

prettyinpink0615 2011-10-14 14:37:38 -0500 Report

Wow thank you all for your answers!!! I met with a educator and I am feeling a lot more positive now. Still kind of scared but not helpless. Because I am pregnant they have to meet with me every week. My first appointment was a lot to take in… But I feel like I'm off to a great start. The hard part is not being able to eat what I am craving …lots and lots of sugar. I thought testing my blood would be awful and like everyone said it's not that bad. I think the anticapation of doing it the first time was the worst. My mom went with me to my appointment and plans to attend the rest of them so that's nice I know she loves me and this all scared her too. I think that is the reason she wanted to see me keep it together so she could. They said there is a 60% Chance of me developing type 2 with in the next few years I think that is what scared me the most right now there is a chance this could go away at least for a little. But the good thing is I don't have any family history. Not anyone related by blood anyways. I just have to keep my focus on living a healthy lifestyle from here on out. So with all that said I just really want to say thank you all so much!!! Some of you have made me laugh and some have made me cry but all in a healing sense. God bless all of you :)

Mickey/CCHT 2011-10-14 13:23:34 -0500 Report

Dear Pink, boy i know how you feel! People say things like that cuz they love you but don't really know what to say cuz they r not in the same boat! Did you check with your health dept to c if they have any classes or group support? I just read that a little while ago and i'm totaly going to call myself and check into it, can't hurt. I think a big step is reaching out like you are doing and looking for that core base of people who are going to understand and listen. This is a great site for that. I wish you the best of luck and know you are NOT alone! Keep the faith! God Bless. P.S. PINK is my favorite color! LOL

akamonie 2011-10-13 18:21:57 -0500 Report

Hi, I have been with diabetes for 7 years now and it's still not easy. Think with me I didn't take it too serious at first until I had my scare now im really serious and feel like a newbie in away. Like I have so much to learn. I started with medication because I was so scared of the insulin shots but then my numbers got to high so Dr. said "Think its time" He sent me to the diabetes center at Kaiser and they were so good and helped me so when I had to do it by myself I wasn't scared.

Your right you can express your feeling and fears here. Everyone has been so kind and helpful and I feel they give me tons of support. If your family and friens don't
get what is going on in your life feel free to come here. Good luck. Have any questions just ask away.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2011-10-13 15:09:14 -0500 Report

Hey prettyinpink,

I read your honest and heartfelt post and just wanted to check in and offer you some support. So sorry that you are going through this right now. I am not a physician but I counsel individuals who are facing chronic illness. And I want to first tell you that what you are experiencing is a normal reaction to being diagnosed with a chronic conditon.

Being diagnosed brings up a lot of emotions -- fear, disappointment, anger, furstration. You can't help but ask yourself "why me?" and "how am I going to deal with this?" Human beings don't like uncertainty and they don't like change. A chronic illness brings up questions about the future. And a condition like diabetes certainly means a lot of change. There is so much to deal with that the whole thing can feel overwhelming.

I don't blame you for not wanting to be told to stay positive. That is like being told not to feel badly about something when you feel really bad, as if you weren't entitled to have your feelings. And it is like telling you to just pretend everything is okay and deal. That might make things easier on the other people who have to watch you go through this but it doesn't make it easier on you.

So go easy on yourself.

I hope that you people to talk with who don't try to tell you how to feel or to fix you. You just need people who can listen. It may take some time for your friends and family to come around and get what's going on with you. Right now, they may be feeling helpless and so they want everyone to be all smiles. They feel helpless because they love you, as I am sure you know.

You might want to let them know that you don't need them to fix you or tell you what to do. You just need them to listen. Over time, they will.

You might want to check into support groups for people who are facing diabetes. Just an idea.

As others have suggested, it's important to get educated on yoru condition. When you get educated, you have the facts. You can flood the fear in the facts. Are you connected to a diabetes educator? Or does your doctor's staff educate patients? Are there local classes on diabetic care? Taking about your diabetes with an educator could help because they would be able to give you some perspective on how you are feeling and help you to get your self-care on track. You might want to ask a friend or family member to come along with you. It sounds like they could also use some education.

And I hope you will stay in touch with your friends on Diabetic Connect, the most supportive group of people on the planet.

Please stay in touch. Let us know how we can help!


Old-n-Grey-n-Wiser 2011-10-12 12:06:11 -0500 Report

As you educate yourself educate your family and I include close friends in the term family, they need the knowledge about diabetes to understand the challenges you have ahead of you. Also there is always someone here that will let you vent to relive the stress. Old-n-Grey

pidgeonhole 2011-10-11 23:25:56 -0500 Report

You are not alone. I went through the same thing 9 years ago when I learned I had Celiac disease and had to learn to live "wheat/gluten-free" which was an ordeal for me.
Now I've been diagnosed with type 2 and am feeling the same way all over again! I'm already sacrificing all bread, cookies, cakes, baked goods, carbs, etc…do I really have to go through this all over again, and what am I supposed to eat now?

It sounds like you have gestational diabetes due to your pregnancy? While you need to be careful about diet and exercise for the duration, chances are your BS should return to normal after the baby is born.

Heather44118 2011-10-11 12:13:04 -0500 Report

It is ok to be scared. And it is ok to fall apart. cry scream whatever makes you feel better. Were you diabetic before getting preg? To test your blood sugar is not really that bad. The lancing device has different settings. start with the lower settings then go up. A lot of people reuse the needle ( even me :) ) but the sharper the needle the less you will feel. And being diabetic does not mean you can't eat. Your diatition will show you lots of things you can eat. and there are tons of people on here and they are great. Did they tell you your A1C level, and how are your fasting numbers. Want to know a funny thing. we all mess up with our diets. I don't like that word. I like lifestyle change. And the whole family can eat this way. Even kids. You will hear it is not what you eat but how much. the dietition with help loads. Let her/him know how you are feeling. Be honest with them . It helps. Good luck. :)

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