I'm in DESPERATE need of help and support!!!

By Shanan Latest Reply 2011-10-20 23:21:10 -0500
Started 2011-10-06 14:04:16 -0500

My hubby, Kevin, has diabetes and I've done, said and tried everything possible to help understand just how serious and important this diagnosis is! His levels are way out of control again and, unfortunately, we have a doc that is just a complete sitck in the mud and will NOT offer any help, other than to threaten Kevin with his career and CDL lisence. I've heard about trying cinnamon tablets and changing his diet, but kevin refuses to give up certain foods! Any and all help will be greatly appreciated! I really don't know where else to turn… We have no insurance and really can't afford to seek another doc…

9 replies

Mickey/CCHT 2011-10-20 23:21:10 -0500 Report

I just seen this, so i don't know if your still having problems with hubby, if you are ask him the next time he eats something he shouldn't, ask him if its worth his leg, or arm, or fingers or toes? His eyesight? You can't make anyone do anything they do not want, but if you keep putting this in his face, maybe he will start to think. I am putting you and your husband in my prayers and will pray Kevin hears what Jesus is telling him, step away from the carbs! Good luck and God Bless

Uncle Lew
Uncle Lew 2011-10-08 15:22:49 -0500 Report

Sometimes Shanan all we can do is pray.
I have a friend who owns two bakeries, one specializing in Italian bread and the other in Italian pastries. Two weeks ago he was found passed out in one of his walk-in refrigerator box. His BS was over 700. Did this scare him or make him change his ways? No!
It seems some people will only wise up after it is too late. I hope this is not true for Kevin, not only for his sake but for yours too.
I have both you and Kevin in my prayers.

RAYT721 2011-10-08 15:22:06 -0500 Report

Shanan: I am really sorry to hear about the situation that you're in. Unfortunately there are no ways that I know of to help another person motivate themselves to change. This is as true for diabetes as it is for drug or alcohol addictions. That is why groups like Al-Anon were created… to help other family members who are affected. I see cigarette smokers carrying around oxygen tanks at hospitals. Do ya think maybe they should quit smoking? I agree with those who suggest getting counseling for YOU. This doesn't mean that you have to stop caring about your husband but maybe find new ways to help motivate him. What you've been doing isn't working … perhaps time to try something new???

granniesophie 2011-10-07 11:11:55 -0500 Report

Shanan, I can't believe that almost a year later he is still carrying on in this way. I remember last year when you first came on this site we talked about him not wanting to do anything about his diabetes and getting it under control.
Seems to me that if, after all this time, he still isn't trying to control his numbers, eat properly and exercise to get on top of this disease, he is never going to. I guess he will see the effects of this very soon, especially if he gets his CDL pulled and cannot do the job he likes and wants to do.
My friend, I am more concerned right now about you and what this is doing to you. Can you try to find a support group where you are? Mary is right, we are a great and helpful supportive group, but you need real people to talk to as well. You are the one who needs help in getting through understanding why he is being the way he is, and perhaps they can come up with more ways to get him to see what is going to happen if he isn't under good control. Perhaps a good scare might just turn this around.
Not the best choice, perhaps, but maybe thats what he needs. You know, kind of like that show "Scared Straight" that sends kids to jails to see what could happen if they don't straighten up, maybe if in the support group there were people who were caregivers of loved ones who had all the bad complications he could see what could happen.
You just hang on, we all have your back. Something is going to happen and this will turn around, but you may just have to rock the boat yourself for it to :)

jayabee52 2011-10-08 03:06:52 -0500 Report

Shanan, If you cannot get him to a counselor, then go to a support group yourself. Or if no support group avaliable you might want to go to a counselor by yourself so you can get ideas of how to deal with the situation.

Marytea 2011-10-07 09:31:09 -0500 Report

Shanan, you have my heart and my prayers. You are facing a truly difficult situation. You can feed him information, feed him right, offer all the support you can, but he still has to choose to manage his diabetes. As others have said, be strong, brave and be sure to build a strong support network for yourself and not just on sites like this (although this is a great one.) Sometimes you need support with skin on it. Take care of yourself. You are important too.

ShellyLargent 2011-10-06 15:57:29 -0500 Report

I've not had much luck with the cinnamon tablets, personally. I still need to take my insulin and I've not seen a dramatic reduction in the amount of units I need to take. I know it's hard to just sit by and watch your loved ones do something so stupid, but there's not much you can do at this point. If he's not willing to take control of his diabetes, it will take control of him. He sounds like a person who doesn't much like being told what to do, that's why the harder you and the doctor try to force him to do what he's supposed to be doing, he does the complete opposite. Until he has a scare that shows him that he's not invincible, not much is going to change. I have complications because of my diabetes being out of control for a while and they're not fun… I had a major heart attack 2 yrs. ago, I have severe neuropathy in both feet (extremely painful), and have moderate retinopathy of both eyes. I would say just enjoy life now with him because soon enough, something is going to happen, and it won't be for the good… If he doesn't change his ways now…

Beata2 2011-10-06 15:49:10 -0500 Report

He knows that he will lose his cdl if he goes on insolin right? My hubby works hard to keep his #'s under control and he does longhauls. It takes a lot of work but he takes most of his food on the road and when he hits the truck stops he gets salads and bunless burgers. Truth is your husband has to man up.
You need to be strong and get all the support you can, just like everything else this effects the whole family. Good luck!

Type1Lou 2011-10-06 14:19:16 -0500 Report

Dear Shanan, Until Kevin faces the responsibility of managing HIS diabetes, he's in a downward spiral leading to complications (kidney failure, neuropathy, blindness, impotence, high risk of stroke and heart problems etc.) and eventually to his death. Because you love him, you want to do everything to help him help himself…but if he's in denial, there's only so much you can do. Try to only keep healthy foods in the house, maybe…but you can't control what HE puts into his mouth. Or maybe you can start walking together as exercise…that could help some. I would also make certain that you have a will and that your beneficiary designations are in order because if he stays in denial you'll need it sooner rather than later…dealing with that eventuality might wake him up. I wish you strength!